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“You need anythin down there? Any tools or thingamabobs, or maybe ya wanna come up here and have a break? You’ve been goin for hours on hardly any sleep and I know for a fact ya haven’t eaten anythin in a full day.” Jack’s voice was slightly muffled as he called to Mac in the crawl space. “Five minutes for a granola bar and a soda.”
“Can’t.” Mac said. “No time.”
“Bud, I clearly remember ya sayin this big old thing ain’t got any sorta timer on it. You can take a minute to take care of yerself. We can holler at everyone outside to let them know.”
“I can wait. This thing can’t.”
“See I think that’s supposed to be switched. This thing can wait, you can’t.”
Mac huffed. “Every minute this is here is a minute where something can go wrong. The best and safest course of action is for me to somehow get both of the bombs disabled at the same time.”
“Yeah, but ya need to make sure yer at yer best to be able to do it. That means takin care of yer needs. I can see yer runnin on fumes and yer fixin to crash the first sec ya get.”
“I’m okay, Jack.”
Jack huffed. He knew he was fighting a losing battle at the moment. There was a split second where he thought that maybe Mac decided to listen to him, when he jumped out of the hole, but he only made a beeline for a few tools before heading right back.
“Okay, no, stop.” Jack stood in the way. “You need to take a breather for a minute.”
“No, what I need is to get back down there and deal with the giant bomb under my house.” He tried to push past Jack but was stopped.
“Mac.” The gentleness of Jack’s voice caught him off guard. “Kiddo, yer hands are shakin.”
Mac looked down, and his hands had indeed been shaking, something he hadn’t even noticed.
“Take a second to calm down.”
He let Jack move him to the couch and sit him down. He let out a somewhat strangled laugh at the whole situation. “When I dropped out of MIT to join the army, I was scared I wouldn’t be good enough.”
That caught Jack off guard. “Proved yerself wrong though; best EOD in the whole damn outfit. Still the best when yer the one nearly everyone calls to come check when somethin’s up.”
“That’s the thing though, I didn’t prove myself. Every morning when I get up, I’m worried I won’t be good enough. That I’ll fuck something up and get who knows how many people killed.”
“Mac—”
Mac let out a wet laugh. “Every morning Jack. Out in the sandbox, I was responsible for making sure someone didn’t die. And now? Being here in my own house that’s been wired to explode? If I don’t manage to disarm this—”
“Stop.” Jack placed his hand on Mac’s shoulder, trying to calm the tremors going through him. “I need ya to take a deep breath for me. Okay?”
Mac shook his head slightly.
“Come here.” Jack pulled him into a hug. “Just focus on yer breathin. Feel my heartbeat. Everythin’s gonna be just fine, because I got the best bomb nerd there is, workin on fixin this whole thing.”
“I’m not the best.”
“Ya are. What ya ain’t is perfect, because there ain’t no one in this world that’s perfect. I mean fucks sake Mac, ya disarmed 126 IEDs in one day. No one got even close to that. If that ain’t the best then I don’t know what is.
“Look, I know what it’s like to walk down a dark path, where there ain’t no light at the end of the tunnel and it just keeps goin and goin. I may not have been with ya when ya started down that path, but I’m gonna do my damnedest to catch up and help ya find yer way out.”
Mac looked at him, blinking away unshed tears.
“Yer enough, and when ya think ya aren’t, I’ll be there to slap the thought from yer head.”
“You are pretty good at navigating through the dark.”
“Damn straight. Now yer gonna take a second to eat and drink somethin, then yer gonna tell me whatcha need so we can get outta here.”
***
The time that it took to figure everything out and explain it to Charlie, and actually set everything up, was probably one of the longest nights of Mac’s life. Jack could see the exhaustion in every move Mac made; the overly careful movement, double checking the wires, needing to stop to reset his vision after each movement.
Mac had been arrested, and it had taken almost a full day to clear his name, and then Sam got shot, leading to a secondary sleepless night. When she was finally out of surgery and told everyone to get home, Jack was hoping that Mac could get a few hours of sleep. In all honesty, Jack was hoping for a few hours himself, but low and behold— someone, the ghost , had to go and wire Mac’s whole house to explode.
That had marked night three of no sleep or any sort of rest for Mac.
And he had to disarm a bomb.
Jack knew stress, but Mac was under a different kind of stress, one Jack couldn’t begin to understand. He didn’t know how Mac hadn’t crashed yet, but knew it was going to be hard once it happened.
Jack had been watching, sitting by, as Mac was disarming beneath his floorboards. He’d check outside to see Charlie’s progress, and it looked like he was finished and everything was being cleaned up. He wanted to ask Mac his progress, but knew any distraction would only add unnecessary pressure that he didn’t need at that moment. So Jack would wait, while the day had turned to night and then to day again, until Mac finally emerged from the hole saying they were safe.
When Mac did heave himself back into the living room, whatever bomb component coming after him, Jack could see the slow decline of the fight. Jack raised a brow at him, Mac merely smiled in response.
“Did I beat Charlie?”
“Sorry bud, ya still hold the title for slowest EOD there ever was.”
Mac seemed to get a small burst of energy when they exited the house, and it lasted until just after everything was cleared up, save for the actual bomb parts being removed from the house.
“Okay, Bozer’s gonna bunk with Riley for a bit, and yer comin home with me until the house gets all put back together. I know ya got a bit of stuff at my place but is there anythin ya want? I can get a bag packed in five.”
Mac had been leaning on a doorframe, eyes shut. “Uh huh.”
“Ya wanna go get stuff or just want me to do it?”
“Sure.”
Jack walked over to him, a hand going to the crook of Mac’s neck and shoulder. “I don’t wanna see ya on the floor. Ya gonna knock out on me if I go get ya some stuff?”
“Definitely.”
Mac didn’t even wait until Jack was gone before listing forward, not caring about anything other than his whole person meeting the floor.
“Whoa, okay hoss let’s get ya over to the couch while I get yer things, alright?” There was no reply, and Jack was nearly certain that Mac was unconscious. He pulled an arm over his shoulder and got Mac on the couch.
Jack didn’t really know what to grab other than some clothes. There was already some at his place, and a closet full of things Mac could tinker with if needs be, but given his current state, Jack didn’t think he’d be doing anything but sleep the whole day and probably well into the next.
“Alright, I got the bare minimum and I’ll order us some food when we get there. Lord knows ya ain’t ate nothin the past few days. I promise once we get somethin in ya, ya can pass out all ya want, okay?”
“Jack.”
“Yeah bud?”
“Thank you, for everything.”
Jack smiled. “Yer gonna be okay Mac. I gotcha.”