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When Colin’s eyes squint open blearily, it takes him a moment to figure out what’s going on.
The hotel room is encased in darkness and there’s no light peeking out behind the curtains, so it’s still nighttime. There’s a soft grumbling behind him and he remembers that he’s sharing the hotel room with Roy.
“Yeah?” Roy’s voice is low and sleepy, and curious as if he’s answering his phone. That must be what he’s doing, Colin realizes. He can vaguely remember the sound of vibrating in his dream before waking up.
“Baby? What’s wrong?”
See, Colin was just going to close his eyes and go back to sleep. He didn’t care enough about Roy’s middle of the night phone call to stay awake and listen to it. But then he said baby, and he sounded all concerned and shit.
Colin has been playing with Roy for two years and he’s never heard him mention anything about being in a relationship. Nothing in the tabloids over the past several years have indicated anything towards an actual relationship. Who is he talking to?
With wide eyes locked on the curtained window in front of him, Colin listens as behind him Roy uses the softest voice he’s ever heard come out of him.
“Okay. Take a few deep breaths, Jay.” Roy takes a few exaggerated deep breaths in and out, and Colin hears the bedsheets rustle. “Okay. No—don’t apologize. I’d rather you call than you deal with it by yourself.”
Whoever Jay is must be having a rough go of it, and Colin feels a tiny bit bad about listening in on this. But it’s not like he’s going to go back to sleep now, so he stays still in the admittedly comfy hotel sheets and debates whether it’s too late to leave the room without it being weird.
He doesn’t want to leave, though, because it is the middle of the night and they have a match tomorrow. He wants his rest, even if that rest is laying in bed accidentally eavesdropping on a personal phone call between Roy and who Colin guesses is his girlfriend.
“It’s okay.” A couple beats pass. “I know. I know, sweetheart.” His tone sounds so close to heartbroken that Colin feels his own heart clench for both him and the person on the other side of the phone.
Several minutes pass in near silence, in which Colin assumes the other person is talking. The only noise in the room is Colin’s quiet breathing—he’s unnaturally conscious of it in his want of Roy to not know he’s awake—and Roy’s soft grunts and mhms that he lets out every once in a while.
“You don’t have a match next weekend right?” Roy’s voice cuts into the silence and startles Colin a bit.
Wait. A match? Does that mean Roy is dating another athlete?
“Come down here for the weekend, then. You can tell them that there’s a family emergency and that you’ll need to miss training for a few days. You’re off on Sunday, anyway. Come to London for a few days, Jay. Get away from everything in Manchester and have a proper fucking break.”
Colin runs through all of the women’s teams he knows of in Manchester in his head and tries to think of anyone who might be affiliated with Roy. He knows City and United have women’s teams.
“Yes, you fucking can. You know Pep won’t mind if you say it’s a family emergency. Unless you have something you can’t miss, why not? You deserve a fucking break, love.”
Roy may be talking with a quiet, soft voice, but he’s only laying a few feet away. Colin can hear each word that comes out of his mouth, and he most definitely heard Pep.
Whoever Roy is talking to, he calls them baby, love, and sweetheart. Whoever he’s talking to seems to be under the management of Pep. City’s men’s manager.
Colin feels like his heart is about to pound straight out of his chest. He’s not certain that Roy isn’t able to hear it. It’s certainly all Colin can hear for a good few moments.
He knows that statistically, he’s probably shared locker rooms with other queer guys before. He knows that there’s no way he’s the only gay one in the league. But that doesn’t mean he ever thought he’d know about it. That one of them would be fucking Roy Kent.
Part of him feels glad and happy and a bit relieved that there's another queer player on the team. Part of him feels a bit sick that Roy definitely did not mean to tell him. He wasn't supposed to hear this conversation. He knows he won't be able to not tell Roy what he heard. That's not fair to him.
“Yeah. You could come down Thursday after training.”
Trying his best to be quiet and still appear asleep, Colin takes a deep breath in and out in an attempt to calm his rapidly beating heart and catch his breath after that revelation.
Fucking Roy Kent is dating a man. Football legend Roy fucking Kent. No wonder he's never mentioned dating anyone before.
“There we go. We've got a plan. You just need to hang on a few more days and then you can come home.” Roy sucks in a sharp breath at whatever Jay responds with. “Yes, you can. You've got your mum and you've got Simon. You have me on the phone whenever you need it. You can do it, Jamie.”
Jay. Jamie. Colin's not that familiar with Man City's players, but it does ring a small, little bell. He's sure he'd recognize him by his face or last name.
Wait.
Jamie.
Jamie fucking Kent.
The lads always have a bit of a laugh when they play against City because Roy and one of City's blokes have the same last name.
Is Roy fucking married?
Colin should have left the room when he had the chance. It's definitely too late now. He was absolutely not supposed to know this information. He partially hopes this is one of the times where he misunderstands the situation and he didn't just have Roy unintentionally out himself, and his partner, to him.
“One second at a time, right? Then minute by minute. Hour by hour. You've got this.”
It's good advice, honestly. Colin might take it and use it for himself.
There's another long, silent pause where Roy doesn't say anything. Colin takes the time to think about what he's going to say when the phone call is over. How would he want someone to react after learning that information about him?
“Yeah. We’ll talk about that properly once you're down here and I can give you a good cuddle. We definitely need to change something.”
Roy lets out a long sigh.
“How’re you feeling now? Are you okay for me to get off the phone? No—Jamie—don't apologize for that. I answered the call, didn't I? Let me worry about how much rest I get.”
Another sigh.
“Yes, I know.” He says it both fondly and exasperated, as if he’s heard whatever Jamie said a million times.
Colin imagines that Jamie said something about getting enough sleep before the match tomorrow. He wonders what it'd be like to be married to someone who knows football just as intimately as he does.
The conversation is winding down, and he's starting to feel a bit shaky with nerves knowing that he's going to have to talk to Roy soon.
“You promise you're okay?”
“Of course, love. I’ll call you in the morning.”
“I love you, too.”
Part of Colin aches to be with someone the way Roy apparently is with Jamie Kent. Being able to call in the middle of the night when in trouble, the casual terms of endearment, the way every sentence is spoken with affection. He doesn’t get to think about it for too long, though, because Roy ends the call and lets out a long, heavy sigh.
Now is when Colin needs to turn over and admit that he just heard every single thing Roy just said. He has a rough plan in his head of how to approach it tactfully and kindly. That doesn’t end up happening, though.
What he does do is turn over in bed with less grace than he’d like to admit, getting himself tangled in the covers, and blurting out a messy, “I’m sorry!”
“Fuck!” Roy jumps, startled. “What the fuck?”
“Sorry.” This apology is for scaring him, now. He wishes that’s all he had to apologize for. “I was awake.” He means to say more than that, but that’s all he can get out. His heart is still beating wildly despite his attempts to calm it.
Roy freezes. He’s sitting up partially with his back resting against the headboard, his phone clutched in his hand. His eyes are wide and—and he looks scared, Colin realizes. He’s never seen Roy Kent look fucking scared before.
“What did you hear?” he says, with a tone that tells Colin he knows he heard everything.
With an apologetic look, Colin replies, “Everything.”
“Fuck,” Roy breathes. His phone falls into his lap and he hides his face in his hands.
With that reaction, Colin knows he’s been reading this situation entirely right. He feels kinda proud of himself that Roy believes Colin was able to figure it out from hearing just his side of the conversation. It’s rare that he’s given that sort of credit.
“It’s okay!” Colin hurries to say, not wanting Roy to get the wrong impression here. Less frantically, he repeats, “It’s okay.”
Everything Colin was thinking about saying disappears from his mind at this very new, startling sight of Roy. With his hands rubbing up and down his face, Roy’s muttering repeated fuck fuck fucks.
“Are you…” Colin starts. He doesn’t actually know where he wants that sentence to go. Are you okay? Are you married to Jamie Kent? He lets Roy interpret it however he wants and closes his mouth.
Eventually, Roy’s hands slide from his face and he turns his bowed head to face him. Even in the dark, Colin can tell that his eyes are a bit red around the edges.
“Just so there’s no misconceptions—you think I was on the phone with a man, right?”
Colin nods.
Nodding as well, and still with his eyes on him, as if he’s gauging his reaction, Roy says, “I was talking to my husband.”
Colin sucks in a breath. He already guessed, but thinking about it and hearing Roy fucking Kent say those words are two very different things.
“And your husband is…”
“Jamie Kent from Manchester City.”
“Wow,” Colin breathes, looking away and cutting the eye contact they’d had. “Honestly, I might be more surprised that you're secretly married than that you're into men. I get it, though, why you've kept it a secret. I really do. I'm—” Well. Why the hell not? He looks Roy in the eye again. “I’m gay.”
Roy’s eyes widen, he grunts, and he nods, but doesn’t say anything. He visibly relaxes, though.
Even after years of playing together, Colin knows very little about Roy, and now he’s suddenly in a position where they’re talking about being queer, even if it is minimally. He decides to take the risk and see if he can get any more information out of him, while he has the chance. God forbid he wants to get to know his captain.
“If you don’t mind me asking, how long have you been together?”
Roy grunts again and Colin thinks that’s going to be his answer. That Roy is going to lay back down, turn away, and call it a night. But then he does answer.
“Five years.” Which, wow. “Married for three.”
“That’s a long time to keep a relationship hidden. Kinda surprised you’ve managed to do it for this long, especially with the same last names.”
“Honestly? It hasn’t been that hard. We’ve lived in separate cities for most of it. He changed his name before joining their senior team, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. The only people who really noticed were some locals who followed City’s youth teams. He joined the Academy when he was young.”
Colin’s realizing that this is the first time he’s ever spoken to another queer person about this sort of thing. He’s never talked to another queer person with the knowledge that they’re both queer. The realization makes his shoulders drop, and he notices that his heart has returned to a normal pace.
“When—how did you meet?”
Roy must be feeling some sort of way tonight because he keeps answering Colin’s questions. Finally, Colin fixes the covers he’s still tangled in and lays on his side properly, with his head propped up on his hand.
“Chelsea was up north playing City. Jamie was on their under-21 squad and lurking around the place. Turns out he was trying to meet me.”
“Wait, so he was a fan?”
Roy throws him an amused look. “The fucking biggest.”
Colin laughs softly. He asks his next question in a near whisper. It still feels too loud in the dark, quiet room. “Do you two ever plan on coming out?”
“Fuck no,” Roy responds immediately, sharply. “At least not anytime soon. Not while Jamie is still at the beginning of his career. There’s no fucking way we’re going to do something that could jeopardize that.”
“Yeah,” Colin sighs. “I don’t want to come out publicly for that reason, and also it’s nobody’s fucking business, but… at the same time, it’d be nice to be able to hold my fella’s hand in public, or kiss him after a match.”
“Yeah,” Roy says softly, nodding, with eyes full of understanding.
The two of them hold eye contact for a moment longer, then they both look away. He watches as Roy checks his phone.
“It’s almost three. We better go back to sleep.”
“Mhm,” he hums. “Early morning, and all that.”
They both lay back down fully, not facing each other any more.
Colin tucks his blanket around his shoulders and snuggles his face into the pillow. His mind is fucking reeling from this night’s revelations. Both Roy’s and his own.
Just before he closes his eyes, he decides to say one more thing.
“I think it goes without saying, but I’m not going to tell anyone.”
“Yeah. Thanks. Me too, Colin. This shit is staying fucking private.”
“You may want to be careful next time you answer your phone, then.” He says it jokingly, but they both know it’s not just a joke.
“Fuck off.”
Ah, there it is. The reaction Colin had been expecting out of him all night.
Finally, Colin closes his eyes again.