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“Do you think we would’ve met if things had been different?”
Izuku sat up upon hearing the question, pulling himself away from where he’d been leaning on Shouto’s shoulder. Shouto mourned the lack of warmth as Izuku shifted his weight around so that he would be facing Shouto.
Not that Shouto was looking at him, instead playing with a frayed piece of string coming out of the couch, ignoring the way Izuku was examining him.
“What do you mean?” Izuku asked, his voice careful.
What did he mean? Shouto’s entire life had been one singular choice—that he had no hand in making. When he was younger, he used to think about ‘what ifs’ all the time. What if his quirk hadn’t been both fire and ice? What if he had the chance to play with his siblings? What if his father was the number one hero?
What if.
It’s not that he wasn’t happy with the way things were, on the contrary, Shouto had never been happier. By this point, thinking of what ifs was less of a longing fantasy and more of a habit.
But it was as they’d been sitting on the couch, half on top of each other, Shouto had been seized with a sudden worry. While the point of his what ifs had always been to imagine life radically different, the one thing he wanted to remain forever the same was Midoriya Izuku.
Or more specifically, he wanted Midoriya Izuku to always be with him, in the way they were now.
They’d been through so much together, Shouto genuinely did not know how he’d gotten through life before he’d met the other boy. The idea Izuku might have never been in his life, never have changed it for the better was almost inconceivable.
And yet, for just a second, he’d thought it into existence. He never wanted to think it again. Still, the words had managed to slip out of his mouth, his need to get reassurance from Izuku overpowering his desire to bury that horrible treacherous thought where it could never surface again.
But saying all that out loud felt silly. He knew that there was no way for the past to be different, even if the anxiety swirling around in his chest was saying otherwise.
He let out a drawn out moan, hanging his head, speaking proving to be beyond him.
Izuku reached over, playing with the stands of Shouto’s hair. The steady brushing of his fingers never failed to make Shouto melt.
“Come on, talk to me,” Izuku coaxed.
Ugh. If he kept doing things like that, how was Shouto supposed to keep his cool?
“I mean, what if…what if everything had been different? If one of us didn’t go to UA or want to be a hero…or I don’t know, just different. Would we still have met?”
Would we still have fallen in love?
That’s what Shouto had really been thinking. That’s what he so desperately wanted to ask. He looked at Izuku, heart in his throat. Suddenly, somehow, hearing Izuku’s answer to his silly what if question had become the most important thing in the world to him.
Izuku opened his mouth before closing it again, his expression puzzled.
He put a finger on his chin as he carefully deliberated on Shouto’s question, his familiar habit of muttering showing up like a reliable friend. Of course, Izuku muttered too fast for Shouto to catch all of the words, but he could definitely catch some key phrases.
Mainly along the lines of, but they both did want to be heroes, UA was the best school so where else would they go?, and even if they’d ended up in different classes they would’ve met at the Sports Festival or summer training camp.
Shouto wasn’t surprised. Not really. He’d always known Izuku was the most determined person he’d ever met, so it was no shock to see he had a one track mind. Conjuring up what ifs about life was probably difficult for him.
Seeing Izuku’s furrowed brow was enough for Shouto to want to take the words back and he almost did too, when Izuku looked up at him, eyes blazing. He took one of Shouto’s hands in his own, lacing their fingers together.
“I think,” Izuku paused as if having trouble finding the words. He bit his tongue, eyes momentarily narrowing before he nodded to himself. “I think things would have been different.”
Shouto remained quiet. That was the premise, yes, he wasn’t quite sure what to say to that.
“It would have taken longer for us to meet, if we ever did,” Izuku continued and Shouto felt his heart stutter. Did that mean Izuku could imagine a world in which they never met?
As if reading his mind, Izuku shook his head. “What I mean is, I think if things were that different, our paths would have crossed a hundred, no, a thousand different times.”
Crossed but never intersected. Shouto hated his what if game now. He swore he would never think another what if for as long as he lived.
Izuku’s grip on his hand tightened. “I don’t know when we would have ended up meeting but it would happen, one way or another.”
“How do you know that?”
Izuku smiled, not one of his hero smiles, but a true smile, one that Shouto only ever got to see when they were alone.
“Because we’re connected. Without you, there would be something missing in my life. I wouldn’t know it but there would be. And that would make me keep moving, looking for new things until I’d found you. And once I’d found you? Nothing could keep me away.”
Shouto felt like his face was on fire. Then Izuku’s eyes widened, making Shouto realize he really was on fire, the left side of his face giving off little sparks.
He hurriedly patted the embers away before looking up at Izuku, who was hiding his face.
“It’s okay, you can laugh,” he said dryly.
Izuku shook his head but burst into uncontrollable laughter anyways. “I’m sorry,” he giggled.
“It’s fine,” Shouto pouted.
Izuku giggled again, a glowing smile on his face, looping his arms around Shouto’s neck. “No matter how we’d end up meeting, we will always have fallen in love.”
Shouto should have known Izuku would figure out what he’d really been trying to ask. He was too smart not to realize what Shouto was feeling.
He let the corners of his mouth twitch up. “Always,” he vowed, leaning into Izuku’s chest. Izuku’s arms held him securely as the two laid there comfortably, happy to be in each other’s presence.
Shouto had been right before. A hundred what ifs could come and go, but he would always pick what was happening right here, with Izuku by his side.