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Annabeth wasn’t a morning person, but she’d learned Percy really wasn’t a morning person. If she let him, he’d sleep like a rock straight till noon.
Unfortunately, they both had morning classes. So she got into the swing of getting up first, making coffee, and gently but firmly rousing him.
“Hey, it’s 8:30,” she said, rubbing his arm. “I’m heading out.”
Percy covered his face and yawned. “Jeez. Thanks.”
“There’s coffee in the pot,” she said, standing and grabbing her book bag. “Library later?”
“Yeah. Five?”
“See you then.” She kissed him on his forehead and left, humming to herself.
As she walked, she ran through her to-do list in her head. Class, tutoring, lunch, a few hours of studying, another class, meeting Percy at the library, dinner, working on that paper due next week, passing out. It didn’t leave much time for relaxing, but that was fine. What would she do with time to relax?
She was feeling pretty run-down, but that was college. Right? Everybody ran themselves ragged in college, running on minimal sleep and caffeine and the resilience of their young bodies. (Annabeth ignored how her book bag hung painfully on her bad shoulder.)
At night she crawled into bed and heard the silence of the night with no distractions. This had always driven her slightly nuts living alone, and she’d slept with the TV blaring vapid reality shows just so that her thoughts had to fight through the obnoxious noise. Now, Percy tucked himself against her, his arms around her stomach and his head against her back, and the rhythm of his breathing was enough to get her to sleep.
Sure, her dreams were horrific. But they always had been. And she woke to a safe bed, with Percy sleeping angelically next to her, and she could leave it all behind on her way to class. Normal, college life.
They had made it, Annabeth thought happily, her fingers drumming rapidly on her coffee tumbler. They were safe and normal. Two of her fingernails were bleeding slightly where she’d bitten them down to the quick.
- - -
Percy couldn’t sleep.
This was a new revelation because previously he’d thought he wouldn’t sleep. He hadn’t for a while, staying up playing video games, listening to music, half-heartedly tossing a foam basketball around his dorm until his eyes drooped and he collapsed into his bunk for a few hours before class. But now that he lived with Annabeth, he went to bed at the same time as her, and he tried.
At first, he lay still in the bed next to Annabeth and tried to relax, but his body would not release the tension until he was too physically exhausted to remain awake. And laying there, anxiety building, only fueled his brain to keep running until light trickled through the blinds.
Their third night in the apartment, he knew he couldn’t take it anymore. He held Annabeth until she fell asleep, then he carefully slipped out of bed and into the living room. For a few minutes he perched on their secondhand futon, staring at the blank TV. He didn’t want to play anything with sound. He didn’t want to do anything that might disturb Annabeth. His knee bounced frantically.
He had to move.
He snagged his sweats from the bedroom floor, grabbed his key off the hook, and was out the door. He wasn’t going anywhere, he just had to move.
It became a nightly routine. After the first time, it belatedly occurred to him how worried Annabeth would be if she woke up to his absence, and he guiltily left a note: “went for a walk. love you —P”. But he always returned before she woke, and so the note migrated from his nightstand drawer to his pillow and back to the drawer every night.
Most of New Rome was quiet, empty, and asleep as he walked through the streets of campus and the town, but occasionally he caught a Lar watching him haughtily. He tried to acknowledge them respectfully, but they rolled their eyes as though bored.
Percy didn’t dwell on the judgment. He couldn’t—there was no room for anything in his head except moving. He had to move at all costs. He could not stop for anything. The machine of his body and brain would fall apart if he stopped moving. His mind was empty, his feet were aching dully, he did not so much as slow his pace. He mostly looked down at the pavement as it rhythmically passed under his feet. Sometimes he listened to music. Sometimes he put his headphones on and forgot to play anything.
Long after midnight, when fatigue started to eclipse the need to move, he headed home. Closing the door and replacing the keys as quietly as possible, he slipped out of his sweats and back into bed beside Annabeth, who stirred slightly, feeling his returned weight.
Then he passed out till she woke him, and he pulled himself up into the day.
- - -
October crept in, and with it the nights became chillier. Annabeth curled herself tightly into Percy at night, savoring his warmth as she drifted off.
One night she woke up, shivering slightly, and found him gone. A rumpled note lay on the bed beside her instead: “went for a walk. love you —P”
Annabeth’s mind went fuzzy. She tore back the sheets and jumped out of bed, jamming her shoes on her feet without socks and running out of the apartment in her t-shirt and shorts.
She power-walked through the streets, arms crossed over her chest, wishing she’d grabbed a jacket, her thoughts whirring. Went for a walk? Alone, in the middle of the night? Unarmed? Weapons weren’t allowed in New Rome. Annabeth knew, logically, that this was because they weren’t needed. Percy wasn’t likely to get attacked out here. But what if?
“Percy!” she called out in a hushed yell. “Percy!”
A Lar popped his head out from a darkened coffee shop and scowled at her. “Is the ruckus necessary?”
“Have you seen Percy?” she asked. “He’s a tall guy with black hair—”
“Yeah, obviously,” the Lar said. “He’s on his, oh, maybe fourth lap of the night. Bound to be back around in about seven minutes, unless he’s tired himself out, but that usually doesn’t happen till closer to four.”
Annabeth’s head spun. “Usually?”
“Yeah. Now if you don’t mind, at least the boy keeps it quiet out here. Some of us are trying to enjoy the peace before you rowdy students ruin it again.” The Lar disappeared back inside the coffee shop, leaving Annabeth stunned.
She sat on the stoop, rubbing her bare arms and trying not to panic. Sure enough, after a few minutes Percy came around the corner, his eyes downcast and headphones on. She leapt up and ran to him, throwing her arms around him. Startled, he hugged her back.
“Annabeth?” he said, alarmed. “Why are you out here in pajamas?”
“I didn’t think,” she said. “I saw your note and ran out.” She shivered, clutching him harder.
He pulled back and took off his hoodie, handing it to her. “Gods, I’m sorry. I left the note so you wouldn’t worry if you woke up.”
She put the hoodie on. “How often do you do this?” she asked.
Percy looked away. “I…it’s just good to clear my head.”
“But how often?”
He sighed. “Every night. I can’t sleep. I haven’t been able to sleep for…a long time.”
Annabeth felt like her legs had gone hollow. She took a long, shaky breath. “Oh.”
“But hey,” Percy said, taking her hand, “I bet I could fall asleep now. Let’s head back, okay?”
“Okay,” she said numbly. They walked back in silence, squeezing each other’s hands, until they reached the apartment. Annabeth pulled Percy close to her in bed, but for a while neither of them drifted off. Annabeth wasn’t sure if she had slept at all when her alarm went off.
She went into the kitchen, brewed a pot of coffee, then went back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. She gently swept Percy’s hair out of his eyes and said, “Hey, it’s 8:30. I’m heading out.”
He cracked open his eyes and pulled her hand to his lips. “Library tonight?”
Her breath caught. He looked so gaunt, and his eyes had such dark shadows under them. How hadn’t she noticed? Gods.
She pressed a kiss to his forehead, lingering too long. “Yeah. See you then.”
Annabeth went back to the kitchen to fill her cup and go, but staring at the coffee pot, she found she couldn’t move. Her breath catching oddly in her chest, she sank forward, burying her face in her hands.
She was late to class and to several other things on her to-do list that day.