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“For Father’s sake why are you so gorg- ugh!” Lucifer said to himself while finishing another glass of whisky.
The setting was simple, they were having a party in celebration of redemption working. Charlie wanted to celebrate with everyone this new achievement, and Lucifer suggested it would be a good idea to start introducing this groundbreaking concept to the elite circles of Hell: the Goetia, the Sins, and especially the Overlords. Charlie loved the idea and so the plans for a grand ball were set in motion. The king himself transformed the lobby of the hotel into an elegant ballroom. He reached out to Beelzebub who was more than happy to provide the finest and craziest liquor Hell had to offer. Meanwhile, Charlie and Angel Dust took charge of the decorations and designing the invitations. Vaggie managed the logistics, ensuring that every supplier was coordinated and that all the necessary items arrived on time. Husk helped arrange everything in place, he placed each piece of furniture, hung drapes, and set up the bar, ensuring everything went according to Angel’s and Charlie’s ideas. Nifty, energetic as always, made sure every surface sparkled and that not a single insect dares crossing the hotel. Alastor, not particularly thrilled by the idea of a redemption-themed party, took on the responsibility of distributing the invitations.
And the day of the party arrived. Everyone was dressed to perfection, thanks to Lucifer, who had brought the royal tailor to dress everyone to their liking. The guests began to arrive, and Charlie gave a speech about the hotel to all the royals and overloads. She was a little nervous, but everyone was paying attention to the Princess of Hell. Lucifer was so proud of his little girl that he was prepared to kill anyone who interrupted her, but that was beside the point.
After the announcement, the Princess went upstairs to discuss any doubts or concerns that the higher-ups in Hell might have. She was always accompanied by Lucifer, who stepped in to explain the more complicated matters of balance of power and Hell politics. He knew it would be hard for everyone to get on board, especially the Overlords. Carmilla, the weapons merchant on one side, suggested him, and Charlie attended one of their meetings so they could discuss the soul trade. After two hours of chatter, Lucifer had the fullest agenda he'd had in ten thousand years. It was frankly a headache, but he wanted nothing more than to support Charlie's idea.
He was finally alone at the bar. There was a different bartender tonight, Husk had been given the night off to enjoy the celebration. Lucifer felt better with the change, at least for now, he was tired and did not want to drink and socialize with the cat.
He ordered whisky on the rocks and sat watching the crowd. He was mentally exhausted and just wanted to leave at this point, but he had to stay for the sake of the hotel. He wanted to seem engaged, which he was, but when it came to business, his social energy was running out shockingly rapidly. So he scanned the room once more, trying to find something to distract himself, he was already on his second glass of whisky when he spotted him.
Alastor.
That stupid sinner.
Lucifer hated him; he was so unbearably annoying, always trying to act as if he did more for Charlie than Lucifer ever had as if he were her father. Oh, fuck no! The king thought, that stupid prick knew nothing about parenting. Lucifer seethed with resentment, knowing that while he had been absent and definitely not the best father in recent years, he was still biologically Charlie’s dad. He had rights. Every time that man spoke to Charlie with that condescending tone, as if he understood her better than Lucifer, it made Lucifer’s blood boil.
So no. Fuck Alastor and his stupid smile, and his stupid static and his stupid filter and his-
Wait is he wearing a ponytail?
Lucifer watched the radio demon closely as he spoke to Zestial on the other side of the room, his back to him. Tonight he was wearing a black sequined suit jacket with a matching waistcoat and trousers. The sequins gave his outfit a shimmering, glamorous look. Under the jacket, he wore a white shirt with a high collar. His shirt was complemented by a black tie, which added to his classic and formal appearance. His hair was pulled back into a small ponytail, also tied with a black ribbon.
He looked…
Gorgeous
Lucifer shook his head, looked back at his glass, and ordered another. He felt blood rush to his face and looked back again. Alastor was laughing now, the cannibal Overlord Rosie had joined their conversation and seemed to have told the demon something amusing. His smile wasn't fake or annoying, it was just dazzling under the light.
Oh for fuck's sake, who was he kidding? Over the past few months, he had begun to find the deer man quite charming. Yes, he was annoying, and took every opportunity to insult him, but every now and then their conversations were entertaining. And his voice, oh his voice, could be endearing, especially when the filter was off, Lucifer cherished those moments and even went so far as to annoy the man to the point of his filter glitching, just so he could hear his real voice.
And those fluffy ears! He just wanted to reach out and touch them. How could such a hideous demon have such cute features? And oh, he just had to know, he just HAD to know if Alastor had a tail. It was probably cute and soft, and it probably wagged when the demon got excited. Ah! Did it wag when they fought? Alastor must have enjoyed annoying him! Alastor sure enjoyed pissing him off!
Lucifer sulked at the thought of Alastor's cute deer features as he reached for his fifth glass of whisky. Angels didn't usually get wasted so rapidly, but for this one night only, Lucifer had decided to lessen his tolerance with his abilities. It didn't matter if he got drunk because the event had turned into a real party following Charlie's speech.
Nothing could happen, right?
“Heya there short’ king~ Enjoying the party?” the spider demon asked, interrupting his current thought and sitting on a stool next to him, he was wearing a pink backless strappy satin dress, delicate straps crisscrossed over the shoulders and down the back, creating a sophisticated and provocative look.
“Huh? Yeah yeah! it’s pretty great, just pretty…” he said looking back to where Alastor was standing, now only him and Rosie remained, talking and laughing. Damn it! why couldn’t him and Alastor have a decent conversation and laugh just like that? Lucifer thought while taking another long sip, his cheeks blushing gold.
Angel noticed the way the king was looking at the pair and gasped. Did Lucifer have a crush on Rosie? Sure, the woman was tall, much like his ex-wife, and carried herself with an air of confidence that was hard to ignore. But did he even know her at all? The expression on Lucifer’s face was puzzling, a mix of irritation and contemplation, as if he was trying to shake off a persistent thought.
Now hold on a second.
Was it?
It couldn’t be smiles, couldn’t it?
Oh, the spider needed to know.
“Soooo~ enjoying the view, Luci?” he teased, hoping for the new glass of whisky in the king’s hand to be at least his third. It was his sixth.
“WHAT? NO! I don’t know what you mean I’m not looking at anyone, no, no, no I’m just looking for CHARLIE! Yes, yes I’m making suuuure she is alrighhht!” Lucifer stuttered.
Oh he was so drunk.
“Oh come on short king don’t tell me you have a little crush on the strawberry pimp?”
Lucifer looked at him blushing furiously, he finished his whisky trying to remain as cool and unbothered as possible as he answered.
“ALASTOR? HA! Pfff he is just annoying, a brat, a bothersome and irritating gorgeous piece of shit” Lucifer said without realizing while finishing yet another glass of whisky.
Oh?
Ohohoho
Did the king of Hell just call the radio demon GORGEOUS?
Oh, this could be fun.
“Well if you say sooo~” he said finishing his own drink before excusing himself “I’ll go dance! See you later Luci boy!” and left the king alone again with his own thoughts, looking again over Alastor who was now also talking to his friend Mimzy.
Oh, and Angel got excited. He could play with this. He loved being a matchmaker, and while he knew that approaching Alastor would end in him flying into the nearest wall, he could influence the king's mind through music. The spider dashed to the music booth, shoved the DJ away, and scanned the playlist. He knew that in the king's current state, a song could force him to confess. And Alastor? Oh, he had seen the way he looked at Lucifer, remembering how one night he had caught him tucking shortie under a blanket when he discovered him dozing off on the sofa. He was also making coffee for two now, and only two, Lucifer hadn't noticed, thinking he was stealing the demon's coffee and annoying him. But the spider knew that smiles was only making coffee for himself before the king arrived. He also noticed that Alastor's radio was suddenly playing jazzy love songs and that he was humming them as he worked and cooked.
And now Angel knew that Lucifer liked Alastor too. All they needed was a little push; Lucifer was already crazy drunk and talking nonsense. This song would make him confess; the spider was sure of it.
And the song had to be here somewhere, I mean the artist was still alive, but her music had made it all the way to Hell thanks to her fans and somehow, they always got her music on the day it was released. Angel didn't know what kind of voodoo they were practicing, but damn, the woman was good at conveying strong emotions, which was perfect for this scenario. He worked his way through the tracks until he found her name, and then her millions of songs.
“Agh! Where is it? Why does she have so many albums?!” Angel said in frustration looking through the catalog, until the album cover he was looking for appeared.
"THERE IT IS!" he said excitedly, "Ok, let's see, Ready for it, End Game, I did - nope, not this one, hmmm, Delicate, nope, I mean, the lyrics can set the mood too, but it's too mellow, mellow, where is it..." he said concentrated as if his life depended on it until he found what he was looking for, "Ohohoho, here it is! Hey! Be a doll and play this for me, okay?" the spider said in a flirtatious tone to the DJ, and he did.
The current music became to a half for a second before a vibrant and catchy pop-style tune came through the speakers after a child’s voice began the song by saying “gorgeous”.
You should take it as a compliment
That I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk
Lucifer was surprised by the sudden change, was it Taylor Swift? Oh, he knew that artist, he remembered Charlie had asked him for her latest album just before he and Lilith separated, right before she stopped talking to him. A friend of hers, a sinner, had introduced her to the singer and she became obsessed, so Lucifer did what any devoted father would do and tracked the artist down on earth. She was relatively famous, so it was quite easy, and in one of his many summonses he asked a human to bring him the album in return for whatever they asked. The looks were rather confusing, but he couldn't care less. Long story short, Charlie was happy, and all was well. However, as the event happened so close to Lilith's departure, and in an attempt to reconnect with his daughter, he always got his hands on the artist's new album and sent it to her. Though he also kept a copy for himself, the human had some pretty good music, he had to admit, at least in modern terms, and her latest album? The Tortured Poets Department? Ha! He did not want to talk about that one.
That meant he knew this song, and he knew it pretty well. Reputation was the first album Charlie asked him to buy, and he had it on repeat for a while, just remembering how happy she was and how she was blasting it around the palace day and night. The song was about having a crush on someone and being the victim of unrequited love while in a relationship.
Oh how fucking convenient.
Though he and Lilith were no longer together, that train had sailed a long time ago.
You should think about the consequence
Of your magnetic field bein' a little too strong
Ugh, no, Alastor's magnetic field was just fine, he wasn't attracted by his honest smile when he actually found a joke funny, or how cute he looked when he enjoyed one of Nifty's theatricals from the couch. Or how soft he felt the only time they accidentally bumped into each other after Lucifer slipped trying to argue about the hotel decorations.
Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine
Oh he did need another whisky thank you very much. He approached the bar just to snatch the bottle of whisky from the bartender, drinking directly from it.
You've ruined my life by not bein' mine
Stupid, stupid deer, why was he clouding his mind? This was not the distraction he needed right now. Ugh!
You're so gorgeous
I can't say anything to your face
'Cause look at your face (Gorgeous)
Lucifer glanced once again at the demon. Why, why, why did he have to dress like that today? The audacity of wearing that ponytail! It only highlighted every angle of his face, making his features stand out even more than usual. Damn it, his profile was gorgeous. Lucifer found himself inexplicably irritated, not just by the demon’s striking appearance but by the nagging thought that he couldn’t shake off. It was as if the demon had dressed for the sole purpose of flaunting his attractiveness, and it was working all too well. The more Lucifer tried to ignore it, the more his eyes were drawn to look.
And I'm so furious
At you for makin' me feel this way
But what can I say? You're gorgeous
Ugh! That stupid deer! What was so special about him, anyway? He tried to reason with himself and figure out why the sinner was so attractive to him. Was he seriously that lonely he was ready to cling to the first fool that happened to glance at him? Was he really that in need of a little love?
You should take it as a compliment
That I'm talkin' to everyone here but you (But you, but you)
Oh, he should! Alastor had not said a word to him after they had discussed the guest list. That was ONE WEEK ago! The stupid man deer had avoided him for a whole week! The audacity of the lowly sinner not to speak to his king. Ok, yeah no that was going too far, he wouldn't demand that Alastor speak to him, but still! What had got into him this past week!?
And then he noticed someone else was now in their little circle.
Excuse me?!
If you've got a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her
But if you're single, that's honestly worse
'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts (Honey, it hurts)
The TV demon, Box or whatever, was now in the middle of Alastor's group, smiling smugly at the radio demon, making flirtatious faces and even having the audacity to blow a kiss at the man. Alastor just stared at him, unresponsive but interacting, nonetheless.
Wait did he liked that square head? They had a rivalry, right? Nothing else right? Lucifer finished the bottle in his hand and went for seconds if we can call it that by this point.
You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah
There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have and
Guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats (yeugh)
Yeah, Taylor, you know what? Yeah. He would rather go back to his room with his wonderful collection of rubber ducks than spend yet another second here watching the beautiful, gorgeous, and wonderfully tall radio demon flirt with someone right in front of him. This was now just a party and Charlie would be fine, yes. He grabbed another bottle for his room and turned to look at the deer one last time.
Now what the fuck?!
Vox was crowding over Alastor, clearly drunk from his odd posture, and invading more and more of the radio demon's personal space. Alastor watched him with annoyed eyes, but he also looked... uncomfortable. And then Vox leaned in for a kiss, and that scared the other demon. Alastor's eyes moved frantically as his hands began to push the demon away. Why was he so calm? Oh, right, he was trying not to cause a scene. He had promised Charlie earlier that there would be no fighting tonight; Lucifer had promised just the same.
But oh heaven’s no! This was absolutely out of fucking limits.
Lucifer walked furiously across the room to the group. He stepped between the demons, completely separating them.
"What in the UNHOLY HELL do you think you're doing?" he said, pointing a finger at Vox, his sclera turning red and horns protruding from his head.
The TV demon looked at him in confusion, but immediately became angry and cracked the glass in his hand.
“This is none of your fucking business your majesty!” Vox spat, his face glitching.
“You’re making him uncomfortable asshole!” Lucifer growled lowly, he wasn’t having any of this.
Alastor watched the scene in confusion, his head tilted and his left eye twitching. Why had Lucifer appeared out of nowhere? Was it too obvious that he was uncomfortable? Vox was clearly drunk and desperate for a kiss; he was about to use his shadows and disappear but the king got in the way and now he was perplexed. He didn't need a knight in shining armor, but damn, that was hot. He felt his tail start to wag happily, ugh! It was probably the alcohol, he had Beelzejuice for the first time today and his head felt dizzy. He wasn't even sure if the scenario in front of him was real.
"Oh, please! I wasn't, I was just claiming what was rightfully mine! Which is NONE of your damn business," Vox said, light flickering and swirling in his eyes.
Was he seriously trying to use his hypnosis powers? On the King of Hell? How delusional.
"YOU WILL RESPECT YOUR KING YOU BRAIN SCRAMBLING PIECE OF SHIT," Lucifer shouted, spreading his six wings and his serpent forming a halo over his head, lighting the hellfire above.
Vox fell to the ground and groaned; the king towered over him and of course, his powers were useless against the monarch. Vox clicked his tongue, but then he grinned.
"HEY ALASTOR!" Vox shouted, "I didn't know you were someone's pet!" he snapped.
Alastor instantly teleported in front of Lucifer, eldritch symbols dancing around him and his neck cracking as he leaned toward Vox.
"I'm nobody's pet, old pal," he said between radio waves, "This is a royal occasion, and you should behave as such, but apparently your little unwired brain can't even do that."
"Yeah! Just because he's gorgeous doesn't give you the right to fucking harass him!" Lucifer exclaimed.
A what now?
Alastor's brain short-circuited at the remark, his cheeks burning at the thought of what Lucifer had just called him. Pulling out one of his tentacles, he grabbed Vox by the leg and threw him through the nearest open window, the demon's shadow disappearing in the distance.
He turned to find Lucifer still angry and ready to fight, apparently unaware of what he'd just spat in front of a crowd. Rosie stood behind him with a hand to her mouth, laughing softly, and when she noticed Alastor looking back, she just raised her other hand with a shrug, "I told you so," she signaled.
Nope!
"Wait, where did that stupid T-agh!" Lucifer said as he realized, but then Alastor scooped him up and pulled him over his shoulder like a child, disappearing into his shadow.
The crowd around them looked confused, the party was so loud that only those around them could hear it.
"Ha! That worked better than expected, they're definitely boning now!" Angel shouted happily, appearing next to Rosie.
"Oh? And how did you do that?" the cannibal raised a concerned eyebrow, she hoped for his sake that he wasn't referring to the TV demon's transgression.
"I just put on some music, ya know? To make our little king realize his feelings for Al over here. Yeah, I didn't expect Vox to contribute by being an asshole, but HEY! Did you hear the king?!" He raised a glass to the air excitedly, "He called talk dark and creepy GORGEOUS! Haha!" The spider demon laughed and took a sip of his drink.
Rosie sighed with relief, "Well dear, I hope Al is being honest with the king, I have told him many times to communicate his feelings!" she said in a motherly manner. Angel chuckled at the remark.
"Yeah, I hope they do more than just talk, ya know?" Angel replied with a wink, finishing his glass and placing it on a server's tray, "Well! My work here is done! Now it's time to dance! HEY WHISKERS!" the spider said, walking away and towards a very unamused Husk.
Rosie chuckled, she knew her best friend wasn't into all that, but he had a crush on the King of Hell and hey, it seemed to be mutual! She just hoped that her friend had taken her advice and started talking to the monarch instead of avoiding him altogether.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
Alastor reappeared with Lucifer in the garden, away from the party, and set him down.
"Hey, hey, what was that! And where is that Box?! I wasn't done with him-agh!" Lucifer said but was cut off by Alastor grabbing him by the collar and kissing him furiously. The king's head began to spin at the sudden touch, and he was about to lean into it when the deer let go and looked away, his arms crossed but one hand covering his mouth, his face as red as his hair.
He was astonished. Had Alastor just kissed him? Did Alastor... like him? Nah it was the spurt of the moment. The angel started to overthink and then realized that he still had the bottle of whisky in his hand. Yeah, that would help. He took a big, long sip.
“Thank you…” the radio demon suddenly said, snapping Lucifer from his millions of thoughts.
“Ahaha it was nothing really! You okay though?” the king asked.
"Yeah, that stupid picture box just doesn't know when to stop, I'm used to it," he confessed, but he'd just kissed the angel and Lucifer had nothing to say back? Ok, rude, Rosie wasn't right then.
"Again, I understand why he likes you, who wouldn't? You're just so pretty, your ears and your cute eyes, I always wondered if you had a fluffy tail..." he deflected, "But! That is no excuse for overstepping your boundaries," Lucifer said without thinking. Again.
"Lucifeeeer!!" Alastor screamed furiously, making fists with his hands, his face flushed and his tail wagging madly.
"What?" the angel said, not realizing his full confession.
Alastor slapped his face with his palms and took another deep breath.
"My king... I just kissed you and you keep... saying things... are you all, right? Do you have any thoughts? Opinions on the matter in that bird brain of yours?"
Lucifer's face lit up. Oh wait, he liked him? It wasn't just a drunken reaction? Oh? Oh!
He clapped his hands together, "Wait, you like me? Really, really?" he said, jumping up and down like an excited puppy.
Oh well, Charlie was definitely his daughter all right
"No, your majesty, I only kissed you because I thought it would be entertaining," Alastor teased ironically.
"Oh, I see…," Lucifer deflated at the statement. The man was so drunk, that his mood changed like someone was flicking up a light.
Oh, for all things unholy, Alastor rolled his eyes.
"Yes, Lucifer, damn it! Yes, I. Like. You.” He paused at each word “For God's sake, are you so drunk you can't process simple information?”
To the realization the angel leaped into the deer's arms, giggling madly. Was this how he looked in heaven? His smile was so pure and sweet, his eyes sparkling like stars. Oh, Alastor had it bad for the angel. And he was smiling like that for him? Oh dear.
Lucifer wrapped his arms around his shoulders and planted small, quick kisses on his face. Alastor could only blush at the gesture.
"Oh Al, you should have told me you like meeeee~" Lucifer teased, grinning.
"You idiotic angel," Alastor said, ignoring his question, "I'm going to take you to your room, you are in no condition to go back to that party," he said, starting to walk towards one of the back doors of the hotel, one that led to the floor of the rooms and away from the party.
“Oh come oooon. Just tell meeee~” the king continues teasing as they strolled through the garden.
“I didn’t know if you had the same feelings, so you know. Better to get rid of them than waste my time” Alastor gave Lucifer his traditional grin, as if he hadn’t been desperate enough to know if the king liked him to the point of deciding to ignore his ass and complain to Rosie about his incessant but cute attitude.
"Oh, you! My adorable fawn," the king pinched both of Alastor's cheeks, causing the demon to snarl furiously and stop in his tracks.
"Call me that again, Lucifer, and I will have you thrown off the nearest building," Alastor said, a green tinge emerging from his back.
Lucifer chuckled.
"Okaaaay, but what about baby, honey, loveeeee? Ohhh what about gorgeous, goooorgeous~?" Lucifer said happily into Alastor's ear.
The deer turned as red as his hair and tried to hide his face by looking away.
"I think... I can agree to that," he whispered, "But if you ever call me that outside of our privacy, I will push you against the nearest wall."
"Oooh, I could get into that~" Lucifer teased, smiling in a low, raspy voice as he ran his finger along Alastor's neck.
"Lucifer!" Alastor growled between his teeth, he was angry but oh was he excited by the idea, his tail wagging happily behind him.
"Got it, gorgeous! No pet names outside our bedroom," the angel said, sticking out his tongue.
"Just shut up, please," Alastor shook his head, but the blush never left his face, now what the hell did the king mean by their room? Stupid, stupid, insolent angel.
The radio demon walked on with the angel in his arms, through the door and up the stairs to the corridors. Alastor then took the nearest lift to the floor where their respective rooms were. Inside, Lucifer planted another couple of giggling kisses on his neck and lips, Alastor tried his best to keep his composure, he did not want anyone to see them like this.
Embarrassing.
The elevator stopped and he continued on, heading for Lucifer's room. And then the king began to hum a happy tune, rocking his head from side to side in Alastor's arms.
"Hehe truth, dare, spin bottles - You know how to murder, I know Aristotleeee tarara, bran neew lalala," Lucifer started singing, swinging his legs excitedly in the demon's arms.
"What in the unholy hell, Lucifer?" Alastor laughed, what was Lucifer singing?
"Are you gonna marry, kiss or kill meeee?" the angel continued to sing, wrapping his arms around his deer. Alastor froze, his left eye began to twitch, and his face flushed harder at the sudden strange question.
"It's too soon to even think about the first one, silly angel," Alastor said, "As for the other two, how about both of them?" he teased.
Lucifer just giggled and swung one arm, "You already now, babeeee," he sang, moving his face closer to the demon. Alastor gave him a quick peck, which made Lucifer snort once.
They both entered the king's room and closed the door behind them.
Oh, what a night.