Chapter Text
Keys jingle in Laudna’s shaky fingers as she struggles at the entrance to her apartment, briefly pausing to let a fellow resident pass by and continue further down the hall before finally grasping the right key and swinging the door open at last.
Weary legs manage to carry her to the couch before she slumps down, face full of pillows and blankets.
Today’s service was… difficult.
Not due to the organizers, who happened to be the widow of the deceased and her close friend, both of whom Laudna had been exchanging correspondence with for the past few weeks.
They had been friendly and polite. Detached, if anything. Worryingly so. And considering the situation, it made perfect sense. But Laudna never judges how people manage their grief, as there’s no right way to handle the passing of a loved one.
No, the problems arose sometime after the memorial slide-show and before the refreshments.
She hears it just out of her periphery as the guests filter out in twos, leaving the grieving widow collapsed over the casket in unfiltered agony. The stony mask fixed in place throughout the service long since crumbled to pieces, having been pushed beyond its limit.
It comes in the form of a snide whisper from the last remaining guest to another. I bet she’s the one that did him in. It’s all an act.
And the rest is a blur.
And her boss’s hand is on her shoulder, guiding her to the side room and gently whispering that maybe it’s time for a vacation, and the best thing she can do is nod. She’s not looking forward to the quiet, but at least her employer has the good sense to pay her for it.
Her journey home in a fugue state has her doing a little “mental cleanup,” as she’s learned to call it, where she neatly packs everything into their own little box before shoving them aside with practiced ease.
Some parts are scattered about. Mostly mundane but they tend to pile up if not dealt with.
There’s a little section for her childhood, of a little boy throwing dirt clods and learning the definition of otherness. However, this one she keeps near a similar little boy—except now she’s grown, and this boy lost his parents, but he smiles when she brings out Paté to do silly dances in the firelight. She keeps them together as a reminder that children are trying their best in a scary world, and she’s responsible for teaching them that sometimes scary isn’t bad. That sometimes, it can even be fun.
There’s also a corner for the big things with shadows that loom over everything, and they aren’t just scary but also too much, so she keeps them padlocked and abandoned to collect dust.
But now, in an apartment with too many empty spaces for her liking yet somehow still stifling, the boxes fill and overflow and tumble on their sides—so she clutches a pillow close, pretending it doesn’t shudder to the rhythm of her chest along with the burning behind her eyes, all the while ignoring the tears that drip and stain blankets freshly softened from the dryer.
Laudna has been familiar with loss from a very young age, understanding on a fundamental level how it changes those left behind for the rest of their lives—more specifically, how it’s changed her. Although her personal social skills could use some work, her patience and empathy in the face of grief is why she’s so good at her job.
The dead have kept her company for as long as she can remember. The living, on the other hand…
Well, their cruelty often cuts deeper.
There’s flashes of flame on asphalt and a grotesque creaking of metal against metal. Screams that sound eerily like her own.
Dead. Gone.
A house with a red door and white picketed fence now haunted with echoes of what could have been.
Then a voice, a distant memory, that settles cold and poisonous in her chest. Don’t worry, dear. I’ll take care of you.
She jumps as her phone vibrates on the seat. Reaching out a clumsy hand for it, she squints at the screen through the teary blurriness.
yo, you around?
Trembling fingers tap out a reply.
Hllo As
Delete.
Hellp
Delete.
She breathes a shuddering breath in, holds it for three seconds, then slowly lets it out.
Hello Ashton. Yes, I’m home.
weird, didnt think youd actually reply this early. but anyway, we’re gonna queue up today if u wanna join
She sniffles, blinking the wetness from her eyes.
Sure, I’ll be online in a few minutes.
no rush, orym’s still taking care of some stuff
A few moments pass before:
you ok?
Laudna sucks in a sharp breath before hastily typing.
Yes. Why do you ask?
we’ve known each other for a while now. call it a hunch.
I’m okay, Ashton. Really.
…if you say so. im here to listen if you wanna talk about it.
On the contrary, a distraction sounds perfect.
distraction? yea we can manage that
But… thank you.
anytime
Laudna takes a moment to gather herself—clearing her throat and rubbing at the now-dried tear tracks—before pushing off the couch, a handmade fleece blanket draped around her shoulders that lightly drags over the carpet.
The apartment remains as dark as it was when she left for work that morning, with the exception of the mid-afternoon sunbeams creeping through the gaps in the blinds. It’s an odd feeling, gaming with her friends in the middle of the day when she should be at work. But if she’s got time to kill with nothing else to do, she might as well get used to it.
Paté greets her at her desk, his palm-sized, needle-worked form slumped against the base of her monitor and looking every bit adorable as always. So she gives him a little pat for good luck and a kiss to his head before booting up her computer.
“Hey, remember that thing we said we’d do?” Ashton’s gravelly voice quips over the mic, as their team pushes in to secure the objective.
One of their teammates, a quiet healer who hasn’t so much as typed in chat yet receptive to collaborating with everyone, waves hello before sitting on the point they need to capture. A progress bar on the top of the screen ticks away while Laudna’s character grapples to high ground and scouts ahead, staring down the main corridor through a sniper scope, positioning the cross-hair perfectly at head height where she knows the enemy will likely appear.
They’ve got some downtime while the other team respawns, so Laudna sits back and breathes deep, allowing her eyelids to slide shut just for a moment.
Deep breath in… and out.
In… and out, until the adrenaline-induced tremors wracking her hands subside, and she knows her aim will be true. Just like she’s practiced.
There’s nothing quite like the joy of working as a team to accomplish a goal and the rush of success that fills her veins when she does particularly well. She’s on a high and loath to come down.
She’s in her comfort zone here, with the warm voices of her friends in her ear, knowing they’ll watch her back and she’ll watch theirs.
“Yeah, the uh,” responds Orym absentmindedly, ruffling with something unseen on his end. “Getting a team together, right?”
“Yeah. We still doing it?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Good, ‘cause we’re pretty fucking incredible at this game.”
Laudna’s lips curl into a toothy grin. “Are you planning to be a professional gamer, Ashton?”
“Fuck no, I’d last five minutes.”
“I don’t know about that,” she muses, adjusting the grip on her mouse and straightening her back. Someone will turn the corner any second now. “You can definitely hold your own against the other top-ranked players in the country. Why, we’re playing against one right now.”
“It doesn’t count when the rest of their team needs to be carried.”
“Now, now. No need to be hurtful.” Just as she says that, the enemy sniper foolishly peeks their head out ahead of their team, only to be met by the business end of Laudna’s rifle. Ashton lets out a snort as if to say told you so. She tsks. “That was a lucky shot.”
“But anyway,” Ashton continues, “I know someone who can coach us once we find more players.”
Orym sighs. “Don’t tell me it’s that W0lf guy again.”
“That’s the one.”
“Weren’t you ranting about beating him in a duel two nights ago?”
“I can kick his ass mechanically at any character, but he’s got way better game sense in team play. Just trust me, man.”
The three of them have been tossing the idea around for the past few months but always seem to put it off for some reason or another. Early on, they tried bringing another damage dealer into their group only for him to spout the worst sexist drivel Laudna’s ever heard in her life. Another time, they found a healer who seemed promising, but their schedule was too erratic to organize practice sessions around.
After that, Ashton started a new job and could only meet up on Saturdays until recently, and Orym hasn’t been around as much since meeting his new partner, Dorian.
Laudna doesn’t believe in luck, but even she has to admit the stars haven’t been aligning for this “team” thing. But if they’re able to pull it off one day, having new people around might not be too bad.
They play a few more with two wins and a loss under their belt, before they’re queued into Laudna’s favorite map. It’s practically made for snipers—long sight lines and sneaky perches.
But what catches her eye is the first message of the game from the enemy team.
Mogen: glhf <3
Laudna smiles at the heart. It’s not often people start the game with such positivity, and something compels her to mirror it.
FunScary: Good luck, have fun! <3
Mogen: :)
FunScary: May the best team win.
toxinTTV: wholesome vibes? In MY video game??
feyfaun: it’s more likely than you think ;)
f3mboy: im muting all of you
Ashton chortles at that. “Sounds like someone had a shit day.”
But Laudna’s focus is on this “Mogen,” the opposing damage dealer. Looking at their profile, they have quite a wide variety of characters with equal amounts of play time, unlike Laudna’s blatant preference for snipers.
It’s likely Laudna will have to face one of her counters right out of the gate, which will be annoying to manage but not impossible. There’s no telling what this Mogen will pull out of their repertoire, and the prospect of her first real challenge today has her leg jumping beneath the desk.
But Laudna doesn’t know how real that challenge is until she grapples into the air for a cheeky pick on an unsuspecting enemy—before she immediately gets shot down, plucked out of the sky with terrifying precision.
She blinks—impressed and, if she’s honest, more than a little flustered.
Not only did they refuse to play one of her direct counters; they picked the same character Laudna has the most practice on.
Shaking herself out of it, she types:
FunScary: Nice shot!
Mogen: ty!
Noting the angle the other sniper must have taken, Laudna tries a different approach this time and goes on the flank. She moves slowly behind cover, listening for the telltale pop of a sniper rifle to determine their exact position.
Bang! In a flash, Orym’s out and sent to spawn. But with that confirmation, Laudna takes a steadying breath and peeks around the corner. Still undetected, she levels the cross-hair over the sniper’s head.
And with one shot, they’re down for the count.
Mogen: damn! you’re sneaky
FunScary: ♥♥♥
toxinTTV: yo get a room already
feyfaun: can I join?
The rest of the game goes similarly. One of them gets a good shot, while the other retaliates. Between snipers of equal mechanical skill, it becomes more of a mind game—predicting what the other will do and getting the drop on them in order to wreak havoc on their team uncontested.
What gives her the edge in this circumstance, however, is her cumulative experience for these specific situations. This Mogen is good—incredible, really—but they don’t have the same familiarity for these kinds of duels. And Laudna is made for this.
To Laudna, it’s a dance engraved in her bones she’s spent hundreds of hours chiseling away at, refining and perfecting her craft and forging herself to be the best she can be. But to find a partner who matches her movements so effortlessly, it feels like fate.
For this moment, there’s only the two of them. Her hands are steady, and her mind is focused, and the ghosts are quiet, locked away for another day.
Laudna comes out on top with a score of a whopping 38 kills to Mogen’s 31, just as Orym walks the payload in to win them the game.
Mogen: ggs!
FunScary: Good game!
feyfaun: gg :)
toxinTTV: you guys know we lost right
“Shit, Laud, that 3k you got off the flank was dirty,” says Ashton as they’re all brought back to the menu. “And that 360 grapple shot you got on the other sniper for the endgame highlight? Now you’re just showing off.”
Orym speaks up as well. “Definitely on top of your game tonight. Almost as if that ‘Mogen’ brought out another side of you we haven’t seen in a while.”
“Yes, well,” she says, cheeks hurting from smiling so much throughout the entire match. “There’s just something about them. They were giving it their all, so I felt the need to respond in kind.”
1 new friend request.
Laudna’s heart nearly jumps out of her chest. She’s never clicked “accept” on something so fast in her life.
Mogen is typing…
1 notification.
hi! hope this is ok. just wanted to say you did a great job last game.
Laudna’s fingers fumble a little as she replies, still hyped up on adrenaline.
It’s more th
Delete.
Yes, of course, I
Delete.
You did great as well!
thanks :)
We should try playing together sometime. If you’re interested.
I was a bit nervous to ask but yeah I’m down!
And…
mhm?
I hope this isn’t too forward, but would you want to join a group chat with my friends and I? I was playing with our support and tank in a group.
sounds good ^^ is it okay if I invite my friend as well? she was the support on our side
That’d be perfect! Then we’ll have a full team!
\o/
“Laud?” Ashton calls out. “You still there?”
Blinking, she clears her throat, her eyes still glued to the chat log. “Yes! Yes, sorry. What were you saying, Ashton?”
“I asked how you’re doing. Sounded like you had quite a day, if I’m gonna be honest.”
“It’s been amazing!” Laudna smiles and pulls the fleece blanket tighter around her bony shoulders. There’s a giddiness she can’t explain, and all she can think about is the possibility of playing with this Mogen again. “Just brilliant. What a day.”
“Right…” Ashton lets out a huff, unconvinced. “Didn’t sound like it earlier.”
“Well, it does sound like you’re feeling a little better now,” Orym chimes in.
“Oh, I’m feeling incredible! And if things keep going as well as they’ve been…” Laudna pauses, her heart thumping in her ears as she sends an invite link in the chat. “I think I may have found us two potential recruits.”