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'What the fuck is that?' Litty demanded.
'Exactly! Like, ew, sorry to tell you this, but that is the biggest eyesore I've ever fucking seen.' Kingham dry heaved for effect before craning his neck back and looking right at Niko through the glass of the jar, squinting before adding derisively, 'And I look at your face all day, so that's really saying something.'
'Grotsky little biatch.' Litty laughed.
'Maybe letting these two watch Mean Girls was a mistake.' Niko observed, looking more than a little hurt.
'Are you kidding?' Crystal murmured, 'The mean girls could take notes from these two. Just...' pinching the bridge of her nose, Crystal waves at the aforementioned eyesore, '... get in the damn terrarium, both of you,' she demanded, her patience running thin already, 'Niko did a lot of work to make this transition comfortable for you two. Least you could do is...'
Crystal stared blankly at the two ascerbic creatures for a moment, '...I was going to say you could at least be grateful, but I forgot who I was talking to. You could at least make it as smooth as possible.'
It had been a huge undertaking. They'd found the massive thing abandoned on the side of the road, mutually agreed to never mention to the Sprites its origin, then hauled the almost three-foot wide glass tank back to the Tongue & Tail and then up the stairs, giving it a thorough cleaning and sterilisation in the bathroom before fitting it out with doll house furniture, which Crystal used her shiny new credit cards for. They then customised the tiny furniture with memory foam for the bedding and cushioning, at Niko's insistence, so the sprites would be actually comfortable.
Edwin had scoffed and expressed his lack of understanding the lengths gone to for such unpleasant creatures; Charles had echoed this viewpoint but had been absolutely tickled pink by the springiness of the tiny mattresses. He had beamed up at Edwin when he poked the memory foam bedding and watched it swallow up his index finger and then rise back into shape once said finger ceased poking. Edwin had rolled his eyes, but couldn't hide his enjoyment at the delight on Charles' face.
Not that memory foam would do much to make up for the stick up each of the sprite's asses, which Crystal had been unable to help from pointing out.
Edwin had actually cracked a smile at that.
'It's much roomier,' Niko said encouragingly, 'And you can be so much more comfortable and now have more things to do. Look, Crystal even set up a smartphone rig by the sofas so you can both watch movies and tv!'
Kingham carried on griping as if she hadn't spoken, 'If you're going to start charging people admission to come in and gawk at us, could you at least do better than the Sylvanian fucking Families playset?'
'Right?' Litty cackled.
'Hey!' Crystal snapped, her temper rising, breath fogging up the glass of the jar as the Sprites chortled, 'You know what most people would have done with you? You know what someone like me probably would have done with you both?'
'Sprayed us with spit, evidently.' Litty waved a hand in front of her face, grimacing in disgust.
Crystal smiled brightly, 'I was gonna say the garbage disposal.'
The Sprites gasped dramatically at the same time Niko did, and clutched at each other.
'Hold me, Kingham!'
'I know, Litty, it's okay, I'm here!'
'Does that stupid brick play music too?' Litty sniffled, 'I'd like to request 'My Heart Will Go On'!'
'Do we have an understanding?' Crystal raised her eyebrows.
'Yes, yes, put us in the budget Children's Fair exhibition box!' Kingham straightened his hat, and let Litty blow her nose on his sleeve, 'Let down the silk rope ladder into our new digs and we shall make the journey, even if said new digs are as sad and ugly as your face.'
Crystal's patience ran out, and her fake smile dropped. The Sprites took a step back at her stony-faced expression.
Niko, who was clinging to her arm with her chin on Crystal's shoulder, could sense the change and tugged at her sleeve, 'Crystal, let me do it. It's not personal, they're just lashing out cus they're scared.'
'And I have other things to do rather than listen to this bullshit.' Crystal unscrewed the lid of the jar and upended it over the terrarium, sending the Sprites — followed by the coins and dandelion that would enchant whatever vessel they occupied to hold the two figures and contain their power — plummeting down into a makeshift landing pad, a small round plump cushion about the span of a hand, which had been stuffed with new goosedown, courtesy of Jenny and her connects.
They'd suspected the sprites wouldn't want to go peacefully, and didn't trust that if they let them just climb out of the jar and down into the tank, that they would. But still, they had envisioned a hopefully gentler transfer.
The Sprites were too indignant to speak at first as they climbed on all fours clumsily through the shifting form of the landing cushion, each of them tumbling head over heels to escape it — which gave Niko and Crystal a moment to share a satisfied glance. A glance that then turned into a long look, which made their cheeks flush.
'If you're quite done tormenting tiny little gods and done with whatever little lez moment is going on here...' Litty spread her hands and gestured towards the two of them dismissively, 'We'd like to make a complaint to Amnesty International, yeah...'
Tearing her focus away from Niko, Crystal made a face of mock sympathy, 'Yeah... don't think that'll work, because they fight for human rights, and... you're not human.' Crystal shrugged when the two tiny creatures gaped at her furiously, adding, 'No offence, but you're not.'
'And the hate crime count climbs higher.' Kingham declared, his hat sitting askew on his head.
Litty threw her arms up, 'You know, when we had Too-Much-Toner over here vying for your attention, we only wanted sustenence, I didn't mean to attract a mean lesbian and give her everything she wanted. No accounting for taste, but I guess that's my curse! It's always the mean lesbians! Can't catch a break. First these two and then Miss Side Braid.' Litty crossed her arms.
Crystal rolled her eyes so hard it made her head hurt, 'I don't care enough to unpack any of that. And I'm a mean bisexual, actually. But thanks.'
Crystal dropped a towel over the tank and turned to Niko, 'Did you want to, like, get some lunch? I'm kinda hungry.'
'You're bi?' Niko was flushed pink and twisting her fingers together.
Crystal felt a twinge of worry, 'Yeah, does it matter? Do you wanna get food or not?'
'No, no, I guess it doesn't. Forget I said anything.'
A tiny bitchy voice piped up from the towel-covered terrarium, 'Uhm, yeah, we wish we could forget the fantasies that were flooding her empty brain after she met you in the hallway. Being starved out while also being subjected to gay teenage pining? Being personally victimised by some sad gay crush? That has to constitute torture.'
'Shh!' Niko hissed sharply, which went largely unnoticed.
'...Kingham, do you think it's a 1300 number to reach them or-'
Eyebrows drawn together in confusion, Crystal stammered, 'Uhh- did- did she just say-'
'Nothing!' Niko blurted out, 'It's not important!'
'Niko, are you uncomfortable with,' Crystal licked her lips, could feel her heart hammering in her chest, 'With me, or just with this situation?'
Niko looked down, 'The situation...' she mumbled.
'If you don't want to talk about it, I'll respect that. But you need to know that I, uh-' Crystal shifted from foot to foot and rubbed the back of her neck, 'I really like you. I have, like- like ever since I saw you for the first time.'
'You did- you do?' Niko's voice was so small, she could almost pass for a Sprite at her current volume. She looked up, tears shining in her eyes.
'Yeah,' Crystal smiled nervously, 'And you just said hi, all you said was fucking hi, and I was gone on you. Then those two jokers started playing with their colourful secretions and kicked that up to 11. And then you had to go and say you liked my jacket-'
Crystal covered her face, muffling her voice now that she was talking into her hands.
'God, It was hard enough trying to act normal around you when I was crushing so hard, but when the Sprites turn their glowing shit up that high, it makes you wanna do stupid crazy things.'
'The sprites didn't make me say things, though!' Niko forced out, surprising Crystal enough to emerge from behind her hands; Niko looked quite surprised at herself too before she went on, 'They could puppet me around to where other people were and turn on the light show thing but... I was the one listening at the bathroom door before I fainted. They didn't send me there. I wanted to try to find the courage to talk to you but I couldn't, I was so shy.'
The Sprites could be heard giggling from under the towel.
'Okay, Baby Reindeer!' Kingham called.
The tears that had been welling up now spilled over and down Niko's cheeks as she fiddled with her silver hair, 'And I was feeling so drained all the time and wasn't eating, I wasn't acting right. I think that if I'd been feeling better, I would have been able to talk to you, maybe. I think.'
'It's okay,' Crystal reached out and took Niko's hand, then the other one, knowing that her own palms were starting to sweat — she was sweltering from the nerves even while just in jeans and a t-shirt, 'Those two little assholes did a lot wrong, but they also gave me a reason to talk to you. And they're the reason you know Charles and Edwin. Yeah? I don't usually subscribe to the belief that absolutely everything happens for a reason but-'
She squeezed Niko's hands softly, and Niko hiccuped, her face red from crying, and from the attention, and Crystal continued, butterflies in her tummy.
'...This time it did work out in a really interesting way. Who's to say you wouldn't have come to talk to me? I know I was hanging out for a chance to see and speak to you that had nothing to do with your case.'
'You were?' Niko sniffled, a smile breaking through the tears.
'Yeah,' Crystal nodded, squeezing her hands and gently pulling her closer, 'I love having you as a friend. I just didn't want you to be uncomfortable knowing I liked you. Didn't want to make it weird.'
'It's not weird,' Niko shook her head, the braids hanging amid the rest of her loose hair nearly smacking her in the face with how vehement her movements were, 'I've never, uh- had a girlfriend. Never experienced much of anything. A lot of people make me uncomfortable for a lot of reasons. The way they look at me, and the way they treat me.'
Crystal nodded.
'But you, you never made me uncomfortable. Nervous, maybe.' Niko smiled shyly.
'Yeah, I picked up on that a bit. You never did take that shower that you ran from me to go have, did you?' Crystal grinned as Niko giggled.
There was a chorus of tiny 'ew's from the terrarium.
Crystal didn't even bat an eye when she shot back with, 'Keep that up, I'll stream 'The Borrowers' into your home. Modern day horror for tiny little guys like you.'
There were stifled cries of terror from the Sprites, who then fell silent.
Crystal kept hold of one of Niko's hands but pulled her over to the door to leave, 'You want some lunch?'
'Mm-hmm,' Niko nodded excitedly.
'It can be a lunch... date? If you like.'
Niko bit her lip to stifle the squeal that erupted at Crystal's words, and failed. She covered her mouth, then pulled her hand down to her chin to whisper across her knuckles, 'Like a date-date?'
'Yeah,' Crystal laughed, 'A date-date. Nothing formal, but if you'd like that kind of thing, I can-'
Niko swooped forward and pressed her lips to Crystal's cheek, derailing her train of thought.
'Restaurants make me nervous,' she breathed, 'So, not for now. But small things, those I like.'
Crystal smiled, 'Whatever you'd like.'
And led her by the hand out of the apartment door.