Work Text:
Joo Jaekyung was very attractive, which meant he got a lot of attention from the opposite gender. His friends would call him lucky, saying he had so many options. He could cheat and the girls would forgive him.
He thought he was lucky, too. He’d date three girls at once, and they all came crawling back once they found out they weren’t the only one. He never really felt anything for them, or anyone for that matter.
That was until he met Kim Dan, one of the prettiest boys he’d seen. He had no idea why he blushed and smiled uncontrollably with Kim Dan, why he wanted to touch him any chance he got.
One weekend night, Joo Jaekyungs’ parents were arguing, as they always did at night. He texted Dan and ended up going to his house. They played video games until they finally decided to get ready for bed.
They were playing around, Jaekyung taking something from Dan and making him jump up for it. He got a rush of confidence and kissed him, and Kim Dan returned the kiss. Once they finished, they were both a smiling and blushing mess.
In the morning, Joo Jaekyung finally realized what happened last night. He immediately gathered his stuff, making sure not to wake Dan, who was still sleeping. He walked to his house and locked himself in his room, starting to feel disgust in himself.
He didn’t exactly know why he felt that way.
Was it because he kissed a boy or because he finally realized why he never had feelings for girls?
He planned to avoid Kim Dan for a day or two until he finally got himself sorted out. Then he’d decide what to do, if he’d date a boy and risk bullying and getting disowned, or if he’d make Kim Dan wait until they were adults.
Those two days slowly turned into weeks, and they no longer texted or called daily. Jaekyung didn’t even glance at Kim Dan, though he still felt an ache in his heart. Kim Dan would still try to talk to him to no avail.
Every time one of Jaekyungs’ friends even mentioned gay people, he’d get violent and say they didn’t deserve rights, much less to live. He had turned into a horrible person.
Maybe it wasn’t his fault. His parents had imprinted the idea that liking his own gender was not okay, and that nobody would hesitate to hurt him if he liked boys. It hurt to leave Dan alone, but it would hurt him more if he stayed.
***********************************************
It’s been 14 years since then. Joo Jaekyung has just learned to accept himself two years ago. He no longer talks to his parents and cuts off negative energy immediately.
He hasn’t had luck finding anyone, though. Everyone leaves either because of his personality or because he pushes them away. He doesn’t know why he does it.
He’s at the store, buying some groceries for his gym members, when he hears a familiar laugh. He turns immediately, feeling stupid for still missing him that much. It doesn’t take him long to locate him, still as beautiful as the day they stopped talking.
He’s in the baking part of the store, standing next to a guy, their hands interlocked. They move over a little, and he sees a child with them, about four years old. Jaekyung feels his heart drop.
He tries to tell himself that they might be cousins, making a cake for a family member. He realizes he is wrong when they move further down the aisle and they kiss. Dan looks happy, happier than when they were younger.
He feels regret. He imagines himself and Dan there instead, celebrating their anniversary. If only he hadn’t been such a coward, running away from the only person who knew the real him.
He wants to say something, but he notices how they look at each other. He doesn’t want to cause Kim Dan sadness again. So instead of getting closer, he walks away. He’ll buy groceries from somewhere else.
He feels comfort, knowing Dan feels happiness, even if it isn’t with him.
He knows they’ll somehow meet again, even if it’s not in this universe. He'll have a lot to tell him then.