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Alex padded through the lake house, no one anywhere to be seen. The house was always full of sound, if it wasn’t chatter, it was music. It was never silence. This was uncharacteristically quiet. It was unnerving.
"Guys?" He hollered down corridors. Nothing.
He rounded the corner to the kitchen. There were 3 figures huddled together staring out of the glass back wall.
"What the hell are you-"
A chorus of hisses and shushes came from the group. June shot him a look over her shoulder, flagging him over. With a long-suffering sigh, he huffed over to them all, still sniggering.
"Seriously what are you looking at? Where’s Henr- Oh."
Alex looked out over the expansive backyard.
"Is he?" Alex asked.
"Yep." Came 3 voices in chorus.
Alex dropped his head to one side, unable to fully compute what he was seeing. "Where did he find that?"
"I'd love to know too." June replied.
"Aww bless him." Nora said
Pez just barked a laugh.
The sight that had transfixed the group was almost surreal. There stood Prince Henry of Wales, crosscut saw in hand, attempting to cut logs of wood. Attempting.
Alex was certain he had never seen Henry look incompetent in his life. He was strong. He was co-ordinated. Sure Henry wasn't the most outdoorsy person, but the Royal family had a name for themselves of country pursuits. Hell, they had whole award schemes in their name didn't they? "Duke of Edinburgh Award" was definitely something Alex had heard of, right?
Alex watched in equal parts bemusement, confusion and affection. "He told me he went camping with his mom and dad as a kid. How is he so bad?"
"Come now. There's no way anyone was actually letting him chop wood darling." Pez said, not pulling his attention away from the struggling Henry.
"Except he's not chopping." Nora said.
"Yeah can we all get back to the part where he's making it 10 thousand times more difficult because he's sawing?" June stage whispered.
Henry drove the saw forward through the wood, took a breath and pulled it back. It immediately got jammed, and his whole body jolted making him look bizarrely gangly. He almost lost his footing entirely, only managing to stay upright by pure miracle.
Pez snorted out a breathless laugh and staggered away from the door, utterly unable to watch his best friend embarrass himself further.
"Jesus Christ. No, I have to go and rescue him. This is cruel." Alex said, barely swallowing his own laughter.
Pez grabbed onto his arm and protested through his gleeful tears, but Alex was off.
"Oh go on, let him show off in front of his boyyyfriieennd.” Nora called as he opened the sliding door. He flipped her the bird through the glass as he closed it again and made his way to Henry.
"What you doing baby?" Alex called out as he sauntered through the yard, soft grass warm around his ankles.
Henry stopped mid pull of the saw and panted as he looked up at Alex through his fringe, the tips of his hair stuck together with sweat. "Baking a cake." He said in that beautifully sarcastic way that came so naturally to him.
"Thought so." Alex said, stopping in front of him with his hands on his hips. “Don’t stop on my account.”
Henry took up a stable stance, looking at the rest of the task at hand. He paused, hooking back towards Alex. “I don’t like to be watched.”
“Not what I heard.” Alex retorted, quirking an eyebrow.
Henry shook his head with a smirk, and continued the last few laborious strokes until a baton of wood finally dropped in two.
He pulled the hem of his t-shirt and dried off his brow. Alex didn't even try to avert his gaze from the peek of his sweaty midriff. The sweat glistened off the hairs on his abdomen, shone on the slight squish on his hips above the waistband of his slacks, and Alex could almost feel him under his fingertips… or his tongue. Y’know maybe he could let Henry carry on, just a few more logs. He shook the thought from his mind. "Now I'm not saying you're doing a bad job."
"Good." Henry said quickly.
"But can I help?"
"Why do I feel like I don't get a choice in this scenario?" Henry said, holding out the saw to Alex. It wobbled with a slight ferocity that matched Henry’s exhausted scowl and Alex stepped back instinctively.
"Whoa whoa. Okay Mr Grumpy Gills. You need a time out. Put the weapon down and go sit." Alex demanded pointing to a tree stump a few feet away.
Henry sat with his back to the house, watching and waiting for Alex to show him how it was really done.
Alex held up the saw and waved a hand around it as though presenting an item on a teleshopping channel. “So I appreciate this as a ….. creative choice.” He said brightly hopping away towards a shed behind the tree. He came back having swapped out the tool. “But you’re gonna make your life so much easier if you just use an axe.”
“Do you need me to play Huey Lewis and The News , for this section?” Henry asked, crossing one leg over the other and placing his hands on his knees.
“If anyone is Bateman here, it’s you with your 17 step grooming regime.” Alex said.
“Let’s both be assured that he would kill us both for so many reasons darling.”
Alex took up a position, angled slightly different to Henry’s so he could see into the house. He could just make out beyond the overhang of trees, the three inside, thick as thieves, still huddled and watching the interaction. He picked up a new log of wood placing it on the block. Then he took hold of the axe gripping it tight.
He could sense Henry's eyes on him but he didn't look. Nora was right, he was showing off, of course he was, and what? Sue him. Alex planted his feet, took a deep breath, focused his attention in, swung the axe back and brought it down hard onto the wood.
The baton split with a gratifying thwack. The smell of wood burst into the air.
He still didn't look at Henry, he didn't need to. The tension shift was palpable. As he tidied the freshly chopped pieces he risked a glance at his other audience, who looked like monkeys in a zoo. Pez was pointing towards Henry and screaming, June was pretending to fawn like a fair maiden and Nora was kissing her biceps.
Alex swallowed his grin and pulled another log from the pile, placing it down and once more put his whole force of his body behind the swing of the axe. More fresh firewood flew out to the sides.
He dried off non existent sweat on the back of his forearm, the next move in the woodland floorshow. Out the corner of his eye, Henry shifted in his seat.
"Everything good?" Alex asked with a butter wouldn't melt smile.
Henry had gone bright red. Not in the over-exerted sweaty way he has been moments earlier. If this shade was wall paint, it would probably be called something stupid like “Amorous Aristocracy”. His voice came out ever so slightly strangled, "Very good. You’re very good, at *cough* that."
Oh no don’t give me praise Henry, you give me praise and it's going to end badly for both of us.
“Comes with practice.” Alex said, just before he played a low blow. He set the axe down by the side of the chopping block, reached back at the nape of his neck and pulled his shirt off with one hand. Did he tense his biceps for dramatic effect? He couldn't be sure.
“Oh Jesus.” Henry breathed, looking on the verge of passing out.
“You okay baby? Not looking so good over there.” Alex said tossing his shirt and picking up the axe once more.
Henry shot up and came in close to him. “If you don’t kiss me right now, maybe I will pick up that thing go all British Psycho.”
So for his own safety, Alex did. The intoxicating taste of salt danced on his tongue, as he sucked Henry’s top lip ever so gently into his mouth. But Henry wanted more. He licked in deeper and pushed harder against Alex and a jolt of electricity rolled through his body once more.
“Wait, wait H, hold up.” Alex said, breaking away. Henry moaned a petulant little whimper.
“I know baby, I know. But I feel like it's only fair to let you know they were all watching.”
Henry looked confused.
“Your little lumberjack routine. They were all watching you inside, finding it hilarious. And hey I don't wanna grass on him but Pez was the worst culprit, so y’know jot that down.”
Henry’s eyes slipped closed, trying and failing not to cringe, “Which means they’re probably watching us now.” He groaned.
“Probably.”
“Everyone?” He asked.
“Well not everyone. My dad is working in his off- oh wait,” Alex looked over Henry’s shoulder back towards the house and saw that his father had now joined the fray. June had her arm wrapped around his and was gesticulating wildly, clearly recounting the story. Thanks Bug. “He’s here too now. But if it’s any consolation he did miss most of it. And they can’t see your mortified little face right now. So there’s that.”
Henry dropped his head to Alex’s bare shoulder. He mumbled something Alex couldn’t make out, but sounded clearly pained.
“What was that?”
"I was just trying to help." Henry said, looking back to Alex. He bit the corner of his lip mustering the courage to share what what was on his mind. "I don't want anyone to think I'm a lazy house guest. Just a pampered little prince who never pulls his weight. Especially not him. Not your father."
Alex's heart melted. He cupped Henry's soft face in one hand and tipped his head down to kiss him on the nose. "No one thinks you're lazy. You're a guest in this house, you haven't got to do chores. Particularly not for Dad to like you. He already likes you, Henry. Trust me! God you are adorable, you know that?"
"Inept, too, by the sounds of it." Henry said, gesturing to the collection of beautifully chopped firewood, next to Henry's jagged pieces.
"Oh shut up. You're good at other things."
A sly grin crept across Henry's face as he looked down to where Alex was still holding the axe. He reached out for the head of the handle and ghosted his lithe fingers around it. Henry pulled his gaze from the handle of the axe up to meet Alex. Big blue eyes staring him down, daring Alex to react in front of his friends and family. He clenched his jaw, trying to keep his face as neutral as possible. Henry dialled it up to 11 as he gripped firmly around the wooden handle in an obscene stroke.
“Yeah, like what?” Henry asked, taking his turn to play the faultless ingénue.
Alex’s voice came out darker than he intended when he finally composed himself enough to speak. "We'll continue this later."
"Pick me up at the bunk beds at about midnight?"
“It’s a date.”