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It takes three hours to work up the courage to call Johan, and her finger hovers over the button to hang up the moment she sees his face.
Aki doesn't hang up. She still takes a long, long moment to speak up. "Don't tell Judai I called you. Please."
There's only a second before he responds. "Of course I won't."
And she trusts him to keep that word, after two years. "Did Judai tell you we're going back to Neo Domino?"
"He did." It's not surprising. Judai would have told Johan, if he told anyone.
Aki gives him her own recount of the chairman's call, and to her credit her voice only trembles as she finishes detailing the ominous threats from somewhere in KaibaCorp.
"I hate that city," she chokes out. "I don't want to go back."
Her parents had said they wanted to try again, but she'd seen it in the flicker of their eyes to the front windows: they were still scared of the monster. They wanted a tamed beast, defanged so she couldn't hurt them. Neo Domino's Duel Academia had wanted the same.
But even after two and a half years traveling with Judai, Aki still loses control. Still hurts people, when things get bad. Judai and his friends can handle her, so she's safe with them. The same can't be said for anyone she's ever known in Neo Domino City.
"But I have to do it," she whispers into the phone.
"No, you don't." Johan's voice is gentle as he shakes his head firmly. "You can stay away from the city. If that's what you want to do, then Judai will support you. I and everyone else will help."
"I owe it to Judai. And…I can't run away forever. I know I can't."
Judai's never been able to track down Yusei, the young man who'd ridden in from the future with a birthmark like hers, for direct answers. But three months ago in Peru the two of them had finally tracked down legends of the Crimson Dragon and its marked Signers, one of its claws identical to the mark on Aki's own arm.
Black Rose Dragon's spirit had emerged from Aki's Extra Deck to make direct eye contact with her once she laid eyes on that dragon glyph, and she'd understood immediately that her partner - beautiful and terrible as Aki herself - would never tolerate an attempt to sidestep her destiny. And she loves him too much to throw him aside just to delay the inevitable.
A lot of Judai's friends have given her their opinions on destiny. Johan's is one of the gentler ones, as the Gem Beasts' chosen holder, but even he can't deny that something ominous is coming.
And from Johan's sigh, he knows it too. "Even so, you don't owe Judai anything. You know he isn't that kind of person."
"That's the problem." Aki's fingers twitch for a pen; drawing has been good for working out her thoughts the past few years, but there aren't any in the bathroom she's holed up in. "If I don't do this, KaibaCorp will make things difficult for him. He won't complain, but it will be my fault. And they'll make it hard for me to stay with him and Yubel. And I want…I want to…"
"You want to stay with them." Johan's voice is patient, understanding. But he doesn't understand.
"I have to do this," she insists.
"Judai wants to stay with you too," Johan says. "I'm sure he's worried about you. He's resourceful, and he's protective of the people he cares about. Sometimes to a fault."
There's something to that last statement, and she knows it's related to Judai's past. There are things he hasn't told her, which is fine because he's told her everything that matters.
And besides, she realizes like a flash of summer rain, Judai's not the only one.
"Use your thorns to keep out those who would destroy you," she murmurs, "and to guard that which is yours."
"What?"
"Yubel told me that, when we first met." Aki uses her free hand to trace the shape of Yubel's silhouette on the bathroom wall, imagining the sweeping thorns and unapologetic asymmetry of their base form. "Judai and Yubel, they're…"
(The first person who ever reached a hand out to her and meant it.)
(The reason she hasn't sunken into despair and become the mad witch that still hovers behind her shoulder.)
(Her reason to keep trying.)
(The closest thing she has to a home.)
(That night in Peru after learning about the Crimson Dragon Aki had dreamed of an empty land razed by her hand, Signer birthmark an angry scar upon her skin. Black Rose Dragon ignored her pleas and alerted Yubel, and from there Judai had laid down with Aki through the late-night panic attack until she fell back asleep from exhaustion. Nobody's held her like that since…she can't even remember anymore.)
"...Important to me," she finishes. "Judai's done his best to protect me for the last few years. Now I have to protect him."
"You sound like you've made a decision." Johan tilts his head curiously, eyes emerald-bright.
"I have." She didn't realize it until now, but she has. "I'll go back and be part of the tournament, but they can't make me stay. And if someone tries to hurt me, or Judai, or Yubel…"
Guard that which is yours.
"I'll destroy them."
Johan's eyes widen slightly. He opens his mouth, but no words come out.
Silence stretches for a moment.
"...Ha." She isn't sure how to read his smile, his eyes aimed slightly past her. "Those two have really rubbed off on you, haven't they?"
"Um…" She falters. Was that too much? Is he going to—
"Well, that's probably all right." He shrugs. "It's to be expected, after all."
"I'm sorry if I scared you." Aki cringes away from the phone in her hand for a second, even knowing that Johan of all people isn't one to reject people like her so offhand.
"It's fine!" And he says that, but the lighthearted tone makes it hard to tell exactly what he's thinking. "Don't worry. I'll see you soon."
"Huh?"
Click.