Work Text:
after the false sun goes down, neon lights come alive in the gilded streets, illuminating the night sky in dreamy, bright colours. such a stunning view of the golden hour, framed by a window which aventurine looks out from the comfort of his hotel suite.
he's only left one, yellow desk lamp on. even someone like him needs occasional breaks from all the gold and glitter penacony has to offer, and today just happens to be one of those rare, slow days in which he wasn't caught up in hectic tasks. leave it up to jade to mercilessly work a dog to death. aventurine tosses a coin in his palm before shoving it back into his pocket without looking at the result. "doctor, you've been standing at the door for 5 minutes. you better make up your mind or i'll kick you out of my room."
"i did not want to disturb your brooding."
"you've already disturbed me anyway." aventurine swivels around in his chair to face the doctor, barely able to muster up the energy to smile. "so," he starts. "coming to see me in the middle of the night. what do you want?"
doctor ratio crosses the room in even strides, stopping right in front of aventurine, towering over him with an indecipherable expression on his face. aventurine is all too familiar with the crease between his brows, the disapproving downwards slant of the corners of his mouth. he isn't saying anything, but rather, maintaining the awkward silence. "you look... rather worn."
now this takes aventurine by surprise. "ever the keen observer doctor. yes, you are right. i'm tired."
"you must be, given the ipc and their disregard for healthy work ethics."
"you sound worried. are you worried, doctor?"
there's that strange expression again. his eyes are squinting in a way that's completely foreign to aventurine, something he can't quite understand. he has the option to tease it out of the doctor, say something like oh, so you do care about me.
still, aventurine would like for him to not leave, so he holds his tongue.
"earlier today," ratio moves again, this time towards the small lounge area, plopping down on the plush, orange couch. "when you and i were in dewlight pavilion, you flinched when i grabbed your arm to keep you from slipping."
aventurine regrets leaving most of the lights off, because the yellow light from the desk lamp is shining on all the right angles of ratio's body, carving out the beautiful shapes of the muscles that he takes so much pride in, rightfully so. even as muddle-headed as he is, he knows where this conversation is going, and he's already thinking of ways to cut it short. a gambler should always keep his cards close to his chest after all. his schemes and secrets should forever be concealed, buried in sigonian sand alongside his family, but doctor ratio is a wild card who has a tendency to open up aventurine's old wounds, even if he doesn't know it.
"i'm assuming you want to ask why." aventurine takes out the coin again. he passes it through his fingers so he could look at something other than ratio.
"you do not have to answer me. i just... thought i could satisfy my curiosity."
aventurine closes his eyes. his voice is barely louder than a whisper when he asks, "is it so hard to admit that you're worried about me, veritas?"
doctor ratio doesn't respond. aventurine tosses the coin, but it slips from his fingers, dropping to the floor. it rolls and rolls, falling flat on the ground near ratio's sandal. the doctor picks it up and holds it up to the light, analysing the way it shines, so very similar to aventurine's eyes when he wins a bet. ratio himself doesn't know it, but the corners of his mouth quirk up into a small smile at the thought. aventurine can only stare, wondering what on earth veritas ratio could be smiling about. "hey." aventurine frowns. "if you're just here to laugh at me, i'll really kick you out."
"apologies." ratio reverts back to his usual, stone-faced state. "i am not laughing at you. i was just thinking."
"thinking about what?"
"you wouldn't want to know."
if aventurine had the energy, he would have jumped on that infuriating man and strangled him to death five minutes ago. stupid veritas, with his ugly violet hair and muscular arms. inviting himself into my room in the middle of the night just to mock me. what. the. fuck.
"fine," aventurine stands and goes to the bed, throwing himself directly on top of it without bothering to get under the sheets. "don't tell me. i'm going to bed."
"you haven't answered my question."
"i don't wanna. you ruined the mood. now get out unless you wanna sleep with me."
there's a long moment of silence. aventurine closes his eyes, assuming the doctor had already left despite not hearing the door shut and lock itself. unexpectedly, he feels a significant dip on the bed right next to him, smells the faint, clean scent of soap and chalk.
"i am worried," ratio admits, his words soft, voice suddenly much closer. this sends aventurine's brain short circuiting. he opens his eyes slowly, as calmly as he can, and he's met with veritas ratio lying on his side next to him, staring at him curiously.
aventurine smiles. it isn't genuine. he tells himself it isn't. "veritas."
"what is it?"
"you're an idiot you know, for worrying about someone like me."
ratio presses his lips together, upset with the very notion that he, of all people, was called an idiot by the dumbest man he's ever known. still, he doesn't leave. he just flips onto his back, opting to gaze up at the ceiling. aventurine on the other hand, freezes up. he's looking at the way ratio's violet hair fans out on the pillow. soft elegant waves, rich in colour, like vibrant jewels in the light. "when i am with you," ratio whispers as he closes his eyes. his red liner is smudged, and aventurine has to restrain himself from wiping it all off. "i become an idiot."
"well sorry for spreading the disease," aventurine says sarcastically.
ratio huffs. "you are not forgiven."
"enough. just sleep."
aventurine closes his eyes again, this time determined to not open them until the sunrise. he can feel ratio shift around next to him, possibly feeling for the light switch somewhere on the wall. there's a crisp click, and then the rustle of sheets being pulled over their bodies. aventurine can't remember when was the last time he was tucked into bed by someone, just like this. sometimes veritas ratio does perplexing things that leave aventurine at a loss. a question that has been plaguing his mind resurfaces. veritas, what exactly am i to you?
aventurine may be a compulsive gambler, but even he isn't willing to strike this bet. putting his life on the line is easy, but this is his heart at stake, a wager he can't afford to lose.
ratio turns again, and aventurine almost feels resentful. "veritas," he grumbles.
"you are the one who told me to sleep."
"you're insufferable, doctor." aventurine is facing him now. he bumps against the doctor, nearly shoving him off the bed. "i was going to answer your question."
"talk to me."
"what are you going to give in return?"
"anything."
"then...veritas."
"hm?"
"...your hand. give me your hand."
aventurine blindly reaches for ratio, but his hand collides with a firm chest. something warm rests on his cheek, and aventurine has to stifle a surprised gasp when a calloused thumb gently brushes across the skin under his eye. "i said give me your hand." his heartbeat accelerates. "not touch my face."
"as if you are just going to hold my hand and not press it up to your face," ratio huffs. "like this."
"you think you know everything."
"i do."
"veritas."
"yes?"
i love you. "am i dreaming? why are you so nice?" aventurine swallows the lump in his throat. "why don't you just scold me like you always do?"
ratio doesn't respond immediately. his hand slides past aventurine's ear, all the way to the back of his head. before he knows it, aventurine has his head pillowed on a bicep, strong arms wrapped around him like he's some kind of treasure. how long has it been since aventurine felt this safe? maybe it was that scorching summer's day before the war that destroyed his homeland, when he was a child swimming in an oasis, his sister, still alive, calling for him to come inside for tea time.
"gambler."
"..."
"aventurine."
"..."
"kakavasha."
"...don't call me that. what is it?"
"you're crying."
"i know. i'm sorry."
sorry... you had to see me like this.
aventurine crumbles, but there's the grounding weight of that steady hand on his cheek, letting him focus on something else other than the sudden consuming ache in his chest. the nimble fingers wiping at the tears so tenderly, it doesn't feel real. aventurine of stratagems does not know such a thing, does not dare to know it. even so, the touch is inviting enough to make him stay and wonder: has the esteemed doctor ratio been such a sympathetic human being?
"do not apologise if you have nothing to apologise for," the doctor says curtly. then, in a more delicate tone, "what's wrong?"
i love you. "did you know that i was a slave?" aventurine asks as he chokes down a pathetic sob.
"yes. and?"
then did you know they treated me like i was an animal? did you know that i was passed around like a shared toy? did you know how i couldn't recognise myself in the mirror after being torn to shreds over and over and over—
"dear gambler."
"what?"
ratio sighs. aventurine can feel his chest rising and falling as he does. the room is dark, yet somehow aventurine could make out vague features of ratio's face. he's stared at him long enough to do so. there are those dark, strong brows, knitted into a frown. his lips are slightly parted, and it takes everything in aventurine to peel his eyes away from them. "...i take back my question." ratio finally says. "don't tell me."
"but-" aventurine wants to protest, but then there's fingers combing through his hair, and his brain fogs up. "but you..." he mumbles, only half-awake. "...already gave me your hand."
"take it. it is for free."
"nothing is free."
"then what will you do?"
"what do you want?"
you. ratio says nothing. always you.
in the dark, aventurine can see nothing, but they must be very close, given he can feel mintyness of ratio's breath fan across his face. he finds himself anxiously waiting for an answer. the dice has been cast, and he's watching it roll across the table with bated breath, clutching on to his chips for dear life. doctor ratio. an uptight asshole who's so stupidly perfect, stupidly incorrigible, aventurine can't help but want to dig the man's heart out, not knowing it had already been his for a long, long time.
a feather light kiss on his forehead snaps him out of it. "kakavasha," ratio says, his voice soft and rich with fondness. "you don't owe me a single thing. all i ask for is that you take better care of yourself."
"you–" aventurine protests. a thumb presses itself against his lips, effectively shutting him up.
"i know i do not have the right to demand that from you, but i demand it anyway." ratio frowns. your life may not be precious to you... but it is to me. so-"
"veritas. your heart's beating really fast."
"...i-is it?"
aventurine dares to laugh at him. he's curling and uncurling his fingers against ratio's chest as if he isn't sure what to do with them, what sort of pose would appear nonchalant and easy, despite the rising tide of fear creeping into the back of his mind. that uneasiness lasts until ratio takes hold of it, pressing it flat against his heart. "is it still beating fast?" he says. a soft sigh, gently exhaled into the small space between their lips. aventurine feels as if he's drunk himself into a stupor, and that maybe the endearing glimmer in ratio's two-toned eyes as they close is a figment of his drunken imagination, but the warmth of ratio's mouth against his is undeniably real. he has never been able to imagine how kissing ratio would feel like, until now, when it is actually happening.
it's clumsy. their teeth clack together impatiently, as if ratio's been wanting to kiss him for years. aventurine wants to laugh. he can feel ratio grumble desperately against his lips. adorable.
"veritas," he mumbles, purposefully slow. ve-ri-tas.
"what is it?"
i love you.
aventurine tells him, in old, dead sigonian.
"what does that mean?"
"nothing, i just wanted to say it."
"you better not be cussing me out..."
aventurine laughs. he thinks he can get used to this.