Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

People writing:
Cherio (no pronouns)

Eggs (He/They)

Salt (She/Her)

Fandoms written and who knows what:
Twisted Wonderland (Cherio, Eggs read the first book)
Madoka Magica (Eggs and Salt)
Genshin (All Three)
Ensemble Stars!! (Only Cherio)
Revolutionary Girl Utena (Only Salt)
Duck Detective: The Secret Salami (Only Cherio, and I was the first man to make a fic for this fandom so ywyw /lh)
Inanimate Objects as OCs (Specifically referencing chapters 10 and 12 and it's not a fandom. Nobody knows what's going on there)
Bungo Stray Dogs (Cherio and Salt, but Eggs read the first few manga)
Death Note (All Three)

Scott Pilgrim (Salt and Cherio)

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS

Lilia Vanrouge, urmom

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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Once upon a time, urmom met a very nice lad. He was named Lilia Vanrouge. Lilia gave her

flowers and cool ranch dorbeetos. Urmom loves cool ranch dorbeetos. Copyright and trademark

free. Just how she likes it. Like that. Just like that. with no copyright and no trademark. Yup.

Mhm. AnyWAYS

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Lilia Vanrouge and urmom got together one fateful night to have a picnic in the dark. Yes, in

complete and utter pitch black darkeness to discuss important matters. Lilia Vanrouge and

urmom began to gossip. About you!

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urmom laid on the spread blanket with a heavy sigh.

"Oh Lilia, how I wish I could stay here forever with you. But alas, I have a stupid child to take

care of..."

"Why not tell them your getting milk and run away with me?"

"What? You'd truly run away with me, and run from out responsibilities?"

"Yeah, fuck it, why not?" Lilia stared at urmom with a satisfied grin, fondness in his eyes.

"Oh Lilia... What would I do without you..." Urmom sighed

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FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: Sayaka, Kyoko
WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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Sayaka and Kyoko sat at the table of a McDonald’s hidden behind all prying eyes. They were loudly slurping their Sprite drinks until they were interrupted by an explosion.

Ugh, not again.

Kyoko rolled her eyes and Sayaka sighed.
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Sayaka hopped out of her seat with a sigh, turning to face Kyoko.

"So, do you wanna come fight with me this time, or should your darling girlfriend be your knight
in shining armour?"

Kyoko grabbed Sayaka's arm and spun her around into a dip.

"How about we stay here and have fun instead?"
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There was another crash and their hair took to flight, creating a very romantic, shoujo scene.

"Ah, Sayaka.... SAYAKA NO OH GOD NO!!"

A SEMI CRASHED THROUGH THE MCDONALDS!!!!

Sayaka grabbed Kyoko's arm and threw her to the window on their right. The semi flattened Sayaka and Kyoko flew like a rotating png into the window. Physics were on her side as all her atoms skillfully avoided the window's atoms. She phased through the window. She quickly stood up and watch her lover be flattened in horror. She wailed and wailed on the window.

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: Kaveh, Alhaitham

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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Alhaitham was sitting at the House of Denya, skipping his classes in favor of studying by himself. He's also trying to avoid one of his seniors, Kaveh from Kesharwar, who has been insistent-

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On alhaitham washing his hands. What does he even know??!? Cant a man enjoy living a little?

There are *organisms* there, Kaveh!! He wants him to be a cold-blooded killer? What a horrid,

horrid man. The next day, alhaitham felt a tad bit warm and light headed. Ah, 'tis the season... of

the flu. He passed out in the library. When he woke up, he found Kaveh peering down at him.

His brows were scrunched with worry. "Alhaitham? OH MY GOD Slash ref!!! Youre finally awake

slash ref!"

Slash ref

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Alhaitham stared at him with the most deadpan expression he could muster. And then in an instant, he instantly burst into sparkles of pink and gold. Loudly screeching and proclaiming his love for the other man.

Alhaitham OWOd and said “KAVEH MY SUN LIGHT STARS AND LOVE OF MY LIFE. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE AS A SLASH REF FOR ALL OF TIME?!"

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FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: Mika Kagehira, Shu Itsuki

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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Mika was walking home from school, daydreaming of shu by his side. Sadly, he was in france. He was taking fashion design in some french college. Mika had never been good with roman letters. It was called

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A Gays Guide to Fashion. He didn't know why he enrolled into the class (he wasn't gay, no way).

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Until one day he took a bite of a baguette. And suddenly realized! “I AM GAY” he declared.

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FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: Utena, Anthy

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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Utena and Anthy sat in the rose garden. They were having a quaint lunch until a castle crashed on top 

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Of ZA WARUDo. They were the only people who weren't squashed. They jumped with fright and c,utched onto each other, shaking i their boots. The drawbridge lowered menacingly and out stepped the king koopa himself! Bowser!

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"muwahahahhaha you fucking gays!!!! Gimme your money!!! And souls!!!"

"What the fuck??!!" Utena screamed.

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FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: Tighnari, Cyno

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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Tighnari was sitting at his couch, helping Collei with her studies when he hears a knock on his door. When he opens his door

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He hears hi from Cyno. “Did someone say knock knock” and winks to you in the fourth wall as the crowd perfectly laughs in time.

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They died of laughter.

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FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: duck detective, freddy frederson

WRITERS: cherio, salt, eggs

Despite Eugene's initial protests, Freddy made an excellent sidekick. His perspective as a fan was integral to revitalizing his brand. 

Eugene entered his apartment and hung his hat on the coat-hanger. He glanced at Freddy clacking away on his keyboard, kicking his feet under the desk. It was... endearing. Eugene cast his glance

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then onto the bomb laying under Freddy. He paused for a brief moment before speaking in a totally-not-panicked voice

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"Do you know there's a bomb under you...?" 

"Yes."

"What the fuck??? Why aren't you moving???" Eugene stared at the bomb and realized that there were wires wrapping around his leg. 

"I... I can't move. It will trigger if I do.. I don't know what to do Eugene.. I'm scared, I don't want to die like this." Freddy sniffed and cried, but remained in his seat. 

After seeing there were no traps, Eugene

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: cyno, tighnari

WRITERS: eggs, cherio, salt

Cyno and Tighnari were getting ready in their rooms as they had planned a date for the night. They had been pretty busy the past week, and decided that they deserved a relaxing night out together. Cyno however had ulterior motives.

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Cyno squeezed Tighnari's hand, making sure he couldn't escape. Tighnari glanced up at the theater... Comedy night. Tighnari slowly looked back at Cyno and his grin grew tenfold. Tighnari sighed, and they walked inside. He guided him to front row seats. After a minute, an announcer walked out and everyone gave him a round of applause. He gestured to Cyno, and welcomed him on stage. Tighnari held his head in his hands, ashamed.

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Cyno waved to the audience before slowly settling them down. He interrupted the silence with his first joke.

“How did the barber win the race?” He paused for dramatic effect.

“He knew a shortcut!” He laughed loudly before slowly realizing the silence in the room and pro

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: purple crayola marker, yellow crayola marker

WRITERS: salt, eggs, cherio

The purple crayola marker and sitting nice and in it’s place next to the blue crayola marker. But across the color wheel it could see it’s soulmate.

A beautiful and delicate bright yellow marker. The color that paints the warm, sunny days and beautiful beaches of the seaside.

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The purple Crayola marker longed to stand beside the bright, beautiful yellow, but alas purple was too cold and dark for yellow to ever want it. 

Yellow had to be content with its other options, like the bold red, or the warm orange. But never purple, it's polar opposite.

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Yellow batted its eyelashes, tucking some hair stuck in its cap. Purple wanted to reach out and pluck it out. Blue saw its lovestruck gaze and rolled its eyes. It gave purple a hard pat on the back, sending its cap soaring to the floor. Purple flushed and whipped around to Blue, dumbfounded. Blue pointed at Yellow who was leaning out of its spot to glance at the fallen cap rolling right to its feet. Purple held its breath as Yellow picked the cap up, looking around for its owner. Its eyes met Purple's and sparks flew. Yellow waved awkwardly and Purple was done for.

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FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: zhongli, dazai

WRITERS: cherio, salt, eggs

Dazai stared blankly at the ceiling, counting the tiles. His roommate babbled about nothing.

"Back in my days... Osmanthus wine w-...my friends... Where are the memories..."

"Same, gramps." Dazai sighed loudly, slipping down his bed.

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Dazai fiddled with the IV attached to his wrist connecting to his veins. He sighed loudly. Another failed suicide attempt, classic.

“So what are you in here for then-“

“Osmanthus wine holds the memories of the past” Zhongli said interrupting him

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"And what happened in said path?" Dazai was curious now, he kept bringing it up but he never went into the fucking details. Like what the point? He's begging to be asked at this point.

".. so dark.. so so dark. Death, destruction, war.." 

".are you a war veteran...????" 

"AAA... I guess you could consider me a veteran to pain and death.. but no. I was a God once. One that was meant to bring prosperity and peace. But instead.. I brought the destruction of my country.. oh where have those peaceful times gone.." Zhongli said with tears.

"Yo can someone get this grandpa??? I think he's crazier than me, blabbering all this shit!!" Dazai ye

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: pencil, eraser

WRITERS: salt, eggs, cherio

The pencil and eraser have always been companions. Bound together by their creators for necessary order. One creates. The other destroys.

The pencil will create and weave beautiful stories. While the eraser will clean up and rid the pencil of all mistakes.

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The pencil and eraser were seen as inseparable, but the eraser hated this torturous life. It had been split apart so many times, but as long as a piece existed, it would always live and destroy no matter the pain. The pencil never made it better. 

The pencil would create, but it'd do much

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The pencil's stabs punctured the eraser. The eraser tore the pencil's work. Back and forth their creation and destruction harmed and healed amounting to nothing but stained shavings and blank papers. 

They whittled themselves to stumps of their former grandiose identities, all their hopes and dreams cast aside. They could only hope they outlasted the other.

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: alhaitham, kaveh

WRITERS: eggs, cherio, salt

Kaveh looked over the young gray hair junior at the corner table in the library. And then he tugged at his glove, where his soul mark of an eagle lied. He didn't want to take any chances of him f

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falling on his ass in front of them. God... that'd be so embarrassing... 

While he was spacing out, he caught a glance of a bird of paradise on this gray haired boy's bicep. What??

He looked down at his own bird and back at the other boy's bird. 

Huh, what a coincidence!

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The man stared at him for a second before vehemently turning away from him, dead set on ignoring Kaveh.

Worrying that he had given off the wrong impression. Kaveh swiftly packed up his book before anything could become more awkward between him and the man.

He felt as though something was missing

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: deuce, ace

WRITERS: cherio, eggs, salt

They lounged lazily on Deuce's bed, doomscrolling. There was some bakery shutting down for salmonella contamination, some celebrity was caught cheating. As long as it wasn't Vil, he didn't care. It was too hot for them to care.
Ace sighed and turned to Deuce, watching him. He looked vaguely dead. It reminded him of his crappy ass makeup for Halloween Cater had to fix. He smiled, but quickly frowned. He was sticky, and it was gross. 
He sat up, relishing the cool air on his back. Deuce looked up at him
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"What's up your ass?? Care to share what's going on on that pretty little head of yours?"  Ace questioned.

"...Hmm nothing, just this fucking heat is taking me out.." Deuce stretched out more and laid on Ace
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Then heard a small creaking noise under the bed, followed by a dark shadow being cast across the room. 

Now they were no strangers to the strange or uncanny, as you tend to get used to it after the umpteenth of someone “accidentally” drinking a potion and setting the school on fire.

But this “thing” was a dark blotchy entity, even while creeping into the light still remained pitch black.

It’s claws sunk into the corner of the corner of the bed tearing it. Before adroitly, devoring both Ace and Deuce in one single gulp.

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: light yagami, l lawlight

WRITERS: eggs, salt, cherio

Day 2 Soulmate/Star-Crossed Lovers 

 When he turned 17, Light got a picture of.. a cake. A strawberry cake. This was meant to represent his soulmate? Does this mean that his soulmate is a glutton? 

No no... If this was his supposed "other half," it couldn't be something as selfish and disgusting. Maybe.. they own a bakery? And were suc

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Light was determined to find such bakery and track down his soulmates to the last depths of the earth. He wondered if they would be as methodical as him. Probably not.

Well it would satisfy that itch he’s been having at the very least. There’s been a strange feeling he’s been having recently. Like he’s not supposed to be like this: a normal teenage boy

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He was... Something greater. The mental stimulation school offered was unsatisfactory. He *needed* more. This search was *just* what he needed.

He researched non-stop all day and night for local bakeries and studied their designs. Instagram was his best friend.

His parent occasionally checked on him, reminding him to eat and sleep. However, he paid them no heed.

After a few days, he discovered where the cake originated from. 

He was onto something.

He took the picture with him and slipped outside, heading towards the train station. He planned to show the bakery the cake and question them on where it came from.

Once he arrived around 5am, when they opened, he strolled inside. The bakers, without looking up, greeted him. "Oh, hello L! The usual?..." They stepped out from behind the counter, looking at Light like he had two heads.

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: kyoko, sayaka

WRITERS: salt, cherio, eggs

Kyoko and Sayaka were lying next to one another on a blanket. Earlier that day Sayaka had invited her to have lunch, suspicious but intrigued Kyoko had obliged. 

She thought the other girl had hated her as she often proclaimed her “moral superiority “over Kyoko. As if she understood anything sh

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she said. 

They were staring at the clouds and Sayaka was droning on and on about Rorschach tests and some other pseudo-psychological bullshit. She asked Kyoko what she saw. 

"Clouds." She responded, simply. 

"No shit. What else?" He glanced at her smirking. Kyoko didn't see it. 

Kyoko was contemplating her answer. Truthfully, she didn't want to be psycho-analyzed today. She had to think of something normal.

"A cat."

Sayaka grinned. "A cat? In that thing?" She pointed at the sky, "Well, you must be a very abstract thinker."

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"Abstract thinking?? I'm just spouting bullshit so that you'll be happy" 

"Aw how sweet.." Sayaka rolled her eyes. 

"..So, are we gonna actually eat or stare at clouds all day?" 

"I never stopped you silly" Sayaka aggressively ruffled Kyoko's hair. 

She may have seemed confident, but in all honesty, she was nervous. They had been dating for years now, and by the end of the night, she hoped they could be something more than just girlfriends. 

They chatted through the afternoon, munching on their snacks. When those eventually ran out, Sayaka proposed going on a walk.

"There's a bridge near by with a good view of sunsets, should we go?"

"What's got you all romantic today?" She teased the girl, but grabbed onto her hand and ran with her to the bridge.

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: malleus draconia, nagisa ran

WRITERS: cherio, salt, eggs

Nagisa was visiting the petting zoo today. In his attempt to discover humanity, he wished to have a unique experience shared by many. When he arrived with Hiyori in tow, he towered over the sea of children on their field trips. A few teenagers almost recognized them, but said nothing. Nagisa smiled. He was fully content just observing, but Hiyori pushed him to actually pet something. He was slightly hesitant, as they were random, stinky animals, but he obliged. If it was what he wanted...

Meandering, he searched for an animal that truly piqued his interest. He somehow wandered outside the fence and was wandering a nearby forest. Inside, he found a tall, horned man. 

He had heard about goats from Adonis, whom had first hand experience dealing with them, but this one seemed... Odd... Nagisa was interested. The goat turned to look at him. It had a human face? Intruiging...

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Nagisa approached the man with hesitance before saying 

“my dad doesn’t love me :((((“

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"..."

"..."

"What the fuck???" Malleus exclaimed, shocked by the forwardness of the young man.

"...mmm yeah, I don't know what compelled me to say that.." Nagisa sighed. "So.. are you apart of the petting zoo?" 

"Excuse me..??" He stared at the man, wondering how fucking oblivious he was to social cues. Malleus has been told he was socially incompetent, but this was just at another level.

The white haired man however took his silence as a yes, and started reaching his hand out to the horns on his head.

Malleus jolted back, and uncharacteristically (and for plot reasons) turned around and started running away from the idiot. 

Nagisa started chasing the man, seeing as Hiyori told him to pet something, so he was going to pet those horns.

This, a long stupid chased started wit

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: light yagami, l lawliet
WRITERS: eggs, cherio, salt

Day One: Firsts/Death
(Yotsuba Arc - aka Light doesn't remember he's Kira)

 L and Light we're up in their bedroom that night, staying up late since they had found possible leads in the Kira case and didn't want the opportunity to go to waste.

 Suddenly, loud sirens were being blasted through the streets. 

"Warning: Area is in Tor
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Tornado."
It went through the usual dialogue and, chained together, L and Light turned to look at each other. What? At this time of day, in this time of the year, in this part of the country? Whatever, they hopped up and dragged each other half-aggressively down the stairs. They were practically tripping and falling over each other. Damn this building for being so tall!
When they finally got to the basement,
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Light realized that he concussed his head- like really badly. He felt his head spinning, and why was his breath so shallow for some reason?

He no longer felt the chain on his wrist to L. He tried to touch where the chain should be. (it should be there why isn’t it there-) 

But felt nothing as his breath continued to be more and more shallow. In a desperate break from character he started screaming for someone, anyone. Befor

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FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: atsushi, akutagawa

WRITERS: salt, eggs, cherio

Atsushi had never agreed to this. If someone walking by the street had asked him what he was doing here. He would (all while being VERY calm and collected) explain that he was kidnapped.

Kidnapped by Dazai of course, as for as much as Akutagawa resented him he would never put himself at risk of being publicly humiliated. 

So here he is standing upon a stage with the most itchy, and uncomfortable clothes since the rags the orphanage director gave him. 

All to please the whims of a man who proclaimed his undying love of suicide all while causing pain

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He sighed deeply. Dazai had said it was for a good cause, (for homeless orphans) and he wanted to what he could to support it. So what if he had to sing silly songs or be dramatic on stage? He doesn't give two shits if it means that he could support those in needs!!! 

Suddenly, before he had to head on stage, Akutagawa appread

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In a black button up and red tie, belting black parade. Atsushi jumped and his first instinct was to run, but Akutagawa predicted this. He snatched him with Rashoumon and held him still. 

"Don't be a KILLJOY, Atsushi!" He smirked. Atsushi had no fucking clue what he was talking about. 

"A-Akutagawa... What... What is the meaning of this??" 

While they argued onstage, Dazai had his feet propped on the red, velvet seat in front of him munching on popcorn. 

Eventually, the truth was laid bare. Dazai promised Akutagawa that Atsushi would act out his MCR musical. Atsushi was speechless, but he took the script, anyway. Akutagawa looked at him expectantly, the faintest hint of a smile on his face. It creeped him out. He looked down, and all his parts were highlighted already.

Akutagawa turned to the audience. "Okay! From the top!" and pointed to the sky.

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: homura, sayaka

WRITERS: salt, cherio, eggs

Homura awaited Sayaka at the train station, once again she was meddling in her schedule. Even though Homura felt as though she couldn’t be pushed to her limit, that continued to be proven further and further every day she woke up.

She heard footsteps running up the stairs. Just in time for train doors to shut straight in her face. 

Homura sighed.

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And whipped around. Sayaka may have broken the camel's back. She stomped up after the footsteps, determined to accomplish *one* thing today. 

Her fury rising, she ran faster and faster after her. Every step she took, she remembered more and more bullshit she had to put up with every other day. She was *sick* and *tired*.

Eventually, she caught up and grabbed her by the shoulder, yanking her backwards

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"How the fuck did you get in the train?? You didn't even get in on time, I saw the doors slam on you!!" Sayaka exclaimed, pushing Homura away from her. 

(Thankfully, the sudden shock of a teenage girl falling from the roof of a train helped shut up two dickheads gossiping about how they treated their girlfriend's like shit.)

"You need to calm down Sayaka, your soul gem is almost pitch black." Homura handed out a grief seed to her. "Kyoko told me to give you this."

Sayaka stared at the seed. She thought of a red head who smelt like lavender, a girl who she cared for, but who never cared for her. 

"Why?"

"She cares, Sayaka. We care. We don't want to lose you too."

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: light yagami, l lawliet
WRITERS: eggs, salt, cherio

Day 3: Sleeping Together/Nightmares 
(Yotsuba Arc yet again 😋)

 It was around 2am on a random Tuesday. L was munching on a piece of strawberry shortcake and researching while Light was sleeping in the bed next to him. L insisted that Light slept in the same bed as him, but Light was very, VERY defensive about at least sleeping separately. (L was soon about to find out why.)

L suddenly felt their handcuffs start shaking,
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Light was tugging on the handcuffs, clearly in some dreamlike state, walking towards the window, he looked down to the lower floor before jumping-

And before L knew it he was being pulled through the shattered window Light had just exited from.

Well, now he had the confirmation he desired at least
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Like some kind of messed up groundhog day scenario, L awoke with a fright. Adrenaline fizzled through his fingertips and toes. He sighed, only a puff, and glanced at Light right beside him (not in a seperate bed. That's how he knew it was a dream). He was sleeping, yet tense. He considered waking him up, but if their dreams were anything alike, he'd wake up soon, anyway. In 3... 2... 1...
Light's eyes fluttered open. There was an almost indiscernible panic to it, yet L's eyes caught it. 
"Hello." L said.
Light glanced up at L, steeling his face. 
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing, nothing. I just woke up." He looked ahead of him. "Quite the coincidence, no?"

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: dazai, chuuya
WRITERS: cherio, eggs, salt

Back in his mafia days, Dazai could be as loud as he could be quiet. It was almost unnerving when their typical loud banter fell flat. Chuuya would yell louder, but he never got a reaction. He assumed Dazai was trying some mind game and didn't want to relent. Eventually, they'd both work in occasional silence.
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Chuuya was silently working some work at his desk while Dazai was over at his pin board, wrapping yarn around thumbtacks while connecting random shit together. 

Dazai however, would usually explain what he was doing and ask Chuuya for his opinion, but Dazai was set on not talking and frankly, it was getting on his nerves. Saving his work on his computer, he stomped over to Dazai to figure out what the duck was going on.

Hw
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Then he turned to Dazai -and saw he turned into a propane container.

“. . . :(“ Chuuya said

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: riddle rosehearts, nagisa ran

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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Traversing through the marshy, dilapidated city, a little cat-ferret named Riddle slithered around. He hopped over snagging roots and dodged creepy insects in the water.

Standing on a ledge, Riddle looked to the horizon. It was brown. Below him was a narsty concoction of corrosives and plain acid. Before him, a creature. Tall as the mound he stood and more elegant that a fluttering leaf. It had a long, white mane and

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Riddle tilted his head to observe the creature. That tall creature also held a similarly strange name, Nagisa. 

He swiftly brought his head down to the ground before Riddle. He stepped closer, waiting for the Nagisa to move away but he stayed still.

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"What are you doing.. here?" Not even hello? What a way to start conversation. "I mean- your kind- uh, your species doesn't usually come out here, right? Most just stay at the edge of the forest..."

Nagisa just tilted his head.

"..."

"Not much for talking I assume? Then at least let me introduce myself. I am Riddle Rosehearts."

Nagisa nodded and sat down beside the tiny cat-ferret. He laid his head down onto the grass and cuddled up with Riddle.

Riddle was shocked

at the aud[city]

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FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: ramona flowers, roxy richter

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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Ramona was putting her dishes into the washer late at night when she ran into her “roommate”. 

She wasn’t exactly sure what to call their relationship. One night she got a little too experimental and kissed her (stupid move) without thinking of the consequences. 

And now she was here, standing awkwardly in front of her.

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"Something bother you?" Roxy stared at Ramona.

"No- Nope!! Nothing at all- just finishing up the dishes!" She stuttered, ridiculing herself for sounding so nervous. She has nothing to worry about after all!!! Since Roxy wasn't stressing about *the incident* (God why is she being so dramatic, nothing happened!!), so she wouldn't stress either!

Roxy looked her up and down. And then grabbed her arm.

*Holy shit!!!! What is she doing!!!???!!!* R

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Roxy turned Ramona to face her, her expression stern. 

"What's *up* with you today? You know I hate liars, and there's no reason for you to lie to me!"

Ramona's jaw dropped, and she was speechless. What the fuck was she supposed to say?? She flushed in embarrassment, floundering for something to say.

While she was fumbling, Roxy's brows furrowed deeper and deeper. 

"I-I-I-I. Uh, y-you..." She resorted to violently shaking her head. 

Roxy let go of her with a slight shove, pouting and crossing her arms. "Why can't you tell me? I thought I was your *girlfriend*. Or, was that kiss nothing to you?" She side-eyed Ramona. 

Ramona, still unable to speak, pulled Roxy into a kiss. Once they parted, Ramona whispered

gently "One more."

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FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: nagisa, riddle

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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(I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THESE TWO)

(THIS IS PLANTONIC 🥺)

 Riddle stared at his phone, contemplating. On his phone, an entrancing ad was playing for a rhythm game called "Ensemble Stars." The characters were quite attractive... And the game seems fun... But he's not sure.

What if his Mother found out he was wasting his time on a silly game? Then again, how would his mother find out? And would he really be spending *that* much time on a rhythm game? No, he supposes not.

With a sigh, he downloads the game.

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"ANSANBURU SUTAAZU, MIUUJIKU!" 

A loud, poppy song started to play. Riddle killed his phone and sat in silence. 

Thank the seven he was in his dorm room.

Riddle turned his phone back on and lowered the volume to just above zero and proceeded. 

There were characters, there was a rhythm practice, there was an overwhelming amount of characters showcased in just 2 minutes, and he had to choose one of them. Only one to "produce." 

He had no idea what this entailed, carefully perusing his options. He was too overwhelmed to think carefully and stopped scrolling on a group called "Eden." 

What was an Eden? Riddle had no clue. 

He took his first steps into gacha hell. The camera panned from golden lights to around a stage, until a voice resounded.

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“RIDDLE!” 

Unfortunately, it was just a dream 😔

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: lilia vanrouge, cherio catbean

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Cocoa

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Lilia and Cherio were walking hand in hand, skipping through destruction. They had arsoned a forest as proclaimation of love. What burning romance!!

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After they had set fire as show to their love, they decided to move onto bigger and bolder methods of destruction. 

The next step was to transform every student into adorable kitten. Not for any nefarious reasons, of course!

But so that they could lovingly adopt them as pets for their 2 children.

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Totally pets, not food. But they thought. Kittens were too sweet to be eaten. So they confesed they loved each other and ate everyone in the school instead. Yummy. And they kissed each other byebye and then realized they're part of the hunger games and then they decided who's best to eat, Cheerios or Lilia. Oh cheerio is better, they were eaten <3

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: riddle rosehearts, lilia

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs, (Cocoa)

Lilia was in the Heartslabyul dorm, cooking some tart along with Trey and Chen'ya. (She went to get a knife to)

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Cut the strawberries for the tart!! 

Lilia instructed Riddle on proper knife ediquette like how you hand it over and how you chop. 

"Oh, I see... Like this?" Riddle sloppily cut some tops off the strawberries. His face burned with embarrassment. He wasnt used to such imperfection..

"Yeah, that's perfect! Try to go in a circlurar motion when you slice it and use the heel of the blade!"

Lilia demonstrated again, chopping the strawberries into thin slices. Riddle nodded and copied him, creating uneven slices. 

He sighed. "How do you know so much about knifework, Lilia?"

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“. . . . Why don’t I show you?”

“What is that supposed to-“

“AAAAAAAAAAAAA-“

“Ask stupid questions, get stupid prizes.”

And

Lilia walked off

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: uno (skip card), uno (+10 card)

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Cocoa

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They were shuffled in the same deck, bound by the same master. The card dealer’s unrelenting

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Dumb head who goes to murder the master guy. She got a knife to go stab him, because she used an uno reverse card and won the game blood is everywhere. After a while they wanted to play uno again, the boyfriend was supposed to help his girlfriend in uno but helped his girl bestie win instead. The girlfriend was suspicious she was mad obviously, so she decided to go kill him because that was the next best thing to do.

>:)

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She slowly creeped behind him, knife raised, before he turned around smiling. "Oh, welcome home!" He said. She quickly hid the knife, beaming with insincerity.

"Quite the tense game today, right?"

She nodded, still smiling. "Yeah. Didnt help some no-good, rotten bastard helped the other team, didn't it?" 

"H-huh? Haha, it's just a game sweetie..."

"Yeah? Well," She pulled out her knife, "I'm not playing."

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: riddle, salt's donut /j

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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Swirling around to Malleus's melody, Riddle felt content. Happy, even. Not ecstatic, though. He wanted to sleep and make sure the animal's temporal awareness wasn't so messed up they went into hibernation. He vaguely wondered how animals processed the frozen time, but was quickly drawn from his thoughts.

A dorm-member of his outstretched his hand, head in a slight bow. He was adorned in the skeleton costume, same as Riddle, but his make-up was smudged more. Likely from this stressful day. "May I have a dance, Dormleader?"

He smiled, a little smug, and nodded. He took his hand and they stepped around the room.

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He and the student spin and danced towards the middle of the room. He himself had been dressed up in a Queen of Hearts outfit, as the rules stated the dorm leader to do. 

Soon the song ended, and his partner left with a bow. Riddle nodded politely before turning and heading to the balcony. Who knew dancing was so exhausting?

He propped his arms up onto the railing and looked up at the stars. They were out tonight, and looked so beautiful. He wondered, would be one day join the stars above? Or would he forever be stuck on this Earth under his mother's control, doomed to never be free?

Well whatever his end would entail, he decided that he would enjoy his present freedom as much as he could, before he lost it all over again.

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: yellow whipped cream dount, chocolate donut

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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Yellow Whipped Cream Donut was on a conference call while her husband, Chocolate Donut was making dinner for the night when she heard it. A scream. Coming from her daughter's room.

She threw off her headphones and ran to Sprinkle Donut's room, slamming the door open, her husband not far behind.

Inside the room White Whipped Cream Donut stood, holding onto a knife which was going *through her daughter.* 

Yellow Whipped Cream Donut saw red.

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She screeched and her husband whipped around to her, the red soaking his dark, brown sweater black. He grinned, yellow-stained teeth on full display. 

Why? How could this happen? Tears began to fall. She knew what she had to do. She couldn't believe this. This man... The father of her daughter... The she kissed at the alter, split the cake with, split another and another and another and another cake with him. With that very same knife; her parents' wedding gift. Past down through her family, the mark of their acceptance of her and her career. Her marriage. And here it was, tearing her family apart. 

She lunged forward, reaching for *her* knife.

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She wasn’t exactly sure of the details next. It was a hazy mess of strawberry jam and an awfully irritating cleanup duty.

But she knew she couldn’t rest after the betrayal of her husband and cruelty hurled at her daughter. 

He had no right at all to destroy her family and expect her to pick up the pieces. Who the hell was he kidding? 

Well at least there’s another serving of cake tom[orrow].

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: glazed donut, strawberry sprinkle donut

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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All donuts are made from the same dough. Kneaded and gently formed with a perfectly symmetrical hole in the middle. Then cooked to a perfect golden brown before being shipped off to next part of the process.

But here in lies the dilemma.

Some donuts are never glazed, some have beautiful colors and fantastical designs and some are shipped off to never be seen again.

So it only felt natural for a mere glazed donut to feel envious of a strawberry sprinkled donut. Why wouldn’t he be?

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Why did he have to be so plain? So undesirable? So boring? Unlike the Strawberry Sprinkled Donut, who's pink icing shone and bright sprinkles had the most wonderful colors, making it stand so far above the rest.

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It was nearing the Strawberry Sprinkled Donut's birthday, and it declared it would bring a dessert tomorrow. The Glazed Donut expected a mile-tall tiered cake with extravagant decorations with the shiniest, more detailed sprinkles imaginable. 

However, when it did, it brought plain sugar cookies. The Glazed Donut blinked. It said something about "creating your own design and destiny." He thought it was bullshit, so he didn't decorate it.

At the end of the party, everyone showed off their designs, but Strawberry Sprinkled Donut ate none. It, however, was snacking on the un-decorated ones. It noticed Glazed Donut's bland cookie and smiled. "The icing really spoils the flavor, doesn't it?"

Being polite, he nodded.

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: malleus, vil

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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Malleus was loitering around Ramshackle, as always. He longed to peek inside, but, alas. The Child of Man was occupying the residency. He had offered many times a spot in Diasomnia for them, but they never accepted. He told Lilia and Lilia told him to stop pushing it, so he stopped.

Harsh clacks resounded on the pavement below him. Normally, he gave no time of day to his peers (as they did the same), but he thought it was the Child of Man. He glanced down the Ramshackle pathway and spotted the Housewarden of Pomefiore--Vil Schoenheit. 

They locked eyes and Malleus grinned. "Schoenheit, how are you this fine day?"

Vil almost grimaced, but kept his composure.

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Then he turned to see . . . Malleus had exploded.

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"..."

Vil stared at the flesh splattered on the concrete, and [at] the dark blood that landed on him.

He screamed.

"HELP!!!"

Yuu and Grim came running out of the door, quickly stopping when they saw the scene.

"WHAT HAPPENED????"

"i-I DONT KN-OW!" His voiced cracked. "Malleus was just- just saying *hello* and then, BAM! HE EXPLODED!!!????"

"Vil stay calm, breathe with me. Grim, go get the headmaster *now*."

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: 4chan, tumblr

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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4Chan and Tumblr. 

What more could be said about those two. They had a fling or two over the late 2000s with their demographics not being too different from one another.

But a certain shift in their dynamic changed things.

Suddenly 4chan users were the next big thing. The scary and cool hackers of the internet, they were both feared and loved. And used that skill to attack Tumblr.

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It was a random Tuesday, so nobody could've expected it. 4Chan users came in hard and fast, spamming Tumblr posts, hacking away at Tumblr accounts, and the app itself. 

Tumblr mods did the best they could, but Tumblr could feel itself deteriorating. It would take a miracle to save it. 

And suddenly, Elon Musk took over Twitter.

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"What the fuck??" they all said, in unity. They glanced back and forth at each other as Elon Musk smoked a blunt with a grin. 

4chan let go of Tumblr, throwing it to the ground. Tumblr hopped up and dusted itself off, gesturing to the mods to back off. 

"Well, well, well... Look who's here." 4chan grinned back, slinking closer to Elon.

Suddenly, a wall of bots emerged from behind him. All with pretty faces and grotesquely ai generated bodies. 

"Oh, fuck..." Tumblr muttered. It had its fair share of porn bots but.....

4chan glared at Tumblr, "Fuck are you doing just staring? You got laser eyes?"

Tumblr blinked at 4chan and frowned, stepping forward next to it. 

Together, they watched Elon's army of bots converge and morph into one super bot blanke

ted in twitter blue.

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: mika, nv cherio

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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After the Second Battle for Hoover Dam, New Vegas was on the up-and-up. They already developed a monorail, what was a roller coaster? 

It had been a hot minute since Cherio and Mika visited New Vegas, and Cherio was getting homesick. Mika tagged along, following close behind.

Once they arrived, Cherio marveled at the newest structures. To think humanity would develop a high-rise again... The reflection almost brought a tear to their eye. Instead, they looked at Mika's hesitant face and grinned, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside.

Once they got to the park, Cherio continued to hold Mika's sweaty hand. Sweaty from the heat, they were sure. "*Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter*" and all that.

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They entered the park hand in hand, and Cherio showed Mika all the rides they remembered from when they were young. 

They ended up playing on rides all day, and Cherio had even won Mika a giant cat plushie! When they left the park, it was dark, close to midnight, and decided impulsively to visit a bar. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, y'know?

They ended up in a bar nearby and stay for an hour. Both of them, were lightweights. Soon they became so drunk they got kicked out.

"Hey... Mika.. I *hic* have an idea.." Cherio stared at Mika

"...Hm?"

"Wanna get married..?" They flashed a smile.

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Mika in an very clearly inebriated state blurred out a very quiet “Yes”

And now they were here, in the middle of a vacant city, having a wedding in Vegas. A benefit of the apocalypse were that at least there was no expensive fees to pay anymore.

Then a second bomb hit.

Chapter Text

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: reddit, discord

WRITERS: Cherio, Salt, Eggs

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Reddit and Discord had a very civil relationship compared to their counterparts. That was mainly in part due to their user bases. If the overlap in users could be graphed it would be a circle.

It isn’t hard to get into one of your already invested in the other now is it?

Reddit and Discord were lounging around together. They invited 4Chan too but he was caught up in some war or something.

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Reddit had his scarred arm on the back of the couch, wife-beater covered in stains from god knows what. Discord, by comparison, was meeker. Not from insecurity, but apathy. They were both binging their favorite movies; Lolita, Fight Club, and What is a Woman.

Reddit took a bite of his pebble and glue pizza and Discord side-eyed him.

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"What, want a bite?" Reddit waved the slice in front of Discord.

"Hmm..." Discord hummed, staring at.. Reddit? What the fuck? The pizza is right in front of their fucking face, why stare at him?

Discord shifted to properly face reddit, and shoved his arm holding the pizza to the side. They put their hand on Reddit's face, and leaned forward into a kiss. Reddit instinctively closed his eyes, and kissed back. 

Reddit pushed back first, and sat shell shocked. What in the internet???

Discord kept their gaze on reddit, cheeks flushed, licking their lips and smirking.

"Not bad... Not bad at all."