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Toph isn't a lady. Ladies are weak-skinned and weak-willed and always fluttering away from the slightest hint of violence. They're doll delicate and painted pale. They don't speak above a whisper and take mincing steps. They are polite, soft, clean, demure.
Her mother is almost resigned. "A lady doesn't raise her voice."
"I know you have manners," Katara reminds her with a sharp look.
Toph isn't a damsel either; she isn't in distress. She doesn't need anyone to save her. She can fight her own damn battles.
"Ouch!" Aang yelps and jerks back. "I was just trying to help!"
"Hey, pipsqueak," her opponent jeers, "you actually think you can keep up?"
Toph isn't weak. She isn't delicate. She's only blind, not helpless.
"Look at that kid!" the boy taunts. "Thinks she's a real earthbender!"
The man laughs. "What can a blind little runt do to me?"
She is earth, and she is hard. Stubborn. Solid. Strong.
"Ready to die, little girl?" he asks with disdain.