Chapter Text
When Malleus woke up, he thought that something was weird. His room is still there, everything was just like he last remembered it. The dimmed light is not out of the world either, but what is differen-
Malleus blinked, waking up for years often not being enjoyable to him because of the small ‘pang’ in his head for months, but weirdly, today he woke up to a different feeling?
Not only does his mind not feel like it is being bound anymore, but his body also feels refreshed.
Malleus frowns in confusion. He got a constant checkup for this headache for months already by the court physician and they found nothing wrong. Frankly, Malleus expected he would wake up like that for the rest of his life, so, to have it gone like this…
Why so sudden? What triggered it?
Malleus’ thoughts were disturbed by the knock at his door. A familiar presence was there behind the door.
“...Lilia?”
Lilia opened the door excitedly, bringing boxes behind him with magic.
“Yo, Malleus, you’re feeling fine?”
Malleus felt a little suspicion with that seemingly harmless question. It’s not a rare moment for Lilia to ask him if he is fine but to enter his room just to ask that?
Not to mention the boxes…
Deciding not to say anything, Malleus nodded. “...Yes, what a coincidence for you to be asking, because my head has become lighter when I woke up… And anyway, what’s with the boxes here?”
“It’s a small gift. For you. You will certainly like it! Silver! Come and help me!”
Silver, who had been quietly waiting outside the room, peeked inside with a hesitant look on his face. His eyes turned to meet Malleus, and Malleus nodded.
“...You may come in.”
Silver bowed and walked toward Lilia. A moment later, they started opening the boxes right there on the spot.
“What are you two doing?” Malleus asked in curiosity.
“Arranging this so you can use this! This is a present for you! Congratulations on being more healthy than usual!”
“...It is not necessary.” Malleus murmured, “This ‘present’ seemed like it had been prepared in advance. ”
Lilia smiled, not saying anything. Silver behind him paused, frowning, but he shook his head and continued.
There’s some hint of sadness in Silver’s eyes. But why?
Deciding that sometimes there are things that don’t need to be pointed out, Malleus clears his throat, “Anyways, do tell me what that is,”
“It’s a TV!”
Malleus frowned.
“And, what am I supposed to do with it… Lilia, even I know what a ‘TV’ is, but my question is, do you really think that this is a good present for me, who is not particularly good with technology?”
“Of course! I took that into consideration. You don’t even need to know how to operate it! I will play a new video for you every day,” Before Malleus could ask more questions, Lilia stops him by putting a remote control with a blue button in his hand, “You just have to press this button to watch it!”
Malleus stared at the remote control, which is admittedly, simple, because there’s only one button on it. But he still frowns at it and turns his attention to Lilia, who has gone back to setting up the ‘TV’ with SIlver.
“Lilia, I don’t like where this is going.”
Lilia sighed, stopping his movement, then turned to Malleus.
“It’s fine! There’s nothing dangerous in it! Do you really think me and Silver would harm you?”
“You know what I’m talking about, Lilia.”
“...It’s fun entertainment for you.”
“And I need no entertainment,” Malleus murmured, he didn’t like being kept in the dark, and so his tone turned sharper, “Take those back with you.”
“Don’t be like that, Malleus. It’s… It’s a request from me, is it so hard for you to grant my simple request?”
Malleus frowned seeing Lilia’s puppy eyes. His appearance might be cute, but it couldn’t fool Malleus. He knew Lilia all too well for him to be deceived by such things. Although the puppy eyes do not affect Malleus, Malleus feels like there is nothing wrong with granting Lilia’s wish, but…
“What kind of video is it?” Malleus asked.
Lilia's puppy eyes were short-lived. His expression turned to that one of hesitation. He glanced at Silver, who had the same expression.
Hesitation… something that Lilia rarely showed.
“...Lilia?”
“Well, you know, just some vlog, I guess?” Lilia smiled, even with the hint of force.
“What is a vlog… nevermind. Lilia, if you do not want to tell me, then I shall not watch.”
“You can’t seriously be like that!”
“Lilia.”
Lilia groaned, “Okay! Fine! I just, I just want to introduce you to a dear friend of mine! Nothing less nothing more.”
“Who…? Just introduce us normally?”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Lilia pressed his lips together. He seemed like he was smiling for a moment, but, it was not a smile of someone happy, “After all, he’s indisposed.”
Malleus watched the new set-up TV in front of his bed and remote control with the button.
“Well, any more questions?” Lilia asked with a smile, Silver already left at some point.
“Yes, can you please explain this more clearly?”
“Where should I start... This TV will show a new video every day, the length is 30 minutes and there’s no pause. The button is set to tell you how many minutes have passed. Once you watch it, you can’t go back to watch the old video, but after you finish watching all of the videos, I’ll give you more things to explore.”
“And the video is about your friend…?”
“Yep.”
“How many videos are there?”
“One year's worth of videos. If you’re busy, you can stop watching it for a while and watch it later. I’ll set everything up, so you don’t have to worry.”
“Oh… is there anything I should do while having the video played?”
“Hmm, well, maybe keep a journal? so if there’s something you want to remember, you can note it down.”
“...Alright.”
“If there are no more ques-”
“Why?”
“Why… what?”
“No, why introduce your friend to me? Why we can’t meet normally? What is so important about them to me if you won’t even tell me who it is?”
Lilia forced a laugh.
“That’s for you to find out, have fun!”
Malleus stares as Lilia disappears from his room, then turns his attention to the TV.
“What kind of game are you playing, Lilia?” Malleus murmured. But even with those questions spinning in his head, Malleus still stepped out of bed, opening the desk where he had many unused journals.
It came to this point, might as well listen to Lilia’s advice.
With the TV in front of his bed, he can watch it while lying down, but he prefers a sitting position after all. Sitting up as comfortably as he could, with his notebook ready in his hand, Malleus finally pressed the button to play.
When the video played, it showed a pale man with blue fire as a hair. Malleus noticed from the camera's point of view that the worryingly thin man was sitting on the desk, facing the camera.
“...A Shroud…?” Malleus murmured, staring curiously at the mesmerizing moving hair.
“U- um, hello, is this camera on?”
Malleus knew that the question wasn’t his to answer, and even if he did, it would be useless, so he kept quiet, He watched the thin man glance to the side of the camera, nodding to whoever was there, then, when he apparently got confirmation, smiling awkwardly back to the camera.
“S- sorry, it’s my first time so I’m nervous… You must be confused, right? Why did Lilia tell you to watch my video every day… what’s worse is that I can’t edit it, so I purely record for 30 minutes, all of my mistakes included, and it gets sent to the drive. I- I was planning to edit it at first, but Lilia,” the man murmured the name while glaring at the side of the camera, finally making the realization that Lilia is the one beside the camera, “Told me he won’t grant my request if I edit out any embarrassing parts.”
The man sighed.
“Hah... congrats, you get to see embarrassing moments I will accidentally show in the camera. I hope that you can forget it... or maybe just forget me in general! I’m canceling this! This is too embarrassing!” The man stood up, trying to go away from the camera’s view. But someone stopped him, and that someone was Lilia. Malleus noticed the outfit that he often wore. Malleus had his doubts about Lilia's involvement in all of this, but his appearance in the corner of the screen made everything clearer. He watched the man and Lilia argue, and after a while, the man was finally seated.
“Uuu, first video, and I already embarrass myself…. I don’t- What should I do...” The man hides his face with his hand, seemingly mumbling. Malleus waited patiently for this man to explain something, but he wondered if he would get any information about this man at all. It’s been 15 minutes since he pressed the button, and the man hasn’t even revealed his name yet.
It seemed as if Lilia noticed that he would get impatient at this point and finally spoke.
“You can start by introducing yourself, you know?” The familiar voice was playful.
The man took his hand from his face, widening his glistening eyes.
"Oh no, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m-” The man paused, trying to calm himself, before smiling awkwardly at the camera again. “My name is Idia Shroud. Shroud, as in the noble family…? family that has been the guardian of Island of Woe? you know?”
That’s the information Malleus knows he should note. As he writes, Malleus nods in satisfaction. He’s been wondering if the man was affiliated with that family with some dark history because of the fire hair, and he’s quite happy that it is confirmed.
“Yeah, that. Um, I’m going to give you the basics for now before I start explaining more deeply in the next next video… I- I like candies, I like playing games, I like idols, I like anime, I’m good at technology, programming, and summoning. I also-”
Malleus’ hand rushed as he followed Idia’s talking who was getting faster and faster. Of all things on Idia’s list, he never said that he was good at… what did Lilia call that genre of music again? rapping?
“You’re talking too fast.”
Lilia’s voice came and saved Malleus. Idia stopped, then blushed. Malleus' eyes glint in amusement. Interesting, he never thought the fire hair would blush with his owner.
“Sorry. I- Ugh! Okay, enough about me, I’ll explain about the videos.” Idia gripped his fist tighter, “I know you will get bored if you see me every day-”
“He won’t, you can always tell him new information every day.” Lilia’s voice interrupted.
“I’m trying to focus here, Lilia-shi. Anyway, because of that, I will bring some guests sometimes! Lilia-shi won’t be with me in every video and there will be times when I’m alone, sorry. These videos will mostly consist of my experience with you.”
Malleus blinked.
Experience? How could it be? He just saw this man today?
“We’re friends. And you- you had this curse where you keep forgetting about me. So I will use this video to tell you about all things we did, and about me.”
“...what?” Malleus unconsciously asked although he knew Idia wouldn’t answer him.
“Then, that’sitfortodayvideo- ow! What was that for?!” Idia glared at Lilia who must have thrown something small at him, “That’s it for today's video, see you tomorrow… or, uh, next time.”
And the video ended.
Malleus went out of his room, checking the things he had written. He turned around when he felt Lilia's presence.
“Lilia.”
“So? How is it? What do you think of him?”
“He… looks tired.” That’s true, Malleus notices the unusual eye bag under his eyes. Not only tired, but he seems unhealthy overall.
“Isn’t he annoying?”
Malleus blinked, confused at the negative opinion Lilia had of his so-called ‘friend’.
“Harsh words. Is he not your friend? ”
“Of course he is! As annoying as he is... I want to know your first impression!”
“...talking about first.” Malleus frowned as he emphasized that last word., “He mentioned that I have some curse that causes me to forget about him, so this is not our first meeting... Could you, maybe explain more?”
“To tell the truth, he’s not only my friend but also yours.”
“Oh?”
“We eventually noticed that you started forgetting things, and well… him. So this idea appeared and became real.”
Malleus frowned, then nodded in agreement.
“I see. So he must’ve been my close friend?”
“What makes you think that?”
“If we were casual acquaintances, he wouldn't go to all this trouble just to make me remember him.”
“You’re right.” Lilia smiled brightly. Happy that Malleus got to guess it on its own.
Malleus though, wonders, how much he is worth to this person, for him to go to such lengths for him.
Malleus watches the videos every day. Whenever there’s time, he watches. Whenever he’s bored, he watches it. The videos fill Malleus’ day
He noted as Idia’s robotic brother appeared, watched as Idia pranked Sebek, making Malleus laugh at the sight, and found himself making silly dancing gestures together with Idia as anime songs played in the background. Songs that were vaguely familiar…
Many other things Idia brought to his life, sometimes even teaching him about the tech itself, making Malleus can’t wait for the day tomorrow. Malleus understands why they are close friends in the past.
What Malleus can’t understand is why he felt intense love toward this person.
After finishing a video, Malleus went up and got out of the room, to meet Lilia who was sipping on a juice.
“...Lilia.” Malleus murmured.
“How is it? Is there something new?” Lilia smiled, glancing behind Malleus to the closed room, “You went out only to look gloomy.”
“...He is fading away.”
Lilia’s face fell, “You are starting to forget him again?”
“No, Lilia,” Malleus's mind blanks away, trying to gather his thoughts, “He is dying.”
“...Is he in a hospital bed yet?”
“He will be?” Malleus asked, surprised.
“Whoops! Spoiler!”
That only makes Malleus more concerned.
“Will he be healed in the end? Every day he is pale, and the rich blue lips at the start of this video making are starting to become light blue. He-”
“Malleus, stop asking.”
Malleus frowned, but Lilia only replied with a smile, “Sorry, I’m not supposed to say anything more. I can just say he's indisposed.”
“...fine, but I don’t like it.” Malleus murmured, “I don’t like seeing him fading away while I can’t do anything to help. I want to see him more healthy, I want to see him happier.”
“Why?”
“Why you ask… it’s because he is precious to me… I-” Malleus stopped, widening his eyes.
Leaving the world in silence for a while, Lilia sighed.
“...Love him?” Lilia continued, raising his eyebrow, laughing when Malleus stared at him with disbelief.
“Why doesn't this seem surprising to you?”
“Because,” Lilia choked out between his laughter, “You’ve been in love with him since long ago! Hell, you’re the one who dragged him here with you.”
“I… did?”
“Yep.” Lilia smiled, nodding, “So don’t worry, you already made him happy in the past.”
“...” Malleus stares suspiciously at Lilia while the person in question tilts his head.
“What?”
“...One-sided love?”
“Oh! I need to help Silver with something! See you later!”
“Lilia-”
Lilia disappeared.
That knowledge doesn’t help.
Malleus can only feel his love grow day by day until it’s uncontrollable. It even makes Malleus take a few days off from watching the videos prepared.
What an unhonorable prince.
“You might feel ashamed of your love for him, but it’s normal,” Lilia said to him when Malleus watched the garden.
“...Normal?”
“You now might not have your past memories, but your past self is undeniable. Denying this feeling is denying all of Idia’s effort,” Lilia smiled, “So accept it, and be proud.”
Malleus should be grateful that he in the past got to experience Idia. And yet…
“Your eyes were shining, and you were like ‘I’ve never tried that before, would you mind doing it with me?’ and of course, I did it because it’s you and we ended up getting scolded by Lilia-shi.” Idia stifled a laugh, “That was amazing, it’s been such a long time since I got the chance to annoy Lilia-shi.”
Malleus watched it with dissatisfaction.
Is it normal to envy oneself?
The one in the past?
“You know,” Idia sighed, “Even with all those memories in the past, I still felt empty.”
Malleus raised his head in interest, finally ditching the notes he had been taking.
“...Because even if I have that all, I can’t be with you now.” Idia groaned, “So annoying, why do you always forget anyway?”
Malleus tuned out Idia’s complaint, and a happy feeling filled his heart.
See, past Malleus? Idia prefers him now.
“Hi… surprise…?” Idia grinned, waving his hand to Malleus.
But what leaves Malleus stunned, is not in fact that Idia has a different hairstyle. The ponytail looks good on him, Malleus will not lie about that. But what surprises him the most is-
…the fact that he is bound to a bed…
A medical bed.
“Are you-” okay? Malleus stopped himself, remembering what Lilia said when he first told him to watch the videos.
“Indisposed…” Malleus murmured, “...no way…”
“You might be wondering why am I here, with infusion here, and other medical techs. Well, there are some secrets I never told you.” Idia sighed, “I got a terminal illness, so you guess it, if Lilia doesn’t have more video to give you, that’s probably because I-” Idia paused, before giving a forced smile, “-died.”
Malleus winced, and he quickly turned off the video. What the hell was that? Somehow, Malleus felt scared to continue the video. Trying to calm himself, he left the room, leaving the videos to be untouched for a few days.
Malleus, has finally gathered himself.
Or that’s what he would like to tell himself.
With a mixed feeling, he plays the video again, continuing from what he left it previously.
“But no worries, it’s all going to be fineeeee~” Idia moves around in a childlike way as if trying to not make Malleus more worried, “I’m still strong enough to make videos for you even on my deathbed.”
“...”
“...I have a feeling you don’t like what I said.”
Malleus frowned. Of course, Malleus is not satisfied, how can this man that he loves die so soon, and he just accepts it and expects Malleus to be okay with it?
…If he could turn back time, somehow…
…Malleus wished he could hug him tight.
But he can’t because even if he turns back time, he is in fact, not loved by him.
Malleus groaned, loving a dead person. It’s Lilia's fault for giving him someone special that he might be better off don’t know-
…take that back, take that back, take that back!
“Now moving on to another secret,” Idia smiled, “This one will probably make you disgusted with me and stop watching these videos, or will make you more curious.”
This got Malleus’ ears, drifting him away from the overwhelming guilt and disbelief of what he just thought. What kind of possible thing would make him disgusted with the love of his-
“I love you.”
-life.
Idia blushed, and his hair went pinkish with him. It’s not a new sight for Malleus, but if it’s after a love confession, then it is a new sight.
“And I don’t mean this in a joking way, I literally love you, romantically, like I want you to be beside me forever and ever.” Idia murmured, “....Yeah, I’m kinda tired of going on video pretending to be your friend so I’m just saying, moving forward, I’m making videos as your lover.”
Pretending to be your friend? This means that-
“You and I have dated several times,” Idia smiled, “It was all a good time.”
Then why have we dated several times?
“We also never broke up,” Idia cleared that out for him, “It’s just that…”
Hesitation filled Idia's face, and Malleus could feel where this was going, and he really didn’t want to hear i-
“....you always forget.”
The rest of the video is Idia explaining which stuff he gave to Malleus, and Malleus just now notices that the pillow that Malleus uses has Idia’s signature on it. It’s interesting to see how much of Malleus’ things are actually stuff given to him by Idia.
Although watching the videos was fun overall, when they ended, they always left Malleus broken.
It was clear, the moment Idia murmured that he always forgets, the gloom and sadness that haunts the room is more intense than usual. Malleus feels disbelief, his feelings mixed up as one.
They love each other.
They’ve always loved each other.
Then…why can’t they have each other??
Why is it that Malleus always forgets??
Sometimes Malleus wonders, what is it that he does, to have someone love him so dearly, and sacrifice the rest of his life, just to make Malleus remember him again?
Malleus decides he is going to fight whoever is there that holds them back together.
“What are you doing?”
Malleus blinked, turning around to meet Lilia's disapproval stare.
“I was searching for spells,” Malleus murmured.
“What spell?”
“...Time travel.”
“Malleus!” Lilia yelled sternly, “This is not what he wanted you to do! Time is also not to be messed up!”
“So? Did he really just make that video only for me to remember and not do anything?”
“Yes.”
Malleus stares in disbelief, then shakes his head. “...That’s unimaginable.”
“Even if you did go back in time, it’s useless, as long as he’s alive, you will always forget about him.”
Malleus felt anger, and he barely smoothed it out before spitting out, “Just what is it that curses me with those conditions? Tell me who and how, and I will consider stopping searching for ways to mess with times.”
Lilia stayed quiet, then smiled mockingly. Malleus widened his eyes in disbelief and was about to say more things before Lilia cut him.
“It’s because of you both curses.”
“...Huh?”
“It cancels each other out, but curses can never go away that easily,” Lilia shrugged, still keeping that smile, “It makes a new curse.”
“...”
Lilia left that day, although not before taking all the research Malleus had done.
Malleus stares at the sky from his balcony, the sky which is supposed to be clear blue is now grey.
So in the end, it’s both of our faults?
“Lilia predicted you would try to break the taboo,” Idia told him during the last bits of today’s video, “I ask you not to.”
“...”
“Do I want us together, hell yeah, but not this way. You’ll forget about me again or you can be thrown into another completely different timeline, so no, you aren’t risking yourself.”
Malleus stares painfully at Idia who keeps rambling on about reasons why he shouldn’t do it.
“Then what am I supposed to do?” Malleus murmured, his eyes staring intensely at Idia who was still rambling as if he couldn’t hear him.
…Who is Malleus joking to? Idia, can not be denied, can’t hear him at all. In fact, he probably didn’t know Malleus would be talking to him today.
“...Hey, Idia, can’t you accept my love?” Malleus whispered, “Don’t you know that I would give my whole world just to talk to you?”
“It has lots of disadvantages, totally not worth it.”
“I want to talk to you properly, not in a one-sided way, I want to say something, I want you to give your thoughts about it. Am I wrong for just wanting that normal interaction with you?”
“I don’t want you lost in time! It’s a nightmare for me-”
Malleus puts his head on his hand, and can’t bear to hear more. It’s useless, Idia can’t properly reply. Why can't there just be a chance for him to talk to Idia in a way that normal people could? There must be a way. Malleus just had to find-
“...Malleus,” Malleus winced as Idia calls his name. He raised his head, meeting Idia’s sad eyes.
“Let me hold this burden for you, please don’t think to revert time or anything, please just let me keep this pain to myself,” Idia gave a little smile, “...But thank you, for thinking about it.”
Malleus watches the sadness in Idia’s face even as he smiles, and he feels his whole body in despair.
What kind of a person, could handle seeing their love handle all of the world’s burdens, while they can’t do anything?
“Idia,” Malleus murmured, “Are you asking me to be a monster?”
In the end, Malleus listens to Idia.
He can’t do things with Lilia keeping an eye on him too.
so he seated obediently, enjoying the video dutifully.
He keeps doing that, even if his heart is crushed seeing the love of his life's terminal illness eating him away.
After so many videos, almost a year. Just two left based on what Lilia said. Malleus seat again, watching and wondering if this all ends, what is he going to feel? Too busy in his own thoughts, he didn’t notice as Idia was forcing himself to talk more cheerfully before a full silence hit the room. Instantly focused, Malleus watched Idia’s sad smile.
“...it’s night here.” Idia decided to say.
Malleus blinked, noticing the abnormal atmosphere.
“Um, today, as always, you forget about me… Well, I introduced myself to you again, and you are pleased to meet me, as always. And I…” Idia drifted, staring at nothing, “....show you the flower that you found yesterday, you say that it looks similar to me… again.”
Idia stayed quiet, then gave a weak smile.
“We talked again, and you said that I was really fun to talk to. And I said I love you.”
Malleus felt anguish fill his veins.
“You said- you said we just met.” Idia sobbed, “You said we just met.”
“I- I had enough, every day you always forget, what if it’s a lie? what if even after I died, you still forget?!” Idia hides his face in his hand.
“I’m tired, I hate you, I hate loving you. I hate you!” Idia shouted at the camera, slamming his hand on his bed.
“I had hope and love. Me, Me of all people should’ve understood those are useless. I’ve wasted 2 years of my life because of hope, I stayed 6 years because of love. I have more things I could’ve done and spent, To make my life worth it, yet I-” Idia stopped, his hand was trembling, and he shook his head.
“Every day is the same, you ask for my name, and I say my name. I’m sick of it, I even start to hate my name, I can't handle questions anymore, I fucking hate this world.”
Malleus stays stunned at the words that are suddenly thrown at him. For a good minute, he only watches Idia cry. Pain and distress surround him, as he can’t do anything, as it happens in the past, as Idia is not… here… with him…
It all happens in the past.
After a while, Idia took his face out of his hand and then stared at the camera.
“Is this the prize for being the strongest? To forget everyone you loved until the day of their death? to stay alone forever?” Idia asked with a strained voice, “Or is this the punishment for me? for all the sin I’ve done? For the mistakes, I’ve made? To have my loved one forget about me every day? Is this a punishment for you or me?”
Malleus opened his mouth, but no voice came out. Unconsciously, a tear fell from his eyes. He stays speechless as Idia stares at him with a bitter smile.
“Is it worth it?”
The video ends and leaves Malleus with a clenching heart.
“I don’t want to watch the next video.” Malleus quietly said to Lilia. Lilia turned, surprised.
“What happens? Why-” Lilia stopped watching Malleus’ eyes, “...you cried.”
Malleus nodded solemnly, then sighed.
“What is in the video?”
“Why do you agree to this?”
“Answer my question.”
“...He regrets things.” Malleus gritted his teeth “If you want me to love him only for him to scream at me saying he hates me, you’re being unnecessarily cruel.”
“I… don’t watch the videos, sorry,” Lilia admitted, “Are you sure you don’t want to watch the next one? It’s longer than usual?”
“To have what? Him crying in front of me again?”
“...How about I watch the video first, and if he’s saying negative things to you, I won’t let you watch the video?”
Malleus frowned, that seemed like a good offer, but he disliked knowing that his moments with Idia were known to Lilia.
But is Malleus’ heart strong enough for another hit with a hammer?
“...I’m going to watch it myself,” Malleus finally murmured, “Just… give me time.”
“...Give you time for what?”
Malleus blinked, “Well, to have answers for every-”
“Have you thought clearly about it?”
“...”
Right.
Idia is dead.
Since long ago.
“...Yeah, you need some time,” Lilia smiled painfully, “Let’s take a break.”
“Hi. You know, thank you for watching all those videos-”
Malleus stared at the new video that was playing.
After months of not having any bravery to touch the video, Malleus finally sat down and watched it.
Well, he will go for a long time after all.
Royal duties can not be ditched, and even if Malleus doesn’t want his heart to be smashed into pieces again, his heart aches for Idia.
Malleus sighed, telling Lilia about his acceptance, he could feel disapproval from his gaze, but Lilia had no choice but to let him view the last video.
Malleus is now ready for this, and although will get hurt if Idia screams again at him, he will accept it.
After all, Malleus was the source of all his suffering, and this heart was always his to break.
“I’m sorry for yesterday.”
...?
“...It was wrong for me to do that, you must be shaken, huh?” Idia grinned tiredly, “I regret doing that.”
“...but it was the truth, no?” Malleus whispered to himself, “Of course, you will be tired if you keep loving me, who always forgets.”
“If I can, I will delete yesterday’s video, but I can’t, so now I just gotta do what I can do.”
Malleus blinked when the video format changed to a new video, and his eyes widened more when he saw himself and Idia in an NRC uniform.
“Brother! You and Malleus Draconia-san should do couple poses!” A familiar voice, a robotic one, came in, and Malleus understood that the one who took this video was Ortho.
“What? no. it’s cringe.” The Idia there immediately refused, but Malleus beside him stared at him.
“What?”
“...”
“No.”
“...”
“No!”
“...”
“Oh fuck sake, okay! Fine!”
A picture appeared with them doing sailor moon poses.
Malleus watched with interest, Idia was angry, but he didn’t feel any rage inside him.
The video continued, and Malleus kept watching. The video kept giving sweet moments of them, and Malleus could feel his tears threatening to fall.
All the emotions in those clips are taken from Ortho’s perspective.
He could feel all of them.
Even as Idia sobs in his bed after a fight with Malleus.
He still could feel the love.
The short video finally ended, and Malleus did not have time to think anything of it, as the video had already moved back to its previous format.
“I’m back, how’s the video?” Idia smiled, “It’s embarrassing the include me crying, but I want the video to be as true as possible.”
“Again, I’m sorry.”
“Yesterday, I… heard my time was going to end. Frankly, I feel upset.” Idia sighed, "I felt rage and hatred. But never to you, it was never you.”
“It was to our condition. I… am so upset. There is a fickle of hope there that you might remember me while I make these videos, but it never happens, and now I’m going to die, I can’t accompany you, and I…” Idia's expression turned painful,
“I have to accept that I can’t be with you anymore.”
Malleus could feel no lies in Idia’s words, and he lamented the fact that Idia was right. He was about to be swallowed in bitterness when Idia suddenly raised his voice and his way of talking got faster.
“I was so angry, and I ended up lashing out at you. but the truth is, of course I love you! Your whole being, even your ugly, I want everything! I’m willing to fight the world for you, Malleus, I made these whole videos for you. Obviously I really really love you?! If stopping loving you means I get to go to heaven, I happily walk myself to hell. I would do all those things for you.”
Malleus blushes when Idia starts listing out how Malleus is the most perfect man in the world. It was getting embarrassing until Idia stopped, then stared at the camera intensely.
“You are.”
a pause.
“My only devotion.”
The video ends.
He must’ve stayed in his room long enough for it to receive a knock.
“...Come in,” Malleus murmured, already knowing who was going to enter.
Lilia enters, tilting his head at Malleus’ unreadable expression.
“Did he scream at you again?”
“...No.” Malleus turns his head to his window, “He apologized.”
“Is that all?”
Classic Lilia, always knew something more was going on.
Malleus took a deep breath and let it out, still not staring at Lilia, he asked.
“...How is his funeral?”
“It’s a private one, only a few attend. It’s quiet, but Idia should’ve enjoyed that,” Lilia smiled with a shrug, “He always been the one to complain about crowds, after all.”
“...You could’ve invited me to his funeral.”
“You would’ve refused.”
Malleus gave a half-hearted smile, then finally turned to Lilia.
“Where is he buried?”
2 years later, under the rain, Malleus walked briskly, not caring about the water droplets that kept hitting his face.
Today is the official end of his royal duty.
A time to visit Idia.
Opening a gate to a beautiful garden, Malleus found a tombstone, with eloquent writing on it.
Idia Shroud.
His grave is protected, so Malleus easily comes in front of it to escape the rain. Seeing the grave, Malleus smiled.
“I brought candies, Idia.”
Sitting in front of the grave, Malleus peeled the candy from its wrapper. Malleus was not a fan of the type of sweets Idia ate, but Idia was, and that is enough reason for Malleus to eat it.
“I’ve finished my royal duty, Lilia gave me more videos that you created, a special, I can say.” Malleus scoffed, still with the smile, “You’re bold for hiding that you made more videos for me.”
Eating candies in front of the grave, Malleus talked about his varied experiences. He talks as if Idia is there to listen to him. Just like how Idia talked to him in those videos.
The rain that accompanies them slowly comes to a stop, and Malleus notices it is time to go when he senses Lilia’s presence at the garden gate.
“...I’ll eat this last candy for you,” Malleus smiled again to Idia, “Thank you for always loving me, Idia.”
Turning around, he is met with Lilia's shocked face.
“...Lilia? Are you alright?”
“Yeah… it’s just…”
“What?”
Lilia shook his head.
“No, never mind. Come on, let’s go.”
Malleus tilts his head, but steps outside the garden, leaving Lilia to lock the gate again.
Lilia stares at the grave from outside the gate as Malleus walks away.
“You still kept watch of him, huh? Idia?” Lilia grinned, before finally walking away.
What Lilia saw, was Idia’s vague image hugging Malleus from behind.