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It wasn’t like he liked her, or anything. There was no way in hell you could like someone after three days. But she was so funny, and her green eyes sparkled when she laughed, and she liked to talk and travel, and-
“Lutherrr.” Annie waved a hand in front of his face and laughed. “Dumbass. I was calling your name for like, ten seconds.”
“What? Oh, sorry.” He blushed. “Yeah. Right here.”
The sounds of the Mexican restaurant they were eating at that day slowly started to filter back in. The colorful overhead lights and glasses clinking, and the fryer cooking something that smelled delicious. They’d been in Carlsbad, New Mexico for four days now. Five dragged them all onto a cavern tour that day, and the day before that, a hiking tour of the nearby nature preserve. Coincidentally, Annie had been on both of them, and that’s when they started talking. Apparently, she was traveling alone from New York, and seemed to glom onto his family immediately. It was an amazingly happy accident, really. So happy in fact, that he’d mustered up the courage to invite her to eat with them before heading back to the hotel. Even more strange, Annie had been staying at the place right across the road from them. He wasn’t quite sure how well the rest of his family would react to her, but something about her felt so magnetic, and he decided that it wasn’t something he was going to let go so easily.
“So, Annie, what brings you to Carlsbad?” Klaus asked.
“Oh, well after my mom died last year, I said fuck it and bought a van. Decided to hit all the national parks.”
“That’s amazing.” Luther said, turning to Viktor. “Isn’t that amazing?”
“Sure, man.” Viktor laughed.
“Our dad actually passed away last year, too.” Klaus said.
“But it’s complicated.” added Diego.
“Well yeah, of course.” Annie replied. She placed her hand on Luther’s thigh. “I don’t think your situation could be that different from mine, though. I mean, parents die and then you realize how much they fucked you up, right?” She let out a dramatic sigh. “Just so glad I found you guys though. Feels like the family I never had.”
Allison rolled her eyes, and Diego must’ve noticed, because he nudged her. “So, Annie, what do you do for work?” she asked.
“I actually work remote right now for this healthcare insurance company. So I do a lot of calls and adjustments on things. And if I’m being honest, a lot of communicating with different people, you know? It takes quite a lot of emotional labor, too. I’ve been in the business for a while, actually, and a lot of my coworkers are just SO incompetent at their jobs, like, I can’t believe it. No one really puts quality time into the hiring process anymore. I mean, when they hired me, they did. But that era is long gone now, I guess.”
Lila gave Annie a quick smile and opened her phone to text Viktor.
Lila: Holy fuck this woman gives me heartburn
Viktor: Omg me too. Gotta make sure Five doesn’t strangle her lol.
“Oh my god, what are those?” Annie said a little too loudly, pointing at Klaus’s dog tags. “Dave Katz?”
“Oh well, you know, it’s just one of those things that’s a little hard to explain.” he shifted nervously in his chair.
“I can’t imagine a scrawny little thing like you going to war!” she laughed. “But seriously, what pawn shop did you find these at? I mean dog tags are sort of useful these days, for me at least! Sometimes if I can find some old ones laying around I’ll pick ‘em up and pretend that I lost my boyfriend in Afghanistan. Gets me a discount at the bar sometimes.”
Klaus let out a laugh, looking deflated as he chugged the rest of his drink, and Diego put a hand on his arm to steady him. Luther opened his mouth to change the subject, but Annie kept talking.
“So Viktor, Five, Allison, Diego, Lila, and Klaus with the dog tags, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s us.” Viktor muttered.
“Any other questions?” asked Lila.
“No, no. I’ve just loved meeting all of you so far. I mean, you guys seem like such a great family to be around. Of course, my family life sucked, so anything would be better than what I went through.”
Allison laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure it sucked. I bet you went through so much.”
“I did! And I really would like to talk about it with you guys later, but, you know. Trauma dumping over lunch is tacky.”
“No, not at all.” Viktor scoffed. “I mean, you’re fine around us.”
“Aw, really? That’s so sweet of you to give me a space like that.” Annie simpered. Before she could say anything else, their food came.
“Refill on your margarita?” The waitress pointed to Annie.
“Yes, please!” Annie exclaimed. She giggled to herself. “Oh, and is there a chance you could get the guy over here a free one? See the dog tags?” She motioned to Klaus.
“Oh, sorry ma’am, I don’t think so,” the waitress started.
“No, no, I insist! Look at his traumatized eyes! Look how muscular and brave he is!”
“Annie, it’s fine, really.” Klaus started to go pale. “I don’t think that’s-you don’t need to-”
“Yeah, I’m sorry ma’am, we need to see that military ID before we give out the discount. Restaurant policy.” The waitress slinked away. Diego whispered something to Klaus and he nodded, switching seats with Allison. Annie didn’t seem to be aware of all this, but Luther‘s face got hot when he saw Klaus staring glumly down at his food.
______________________________________________________________
“You know, I’ll be the first to say it.” Lila said as they walked to the car. “She’s a bitch and I get a bad feeling about her.”
“Well damn, tell me how you really feel, Lila.” Luther sighed. “Look, I get that she can be a lot, but can you please not ruin this for me? Annie is the first person outside of…all this. The academy, and Dad, and the apocalypse. So please don’t take that away from me, okay?”
Everyone shuffled quietly into the car as Allison drove to the hotel.
“No, you know what? We’re not done with this conversation.” Diego said. “She’s a self absorbed asshole who loves attention.”
“And she humiliated Klaus in front of everyone!” Viktor exclaimed.
“Oh my god, will everyone please just shut up?!!” Luther shouted. “Sorry. But please. Please, just this once, if you’ll let me tell you more about her, then maybe you’ll like her more.”
“I doubt that.” Allison rolled her eyes and Five laughed.
“Sure, Luther, tell us some fun facts about her! I’m sure it’ll redeem whatever the hell that was back there!”
“Okay, okay. Well, you just didn’t see it today, but she’s actually very sweet. She volunteered at a nursery every weekend before she left New York.”
“Like for babies?” Diego sounded confused.
“For plants. And she loves to travel, and bake, and write poetry. She’s amazing. And I know that sometimes she drinks a little too much, but haven’t we all?”
“We haven’t humiliated each other in front of a waitress at a Mexican restaurant before.” Allison said. “Ever.”
“I know. I’m sorry about what she said, Klaus.” Luther turned to look at him.
“No, you’re good, man.” he sighed. “She didn’t know. But she’s just giving off bad vibes to me. Like, Peabody vibes.”
“Why's everyone saying that? God.”
“It’s because we’ve already been through it with him.” Five pointed at Viktor.
“Yeah, and look how that ended up.” Diego said. “He got impaled by knives and silverware and ended up dead on the kitchen floor.”
“At least I learned from it though!” Viktor yelped. “After him, I dated a hot farm girl and it was the best two months of my life.”
“How about we play a game where we don’t talk to each other for the rest of the day?” Luther replied. “Is that okay with everyone?”
“Oh, I would love that.” said Allison. “We’re here, by the way.”
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Everyone was tired after the cave tour, so it wasn’t long until everyone fell asleep-Viktor, Klaus, and Five in one room and Allison, Luther, Diego, and Lila in the other. Luther laid on a sleeping bag between the two beds. He couldn’t sleep. He kept thinking of Annie, alone, at a hotel across the street. She had no family left since her mom had passed. No siblings to watch out for her. His mind kept seeing her, so small, in the big air conditioned room. Cold and lonely on the big white bed, and his heart ached.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
He held the gum wrapper with her number written on it like it was some sort of delicate flower, and dialed the number in the hotel lobby.
“Hello?” she croaked.
“Hey, Annie. Sorry, did I wake you?”
“Oh, no. Just fell asleep. Shouldn’t have fallen asleep.”
“No, you should rest. That cave tour was tiring today, huh?” The line crackled with static and he anxiously hoped she hadn’t put down the phone.
“Yeah, totally.”
“Um, I was wondering if you wanted to come over to have breakfast tomorrow? I mean, for a hotel, it’s actually pretty good. They have pancakes and this little fridge with yogurts and things-”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. I’ve been eating those fake eggs and the dry bagels for the last three weeks.” she yawned. “I’m so tired.”
“Oh, well, we don’t have to if you don’t want to! I’m sure one of my brothers could recommend a place.”
“No, no, I would love to, actually. I’ll meet you at 8am sharp tomorrow. Your hotel. Sorry, I need to go. I have a headache.”
“I hope you feel better. See you-” the line went dead before he could finish, but he smiled like an idiot as he wandered back up to the room.
______________________________________________________________
Everyone was down for breakfast at eight, when he met Annie in the lobby. She hugged him and grabbed his hand.
“Thanks for inviting me! You’re the best! Oh, and it smells so amazing in here.” She closed her eyes and took a big breath.
“Really? I thought you hated hotel breakfasts yesterday. I mean, when I called you, you said-”
Her hand clamped down on his more tightly. “Well, I was hungover, so it doesn’t count.”
“Right.” he gave her a small smile.
“Well, what are you standing there for, dumdum? Let’s go eat!”
He could feel everyone’s stares as he and Annie sat across from each other at a table near the window.
“Why aren’t we sitting with them?” Annie asked, taking a bite of her eggs.
“Oh, they’re not exactly what you’d call morning people. Always in a horrible mood in the mornings, actually.”
She looked disappointed. “That’s a shame. They’re so entertaining.”
“So, you like to travel?” He asked. “I’ve actually never been out of my hometown before, but I’ve been to the moon.”
“What?” she giggled. “You’re lying. You don’t look like an astronaut.”
“I’m not lying. I-I was up there. For four years.” He started to feel his stomach tighten. The same feeling that washed over him when other people stared for too long.
“Then what was it like, Major Tom?” she laughed.
“Cold. Quiet. Lonely. To be honest, I don’t remember much of it, I mean it was only four years, so-”
“That sucks. I was in Utah once and it looked like the surface of Mars.”
______________________________________________________________
They spent their last day in Carlsbad going hiking (again) and getting dragged to whatever Five found interesting. By 7pm, everyone was exhausted, hot, and irritated as they sat down for dinner at an Applebee’s. And by 9pm, everyone was asleep. Luther hadn’t seen Annie that day, and he was beginning to worry. Was she okay? Had she been day drinking again? Or worse, had she decided to drive to a bar for the evening? He looked out the window into the moonless night. The lights of the city sparkled like some sort of poisonous candy. Everything looked so tiny and far away, and for a second, he felt the cold emptiness of space sneaking around him again. He laid down on his sleeping bag again and tried to get to sleep, but that empty feeling kept creeping up on him. Canned oxygen and soy paste and trash bags piled near his bed on the spaceship. He’d started to hear voices right before he came back down. Started to see flashes of knives and uniform shoes and monocles hanging there in the light.
Tears suddenly sprang to his eyes.
He tried to count sheep or hold his breath. Nothing helped. He was about to go down to the lobby when the phone on the nightstand rang.
“Hey, Luther.” It was Annie. She didn’t sound hungover, at least.
“Annie.” He smiled.
“How are you? You feel up to doing something tonight?”
“Sure. Uh, what did you have in mind?”
“I don’t know, I just wanted to talk. I was thinking that we could go back to my room. Have some drinks, maybe. I can pick you up in 10 minutes.”
______________________________________________________________
“Well, welcome to my humble abode.” Annie opened the door for him. The Titanic was playing on the TV and the room looked pretty clean. She had stashed her liquor bottles near the bed, and it looked like she had already set two shot glasses out. She pranced over to the bed and motioned to him.
“Come on! You want a drink?”
The bed sagged awkwardly under his weight as he sat down.
“Sure, but I really don’t drink that often, so-”
She poured him some vodka and mixed it with cranberry juice, filling the two shot glasses in the process.
“Don’t be such a goddamn party pooper.” She sighed. “My mom died a year ago this week. I want you to take a shot with me.”
His stomach dropped, and the room seemed to get hot. The lights felt like flashbulbs in his eyes, and all he wanted was to be back in the hotel room with the people who drove him insane. They made fun of him and stole his things and picked fights, but he never felt cornered around them. Not like he did now.
“Sure.” He smiled, and hated himself for it.
_____________________________________________________________
Twenty minutes later, he found himself trying to figure out a way to leave. Annie had taken several more shots since then, and she inched closer and closer to him. Their thighs were touching now, and he felt chills go up his arms. She leaned into him.
“You know, sometimes I just get so lonely. I don’t have siblings like you. My mom is dead.” her voice cracked. “No one. I have no one.” She began to whimper, and Luther patted her shoulder.
“It’s okay. I used to think that, too. But we all have people, right?”
“Not me. I don’t have people.”
His eyes shifted to the cell phone on the nightstand. “Hey, I’m sure you do. You just have to find them.”
“Are you one of them?” She looked up at him with hazy, unfocused eyes.
He gulped. “I could be.”
“That’s good.” She leaned into him, hard, almost throwing herself into his lap. Then she got up to pour herself another drink, and he followed.
“Ah, ah, ah.” She singsonged. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“I’m sorry, but I really need to go. My brother wanted me to bring him some donuts from the diner across the street and I completely forgot.”
She shoved him back down onto the bed, hard. “Luther. He can fucking wait.”
He hit the bed with a thud, so terrified that he found himself unable to move. He couldn’t leave now. And then, suddenly, he felt her weight on top of him. And her lips pushing into his. Hard.
She grabbed his shoulders and crawled up him, straddling his torso with her legs. Her tongue slid across his lips and into his mouth, and he could taste cigarettes and the stale acidity of vodka, and it made him sick. He tried to pull away, but she held his head there with both hands, gripping onto him so tight that his chest felt like it was getting squeezed into a little can. She began to press herself into him, running her hands up his chest and across his biceps.
He couldn’t breathe. She kept kissing him over and over, and he could only let out a few noises of protest. Nobody could possibly know what was going on, let alone the people he needed the most right now. He tried as hard as he could to make his body drift away piece by piece. Something he had learned on the moon when looking at himself got too hard. But it was all too much. Her spit in his mouth, and the weight on top of him, and the realization that he was trapped here and there was no way out.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, but she made no move to get up. The noise startled Luther enough to snap him out of whatever trance he had been in.
“Hey, baby! I have food!” The voice at the door said. Luther gasped and shoved Annie off of him. She flew off the bed and into the dresser nearby. He heard a crack and a pained whimper as she crumpled to the floor. She looked up at him for a second before starting to sob, like a child who didn’t get what they wanted at a toy store. He froze.
“Fuck, is that what I get for kissing you?” she said wetly. “Get your ugly ape ass out of my sight. I never want to look at you again.”
“Baby, what’s going on in there?” The voice from the door came.
“GET OUT!” she screamed. Luther ran out the door, panting and crying, barely noticing the man standing outside with the bag of food, and sprinted for the elevator.
It was so quiet in the elevator that for a second, he couldn’t register the way his head spun or how his heart felt so sick, like it would leap out of his throat onto the floor. She had felt so hungry while she kissed him, and it made him want to rip his skin off. Throw it in the trash somewhere. Never see it again. The elevator got down to the ground floor, and he stumbled out into the lobby, past the person at the desk, into the night. Maybe it was something about the air outside or the shock of what had just happened, but before he could stop himself, he threw up into a bush. He could feel the old fear and the old confusion spring up again as a sob escaped his body. It was like waking up on the operating table again. Cold. Ugly. Alone. Afraid. No one would ever look at him the same.
He couldn’t remember how he got home, or how many streets he had crossed to get there. Even though Annie’s hotel was right across the road, he felt like he was walking blind, through a haze of tears and sweat and the sour taste of bile still on his tongue.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The sound of heavy breathing woke Diego first. He turned on the lamp and Luther stood right in front of him, like someone had just chased him through an alleyway and then screamed in his face. There were tear tracks on his cheeks and his shirt looked wrong, like someone had taken it off and put it back on without looking. He leaned against the door and slid down it until he was sitting there, that same scary look of panic on his face.
Then he started crying.
“Woah, woah, woah, dude. What the hell?” Diego whispered. “It’s like, one thirty in the morning. Where have you been?”
“What’s going on?” Allison asked sleepily. “Luther?”
Luther spluttered and tears sprang to his eyes as he sat there in front of Diego and Allison, speechless.
Diego crouched down in front of him. “Hey. Whatever the hell is going on, you need to tell us right now, okay? Something feels off. Is that true?”
“He’s saying you need to use your words, moron.” Lila mumbled from the bed.
“Lila, shut up.” Allison snapped.
“What?”
“She-she kissed me,” Luther started, “We were watching a movie, and-and she kissed me.”
Diego got up from the floor to sit next to Allison on the bed. “Hold on. Who did?”
“Annie. You met her in the cave the other day, remember? And the restaurant?” Luther swiped at his face with his sleeve, and Diego’s stomach dropped. He hadn’t ever seen Luther so distraught about anything, and it scared him.
“You mean the red haired one? Made fun of Klaus?”
Luther nodded. “It was late, and I couldn’t sleep.” He started to get choked up again.
“Hey. Breathe.” Diego said. “She’s not coming anywhere near you on our watch, okay? Keep going.”
“She called me, and asked if I wanted to meet up with her. She likes to stay up late and watch movies, and I thought we could maybe go to the waffle house down the street or something, just to talk and have coffee, but when we got to her room-” He started to get choked up again. “When we got to her room-she shut the door behind her and asked me if I wanted a drink.”
“A drink? This late? In her room? Alone with you?” Allison exclaimed.
“She started crying and hugged me, and she told me that-that her mom died a year ago today too, like Dad. And then she put on some movie and we sat on her bed. And she kept sitting closer and closer until we were touching. I wasn’t even there for thirty minutes when she-she-.” His shoulders drooped and he put his head into his hands. “I can’t do this. I can’t.”
Allison scooted down from the bed. “Luther, can I grab your hand?”
He nodded.
“Diego’s right. We won’t let anything happen to you here. But you need to keep talking, okay?”
“I-okay.” He took a deep breath. “Well, she pushed me back onto her bed and got on top of me. And that’s when she started kissing me.”
“Jesus, Luther.” Lila unfolded herself from the blankets and propped herself up on her elbows. “That’s terrifying. I’m sorry.”
“I felt like I was frozen or something,” he continued. “And then it was like my powers kicked in and I pushed her off of me. And she hit the dresser with her back and started crying. God, I’m such a monster.”
“But how did you get back?” Diego asked. “Her place is across the street. Oh, no, did you-?”
Allison scoffed. “You’re kidding me. After all of that, you walked back here?”
Luther swiped at his eyes. “I always carry a little penlight with me.”
“Shit, I’m so sorry, man.” Diego said.
Lila scooted down from the bed next to Allison. “Why didn’t you call one of us to walk you back?”
Luther’s voice was barely above a whisper. “I don’t know. I started to get dizzy and then I remembered how she hit the dresser and she started crying, and I don’t deserve a car ride, I hurt her. I hurt her so bad..”
Allison frowned. She’d never looked at him that sadly before. “You were trying to protect yourself. It’s not your fault.”
“But-.”
Lila got up from the bed and sat down next to Allison, looking him straight in the eye. “It’s a power thing. You didn’t know what you were getting yourself into, but she did. You did what any of us would do in that situation. So stop blaming yourself.”
“What’s going on?” Viktor came out of the adjoining room.
“Some asshole pulled Luther into her room-” Diego said.
“And kissed him.” Lila finished.
“Shit. Are you okay?”
Luther shook his head. The lump in his throat was too big for him to talk and his eyes stung from the tears.
“Here. You’re safe, Luther, okay? No one’s coming in here on my watch.” Viktor grabbed a pack of tissues from the nightstand and handed it to him. He sat next to Diego. “Do you know who it was?”
“That bitch Annie. From the restaurant.” Lila replied.
“The one that made fun of Klaus?”
She nodded.
“I never told her to stop.” Luther bit out. “Is it still her fault if I never told her to stop?”
“Yes, it obviously is!” Viktor exclaimed.
“Yeah, just because you didn’t say it doesn’t mean it should’ve ever happened in the first place.” said Allison softly.
“I know you well enough to know that you’d never try to hurt anyone, Luther.” Diego said. “And besides-”
“If something goes on between two consenting adults one should definitely not be crying afterward.” Lila interrupted.
Allison nodded. “What she said.”
“What’s her room number?” Diego growled, pulling out a knife from his belt and starting to flip it.
“Diego, no.” Viktor groaned.
“For fuck’s sake, Viktor, do you see what she did to him?”
“Yeah, I have eyes!” He exclaimed. “Look, I get that she deserves payback-”
“I’m thinking of giving it to her myself.” Allison muttered.
“But what’s gonna come of it? Whatever you do, you’re either getting arrested or hurt or both, and we don’t need more hurt people tonight.”
“Well, what do you suggest, Viktor?” Allison glared at him.
“I don’t know! I’ve-I’ve never dealt with something like this before! Maybe we should all go down to the front desk-”
“That’s it, I’m going.” Diego slipped out the door.
“Oh my god, Diego! Wait!” Viktor followed after him. Allison looked up and then back down at Luther.
“You sure you’ll be okay here? I think I need to go and make sure they don’t do anything they’ll regret later.”
“Yeah, I just-don’t hurt her, Allison, please. She’s lost people too.”
Allison just glanced at him sadly and left.
Now it was quiet. Lila drummed her fingers on the bed nervously and avoided his gaze. He looked down at his own hands, which were shaking. His white sneakers were crusted with dirt and he could feel Annie’s thighs on his waist again, pressing down. The color of her hair as it fell over his face. She smelled like vanilla shampoo and he couldn’t stop thinking about her eyes. They looked so hungry.
“Oi. Luther.”
Someone was talking to him, but they were far away. So was his body. He was back in Annie’s room and she was pinching his chin again. Her lips tasted like smoke and cheap lip balm and he could feel her tongue on his lips and he couldn’t breathe and and and-
“LUTHER!”
He flinched. “Wh-what?”
“Right.” Lila studied him, looking concerned. “Let’s get you up off the floor. You want to grab my hand?”
“Thanks.”
She led him over to the bed her and Diego were sharing, and grabbed a water bottle from Diego’s backpack.
“I’m sorry I don’t know how to deal with these kinds of things better.” She opened it and handed it to him. “My mum never taught me the caring side of things, you know? But I do know all that crying makes you dehydrated. Here.”
Luther took it and chugged half.
Just then, Klaus stumbled out of the room he was sharing with Viktor and Five. Five followed him, looking peeved and very tired.
“I heard the word crying. Is everyone okay?” Klaus asked.
“Hm. Annie, from the cave? The one that wouldn’t stop saying shit to you?” Lila said.
“Yeah?”
“Apparently, she yanked Luther into her room an hour ago and started kissing him. Pushed him onto the bed and everything.”
“Shit.” Five breathed. “You okay?”
“I don’t know, Five.” Luther shook his head. He looked dazed.
“Where did Allison and Viktor go? And Diego? Do they know?” asked Klaus.
“They left.” Lila rolled her eyes. “Trying to give Annie payback.”
Klaus moved onto the bed next to Luther.
“Okay if I sit next to you, man?” Luther nodded, and Klaus handed him Pablo.
“I know it’s only a stupid little parrot Allison bought for me, but it helps.”
Five hopped onto the bed across from Lila and sighed. “Want me to put on some music to try and give you something else to think about?”
“Sure. Thanks.” Luther held the stuffed parrot awkwardly in his hands while Five connected his phone to Diego’s speaker.
He still felt Annie’s hands on his arms. Her hands felt so hot and they moved up and down and onto his chest like anxious rabbits. Her body had made a thud when it hit the dresser and when she got up her face was streaked with tears.
“Fuck, is that what I get for kissing you?” she yelled. Her voice was thick with tears.
He could still taste her spit in his mouth. Lila and Five were on his left arguing about who knows what and everyone else was somewhere down the hall, but he felt so far away. Isolated, dirty, smudged.
He couldn’t hold the tears in anymore and before he knew it, he was anxiously fidgeting with Pablo and sobbing. Everything felt hot and he felt so wrong and so big, all hair and overgrown muscle taking up too much space in the hotel bed.
“Hey, hey, hey, Luther.” Klaus turned to him. “Mind if I touch your shoulder, big guy?”
Luther shook his head. “No. Please.” He grabbed a pillow and curled into it, his shoulders shaking. Klaus’s stomach dropped. He’d never seen Luther look so small before.
“No problemo, man. Hey. Look at me, okay?” He gave Luther a gentle smile. “Shhh. You’re safe here. Five is here. Lila is too. No one is gonna come in here to hurt you. I mean, we’re a pretty good team, aren’t we?”
“You can stay here. I’m going to find her.” Five snarled. “If it’s the last thing I do.” He attempted to blink out of the room, but Lila yanked his arm.
“Woah, better not do that.”
“Let go of me or you’re going to end up stuffed in that bathroom on some ice.”
Lila glared at him and grabbed the front of his shirt.
“Five. Shut up. Listen to yourself.” She let go of his shirt and sighed. “Look, you could go and find her. Feed your oversized ego. But-” She motioned to Klaus and Luther on the other bed. “He needs you.”
“Lila, I’m not good at this kind of stuff. I can’t just-”
“And I’m not either!” she exclaimed. “But at least I’m trying!”
Five gave her a long stare. He looked like a scared boy, not the Commission’s best assassin. If she hadn’t known him, she would have felt bad. The Commission had a funny way of hardening you to killing, but the second someone fell apart emotionally, you felt like a rookie all over again.
“Luther, what do you want me to do?” Five asked.
“Not to pop your balloon, Fivey, but I don’t think he can talk right now.” said Klaus. He turned back to Luther. “Aw, hey, it’s okay to let it out. Crying is like throwing up for the soul. It’s good. Sometimes.”
Five picked up the remote and switched the channels around. “Maybe we could watch something. Give everyone something else to think about.”
“Ooh! Put on Fantastic Mr. Fox!” Klaus yelped. “That’s always a nice one.”
Five made a face. “Well, because you like it, no.” He finally decided on How to Train Your Dragon.
“What, do you hate claymation or something?” Lila asked.
“No, that fox just creeps me the fuck out. Plus, it’s two in the morning and as much as I’m a trained killer, I don’t like being scared.”
“Klaus, do you have anything to drink?” Luther asked.
“To drink? I have some gatorade in my bag. I might have some lemonade too. Oh.” He realized what Luther meant. “No, not tonight. I’m-no. I can’t do that to you, man. Sorry.”
“But you’re the life of the party! Come on. Just this once?”
Klaus sighed. He’d heard this before, too. Before all of them got close and they were just strangers in a too-big house and Luther had slammed him against a wall.
“No, no, no. I’m not letting you do that. Look what happened to me.”
“Please, Klaus.” Luther’s voice was thick. “I just need something so that I can stop feeling like…this. Just this once.”
“I’m not letting you do that to yourself, okay? And that’s final.” Klaus’s normally warm green eyes went cold, and he sighed. “I just-I care about you too much, man. You know, I was in the same place you were a few years ago, and…hell, I don’t even remember how much I drank, but I remember having a dream where I saw god as a little girl and then I woke up in the back of an ambulance.”
Five spoke up. “Take it from me, Luther. I’ve been through enough shit to know that it’s better to have people by your side than a bottle of vodka.”
Luther started to fidget with Pablo again. “I’m-I can still feel her hands right here.” He touched his chest. “And I don’t know what to do.” He leaned over, crying, and let his head drop onto Klaus’s shoulder.
Lila looked concerned. “She’s in your head, huh? I know the feeling. Look, if it’s any consolation, you’ve got us, okay?”
“We’re all here if you ever want to talk, Luther.” Five said. “Also, I took some hot chocolate packets from the house if you want some. Might relax you a bit.”
“Yeah, sure. Thanks, Five.” Luther mumbled.
Just then, Diego burst in through the door, followed by Viktor and Allison.
“Well?” Lila asked.
“We were fully ready to whoop her ass, but we didn’t find her.” Diego said.
“The shit I would’ve done to her.” Allison scoffed. Diego sighed and hopped onto the bed near Lila, while Viktor and Allison sat behind them. Five came soon after with the hot chocolate, and everyone sat in silence for a second.
“How are you doing, big guy?” Viktor asked.
“I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to sleep tonight. I hope I’ll be fine by morning, though.”
“Healing is a whole ratty ball of yarn. It takes a while to untangle it.” muttered Klaus. “I think I should loan Pablo to you for the time being.”
“If you want some melatonin or something, there’s always some by my bed. I have a night light, too, if you want.” Viktor added.
Luther took a sip of the hot chocolate. “I’m sorry for making you guys stay up this late. It’s two in the morning. You should be asleep.”
“Oh, shush.” Klaus waved him off. “I don’t sleep that much anyway.”
“Neither do I.” Lila added.
“Yeah, it’s not like we were gonna ignore you.” Allison said. “You’re worth losing sleep over.”
“Sometimes.” added Diego, with fake sarcasm in his voice. It made Luther smile.
“I mean, if you’re getting tired, we can leave you alone.” Viktor said softly. “But if you’re not, we can all watch another movie or something. Or you can lecture us about space. Again.” he smiled.
Luther moved down to his sleeping bag and set Pablo neatly near his pillow.
“Thanks, guys, really. But I think you should get some sleep.”
“Aw.” Klaus got up from his spot on the bed. “Well, if you need anyone to beat her up, you have six choices. Maybe not good choices. But choices nonetheless. And me and Five will bring you breakfast tomorrow. Right?” He shot puppy eyes at Five.
“Right.” Five glared back at him. “Make sure you get some sleep, okay?” He gave Luther a small smile before following Klaus back to their room. Diego had gone to shower and Lila was asleep by the time Luther saw Viktor coming out of his room with a cup of water and some pills.
“Hey, I got you the melatonin and some water.” Viktor said. “And I switched the music to nature sounds. Helps me fall asleep, at least.”
“Thanks, man. This means a lot. Even if I don’t seem like it right now.”
Viktor nodded. “Yeah, of course. I’ll see you in the morning, okay? Yell if you need anything.” He got up and soon, the door to the adjoining room clicked shut.
Luther leaned into his sleeping bag and clutched Pablo close to his chest until he noticed Allison looking worried at him.
“What?”
Allison shifted onto her stomach and sighed into the pillow. “I’m just…really sorry that she did that to you. I should’ve known, I mean, shit, I’ve worked in Hollywood long enough to be around all kinds of creepy producers. Annie’s no different.”
“Allison, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying I’m sorry we didn’t notice her sooner. We could’ve protected you, but we didn’t.”
He pulled the sleeping bag tighter around him and avoided her eye contact. “It’s not your fault. Or Diego’s. Or anyone else’s, for that matter. I was the one who answered her call and went over there when I shouldn’t have.”
“It wasn’t yours either! How many times do we need to tell you that?” she sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. But you know we’re here for you, right?”
Luther nodded.
“Well, try to get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” she turned over and switched off the lamp on her side, and the room plunged into darkness. Lila was asleep on the bed to his left and Diego hadn’t come back from the shower yet. His stomach started to turn again, and it ached with a deep pit of fear. Was it his anymore? His body? The thick, ugly hair? The sinewy muscles? Was it even his to begin with? Her hands had been so strong, gripping his face, her lips tasting like cigarettes and alcohol. He sat straight up and his breath came in shallow puffs, and tears ran down his cheeks again. He was just a freak show act, wasn’t he? And that was why. Hot pulses of shame burned his cheeks and he closed his eyes, tried not to visualize her red hair or her green eyes or-
“What are you-You good?” Diego asked. He had just gotten out of the shower and changed into some old clothes.
“Yeah. Just…thinking.” Luther regained his composure and laid back down.
“You need to stop with the bullshit, okay?” He moved the blankets aside and laid down next to Lila.
“Wha-? I’m not lying to you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Alright. Fine.” He adjusted the covers. “Better get some sleep, then.”
Both of them looked up at the ceiling as the room fell into silence.
“It’s hard not to think about it, huh?” Diego asked. “You want me to walk you through my knife collection? Top to bottom? Maybe that’ll help you get your mind off of it for a while.”
“Thanks, Diego, but I’ll be f-”
“Shut up, okay?” Diego said gently. “Now, none of you know this because you’re all oblivious, but all of the knives I use right now I buy. From Amazon.”
“Amazon? Really?”
“Yes. Okay, now listen. I like to use the shorter ones. Better leverage, you know? And they all have a special place in my belt, right? I always put the longer ones in the back so that they don’t poke-”
He looked over. Luther was asleep.