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The dreams start the same way it always does.
He’s on his knees, his neck creaked at an uncomfortable angle. His arms are limp on his side, and he doesn’t have the energy to lift them. His muscles are tense, but he can’t relax them.
There’s a wide smile on his face, but he’s not smiling.
And he can barely focus, his thoughts hazy and scattered in a way that makes him want to tense up and lash wildly. And when his thoughts do align, when the ringing quiets down, he can hear soft conversations nearby, the meaning escaping him.
And when he does focus, all he can feel is the strings attached to his wrist and feet.
(And neck, but he doesn’t think about the noose around him.)
There’s a child giggling and he quickly loses himself again, his mouth slowly creaking open with a groan as he looks up. There’s someone above him, playing with his strings.
And there’s someone next to him, forcing his head up.
Gold gloves trace down his neck, moving to fiddle with the string there. They move his head up, ignoring the creaks as his head moves too far back.
Look the voice whispers and Darius doesn’t have a choice but to.
(He can’t close his eyes.)
There is a child above him, smile too wide and gummy as they move closer to him. They hum as they observe him, booping him on his nose.
“Good,” the child laughs, kicking his feet out. “I thought all the toys Belos promised me would break! I mean, look at these ones.”
And there was a clutter, marionettes falling without their strings, as more children fall from the sky, landing with a thump next to him.
“Just look what Belos did to this one! I don’t even think I want to fix his toys anymore, he always just makes new ones!”
He doesn’t want to look.
Look the voices urges again and Darius wants to cry out but the string on his neck tightens and- the world was getting fuzzier-
LOOK AT HIM!
His head was yanked down and he stares at the broken toy near his knees.
At the broken boy, lying near his feet.
Hunter’s body was twisted, green spikes and goo growing from his skin like a second layer, and he was staring at him with wide (scared) eyes, his pupils a familiar blue.
“Ah,” the voice whispered, a contorted warped mutation of Hunter and Belos’; but Darius knew who was speaking to him now. “I supposed you failed another one, didn’t you?”
The smile Hunter gave him only felt half real as Darius heard the snapping of bomes, the foreign feeling of being yanked by his threads, and the feeling of cold goo crawling up his leg.
“I suppose you will do for the new vessel then.”
The crawl up his body was excoriatingly slow, his every nerve lighting on fire as the mass slithered up him. His mouth was craned open, Belos lit up like a child at a birthday party-
Then…
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!
Darius grabbed and teleported the alarm clock out of the house. He stared at the red mass he was sleeping on, feeling the warmth around his face and chest…
Oh.
It was another one of these mornings.
Hunter’s room was still dark, small slivers of light shining in through his window. For some absurd reason Hunter liked waking up at the crack of dawn, and Darius must’ve forgotten to turn the alarm off after he crawled into bed with the boy. He was bad at remembering to do these kind of things when he was already woken up by his own nightmares, and he had already chosen to sleep with Eberwolf to see if his purrs would lull him to sleep. It usually does work, the dreams almost always slipping away with his friend’s soft breathing and deep purrs.
It usually does work, because Darius almost never has two nightmares in one night.
Eberwolf’s purrs stutter for a moment, before a furry paw makes its way under his chin to pull him closer.
Darius clicked his tongue lightly as he felt the soft fur on his skin, and he leaned his face to nuzzle into Eber’s neck.
The quiet growl wasn’t what he was expecting.
“Please go back to sleep,” Eberwolf whispered and Darius could almost see the glow of his eyes being reflected on the fur of his cheek. “The cub will wake up with you.”
“Hmmmm,” he mumbled. “Did I wake you?”
Eberwolf shrugged against him, paws moving to dig into his hair. “Please just go back to sleep before the cub wakes up.”
“Can’t,” Darius hummed, shaking his head, reaching over Eber to grab his boy’s wrists. And it was only when he could feel the strong pulse under his fingers and hear Hunter’s soft breaths did he quickly mumble, “sorry.”
Eberwolf was quiet for a second before he nodded, leaning down a bit to nuzzle him back. And Darius couldn’t keep down the bud of annoyance that always sprang up lately, every single time he’s opened Eber’s door to the demon’s tired magenta eyes.
Everything was just finally calming down into some kind of normalcy. Darius was finally settling down, making himself a new normal with Hunter and Eberwolf. And he was getting used to waking up and talking to Hunter after his nightmares, used to forgoing sleep for some type of activity to help Hunter occupy himself. He was used to listening to Hunter whisper to him about Belos’ possession of him; about the fuzziness, human realm water rushing inside and choking him in a way he hadn’t known was possible, the way it burned in a way that always made Hunter choke up whenever he thought about it too much-
Darius was used to listening to the horrors of possession.
(Except sometimes he forgets, that he was used as a puppet once too.)
Darius doesn’t know if it’s the calmness the settled down over his life now. He doesn’t know if it’s because he has some semblance of a routine. He doesn’t know why these nightmares are an issue now and he doesn’t really care.
Because his mind had decided that now, just now, was the perfect time to cook up some nightmares from what little awareness he had as a marionette.
He heard Eber’s soft exhale, before he felt Hunter fidget. Darius reached over and buried his finger into Hunter’s thick hair, anything to placade him for waking up, but Hunter simply shot up and stared at him.
With his glowing brown eyes.
It’s weird how quickly he got used to that.
Hunter turned to his bedside table, before turning back to stare at them.
“Which one of you got rid of my alarm clock this time?”
Eberwolf pointed at Darius, grabbing the blanket and covering his face with it.
“Darius…”
“It is 6am. On a Sunday. And we were all up late. Why are we up on a Sunday at 6am after we were all up late?” he mumbled, covering his face with his arm.
“Say the 6am thing again, I don’t think anyone got it the first time.”
“Zip it,” he pulled the blanket down, ignoring Eber’s angry hiss. “I turned it off before getting rid of it this time, didn’t I?”
“But still,” Darius turned back to Hunter as the boy shrugged off the sheets covering him, stretching his arms. “You said you would stop doing that. It’s 6am, you’ll waste your whole morning sleeping in longer than this. The early bird-”
“Finish that sentence Hunter.”
“I swear it’s like I’m back in school again.”
Hunter’s mouth twitched into a small smile and Darius found himself relaxing a bit, returning it. Hunter turned down to gaze at Eber before a small look of concern flashed across his face.
“Are you both okay?” he asked, rapping his knuckles against his navy blue pajama pants. “You both seem more tired than usual. And you both were already together when I went to wake you up Darius, should I leave you both alone? Do you need more rest or maybe you feel sick, there were some sick parents in the audience of our last game or-”
Darius chuckled, shaking his head slowly. “I’m not sick Little Prince, and I don’t think Eberwolf can be sick. Just a bit tired today, that’s all.”
Eberwolf snorted, finally sitting up, his hair sticking up in all directions around him. “As if Darius was going to let us sit next to that guy. Dude sneezed once and suddenly we lose the best seats in the entire arena.”
“There are other good seats.”
“My point still stands. And I have gotten sick around you, remember?”
“That’s not-ugh it’s called a joke Eber. Hunter you get the joke don’t you?”
“Sure tell the cub to be on your side, he’ll switch real quick over how much of a dramatic germaphobe you are.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
“Little Prince, tell the mutt how ridiculous he’s being,” Darius said, rolling his eyes. And it was only when the seconds stretched on for a bit too long did he glance at Hunter, who was staring at the both of them with a thoughtful hum.
“Cub?”
“Did you guys have nightmares or something?” Hunter asked and Darius could feel his face tightening before it relaxed again. “Ah, ah, ah no no Darius, I saw that look.”
He should be better at smoothing his emotions over and being normal, but he was trying to teach Hunter that was an okay thing to feel, but he shouldn’t be forcing a child to worry about him and…
And he felt Eberwolf’s paw brush over his side gently.
And he took a deep breath in and out.
“…I’m tired today Hunter,” he repeated, trying to stare into Hunter’s beautifully luminous brown eyes (and ignore the piercing blue his mind kept pushing to the forefront). “Very tired.”
Hunter stared at him before the boy jolted suddenly, realization washing over him. “Oh. Oh. It’s one of those days for you?”
(He could still feel the numbness threatening to overtake him, the cackles of an abused child in his ear, and a wave of nausea that kept him in bed.)
“Yeah,” he whispered, nodding slowly. “It’s going to be one of those days unfortunately.”
That was the easiest way if putting it.
Hunter nodded before quickly asking. “Is it a no touch kinda day or…?”
Please hug me now I need to feel your beating heart your quiet breaths show me your alive-
“Nope,” Darius chose to say instead, chuckling tiredly. “I’d appreciate one of your hug right about now honestly.”
Hunter nodded, bouncing on the bed lightly. “Hey Eber?”
Eber hummed, patting down the mane he excused as bed hair.
“Are you having one of those days too?”
Eber paused, his small smile wavering, before he sighed. “Eh. Yeah I think so. Feeling a bit better than last night.”
(Bags under his eyes, the slow angry look the demon gave him as Darius slowly opened the door. The way his hand was curled around his sigil, the way the fur around his wrists were thinning then they should be.
Because if either of them could scratch those strings off, maybe they could actually be useful for once.
Hunter doesn’t need to know that part.)
Hunter hummed, opening his arms. “Do you want to join me and Darius’ hug?”
And the soft smile Eberwolf gave, the way the demon just… softened, his shoulders sagging as his ears drooped made something in Darius warm up. Darius pulled Hunter in as Eberwolf moved behind him, and Darius buried his head in Hunter’s neck.
(The pulse was still strong and breathing became a little bit easier again.)
“…Ah. Was it the nightmares of being a puppet or me being hurt?”
And his grip tightened because sometimes he wishes he never opened up about his nightmares at all. He wishes Hunter didn’t have to know his little tells to pinpoint which nightmares he was thinking about. He wishes he could just go back to being less obvious about how he was feeling, just for a little while-
“…Darius?”
But it was hard to, when Hunter was looking at him, all scarred but with wide concerned eyes. It was hard, when Hunter made Eberwolf smile for real in a way Darius had almost forgotten the demon still could anymore.
It was hard, when he knew that telling Hunter these things made the boy so so happy because he finally felt trusted.
“…Both,” he whispered after a moment. “Both of them.”
And Hunter shot him a relieved smile, one that made Darius think that maybe he does know what he’s doing before he reached a hand behind him to bury in Eber’s hair.
“…Both too cub,” Eberwolf mumbled, laughing quietly, “…I just want you to be okay.”
Hunter nodded, pulling Eberwolf away from his back and to his side, giving the demon his wrist. Eberwolf moved his fingers over the groove of Hunter’s wrist and let them there, staring intently at the place Hunter’s pulse was.
“I wish I could’ve helped you more with everything Little Prince,” Darius whispered, squeezing Hunter a little tighter. “I’m so sorry.”
Sorry for a lot more things than he was apologizing for now, but Hunter always insisted that he didn’t any more apologies about his treatment beforehand. That what they were doing now was more than enough.
(It didn’t always feel that way.)
“We can go back to sleep,” Hunter mumbled against his shoulder, lifting Eberwolf up so the demon could hug the back of both of their heads. “I’ll wake us up later and we can cook some breakfast. Maybe we can watch something and if either of you are feeling up to it, we can go out for lunch or dinner or something. Or we can just stay home, it’s your choice.”
Eberwolf pulled away a bit, settling onto Hunter’s shoulder. “You can go out if you want to cub. Me and Darius can take care of each other.”
“HA! Nnnope! You guys are always there for me so I’m going to be there for you! Can’t get rid of me that easily!” and even now Hunter said it with his tongue out, voice light and happy, as if he wasn’t sacrificing his day just because he was sad. Because he was upset.
But Darius knew Hunter always got upset whenever he voiced that so instead he huffed playfully.
“What if we make breakfast right now?” he said, slowly getting out of Hunter’s bed. “And then I can make your hair or something? You can do Eber’s, I know you like brushing that mess he calls hair.”
“You’re just jealous.”
“Wha- why would I be jealous when you’re the one with hair sticking up in all directions?”
Just as the sentence left his mouth and Eber shut him a death glare he was reminded that yes, Darius was the one who was sleeping on it and was probably playing with it so it’s mostly his fault that Eber’s hair looks the way it does right now.
“I mean that does sound like jealously.”
Eberwolf startled, bursting into surprised laughter as Darius stared at a smirking Hunter. “Y’know what? Never mind that, would you like to do my idea instead? I’m suddenly not interested in sleeping in the same bed as a literal mutt.”
Eberwolf raised an eyebrow at him, before shooting Darius a wide smirk that spelled trouble. “Hey Hunter. Did you know that’s how Darius used to say ‘I love you’ until you came around?”
“QUIET YOU.”
“Really?”
“Yeah he realized being a jerk doesn’t get you new friends but you really made him vulnerable. It’s adorable.”
Hunter snorted, covering his growing smile with his mouth. Darius sighed, shaking his head as he rolled his eyes. “I’m going to wash up since you both clearly only want to bully me.”
“Bye bye!” Eberwolf waved, dodging the stray abomination Darius flicked his way. Hunter was smiling again, shaking his head fondly and Eberwolf shot Darius a small, softer smile before going back to his wide, teasing one.
(Hunter’s distracted from their problems.
Good.)
Darius walked to the bathroom, his family’s conversation dancing lightly in the hallway, closing the door behind him.
And immediately slumped down to the floor.
(Cold slime crawling up him, inching closer to his mouth.
He knows what comes next, Darius knows because it’s happened again and again and he’s always so powerless to stop it.
The wrongness cups his face, feigning warmth, gently stroking his cheeks in a way that made his skin crawl, before slowly widening his mouth, the smile on Hunter’s face growing unnaturally wider, then-)
Darius dashed towards the toilet and hurled.
He hated that part, he hated feeling useless, he hated feeling weak, he hated everything about his nightmares, he hated.
He coughed violently, his shoulders shaking with effort, as he reached to flush the toilet. He exhaled shakily as he pushed himself away from the putrid smell and to the sink, where he dunked his face with cold water.
His face.
His face, made out of skin.
It is, it was, he wasn’t there, he wasn’t there. Eberwolf already checked him over, already showed him that his arms and ankles were bare, slowly felt his neck so Darius was sure there was nothing there. The demon had already hugged Darius close, squishing Darius’ cheek against his own, nuzzling him gently.
“All soft with little hairs,” Eberwolf had whispered, shushing his quiet apologies. “It’s all good, you’re good. You’re at home Darius, you’re free.”
He was made of skin, not bark. He was walking of his own accord, not being pulled by puppet strings.
Belos had chosen Hunter and Raine; not him.
Darius traced the length of his sigil, feeling the unburnt skin beneath his fingertips. The Day of Unity was ages ago, the skin since healed. He was okay.
(But even now, seeing that trace of Belos made him unbelievably angry, but it was more productive to use that energy elsewhere.
More productively.)
Darius washed his face with cold water again, watching the droplets slowly drip from his beard, before he exhaled, abomination matter forming and flowing around his hair.
He was Darius Deamonne.
He hated his nightmares with a passion, he hated being vulnerable even more, but he needed to be for this makeshift family-situationship thing to work.
He inhaled sharply and exhaled.
And grabbed his toothbrush.
Once he had finally brushed hard enough for his gums to begin hurting, Darius wrapped up in the bathroom and set for the kitchen, breathing in and out with each step he took.
“Oh,” he said, watching as Hunter turned towards him and waved. “Hello Little Prince. I thought you and Eber were going to stay in bed a little longer.”
“I mean, he is I think. Maybe,” Hunter shrugged, pushing his chair away from the table and walking towards him. “Me and him talked for a little bit and I think he’s just thinking about it now.”
“Huh. Hmmm,” he shrugged, walking past him. “Do you want to surprise him with some breakfast then? I know you both like those crunchy nuts Camila gets you from the human realm, perhaps we could-”
“Darius,” Hunter interrupted, grabbing Darius’ wrist. Darius turned to him, watching his boy take a deep breath in and out. “Do you and Eber always talk like that when you want to distract me?”
Darius could feel the air getting trapped in his throat, stunning him into silence. “W-what?” he managed to breathe out. “What?”
“I mean,” Hunter let him go in favour of fidgeting with his sleeve, pulling the material between his fingers. “Like. I woke up and you both immediately started with the banter and the fake arguing and it is funny, but you both also kept going back to it? When something happens you guys are normally more-more serious about it, y’know? But now, you just seemed to want to distract me.”
Hunter trailed off, moving to rub his arm nervously. “And I know you were already with Eberwolf before I came. Was your nightmare that bad? Was it worse than normal? Are you feeling okay?”
And there it was, the concerned gaze penetrated by scars, Hunter’s wide brown eyes burning into his.
(He hated feeling vulnerable.
He hated feeling weak.)
“Darius?” and Hunter took a step towards him, smiling that small wary and soft smile, like he wasn’t sure what to do but still wanted to help. He raised his arms invitingly, his expression becoming more comfortable. “Hug?”
And Darius could feel himself softening, could feel a real smile tug its way onto his lips as he closed the distance between them, holding Hunter’s head close to his own. He kissed the top of his boy’s forehead, marvelling in the way Hunter’s thick hair easily parted between his fingers. He didn’t have his gloves on just yet, but Darius always loved feeling Hunter’s hair.
(It wasn’t raggedy, hanging off his head in a thick dying, brown mess. It was a healthy blond and isn’t that what mattered?)
“Darius?”
“I didn’t mean to,” Darius answered honestly, not pulling away from the hug not yet. “I hate dreaming of being the Collector’s puppet. I hate feeling weak. I can’t move whenever I dream of that and it’s just so…”
Frustrating. Nauseating. It makes something in him roar, a pit flickering flames in his stomach and he just wants to lash out and hurt something.
(He can’t hurt anybody anymore.
Not the person he wants to anyways.)
“It makes you… mad?” Hunter offered, pulling away just a bit to look at him. “Because you didn’t have control?”
“Ye-no. It’s not-” Darius worked so hard to become Coven Head because he never had any power when it mattered. He never does.
He never will.
“I just… hate being used like that,” he settled on, scratching the tip of what made him so angry. “I hate not being able to-to help, when I should’ve been.”
Hunter hummed, nodding. “I-I get it. I get that. I get the helplessness, I get wanting things to be normal, trying to recapture control. And I get you and Eber have really, really been struggling with it. And I get that too. I…we heard you earlier. In the bathroom.”
…Crap.
“…You shouldn’t be worried about these things Little Prince,” Darius said, gently poking a finger to Hunter’s chest. “You’ve been worried about things you shouldn’t have been your whole life, you don’t have to worry about me now.”
“Your important,” Hunter retorted back, pushing his finger off. “I want to worry about you. And besides, I have experience with this whole possession thing. You guys can talk to me too.”
…Darius hated how angry those words made him.
He hated how angry Belos was still making him.
(But Darius could never take back what Belos had already done.
He could only move forward.)
“I trust you Hunter, it was never about me not trusting you,” and it warmed his heart to see Hunter smile at him, knowing he alleviated one of his boys worries. “It’s just- I know you don’t like talking about your possession. I don’t want to upset or trigger you in any way by talking about what little experience I have.”
“I don’t mind,” because of course Hunter didn’t, his smile growing more playful. “We can make a trauma buddies group for all three of us. Like an elusive club!”
Darius couldn’t help but snort, raising an eyebrow. “Aren’t clubs meant to be fun?”
“This could be! Like after we have all the talking, we can get nice cream, maybe we can rent some movies, or-or maybe we can go to the human realm and you guys can meet a giraffe!”
“I don’t want to meet a giraffe.”
“Eberwolf does. You’ll probably do it for him.”
…Welp. He’s-that’s not wrong.
“What I mean is Darius,” Hunter grabbed his hands, placing Darius’ palms in his (and Darius could almost ignore the flash of green claws), his pinkie’s wrapping around them. “I know you trust me. I think I’ve gotten that part through my thick skull,” and the pride that blossomed and grew in his heart could never equate to anything he’s ever felt before, he was so proud of him. “And I know there are some things you can’t tell me. But please don’t make jokes when you’re not feeling well? If there’s anything I can do, anything at all, please will you let me help?”
(But it was hard to deny him, when Hunter was looking at him, all scarred but with wide concerned eyes. It was hard, when Hunter made Eberwolf smile for real in a way Darius had almost forgotten the demon still could anymore. When Hunter made him smile in a way he hasn’t for so long.)
It was easy, smiling at Hunter, nodding and realizing that he meant it.
It was easy, giving Hunter another kiss on the forehead as he giggled and pushed Darius away.
It was easy to smile, when Eberwolf walked in, his hair tied back; watching Hunter scoop the smaller demon in a hug.
It was easy to catch Eberwolf’s natural smile and return it, watching Hunter move around the kitchen, insisting that he make breakfast and coffee today.
“We really got lucky for once didn’t we?” Eberwolf whispered, his hair flicking in that way only his did, smiling at him.
(Because they weren’t lucky, neither of them were. Maybe that’s why they were here together. Maybe that’s why they both stayed together.
Maybe it’s good that that’s finally changing.)
“Yeah,” he whispered back, just in time for Hunter to slide him his cup. “We really did.”
His nightmares would return. Maybe not tonight or tomorrow night, but they would return.
But maybe now, he can remember he’s not a failure for not being there for Hunter. Maybe now, he can think about Hunter talking about anything and everything as he moved through the kitchen like it was second nature, and maybe now he can wake up and remind himself that Hunter was safe.
Maybe he wouldn’t get it tonight.
But he would, someday.