Chapter Text
Tommy woke up to the shrill beeping of his alarm clock, a sound that felt far too intrusive for the serenity he craved. He groaned, rolling over in bed to smack the snooze button, though he knew he could not delay the inevitable for long. School. Another day of school. He stared at the ceiling; his thoughts already clouded with the familiar sense of insecurity that had been his companion for the past few months.
He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, feeling the coolness of the wooden floor against his feet. As he sat there, he could not shake off the feeling that today would be just another day where he would struggle to fit in, where his classmates' whispered conversations and sidelong glances would only remind him of how out of place he felt.
Dragging himself to the bathroom, Tommy caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror. His tousled blond hair, usually a source of pride, seemed dull and unruly today. He tried to tame it with a brush, but it only served to emphasize the dark circles under his eyes, a testament to another restless night. He sighed, giving up on his hair and turning to the task of brushing his teeth.
Back in his room, Tommy opened his wardrobe and stared at the neatly hung rows of his school uniform: white shirts, grey trousers, and navy tie. He grabbed the nearest shirt and slipped it on, the stiff collar feeling like a noose around his neck. As he fumbled with the buttons, his mind raced with worries about the day ahead. Would today be the day he finally said something stupid in front of the whole class? Or worse, would he just be ignored, left to fade into the background like an unnoticed shadow?
He put on his trousers and tied his tie with shaking hands, the familiar knot offering no comfort today. Slipping into his blazer, he took a deep breath and forced himself to move. There was no point in delaying any longer. He had to go downstairs and face the world.
The kitchen was already filled with the sounds of morning chaos. His dad, Phil, was at the stove, flipping pancakes with a skill that always amazed Tommy. His older brothers, Wilbur, and Techno, were seated at the table, engaged in their usual banter. Wilbur, ever the joker, was regaling Techno with some outlandish story about a prank he had pulled at work, while Techno listened with his trademark stoic expression, occasionally raising an eyebrow in amusement.
"Morning, Tommy!" Phil called out as he noticed his youngest son hovering in the doorway. "Pancakes will be ready in a minute. How'd you sleep?"
Tommy shrugged, taking a seat at the table across from Wilbur. "Okay, I guess."
Wilbur looked up from his plate, a teasing grin on his face. "Just, okay? You look like you wrestled with your bed and lost."
Tommy managed a weak smile, not really in the mood for jokes. "Yeah, something like that."
Techno glanced at Tommy, his sharp eyes missing nothing. "Everything alright, Tom?"
"Yeah, fine," Tommy replied quickly, avoiding his brother's gaze. He knew Techno could see right through him, but he did not want to get into it. Not now.
Phil brought a plate of pancakes to the table, setting it down with a flourish. "Eat up, boys. Big day ahead."
Tommy picked at his pancakes, his appetite non-existent. The conversation flowed around him, but he felt like he was on the outside looking in, disconnected and adrift. He finished his breakfast mechanically, grateful when it was time to leave for school.
The ride to school was uneventful, but the knot in Tommy’s stomach tightened with every passing minute. By the time he walked into his first class, the sense of dread was overwhelming. He slid into his seat, hoping to go unnoticed.
As the day wore on, Tommy's fears were realized in small, insidious ways. A couple of his classmates snickered as he answered a question incorrectly in history. At lunch, he sat alone, pretending to be engrossed in his book while feeling the weight of every whisper and glance directed his way unfortunately for him tubbo was on holiday and ranboo was at a dentist appointment, he could sit with Wilbur and his friends, but Highers are weird and annoying. By the time the final bell rang, he felt drained, every ounce of his energy sapped by the effort of keeping up appearances.
The walk home was slow, his feet dragging as if the weight of his insecurities was pulling him down. When he finally reached the front door, he slipped inside quietly, hoping to avoid another round of family chatter. He was not in the mood to pretend everything was all right.
Up in his room, Tommy closed the door and leaned against it, letting out a shuddering breath. The silence was both a relief and a torment, amplifying his thoughts. He felt like he was trapped in a loop, reliving the same day over and over, each one chipping away at his confidence a little more.
He crawled into bed, not bothering to change out of his uniform. Curling up under the covers, he let the tears he had been holding back all day finally flow. The pillow muffled his sobs, but the pain and insecurity he felt were all too real. He wished he could be like Wilbur, carefree and confident, or like Techno, strong and unflappable. But he was not. He was just Tommy, and that never was enough.
As he lay there, the darkness enveloping him, Tommy wondered if things would ever get better. If he would ever feel comfortable in his own skin. For now, all he could do was hope, and hope seemed like such a fragile thing. With a heavy heart and a mind full of doubts, Tommy closed his eyes, wishing for sleep to take him away from the turmoil inside.