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Now Bucky is an identical twin, and I mean very identical it's impossible to tell them apart, especially when they don't wanna be.
But Buck can tell the difference, and possibly Kidd, because he has to do roll call.
But everyone else, god only know.
But Theseus has rules, ones that he enforces or he calls you a fig for some reason.
That's another way to tell them apart.
Anyway lets go through it.
Rule number one: My name is Theseus, not Theodore, not Theo, not Sue, get my name right or I'll smack you upside the head.
Rule number two: I'm older by two minutes, which means I have more authority over you, then John.
Rule number three: Stop calling me Salamander, for the love of god you figs.
Rule number four: Benny I don't have magical powers, I just move quietly, so stop saying I do.
Rule number five: Bubbles stop stealing my maps, they're my maps. I can tell the difference, your handwriting is like shredded cheese.
Rule number six: Blakely stay six feet away, or I'll spray you with the spray bottle, you fig.
Rule number seven: Ham stop asking why my last is Scamander and Johns is Egans, John has our mothers last name, and I have my fathers. It's simple and not a conspiracy.
Rule number eight: I love Meatball, but I'm allergic so keep him away.
Rule number nine: John, Gale stop screwing around in my bed, your bed is five feet away, figs.
Rule number ten: Brady you sound like your having a mini stroke trying to pronounce my name, so please stop trying before you hurt yourself.
Rule number eleven: I'm the unfortunate navigator stuck with Ham, so this directed towards him, your jokes suck and I don't get them, so please stop.
Additionally: No biting either fig.
Rule number twelve: No I don't dress like a grandpa, I dress stylishly, stop comparing me to Red.
Rule number thirteen: Curt I'm not John, don't throw yourself at me, I can't catch you like John can.
Rule number fourteen: Crosby stop stealing my pocket watch, it's mine.
Rule number fifteen: Our Birthday is in February not September, I was born February 23rd well John was born February 24th, so please stop wishing me happy birthday in September, your severely off.
Rule number sixteen: Stop calling me unfun Douglass you fig, just because I go to bed at 22:00 doesn't mean I'm unfun, it means I'm responsible.
Rule number seventeen: My name isn't Seuss either Crank.
Rule number eighteen: Yes my middle name is Muriel, but it's not that funny Murphy.
Rule number nineteen: You guys really need to lay off the coffee, sleep is better.
Rule number twenty: No me and John didn't fight in World War one, we were three when it ended. The idiots who believe John, I worry about you.
Rule number twenty one: Yes Babyface I'll babysit your turtle I'm not allergic, stop staring at me.
Rule number twenty two: Rosie stop stealing my fucking papers, do I steal your books? No, but I will don't tempt me.
Rule number twenty three: Just because we have a little brother called Newt, it doesn't mean you can call us the lizard brothers, I'll hunt down whoever started that rumor.
Additionally: John don't fucking encourage them.
Rule number twenty four: Quinn stop calling me a Hufflepuff, I don't even know what that is.
Rule number twenty five: Don't talk to me until I have breakfast, I will ignore you.
Rule number twenty six: I will not participate in bike races or any other shenanigans you cook up, because I have better things to do.
Rule number twenty seven: Yes I can ride a bike just fine Ham, stop saying I can't.
Rule number twenty eight: Stop calling me Commander of Salamanders, I will murder all of you, and Bubbles I know it was you who started this.
Rule number twenty nine: John, Gale I'm happy for you guys, but please let me sleep, and I can't do that when John sounds like a dying goose.
Rule number thirty: Brady I'm gonna smother you in your sleep, shut up.