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When McKay entered Sheppard's quarters, he was already talking. "-can't believe you had to call me right then. I'm trying to keep the city floating and happy and of course whatever you need is more important than-" The scientist glanced around the empty room. His rant had no audience. "Sheppard?" he called.
"In here, Rodney," came a voice from the bathroom. "I'm in the shower."
Rodney made a face. "You called me from the shower? You're strange, Sheppard."
"Look, will you just shut up and get in here? I've got a problem."
Reluctantly McKay stepped into the bathroom. "If it's a problem of a personal nature, I don't... Oh." He stopped in the doorway and stared. "What... what is that?"
John Sheppard was standing in his shower, fully clothed in shorts and a t-shirt. There was a small storm cloud hovering over his head. The gray cloud was consistently pattering rain down on the colonel's head and every so often there was a shiver of thunder and a flicker of lightning as well. Sheppard looked like a drowned cat and was about as happy as one. "I woke up this morning with it," he grumbled. "It's some kind of hologram and it won't go away!" He glared at the ceiling. "Atlantis isn't listening when I say off."
Rodney reached out to touch the cloud. His hand passed straight through it and came out wet. McKay flicked water off his hand thoughtfully. "This is... I've never seen anything like it."
"Just tell me you can fix it."
"I've never seen anything like it," Rodney emphasized. "And if Atlantis won't listen to you, Colonel Wonder Genes, what makes you think I'll do any better?" Rodney poked at the cloud some more and got increasingly wet for his troubles.
"Rodney," Sheppard whined, sliding down to sit on the shower floor. "I need to go on duty and I can't walk around with this on my head."
McKay threw up his hands. "What do you want me to do, wave my hand and magic it away? I'll go run some tests, but no guarantees."
"I can't wait that long." Sheppard sneezed twice to punctuate his point.
Rodney looked at him. The other man was curled into a shivering wet ball on the shower floor. "You're going to catch a cold," Rodney grumbled, heading out into the bedroom. "And then bronchitis and then pneumonia and I'll catch it and probably die and it's going to be all your- Here." He brought back a blanket and held it out for Sheppard.
John took it. "It's going to get wet too," he pointed out, then smiled. "But thanks, Rodney."
The rain stopped for a second, then started again.
Both of them looked at the cloud, then back at each other. "I have a theory," McKay started. "In cartoons when someone's sad they have rain clouds over their heads."
"That makes no sense."
"Maybe Atlantis thinks you're sad and is trying to get you to fix it. You are her favorite, after all."
"I'm not sad!"
"Or depressed."
"I'm not depressed, either!"
"Or... lonely?"
John opened his mouth, then closed it again without protest. "Okay," he said finally. "I want you to fix it."
"With what?"
"I want you to fix it." Sheppard just grinned at him until he got it.
"That...won't work."
"It makes sense," John pressed. "If I'm lonely, what better cure than... a partner? Please, Rodney?" He cocked his head winningly.
"Are you asking me to be your boyfriend, Colonel, or are you asking me to marry you?" Rodney said defensively, crossing his arms. "What about your homophobic military?"
Sheppard pulled himself to his feet and leaned out of the shower toward Rodney. "They won't ask," he whispered conspiratorially, "and we won't tell." Rodney still looked hesitant and John pulled back. "If you don't want to..."
"No, I do!" McKay blurted. Recovering, he blustered, "I mean, if you're right, then it's the only way to get rid of your... problem. You can't go around with Cloudy McMillan there for the rest of your life. So."
"So," John echoed. They both hesitated awkwardly before John suggested, "We could test it, see if we're right."
Rodney nodded, and came closer. "We could kiss, that might make the rain stop."
Sheppard smiled at him. "Okay."
Their lips were almost touching before Rodney jerked away. "If we kiss, I'll get rained on!" he complained.
John rolled his eyes. "Come here," he ordered, grabbing Rodney by his jacket front and crushing their lips together. Long seconds passed, during which neither of them noticed that the rain stopped.
They separated, smiling giddily. John poked at the cloud. "No rain," he observed happily. "But the cloud..."
"I think we're going to need the bed to get rid of the cloud."