Work Text:
The old, local train squeaked and shuttered to a stop as it arrived into the quiet countryside terminal. It let out a burst of air and the doors unlocked, letting the last remnants of passengers to disembark.
Suguru stepped out onto the open air platform first, wrapped in a heavy coat and scarf and shouldering one strap of his navy duffle bag behind him. Satoru leisurely hopped out at his side, one hand in his pocket and the other holding a small suitcase.
He took in the new surroundings of the tiny station. The city skylines of Tokyo were replaced by dense green mountains and the air, though bitingly cold, was clear and fresh.
After Suguru had offered to let Satoru stay over for the New Year’s holidays, he was giddy with excitement. Not only was he avoiding going back to his mundane, walled-in estate, but he was going to be spending it entirely with Suguru. No curses, no missions, just an entire week between them to finally take a breath.
Now with the view of the frosty countryside town and Suguru beside him he felt a bloom spread through his chest.
He watched as Suguru scanned the small station for a familiar figure. He caught sight of a raised hand at the far end of the platform and a small woman that waved towards them. A taller, darker man stood beside her, arms crossed and standing out in front of a small boxy car.
Suguru held up his hand in response then looked to Satoru under his wrapped layers, his eyes serious.
"You good?"
"Yes, stop asking. Is it really that bad?" Satoru grinned at him.
"They're just... a lot," Suguru made a pinched expression like he was preparing himself. He secured the heavy bag over his shoulder and started to walk over.
Satoru followed, rolling his own case behind him. As Suguru approached, the woman threw out her arms in delight, hauling Suguru down into a hug and peppering him with kisses. Suguru leaned down and hugged her back with a gentle laugh of, 'Missed you too.' The taller man beside them placed a firm hand on his shoulder and gave it a welcoming shake. Suguru smiled back with a knowing fondness then turned to look at Satoru. All eyes followed until they settled on him.
"Mom, dad, this is Satoru. Gojo Satoru."
Satoru stood quite still and awkward, unsure what to do with himself suddenly. He felt hyper aware where his hands had settled and how his shoes pointed awkwardly. He heard the admonishment from his own parents distantly and straightened up.
He was the last person to care about formalities, but suddenly standing in front of Suguru's parents, everything was telling him not to fuck this up. He dipped his head into a bow, his dark glasses slipping down a little on the bridge of his nose.
"Thank you for having me."
When he looked up it wasn't to turned backs or cold looks. He blinked as the pair of them smiled warmly at him and gave their own bows of greeting. Suguru's mom then crossed the social formality they had put down and crashed through it, pulling Satoru into a warm, inviting hug.
"Welcome Satoru-kun! No need for pleasantries, treat us like your home," she smiled at him and squeezed his arm, "I'm Haruka, but you can call me mom."
He almost wanted to blurt out that being silent and tucked away was more his family's style. But he grinned back, putting a hand to his head in a determined salute, "Yes, mom!"
She laughed, soft and feathery like Suguru. She was bundled up from head to toe in thick clothes, her round pink cheeks poking out behind her scarf. Her dark, shoulder length hair was weighed down with a wooly hat and her toasted hazel eyes, that matched Suguru's, sparkled in the winter sun.
"This is Touwa," she stepped back and looked to the man beside her.
He smiled just as warmly, his eyes closing with it, "Nice to meet you, Satoru-kun. Now.." He unlocked the car and held out an offering hand for the bags, "Let's go and not freeze, shall we?"
His voice was husky but light. Suguru was almost a carbon copy of him in looks except for the defined cheeks and sparse grazes of age lines. His eyes were sharp but kind and while Suguru's eyes were a warm gold, his father's were almost black.
Satoru's mind suddenly raced through a film of an older, stockier Suguru. Taller, leaner. Would his hands be strong like that, sharp bones and snakes of veins? Would he get a stronger jaw and sharper cheeks? Would he get the creases in his brow the same way, or crinkle at the edges like his mom from smiling?
His brain did a short circuit until the real Suguru was flooding his vision, hauling his big duffle into the trunk behind his dad. Satoru quickly handed over his case and bundled into the back seat with Suguru, trying not to think about it too much and failing.
"The drive isn't too long. We'll be there in about 15," Haruka smiled from behind the front seat as Touwa sat in and closed the door, rumbling the car to start.
They drove through dense suburban streets. Each block of houses were divided into uneven grids, broken up by bare, winter trees and scrambled telephone poles. Ever so often they would pass a shop wedged in between apartment buildings, bursting with local goods and homemade signs.
It all looked so charmingly ordinary to Satoru. There weren't high rise walls keeping massive estates gated in, untouched manicured gardens that felt cold and isolating. The streets bustled with the organised clutter that felt more lived in and alive.
He looked over to Suguru who was looking out the other window, chin resting on his hand. The light from the sun reflected off him and glittered warm shards onto his skin. He looked lost in thought, a small frown worrying his brow.
Satoru leaned over and poked at his reflection, breaking Suguru from his pensive train of thought. He smiled at him in the glass and Suguru smiled back, the shadow over his eyes receding just a bit.
He noticed more with each day the toll Suguru's Cursed Technique had on him. He’d watch him come back from lone missions looking almost gray, the bags under his eyes purpled more. He'd help him out of scuffed uniforms and hold back his hair as he retched the taste of curses into a bowl.
He wouldn’t grimace, only rubbing soft circles into his back and telling him to fuck off when Suguru would apologise.
Now looking at the passing mundane streets he imagined growing up in a neighbourhood like this. A home and community that couldn’t empathise with him. Satoru’s home wasn’t the most sympathetic but he grew up around jujutsu. Speaking and practicing it was something he took for granted. He watched Suguru in the window, his tired eyes still holding a crinkled smile to him. His heart suddenly ached. If they weren’t under the quick gaze of his parents, he’d wind his arms in around his middle, chin on his shoulder like always and try to absorb all the melancholy away.
Suguru must have wanted to too as he leaned into his space by an inch.
It was only for the car to slow down and reverse into a small driveway that broke them from the reverie.
"Okay, boys we're here!"
They snapped back to reality, eyes coming off each other's reflections and blinked at the house in front of them. The sound of seatbelts unbuckling and doors unlocking hurried them to follow and they all clambered out of the car together. Satoru poked at Suguru's sides annoyingly as they left through the same door and snickered as Suguru pushed at his cheek to get away.
He looked up then after getting out and blinked at the traditional wooden building in front of them.
It was wider than it was taller. A rolled up front banner and dark windows told him the place was closed. Other than that, some potted plant beds were decorated along the edge with a medium sized kadomatsu placed near the front door.
"Is this a shop?"
Suguru smiled and pointed to the right hand side of the building that had the darker windows and added length, "This is the shop," then moved to the front door with the bamboo plant outside, "This part's our house. We've owned a kimono business for a few generations."
"What? You're a kimono magnate?" Satoru said incredulously, stepping forward and only noticing the kanji for Getou subtly stamped on the edge of the sign.
"Well, I don't think I'm inheriting this, unfortunately, but yeah sure," Suguru laughed with a hint of melancholy only Satoru picked up on.
He watched him closely as they turned to pull the bags out from the trunk.
Suguru's expression was neutral, but Satoru could see the tense line of his jaw, the stiffness of his neck. Instead, Satoru bumped against his shoulder playfully as they carried their things to the door
"Kimono prodigy then, how fast can you tie a Tasuki? I can do it in 6 seconds," he grinned trying to curb Suguru's spiralling thoughts.
Suguru's head snapped up and blinked at him, confused for a moment at the outlandish brag. His eyes narrowed then with a grin, taking the challenge.
"I can do it in 5."
"Hahh? Prove it."
"I will and can," Suguru stuck his tongue out to Satoru's snicker.
Touwa unlocked the door and they all bundled into the genkan, shuffling off their shoes and coats. Two pairs of slippers already greeted them at the step for them to get into.
"You two get unpacked, we'll prepare dinner shortly," Haruka smiled, hanging the coats up.
Suguru tipped his head at Satoru to follow him and they made their way up the staircase, their slipper clad feet brushing up the wooden steps.
—
They entered Suguru's room, Satoru bouncing behind him, giddy with curiosity.
He slid open the door as they stepped over onto the soft, tatami floor. The room was a mix of traditional and western styles. It was a little bigger than their dorm room, a large futon already rolled out into the far corner and a short, dark wood desk at the back with a busy assortment of books stacked on top.
To the side there was a built-in closet with low modern bookshelves tucked into the sides. They housed even more books, manga and note pads that looked full and worn. There were a few crinkly band posters slapped over the wooden wall panels, juxtaposed with some beautifully framed prints overhead. The window above the desk allowed for the dappled light of the evening sun to spill through, lighting the room up in a warm orange haze.
Satoru poked around, looking at all the little details like photos frames and jewelry boxes filled with hair ties. He inspected the manga collection thoroughly, holding his chin and nodding in understanding.
Suguru stood at the doorway, watching him with a bored expression. Satoru's gaze lifted and he grinned at him.
"What? Don't judge me," Suguru looked at him annoyed and suddenly exposed.
"I'm not judging you!"
"You have that knowing judge in your eyes."
Satoru turned fully, letting his glasses cover his eyes entirely and smiled innocently at him. Suguru narrowed his, unconvinced.
"Satoru-kun?" Haruka's voice traveled down the hall, "do you want to set up the futon for your room?"
"Oh uh-," Satoru looked at Suguru, with mild uncertainty. He was preparing himself to get settled here but now he pouted dejectedly.
"It's fine, just say yes," Suguru murmured quietly, getting off the door frame and putting his bag on the floor, "they just want to see you set up in the study.."
"Sure!" Satoru called out but left still looking at him in a huff.
Suguru pouted back mockingly and turned to unzip his bag and things for the week.
He didn't bring much clothes back but he had loaded his bag with a bunch of books from the library. Some he wasn't meant to take outside the school gates but did anyway.
He plopped them onto the desk among the rest of the clutter and got to work. Everything slowly got sorted away into its own place until the room seemed a little tidier. By the time he had gotten to his clothes he opened the wardrobe and let out a sigh.
"Mom, seriously?"
He still heard them shuffling down the hall as they organized Satoru's room together.
Footsteps came padding forth and she poked her head in to look at him, "What? Oh."
Suguru held up the hanging kimono robes laid out for him with exasperation.
"What? I think it'd be nice! You'll be visiting the temple later. It would be good to wear something nice for it."
"At least don't make Satoru wear something, we didn't bring anything."
"Too late!!"
Satoru bounced into the room, a big grin and a three finger peace sign slapped to his forehead.
"Doesn't it look cool? Your mom tied it pretty well."
He was wrapped in fine kimono robes, white wrapped on top of powder blue. Light grey hakama pants cascaded down his frame and were neatly tied together with a thin obi. A heavy, matching kimono jacket sat atop everything with a white, fluffy haori himo resting in front.
Suguru's eyes widened, his heart jumped. Seeing Satoru gowned in traditional clothes was suddenly destroying him. He was going weak.
His mouth was too dry to form words, he ended up with a raspy, choked 'uh-huh.'
Haruka looked triumphantly at Satoru's robes and smoothed down the fabric on his shoulders, "I think you look wonderful, I knew the colour would suit you well. Now, be down in 10. Dinner is almost ready."
She closed the door with a smile, and left them alone.
Before Suguru could even collect himself, Satoru pulled out a white strap from his pocket and grinned at him.
"Well? Prove yourself, Suguru ~"
Suguru blinked at it trying to reconfigure his brain to start working again.
His Tasukigake challenge.
Of course. Satoru wouldn't forget an opportunity to try and show off.
He quirked a silver eyebrow and a mischievous smile to goad him on.
Suguru glared at him with an equal grin and snatched the strap from his hands.
"You're gunna lose so bad."
—
Satoru sat on the futon with his back against the wall, flicking through manga while Suguru hauled on his kimono and hakama. He had done it so many times at this stage he was able to tie it all together without help. He left the yellow outer jacket on the hanger and sat down on his haunches, holding the white tasuki.
"Well? Get a timer, Satoru."
Satoru flipped out his phone with lightning speed and punched in the stopwatch.
"Ready?"
Suguru nodded. The phone made a beep start and Suguru arms flashed around him. He held the strap between his teeth, looping it under his arms and tucking up underneath the baggy kimono sleeves. He tied it neatly in a quick bow by his shoulder then slapped his hands down to his pants.
"Time."
"0:5.43."
"Huhh? I thought it was less. Well, told you," he smiled with a lace venom.
Satoru felt a vein twitch and dropped down onto the floor beside him, sticking out his hand.
"Gimme."
—
Satoru did indeed end up losing by 2 seconds, which he adamantly said was rigged because Suguru delayed hitting the start button on purpose. Suguru smiled innocently and patted him on the shoulder for support.
"C'mon, dinner is probably ready," he got up off the floor and pulled on his top coat.
Satoru pouted, but through sheer bravery and willpower let Suguru have the win. He was also reminded of food and the potential of festival treats.
"And then the temple after? I want to get some amezake!" His eyes sparkled thinking about it.
Suguru laughed because of course Satoru's mind was already on sweets before they even had anything.
"Yeah, maybe. If it's not freezing," he joked, just to deny him.
Satoru frowned, getting up off the floor with a pout.
"Wha? C'mon ~ I'll keep you warm."
He stepped over slipping arms in around his tied waist, nose brushing along a soft cheek and kissing it.
"Hey -" Suguru tried to hold him back with a laugh but didn't resist.
Satoru's head dipped and he pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw, down to his neck, over a racing pulse.
Suguru melted, hands coming up to hold onto Satoru's kimono to stop falling back.
Satoru held him, holding most of his weight by leaning over some more.
"You're really so handsome like this, Sugu.. it's driving me nuts," his voice was dark, lowering by a good octave and rumbling against his skin.
Suguru shivered, his knees weak. He couldn't push back with the angle Satoru had him at. He lowered his chin seeking out the soft plush of lips. Satoru met him halfway and kissed, soft but needy.
"How do you think I feel," Suguru mumbled, his chest tight with the breaths he was holding back. His blood was fizzy, his mouth hungry. He leaned forward, moving more onto his weight and kissed deeper, letting the wet slide of lips and tongue engulf him.
Satoru hummed and smiled against the press of lips, "I know," he pulled apart once, twice, through their dance to get words out, "I look crazy good in this, how are you managing?"
Suguru wanted so desperately to push him back, for them to connect with the soft futon and get lost. But it would be a downward spiral after that and he wasn't a strong enough man to pull them out of it.
Instead he bit his lip in retaliation and Satoru yelped.
"Ow! Hey!"
"We should go down.." Suguru's cheeks felt just as flush as Satoru's and pulled them towards the door.
Satoru stayed still, keeping a hold of Suguru's hand that ended up pulling him back.
"Uhhhh sure. Can you.. give me a minute?"
Suguru turned to him, saw the spreading blush across his pale cheeks and laughed, "Sure."
—
They sat around a heated kotatsu, full from dinner and watching a live music show on the TV.
Satoru watched in awe as a pop idol danced on stage with crazy hair and anime graphics playing behind them.
"Jeez my parents would hate this stuff, this is so cool," he laughed, unpeeling an orange from the bowl in front of them and popping a wedge into his mouth.
Suguru watched him, baffled that he still had room after they had a large portion of Soba and Nabe.
"What would you usually do on New Years?"
"Usually we'd have some live entertainment to sit through. And then some jujutsu families would show up with gifts and offerings. Boot licking stuff for the New Year, y'know," he grumbled, munching on another wedge, "Our place is too covered with trees to see anything but I'd hear fireworks in places. I've always wanted to see them properly."
"We can definitely go see some fireworks," Suguru smiled at him, head propped up on his hand.
"No way? You have them here?"
"Yeah they do a small amount at the festival. We can head over and see if some stalls are still open."
They got up, smoothing out the creases on their clothes and headed to bundle into some warm scarves.
"Wait wait, before you go-" Haruka called out, bounding down the hallway, "you both look so handsome! Come here."
She held up a digital camera with a small grin.
"Mom..."
Suguru wanted to protest but Satoru had already hooked his arm around his neck. He turned and faced them towards the raised camera, sticking his tongue out and flashing peace signs all around them. Suguru helplessly grinned and stuck out his tongue too, flashing a backwards fuck you peace sign instead.
His mom laughed and gave an admonished look at the hand sign, snapping an array of pictures, "Alright, now a proper one, please boys."
They huffed through the laughter and untangled themselves, standing up straighter and putting on a polite smile. Their hands rested at their sides.
"Okay last one!" Haruka held up the lens to them.
Suguru felt the twitch of a hand near his, a small brush of fingers against his own. The motion was so subtle, so delicate, it felt intensely intimate. His hand twitched back, slipping a digit between another and loosely laced them together, hidden by their long sleeves. They waited a few seconds and heard the shutter snap a few times.
"Oh Satoru-kun, I didn't catch you looking," she said sadly, tapping through the slides of pictures.
"Nah, it's fine."
Suguru turned to look at him, to see whatever the hell had distracted him until he saw he was gazing straight at him. Eyes half lidded and so impossibly blue, his soft white fringe sparsely diving them. A lazy smile stretched across his lips and highlighted the small dimple on his left cheek. He locked their fore and middle fingers together more firmly and Suguru's heart stuttered. All he could do was stare back, lost.
A shuffle in front of them broke him from his daze and an object was placed before them, gesturing for Suguru to take it.
Suguru looked up to see his dad, clad in a black and grey kimono, hand him a wooden umbrella.
"In case it snows," his expression was neutral but his eyes twinkled with something of a knowing look.
Suguru dipped his head to hide the embarrassed blush creeping up his cheeks and took the umbrella gently, "thank you, we'll be back in a bit."
Satoru gave them a short wave and they turned to open the door, stepping out into the still night air.
—
He forgot the climb to the temple was laborious when they reached the top step, the chill of winter leaving them entirely after the long ascent.
At the top they were met with a large, red torii gate that opened out onto a busy festival courtyard. It was lit up a bright orange from the string lights and warm paper lanterns that lined along the perimeter. An array of stalls were packed together, selling an array of sweets, good luck charms, horoscopes and local souvenirs. Even the sizzling sound of food billowed plumes of smoke up into the night and wafted a beautiful aroma through the festival air.
A group of kids had gotten sparklers and lit them in less busy spots, gasping as the small sticks burst to life and sparkled to the ground.
Satoru's head snapped towards Suguru, pointing at the huddled group shocked.
"Suguru!! We have to get some!"
"Alright alright," he laughed turning to one of the brightly lit stalls, "you want some amezake too, right?"
Satoru followed him as his eyes glittered over a table filled with sweets, cakes and snacks. A neighbouring stall beside them had shelves stacked with homemade knick knacks and souvenirs from the area.
By the time they had gone around and browsed everything, Satoru had secured two bags of assorted sweets, a pack of sparklers and three good luck charms to take back to Jujutsu Tech with them.
"Shoko will need every help possible dealing with you this year," he grinned at Suguru.
"With me, seriously? You're the one turning us grey, Satoru," he rummaged into one of the bags and took out a box of matcha marshmallows, popping one into his mouth.
"Heyyy gimme," Satoru reached over while Suguru took the sparkler box from his other hand and fished out two sticks.
"Ah where did I.." He patted around his sides until he found the lighter in his pocket.
"Whu'tcha carry that for?" Satoru cast knowing eyes on him while he munched around a marshmallow.
"For Shoko, obviously," Suguru jeered and ignored Satoru’s knowing look.
He snapped the metal roll of the lighter and brushed the flame up against the end of the thin sticks. Immediately they ignited, tiny sparks shooting out like a thousand tiny stars dancing in the air.
Suguru handed one to Satoru who was staring at them transfixed. The flashes of light glinted against his glasses and highlighted the bright cerulean blue of his eyes.
He let the bags down gently to his side and took one sparkler holding it out from his sleeve to see the little flecks of light cascade to the floor.
Suguru watched him rather than his own. Saw how his eyes widened and glittered from the soft crackle of light. How his milky skin lit up in shades of orange and yellow. He didn't realise he was smiling until the sticks slowly fizzled out and Satoru looked over at him, dimple deepening.
"What?"
"Nothing.." he smiled as his chest felt warm and light and racing all at once.
Satoru's gaze flicked between his eyes, like he was trying to find something there unknown to Suguru. He smiled back then, easily and lazily, like he was happy with what he found.
They stayed like that for what felt like ages. The bustle of the festival faded into the background until it was just the two of them, suspended in their own orbit.
It was only until passing shadows broke them from their reverie, that they looked up to see a group of monks making their way towards the temple's center. Suguru followed their path and checked the time on his phone.
"They're about to start ringing the bell, it's almost midnight."
People around them started to file past and gather towards the front.
Distantly someone started a hushed countdown.
Fingers brushed against the back of Suguru's hand like a quiet request. Suguru always waited for Satoru to move first, sometimes half scared to be met with infinty’s barrier if he tried, but even still Satoru always asked. For all Satoru’s loud confidence this is where he became the most vulnerable, the most himself. Suguru turned and opened his full palm to Satoru's, taking and lacing their fingers to the knuckle.
10...
9...
8...
The crowd started getting excited, the chants growing a bit louder. Suguru glanced over at Satoru who looked back with a lopsided grin. He couldn't help but grin back, his eyes smiling into crescents and eyebrows drawn tight.
7...
6...
5...
Satoru held up their locked hands between them and gave him a determined nod to get ready. Suguru chuckled softly at his excitement and nodded back, giving his hand a squeeze.
3...
2...
1…
CLANG!
A loud, reverberating gong rang throughout the courtyard as the iron bell was hit at the stroke of midnight.
Satoru rocketed them into the air instantly, and if they went higher and stayed up a bit longer because of his technique, no one seemed to have noticed. They were lost in the boom of the celebration and the cheers of the crowd ringing in the New Year.
As they floated back down, Satoru caught his other arm and swung them around, dancing in a circle. They laughed breathless, forgetting all their worries as they basked in the glow of the festivities.
A fizzling siren whizzed overhead and made a resounding crack above the crowd.
Satoru slowed down and looked up, eyes wide to see fireworks suddenly splashed over the black sky.
Another shot up almost immediately and then third, glittering the starry sky in a myriad of brightly coloured patterns.
They stopped their dance just to stare up, mesmerized by the streaks of light and exploding shimmers of stars.
The applause faded into a quiet hum as they stood side by side watching the world turn over into a new year.
"Happy New Year, Satoru.." Suguru said softly, still holding his hand tight, a feeling he never wanted to let go of.
Satoru smiled, squeezing his hand back as he watched the sky with eager determination. With Suguru pressed close beside him, his chest almost full to burst, they could never falter. They would tackle the world together.
He turned and beamed at him, blue eyes glittering into hazel.
"Happy New Year, Suguru."
—
They walked back to the house, after the celebrations had wound down to a close. The air had become chillier and the shiver that ran up their arms told them it was time to head home.
Suguru took him down a side path, different from the main steps they had come in from. One where the crowds had faded and the trees more packed. The mossy stone steps were guided by more hanging lights that wove in and out of the thick branches. Old stone statues dotted intermittently down the path that still kept a flame flickering in its middle.
Satoru slipped off his glasses in the low light and pocketed them into his hakama. He stepped in beside him, his senses taking in all the quiet beauty around them. The sleeping animals, the scurrying bugs, the worn down path that must have been used for centuries.
He looked at Suguru, his hair tied up into a neat bun, his pierced ears half hidden under the warm scarf. He wore a small smile as they paced down the twisting steps, a quiet peace on his features.
"Suguru.."
Suguru glanced over and when he saw Satoru had stopped, he turned to look.
"Hm?"
"Promise me something?"
Suguru watched him for a moment, feeling the shift in tone but smiled anyway, "depends what you're asking."
Satoru rolled his eyes, ignoring the false charm and took a step down so they stood on the same level.
"Don't waver on me."
Suguru blinked, suddenly confused, "Where is this coming from?"
Satoru's full gaze pieced him, the quiet command of six eyes holding him down and stripping him to the bone
"When it gets bad you'll tell me. You do a lot of annoying contemplation that sucks ass."
Suguru's skin prickled, his eyebrow twitched with an amused annoyance. Was he really going to pick a fight with him now? They weren't even an hour into a new year.
"What I'm saying is," Satoru's voice dropped, he moved in closer, head bent, "We're the strongest together. I'm stronger with you here so.. let me make you strong too."
The forest became still, everything around them turned silent.
"Trust me with it, okay?"
Suguru stared up at him, his eyes lit gold against the warm lamps. His mouth parted, stuck around the words in his throat. It bobbed and caught until he felt a sting in his nose.
His head dropped, neck bending towards Satoru as he stared at their feet.
"I can't promise I'll change who I am.. you might just have to put up with annoying contemplation," he huffed a soft laugh that didn't reach his eyes, "But.. I trust you."
His gaze rose back up to meet Satoru's, holding the intense blue eyes with his own. They stared him down, all serious and unyielding.
Satoru moved, his hands coming up to bracket either side of Suguru's cheeks and pulled him in close, gently cushioning his forehead against his. He held them there, trying to absorb whatever spiraling thoughts consumed him.
Suguru watched him, hesitant. The inky feeling that bled through his chest started to flood until the feeling overpowered him completely. His small smile fell and his lips quivered. All the words he wanted to string together seemed to fray and fall apart.
Absorb.. Consume.. That's all it was now. Over and over.
Days fell into weeks that fell into months. A cycle of cutting off the head of one curse only for a thousand more to grow back.
He was tired, exhausted.
Even during this week of respite, it still lingered in the back of his mind. What were they living for? Dying for? Was this the world he’d really just accept?
But then there was Satoru.
Satoru, who he could trust. Satoru, who he met uncaring and standoffish, who instead grew and unfolded like a flower around him. Satoru, who loved him and who he loved back.
Could he share this with him?
What if he were to see the horrible things that lurked inside him and turned to hate it? Hate him?
The gaze that pinned him down was unwavering. Suguru bit his lip, fighting the urge to bottle it up and shrug it off.
If Satoru would catch him then maybe he could just fall.
He swallowed down the fear and dropped his eyes closed. The words that were jumbled under his tongue felt useless to him now. The hands that held him even pleaded for invitation.
Instead he gave in to the silent request and leant in, breathing in the soft smell of fresh linen and white musk.
Their noses brushed, lips ghosting over each other by just millimeters. Everything seemed to have slowed down around them.
They stood enclosed around a heavy roof of trees, Satoru trying to disentangle Suguru from the snares of his mind. Suguru trying to imbue Satoru with all the love and adoration he had in him. For Satoru to know love and be loved.
Suguru let the black swirl of emotions that swam among the curses inside him to bubble out. The back of his throat stung like venom, the corners of his eyes beading with drops. He tilted his chin up and poured himself into soft lips, trying to press in what words couldn't convey.
Satoru's hands pulled him forward, breathing in and drinking him in deep.
They rolled slow, molding together in a familiar dance. The hands on Suguru's cheeks brushed through stray strands and cupped the base of his head, bundling him in close.
Suguru hummed, letting himself be pulled into the current and giving over whatever guard he had left. Satoru engulfed him entirely, filling all his senses until he felt like he was drowning and never wanted to come up for air.
A slick swipe parted chapped lips and Satoru was consuming him, washing over him in steady, hungry waves. Suguru melted into it, holding onto the front of blue robes as the shadows began to slink away, the heavy weight easing off his chest. He drank down each breath, every roll of his tongue until he felt weightless, a calm washing through his veins.
The world seemed to tick to a gradual stop. The year had stopped turning. The grass had stopped growing. All that remained was the two of them, standing on a cold, mossy step in the silent woods.
Suguru reluctantly pulled apart first, heavy puffs clouding the cold air as he caught his breath. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes a little dazed.
Satoru grinned and leant back in to kiss him again, peppering small pecks all over. He dotted each corner of his lips, his cheeks, his jaw, the tip of his nose.
Suguru smiled, trying to catch each one that landed and laughed when it got too fast.
"Okay okay, I get it," he tried to pull away jokingly but Satoru's palms kept him in place.
"Yeah?" His grin stayed playful but he watched him carefully, seriously.
"Yes." Suguru said softly, looking up at him in earnest.
When Satoru didn't let up Suguru pushed at him playfully and he relented, dropping his hands but staying close.
"I won't make it easy for you, though," Suguru's fox eyes teased.
"I know your emo ass won't," Satoru teased back.
He snickered when Suguru's cunning smile fell, then blanched when yellow robes turned resolutely around and started walking down the steps.
"Awh baby no don't leave meee!" Satoru whined, running back to his side and slotting their hands back into place.
Suguru rolled his eyes and Satoru leant into him, giving his cheek a small peck in a truce.
They both climbed down the winding steps, leaving the dimly lit forest behind. Only as they emerged from under the canopy of leaves, did they notice it had already begun to snow. The neighbourhood all around was dusted with a thin layer of white.
"Oh, it actually did snow," Suguru blinked at the dark grey sky as light, powdery flakes flitted to the ground.
He unhooked the small wooden umbrella he kept hanging from his obi and opened it out, holding it up between them.
Satoru took it from him, being a bit taller, and linked their arms together so they could fit underneath.
"Your old man only gave you one on purpose," he snickered.
"I know.. don't remind me.." Suguru groaned, not wanting to think about his parents playing wingman for him.
Satoru giggled and teased at him as they made their way back through the quiet, blanketed neighbourhood. As a warm home waited for their return, they left an old year behind them and a paired trail of prints through the build up of snow.
—
They stayed entangled in Suguru’s room that night, the newly rolled out futon in the study disregarded. The sounds of the night hissed under the heavy blankets.
Suguru reached over to turn off the small floor lamp as Satoru’s breaths fell into a steady rhythm. He saw, placed on top of a folded scarf, the good luck charms Satoru had got back at the festival, the gold writing of Omamori glinting back at him. A pendant of protection for them all to carry.
He smiled at it, thinking of Satoru and Shoko, of the year ahead and words they exchanged. His heart felt heavy thinking about how he would share these worries with his friends. Something that always felt so foreign and easier to bite down.
But then he saw Satoru. Crystalline eyes that saw through his barbed branches. That held him and reassured him. At this fork in the road would he give in and let inky tendrils consume him? Or would he let Satoru cut through and reach him?
He stared into nothing until an arm tugged around his waist and a nose pressed into his side, seemingly to hide from the light and the cold air getting in. Suguru huffed a smile and finished reaching over to flick off the light. He lugged the heavy duvet over his head and buried them both back into the warmth.