Work Text:
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The eyes looked away.
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1.
Cheng Xiaoshi woke up feeling dizzy and disoriented.
Before him was a familiar ceiling*... well, maybe it wasn't the time for jokes. He blinked, gradually coming to his senses. It wasn't the familiar ceiling after all; it was the upper bunk bed he knew so well. The room's curtains were tightly drawn, but faint light leaking through indicated it wasn't early morning, definitely not seven or eight o'clock. He lay in soft, comfortable bedding, the room eerily quiet with dim lighting due to the blocked curtains. The air conditioner hummed quietly, everything so comfortable that he couldn't help but consider drifting back to sleep.
—But there was something more important he needed to confirm.
He stared blankly at the upper bunk's bed board for a while, unsurprisingly hearing no movement. Leaning further, he saw only his own slippers on the floor; the neatly arranged pair that usually sat by the ladder was missing.
...Lu Guang must have already gotten up.
They had been drinking just yesterday, hadn't they? How could Lu Guang get up so early...
After silently criticizing this, he hesitated for a moment before finally sitting up. Despite the strong temptation to go back to sleep, he was more curious about what Lu Guang was doing right now. Cheng Xiaoshi slipped out of bed in his slippers and opened the room door. He suddenly remembered something, went back, grabbed the remote from the table, and turned off the air conditioner. He pulled open all the curtains in the room, letting the warm late summer sunlight flood in and brighten the entire room.
Cheng Xiaoshi went to the bathroom to freshen up. While brushing his teeth, he noticed he was still in his own pajamas, and the small braid at the back of his head had been undone at some point, the black hair tie hanging quietly on the hook next to the mirror. Brushing his teeth and recalling, he vaguely remembered Lu Guang helping him change clothes yesterday. As for when the braid was undone, he couldn't remember. His memories of yesterday were somewhat hazy due to drinking too much, but he had a general impression: the five of them from university went to KTV to drink and sing. Later, he and Lu Guang went home together, tidied up, and then said goodnight to each other and went to sleep. Nothing else happened, he didn't act crazy because of alcohol, except for remembering Lu Guang slipping a bit while climbing to the top bed.
...I did not do anything crazy because of drinking, right?
Hmm, I don't think so.
Although Cheng Xiaoshi was prone to high emotions after drinking, fortunately, he could remember most of what happened when he got drunk. So after reviewing his memories repeatedly, the weight on Cheng Xiaoshi's heart slowly lifted.
At least he hadn't said anything inappropriate to Lu Guang.
Although his stomach still felt a bit uneasy from last night's alcohol, Cheng Xiaoshi felt much better after washing up. He hummed a tune as he descended the stairs, and as expected, he spotted Lu Guang standing at the counter, flipping through documents while sipping coffee. Lu Guang seemed to be in good spirits; there were no dark circles under his eyes—Cheng Xiaoshi knew that if Lu Guang hadn't slept well, his eyes would be slightly tinged with purple, and he'd appear somewhat weary due to lack of sleep.
But today, standing in the sunlight, Lu Guang looked great.
Cheng Xiaoshi's heart raced a bit faster. He stood at the staircase and watched for a while before speaking up.
"Lu Guang!"
Lu Guang glanced up at him in the sunlight. "You're awake?"
"Awake! Why are you up so early?"
"It's already eleven o'clock, not that early."
"We agreed to take a day off today—"
He went down like a cool summer breeze sweep down from upstairs, and his footsteps tapped out a cheerful rhythm on the floor. When he approached Lu Guang, ready to smile at him, he saw Lu Guang pushing something towards him.
It was a glass of water.
"Drink it."
"Oh."
Cheng Xiaoshi picked up the glass and took a big sip. The lukewarm water eased down his throat, gently soothing the knots that had formed in his stomach since he woke up.
"...Take it slow."
He drank every drop of water in the glass and placed it back in front of Lu Guang. "Thanks, Lu Guang~"
"Mm."
Lu Guang redirected his gaze from the documents in his hand. "Let's hold off on breakfast for now. If you're really hungry, there's bread in the fridge. We'll eat lunch soon."
"Got it. But, Lu Guang, aren't you feeling uncomfortable?"
"I'm fine. I didn't drink as much as you did."
"...," Cheng Xiaoshi recalled and realized it was true. But then he remembered something else.
"Your foot?"
"...What about my foot?"
"Didn't you slip when getting into bed yesterday? Did you hurt yourself?"
Perhaps surprised by Cheng Xiaoshi bringing this up, Lu Guang, who had been reading documents, seemed to choke for a moment. Then, after a long silence, he shook his head. "It's nothing, didn't hurt myself."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Alright." Cheng Xiaoshi pursed his lips.
Lu Guang seemed to recall something and looked up at Cheng Xiaoshi.
"Did you turn off the air conditioner?"
"I did, I did~" Cheng Xiaoshi couldn't help but feel smug about his prediction. "I knew you'd ask, so I turned it off when I came down!"
"Mhm."
"Lu Guang, you're really meticulous."
"Considering our current financial situation, saving money is necessary."
"I know, Mister Accountant~"
Cheng Xiaoshi teased, drawing out his words, and then noticed Lu Guang's gaze leaving from him.
As expected, it turned out like this.
Cheng Xiaoshi picked up the nearby kettle and poured himself another glass of water. Holding the cup, he sipped quietly while observing Lu Guang, who was absorbed in reading the documents in front of him.
Lu Guang always quickly averted his gaze whenever it landed on Cheng Xiaoshi.
When did he notice this? Holding his cup, Cheng Xiaoshi pondered. Perhaps it was when he began to spend long periods of time watching Lu Guang, and then he discovered it. He didn't consider himself particularly observant; usually, he gave off a carefree vibe to most people. But when it came to Lu Guang, Cheng Xiaoshi noticed details that only he seemed to know, like when you are walking, you are the only one who knows these gaps in your shoes. He knew these subtle reactions Lu Guang had, such as slightly raising his eyebrows when drinking his favorite milk tea or quietly sighing at the nice weather outside...
And also, Lu Guang would briefly gaze at him.
Such gaze was so teasing. Cheng Xiaoshi thought to himself that Lu Guang would look at him, but when he looked back, Lu Guang would calmly withdraw his gaze as if it were just an ordinary glance, neither avoiding nor hurrying, appearing straightforward and honest. Between them, it was like a shoreline had been drawn, and Lu Guang's gaze was like waves lapping at the shore, approaching him when they were far apart, but silently retreating when he wanted to move closer, much like how Lu Guang always appeared to him – a best friend, a solid support, a reliable family member, but seemingly only that.
...When could Lu Guang look at him a little longer?
The photo studio was quiet, occasionally punctuated by the crisp ring of a bicycle passing by outside the door. The "Closed Today" sign had been hung up yesterday when they returned home; today was a day off. Cheng Xiaoshi stared quietly into space, cup in hand, lost in thought while gazing at Lu Guang in front of him, until Lu Guang's voice snapped him back to reality after a while.
"What are you looking at?"
Lu Guang looked over, his eyes showing a hint of confusion.
Cheng Xiaoshi hesitated for a moment, staring into those eyes.
"...I'm just... doing nothing."
"Are the photos developed yet?"
"Not yet..."
"Then why aren't you going?"
"Right, right..."
Cheng Xiaoshi smiled at Lu Guang and then watched as Lu Guang casually withdrew his gaze.
He wasn't sure if it was his troubled stomach acting up again, but he felt a lightness in his heart, as if butterflies were fluttering inside his stomach.
Taking a deep breath, Cheng Xiaoshi pushed these feelings aside.
He set down his cup, exchanged a smiling with Lu Guang, and turned to enter the darkroom.
2.
The two finished lunch just past one o'clock.
They had decided to sleep in and take a day off today after drinking and singing together last night. But now that it was today, Cheng Xiaoshi suddenly didn't know what to do in the afternoon. There were plenty of things he could do: he could sort out the piled-up, unprocessed photos, maybe maintain the online account of the photo studio, or spend the afternoon gaming. Or he could go back to his room and take a nap, since he rarely had the chance to sleep in this long... Cheng Xiaoshi's mind was a mess as he pondered these options. Finally, he looked up and asked.
"Lu Guang, what are you planning to do this afternoon?"
"... " Perhaps not expecting Cheng Xiaoshi to ask about his plans, Lu Guang, who was washing dishes, paused for a moment. "... Read, I suppose."
"Haven't you finished your previous book?"
"Mm."
"Aren't you going to do anything else?"
"What else do you want to do?"
"... " Now it was Cheng Xiaoshi's turn to be speechless. After a moment of thought, he gave up. "I just didn't know what to do, so I asked you..."
Upon hearing this, Lu Guang seemed to smile, but before Cheng Xiaoshi could see clearly, that slightly lifted corner of his mouth returned to its usual state. "Then just do what you need to do."
"Lu Guang, you're no fun at all—"
They cleaned up the dishes and the kitchen, and as Lu Guang had said, he took a book and went to the sunroom, sitting on the couch in his usual spot to start reading. Cheng Xiaoshi hesitated for a moment before finally giving up, approached with his phone in hand, and sat affectionately next to Lu Guang.
Lu Guang glanced at him.
"Hey hey, come closer~"
He shamelessly leaned against Lu Guang, their arms touching, thighs pressed together. As expected, Lu Guang shifted slightly away, abruptly breaking the warmth between them.
Lu Guang made room for him on the couch.
...Though it put a proper distance between them, Lu Guang didn't reject him, which seemed like enough.
So, Cheng Xiaoshi sat beside Lu Guang, playing games on his phone.
The afternoon sun was hotter than morning, but the temperature had dropped enough that it wasn't uncomfortable. The sunlight brightened the entire sunroom. Cheng Xiaoshi was absorbed in his game, occasionally peeking at Lu Guang next to him, who sat like a statue bathed in sunlight, his gaze seemingly glued to the pages of his book.
...Is it okay for me to be this noisy?
Well, perhaps he's really engrossed in his book...
Cheng Xiaoshi withdrew his gaze from the other. Feeling a bit bored, he slid his finger to close the game.
"What's wrong?"
As the game's background music stopped, Lu Guang's voice filled the air.
"Um... I've been losing, so I don't feel like playing anymore." Cheng Xiaoshi sighed dramatically, yawning widely. He shoved his phone back into his pocket. "And the afternoon sun is making me sleepy..."
"Then go upstairs and sleep," Lu Guang finally turned a page in his book.
"I'm too lazy to move." Cheng Xiaoshi leaned heavily against Lu Guang. "You wouldn't mind if I slept here, right Lu Guang—"
To prevent Lu Guang from refusing, Cheng Xiaoshi quickly lay down on his lap, like a commuter taking a seat in a crowded subway during rush hour. He lay there, satisfied to see Lu Guang set his book aside, and his face mix up with incredulity and confusion. Cheng Xiaoshi realized he had no other option but to please Lu Guang at this moment. He flashed Lu Guang a bright smile, then closed his eyes swiftly.
"...Cheng Xiaoshi!"
"You can't refuse now, I'm already asleep—hmm—"
This is too much. Cheng Xiaoshi thought, Lu Guang must surely shove me off.
Anxious emotions surged through his body with each breath, his heart squeezed in anticipation of Lu Guang's rebuke. He pretended to sleep with closed eyes, waiting for Lu Guang's scolding to break the silence. It might be awkward, but he had gone too far, so he would just laugh it off and go back to upstairs to sleep...
But he waited in the darkness with closed eyes for a long time.
Until he drifted off into a daze, Lu Guang's voice never came.
3.
Cheng Xiaoshi dreamed of a familiar KTV private room.
The disco lights reflected colorful spots on the walls as Xu Shanshan and Dong Yi sang their chosen duet at one end of the sofa, holding microphones. Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling sat at the other end, yelling loudly because they couldn't hear each other.
"What did you say, Qiao Ling?!"
"I said—" Qiao Ling shouted back, "Three 5**—"
"What three 5, Qiao Ling, you're too conservative, six 5!"
"You're so arrogant, Cheng Xiaoshi! There's no way there are six 5!"
Where was Lu Guang?
Cheng Xiaoshi turned to look and found Lu Guang sitting quietly between the two of them.
Qiao Ling nudged Lu Guang with her elbow. "Lu Guang, this guy is too arrogant, give him a taste of his own medicine!"
"Just open the cup," Lu Guang's voice was drowned out by the sound system, but Cheng Xiaoshi could still hear him clearly.
Three dice cups were opened with a crack.
As Cheng Xiaoshi expected, there were indeed six 5.
"Haha!"
"Ah—damn it, how can this guy be so lucky tonight!"
"Fair play, Qiao Ling," Cheng Xiaoshi proudly covered the dice cups back. "Let me think... Oh, help me line up at that new trendy bakery near the university gate!"
"Cheng Xiaoshi, do you know how long the line is at that place?!"
"I do, otherwise I wouldn't ask you to line up for me," Cheng Xiaoshi pushed a half-empty glass of wine towards Qiao Ling. "Or if you don't want to line up, just finish this drink!"
"...Fine, fine, I'll go line up for you!" Qiao Ling was never one to drink much, so she reluctantly chose the other punishment. "Send me what you want to buy! Damn it, next time you have to line up for me!"
"Okay, okay, next time I'll line up for you!"
Cheng Xiaoshi turned his head again and looked mischievously at Lu Guang.
"Lu Guang—"
Lu Guang seemed momentarily surprised by his expression, but quickly returned to normal and nodded.
"Fair play. What do you want me to do? Line up for bread for you too?"
What could he possibly ask Lu Guang to do?
It was strange. When he casually made requests to Qiao Ling, he naturally thought of punishment ideas. But when he saw Lu Guang's face, it felt like his brain suddenly lost power.
What did he want Lu Guang to do for him?
Maybe he wanted Lu Guang to do too many things.
At this moment, there were indeed many things he wanted to tell Lu Guang.
Cheng Xiaoshi looked at Lu Guang, who waited quietly for his answer even in the dim light. His heartbeat quickened, his ears grew warm, and his chest felt like it was filled with overflowing spring water.
He really wanted to tell Lu Guang. He really wanted to tell Lu Guang.
But his mouth opened and closed again. Trembling, Cheng Xiaoshi closed his eyes. His rationality seemed to tightly bind up the emotions about to overflow, remembering how Lu Guang had always kept a certain distance from him, how Lu Guang would hide things from him, how Lu Guang's gaze would naturally move away when placed on him.
He realized he might not be ready. He couldn't bear the possibility of Lu Guang rejecting him at this moment.
...If Lu Guang rejected him in front of so many people, they might not even remain friends in the future.
He didn't want that.
The two of them remained silent for five minutes. Even Qiao Ling beside them couldn't stand it anymore. She patted Cheng Xiaoshi's head. "Just say it!"
"Ouch... That hurts, Qiao Ling!"
"You punish others without revealing the task, enjoying the suspense, huh?"
I'm not the one enjoying the suspense, Cheng Xiaoshi grumbled discontentedly, but he honestly voiced his thoughts. "I don't know what would be good for Lu Guang to do—"
"If you don't know, then cancel it."
"What?! No, I can't cancel it. How can I waste such a rare opportunity?!"
"Then think of something!"
"Um... Um..."
After thinking for a while, Cheng Xiaoshi still couldn't come up with a good idea. Suddenly, a flash of inspiration struck him.
"Lu Guang, why don't you owe me for now!"
"...Owe you?"
"Yes! Since I haven't figured out what I want you to do yet," Cheng Xiaoshi said as he rummaged through the small notebook and pen provided by the KTV on the table. He handed them to Lu Guang. "Lu Guang, just write me an IOU for now!"
Lu Guang looked somewhat speechless. He glanced at the pen and paper in his hand, then back at Cheng Xiaoshi. "What should I write?"
"Um... Write something like, 'I owe Cheng Xiaoshi one favor, and promise to fulfill it in the future', something like that would do.'"
The concept of writing an IOU sounded a bit awkward, but after a moment of silence, Lu Guang finally bowed his head and began writing earnestly, word by word. After a short while, Lu Guang handed the paper and pen back to Cheng Xiaoshi.
"Here."
Cheng Xiaoshi took the pen and paper, trying to read it in the dim light of the private room. It was written in Lu Guang's familiar handwriting, clear and precise:
"IOU
I, Lu Guang, hereby write this IOU at xxKTV, xx Road, xx Street, on xx date of xx month, 20xx.
I promise Cheng Xiaoshi that I will fulfill one favor he wishes me to do in the future, which will not involve any illegal activities and is within my capability.
This IOU serves as proof.
Lu Guang
xx date of xx month, 20xx"
...Should he say Lu Guang was too meticulous or too old-fashioned?
Cheng Xiaoshi felt somewhat speechless seeing the carefully detailed conditions Lu Guang had filled in. But as his eyes wandered, he noticed the first line Lu Guang had written: "I promise Cheng Xiaoshi." Maybe he had had a bit too much to drink, because seeing his own name written so seriously and familiarly by Lu Guang made his mood soar like a balloon flying high in the sky. His vision blurred and cleared again as he held the slightly crumpled paper stupidly, smiling. The voices of Qiao Ling and Lu Guang were in his ears.
"...Guang Guang, you're really letting him have his way, aren't you?"
"It's fine." Lu Guang's gaze fell on the half-full glass of wine, his tone sounding no different from usual. "Just fulfilling a bet."
Qiao Ling sighed and called out to Cheng Xiaoshi. "Cheng Xiaoshi... Cheng Xiaoshi! Stop grinning like an idiot, if you like it that much, hurry up and put away your precious IOU."
"Of course I'll keep it safe, I definitely will!"
Cheng Xiaoshi carefully folded the IOU and tucked it into the inner pocket of his jacket, then jumped up to head to the song selection machine.
"Hey Cheng Xiaoshi, aren't you going to continue?!"
"I want to sing—"
He was in such a good mood, he needed to sing happily.
But where did this IOU end up in the end?
4.
Cheng Xiaoshi woke abruptly from his dream.
Perhaps his awakening was too abrupt, because the first thing he saw was Lu Guang's somewhat flustered face. He breathed heavily, panting for a while before managing to calm down his racing heartbeat.
Cheng Xiaoshi widened his eyes, recalling the details of the dream.
...The things in the dream weren't dreams at all. They were things they had done yesterday.
So where did that IOU go?
"...Cheng Xiaoshi?"
Cheng Xiaoshi's gaze shifted to Lu Guang's face, finding him quietly looking at him with a slight furrow in his brow. Before Cheng Xiaoshi could say anything, he felt the cool touch of Lu Guang's palm on his forehead.
"Did you have a bad dream?" Lu Guang's voice sounded hesitant.
...Ah, it seemed like he had a bad dream indeed.
Cheng Xiaoshi suddenly understood why Lu Guang looked somewhat worried. He gently patted Lu Guang's hand with his palm against Lu Guang's back of the hand. "...I'm fine, Lu Guang."
"...Really?"
"Really."
"...Okay." Lu Guang withdrew his hand.
Cheng Xiaoshi sat up, feeling a bit confused as he tried to recall. He couldn't remember where he had put that IOU, the only thing he could recall was the moment he had placed it in the inner pocket of his jacket. His jacket was upstairs, and right now he really wanted to go and verify its existence. So, without a second thought, he quickly stood up and dashed upstairs.
"...Cheng Xiaoshi?!"
"I'm going back upstairs to sleep!"
Cheng Xiaoshi rushed back to their room and closed the door behind him. He searched frantically for his jacket, which he had left lying on the floor. Despite checking every pocket thoroughly, including the inner ones, that piece of paper seemed to have vanished into thin air. Refusing to give up, he then went through every piece of clothing and pants he had worn yesterday, even scouring the entire floor of the room, but the IOU never surfaced.
Just like Lu Guang, who had waited for his answer so earnestly, like Lu Guang who had bowed his head to write his name, it all felt like nothing more than a dream.
The room was left in disarray from his searching. He sat forlornly on the lower bunk, feeling somewhat defeated. He mused hazily that perhaps it really was just a dream after all—they hadn't drunk any alcohol at the KTV, and Lu Guang hadn't actually written him any IOU.
Yet he still longed for that thin piece of paper, because Lu Guang had written his name on it, and Lu Guang had made a promise to him. Cheng Xiaoshi had to admit he had been somewhat selfish when he asked Lu Guang for the IOU at the KTV, hoping that it might grant him some leniency in the future.
Lu Guang was a man of his word, Cheng Xiaoshi thought. So if I am rejected by him in the future, at least I could use this IOU to continue being friends with him.
But now he no longer had that IOU.
Cheng Xiaoshi sat there, staring blankly for who knows how long. Suddenly, his phone rang. He checked it and saw a message from Qiao Ling on WeChat.
"What kind of bread do you want? Why haven't you sent me your order yet! I'm going to queue up soon!"
...Oh, right, there's that too.
He absentmindedly tapped on Qiao Ling's profile picture, entered her Moments, and his eyes widened.
—Yesterday, when they were singing at the KTV, Qiao Ling took some photos.
There were several, filling up the nine-grid layout of her Moments. Although they had sung for hours yesterday, he wasn't sure exactly when these photos were taken, but at least they were clues.
Cheng Xiaoshi's mind raced.
Finding something like this would normally be something Lu Guang would be best at, but he couldn't go to Lu Guang now—Lu Guang might just say, "If it's lost, it's lost," and it would be hard to get another IOU from him.
Based on his past experiences of entering these photos, the emotions and states during their capture would influence his own perceptions to some extent. Just like how he felt the heartbeat of Xu Shanshan in her photos. Therefore, if he wanted to know where the IOU was, it would be best to choose someone who is sober. Qiao Ling hadn't drunk much alcohol yesterday, so he would likely remain relatively sober after entering the photos...
Cheng Xiaoshi sifted through several photos and finally settled on one. In it, he was the protagonist, with a broad smile, holding a microphone and singing.
This was probably right after he had received the IOU.
I'm just looking for clues.
Cheng Xiaoshi repeated to himself over and over, closing his eyes again and emphasizing silently in his heart.
I won't do anything that contradicts what happened before. I'll follow Qiao Ling's actions and recreate what happened yesterday.
I won't change anything.
He placed his phone on the lower bunk bed, and clasped his hands together.
5.
"Great singing, Cheng Xiaoshi!"
Cheng Xiaoshi looked at Qiao Ling beside him shouting loudly, his eyes widening.
This photo wasn't taken by Qiao Ling.
He wasn't possessing Qiao Ling.
Then he...
He shifted his gaze back to himself singing in the photo.
He was excitedly singing the last two lines of the song. Cheng Xiaoshi gradually recalled that he was genuinely happy at that moment. Just before finishing the song, he struck a goofy pose towards Qiao Ling and Lu Guang's direction, giving them a smile.
The current him singing in the photo indeed did just that.
Then he began to feel his heartbeat gradually speeding up, making his face flush hot, pounding like a drum.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
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Those eyes fixed their gaze on him and never looked away since.
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0.
"Ah!"
After going through great effort to help Cheng Xiaoshi change into his pajamas and settle the drunken Cheng Xiaoshi down, Lu Guang had just climbed halfway up to his upper bunk when he suddenly heard Cheng Xiaoshi cry out in pain from below.
"Cheng Xiaoshi?"
Without hesitation, he hurriedly jumped down from the ladder, barefoot, and quickly walked over to Cheng Xiaoshi's lower bunk.
"It hurts..."
The person in front of him gritted his teeth and gasped for breath. Lu Guang, in the dim light, gently felt the back of Cheng Xiaoshi's head and realized that he must have bumped it against the bed frame when lying down just now. Fortunately, Cheng Xiaoshi, being somewhat clumsy, hadn't hit it too hard, and his head was only slightly swollen.
"It's okay. You didn't hit it too hard."
Lu Guang absentmindedly took off his hair tie and looped it around his wrist. He lightly touched Cheng Xiaoshi's head to comfort him and then helped cover him with the blanket.
"Go to sleep."
"Lu Guang."
"Mm?"
Turning his head to look, Lu Guang saw that after calling out to him, Cheng Xiaoshi didn't say anything more. He sat there, observing Cheng Xiaoshi's face, where his gaze lingered quietly. Even in the dim room, there seemed to be a flicker of emotion in Cheng Xiaoshi's eyes.
Lu Guang tried to do as he usually did and avert his gaze, but he found himself unable to do so at this moment.
Like the sea staring at the night sky, they gazed at each other in the quiet of three in the morning.
After a while, Cheng Xiaoshi smiled at him.
"Lu Guang."
"Mm."
"Let's sleep now."
"Okay."
"Good night."
Lu Guang felt a lightness in his heart, yet it also felt like butterflies were fluttering inside his stomach.
Taking a deep breath, he withdrew his gaze and pushed these feelings aside.
"Good night, Cheng Xiaoshi."
He said that to him.
(END)