Chapter Text
Bucky spun the top hat and waited for the portal to open.
The top hat twirled around before tipping over and falling on its side.
Hysterical laughter rippled through Bucky as he picked the hat up and tossed it onto one of the many towers he had created. So many hats. Floor to ceiling. Small ones. Large ones. Red. Blue. Paisley. Velvet. Muskrat felt. Peachbloom. Ah, yes peachbloom. Peachbloom! Peachbloom! Little white rabbits turned into hats.
None of it worked.
Bucky threw his head back as he flung his arm through a pile of hats, knocking them over.
Not one worked. Not one could take him back to his world, back to the Enchanted Forest, back to Steve. Oh, poor, poor Steve. Poor little Steve who got sick if someone so much as breathed on him wrong.
Yes, yes, poor Steve.
He should have never agreed to the deal that had brought him to Wonderland. Should have known that traitorous wench would trick him.
But Steve. He’d wanted to do something nice for Steve.
Bucky picked up a yard of cloth and unraveled it.
Another hat. Just one more would do. He’d already made millions. One more. He’d get it right this time and have a hat could create a portal between worlds, just like his old one.
Yes, just one more. Just one—
“Aye, mate, I think you already have enough hats,” a voice said.
Bucky whirled, scissors raised to stab the intruder.
A man close to Bucky in height, dressed in dark leather, and a long coat lounged in the stone door frame of Bucky’s room. His shirt was tugged open to reveal his chest where a glowing metal device rested over his heart. His facial hair trimmed in an odd manner, and he carried the scent of the sea and rum.
A pirate.
“Did her majesty send you?” Bucky spat.
The man raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “Now which Queen would that be?”
“The Queen of Hearts.”
“Certainly not the queen of my heart.” The pirate eyed Bucky up and down. He licked his lips and slid off the door frame. The new position allowed Bucky to see the gauntlet the pirate wore on his left hand.
The pirate sauntered into the room and ran his fingers along the pillars of hats.
Bucky scowled. He could make a fine hat from the man’s coat.
The pirate paused. “Not going to scream for the guards, mate?”
Bucky smirked. “She’s not the queen of my heart either. I don’t care what you do.” Bucky sashayed up to the pirate then grabbed him by the collar of his coat. He rammed the blades of his scissors as close to the pirate’s throat as he could without beheading the man.
Bucky frowned.
Beheadment was painful; he would know.
“Touch the hats any more though, and I will use your skin for my next one.”
“Don’t point those blades at me, love, or I will be forced to draw my own.” The pirate pushed the scissors away with his finger.
Bucky yielded. “Waste of my time,” he grumbled and headed back to his worktable. How much time had he already wasted?
Steve. He needed to get back to his friend Steve.
The pirate sidled up behind Bucky and watched Bucky work.
“Tell me, why do you need so many hats, love?” The pirate asked.
Bucky scowled. “Need to get home. Need to get to Steve.”
The pirate was silent for a moment.
“I don’t think a hat will do you much good there,” the pirate said.
“It will! Once I recreate my hat, I can jump through the portal and go home to Steve.” Bucky sliced the fabric for his next hat.
“A hat that can jump through portals, you say? Such an intriguing hat that would be indeed. Tell me, where did you last leave your hat? Perhaps I can find it.”
Bucky sneered. The pirate was taunting him. “It was last with that bitch of a queen. Wanda.”
The pirate was silent again.
Good. Bucky liked it that way.
“So what would you do if say some handsome, roguish devil, had gotten a hold of your hat?”
Bucky chuckled darkly. “Kiss him or kill him.”
The pirate reached into his coat and pulled out Bucky’s hat, albeit crushed. “I would prefer the kiss.”
“Y-you,” Bucky sputtered, unable to believe his eyes. He’d thought himself mad before, but he must have truly lost his mind now. His hat could not be in front of him. After all this time—after all these hats.
Bucky tentatively touched the rim of his hat and felt a thrum of magic that he’d never felt from the ones he’d made in all his time in Wonderland. He snatched the hat up. “How did you get this?”
“Apparently Wanda has a bit of a grudge with the Queen of Hearts, and I was sent here to dispose of the latter by literally ripping out her heart.” The pirate rolled his eyes. “Dramatic.” He leaned casually on top of Bucky’s worktable and crossed his legs. “A little too dramatic. I was actually just questioning my choice in ally when I saw you. Now that I know she is not one to be trusted, I think I rather go home to the Enchanted Forest and find some honest work.”
The pirate smirked. “Well, as honest as a pirate’s work gets. Would you like to join me? Sounds like you’re probably from the Enchanted Forest too if Queen Wanda is the one who betrayed you.”
“I’ll finally see Steve again,” Bucky mumbled.
The pirate put a hand over his chest. “Keep saying another man’s name and you’ll break my heart, love. I am still waiting on that kiss, by the way.”
Bucky snapped his head up. He held the hat close to his chest. “I keep the hat.”
The pirate held up his hands in surrender. “Of course.”
Bucky grinned madly and seized the pirate by the collar of his coat again. “What’s your name, pirate?”
The pirate batted his eyelashes at Bucky. “I’ve been called many things, but for you, call me Tony.”
“Tony,” Bucky repeated, getting a feel for the man’s name on his lips. His grin widened. He yanked Tony forward and smashed their lips together.