Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

French fries
3:54 pm

Joel: I blinded myself for a second
Gem: Don’t do that
Joel: It’s okay it came back
Gem: That’s good

Chapter Text

Joel —-> Gem
3:15 pm

Joel: ETHO
Joel: ETHOFJFKDJ HI
Joel: ETHO HI
Joel: VI ETHO
Joel: HI ETHOIFJIDHDH
Joel: IDHJFHJHSKS
Gem: JOEL
Joel: ETDO HI
Joel: HI ETHOFKDJKJIJDHI
Joel: HLEOFJIJFHUHUHHEH
Gem: I'M NOT WITH ETHO ANYMORE
*Read 3:18 pm*

Chapter Text

Can of Soup
6:43 am

Scott: Fuck the weather mann

Jimmy: Fuck the weather.

Scott: Zeus

Scott: I’m about to disembody your fucking dick or smth man

Scott: You can’t keep getting away with this
Jimmy: LMAO

Jimmy: I’M ABOUT TO DISEMBODY YOUR DICK

Chapter Text

Grian —-> Pearl
3:01 pm

Pearl: BEAT UP THE CHILDREN YES

Grian: EXAAACTLY

Grian: YOU GOT THIS

Grian: AS LONG AS YOU KNOW HOW TO BEAT UP CHILDREN

Grian: YOU’LL BE JUST FINE

Chapter Text

Mumbo —> Grian
1:05 pm

Grian: Bink

Mumbo: Bonk

Grian: Boink

Mumbo: Biank

___
Grian —-> Scar
8:56 am

Scar: Nom

Grian: FUCK UPU

Chapter Text

Can of Soup
3:23 pm

Scott: Goodie he’s coming home

Scott: UGH

Scott: Okay Leonardo DiCaprio haircut is the choice methinks

Scott: Thanks Leo

Scott: Now if only you played an actual good character in a movie

Chapter Text

Can of Soup
5:22 pm

Scott: Hey guys

Scott: what do demons want

Jimmy: heh???

Lizzie: Souls of the dead

Scott: Souls of the dead…

Scott: Hmm

Chapter Text

French Fries
11:23 am

Mumbo: Wait Grian where are you again?

Grian: I’m in El Salvador

Mumbo: Oh yeah

Grian: Did that send?

Mumbo: Yes

Grian: I met a cow

Grian: *picture of cow*

Mumbo: Cool

Grian: And a stray dog Bingo

Mumbo: Cute

Grian: And a rlly annoying rooster that wakes me up

Grian: I can’t believe I have WiFi rn this is crazy

Mumbo: That’s wild

Chapter Text

French Fries
7:14 am

Gem: *Picture of a raccoon on her porch*

Cleo: Oh cute…

Pearl: HELP

Pearl: THATS IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD

Pearl: IM DONE

Grian: 😂

Joel: AHH

Pearl: IM GONNA CRY GEM

Pearl: WHAT IF IT STARTS TO LIVE UNDER OUR DECK

Pearl: TILLIE GOES DOWN THERE ALL THE TIME

Gem: It’s so cute

Chapter Text

French Fries
5:12 pm

Grian: Who wants to bring me chick fil a

Scar: if I could drive I could

Scar: how’s scenic going?

Grian: FOOOD

Scar: oh!

Scar: does no one have any?

Grian: I’m gonna DIEEE

Grian: nooo

Scar: oop

Chapter Text

French Fries
9:03 am

Joel: I dreamed Xisuma ran a scuba diving club

Gem: That’s great
___

French Fries
6:57 pm

Joel: Guys

Joel: What should I make my rock

Etho: *name

Cleo: rcok
___

French Fries
10:43 pm

Bdubs: I just got my tooth put back in

Gem: Oh that sounds so fun

Pearl: Oh the one you lost at Etho’s house?

Chapter Text

Can of Soup
8:13 pm

Scott: THY END IS NIGH

Scott: CALAMITY IS UPON US

Scott: XORNOTH IS COMING

Jimmy: LMAOOO

Jimmy: THE APOCALYPSE

Scott: APOCALYPSE IS NOW JIMMY

Scott: THERE IS NO SAVING HUMANITY

Scott: OUR FAITH IS AT A LOSS

Scott: IT ENDS NOW

Jimmy: are you kidding meee

Jimmy: It’s currently a thunderstorm outside my house

Jimmy: 😡

Scott: NODIZSISJSJSOXD

Chapter Text

Can of Soup
11:23 am

Scott: Lizzie where can we hang out

Lizzie: lmaoo idk

Lizzie: Umm

Lizzie: we could go to like the mall??

Scott: YOURE A GENIUS

Scott: AND WE CAN STEAL

Scott: AND ROB

Scott: AND KILL

Scott: I LIKE IT

Scott: when

Chapter Text

Can of Soup
1:20 pm

Scott: JIMMYUY

Scott: WAKE UP

Scott: DO YOU PLAY MINECRAFT JIMMY

Jimmy: I DO

Jimmy: ON PS4

Scott: CAN U PLAAAAY

Jimmy: GIVE ME 10 MINUTES TO GET HOME

Jimmy: Then sure :)

Scott: LETS GAHSJSJSJ

Scott: IDEALLY WE ROB LIZZIE

Jimmy: LMAOOO

Chapter Text

Grian —> Gem
10:29 pm

Grian: gkemdj

Grian: gem can u do smth for me

Gem: does it involve TNT

Grian: …

Grian: Never mind

Gem: LMAOO

Chapter Text

Gem —> Pearl
9:36 pm

Gem: Pearl!

Pearl: Gem!

Gem: PEARL

Pearl: GEM

Gem: Pearl

Pearl: Gem

Gem: Pearl

Pearl: Gem

Gem: Pearl

Pearl: GEM

Gem: Pearl

Pearl: Gem

Gem: Pearl

Pearl: Gem

Gem: Pearl

Gem: I feel sorta bad I haven’t given you a real conversation in days.

Chapter Text

Etho —> Cleo
12:11 pm

Etho: UGHDJD

Etho: good morning Cleo

Cleo: tis the afternoon

Etho: Fuck

Cleo: Mood

Chapter Text

Grian —> Gem
9:37 am

Grian: Gem

Grian: do smth for me

Gem: sure what’s up

Grian: do a silly lil dance

Gem: I’m baking 😭

Grian: DO IT WHILE BAKING EZ

Gem: NOT RLLY

Chapter Text

Joel —> Etho
7:33 pm

Joel: HIII

Joel: watcha doiiiin

Etho: texting my friend

Joel: NO WAY

Joel: FRIENDS!

Etho: LITERALLY

Etho: yea idk if you’ve heard of him

Etho: his name’s Joel

Joel: gasp!!

Joel: I haven’t actually

Joel: He sounds really hot and sexy

Etho: yes indeed he is

Joel: HELP???

Joel: Can you give me his number

Etho: I don’t know it man sorry

Joel: AW NUTS

Joel: THERE GO MY WEEKEND PLANS

Chapter Text

Gem —> Scott
7:38 pm

Gem: I have no social life Scott

Gem: I haven’t MADE any more friends

Scott: OH WTF

Scott: OKAY WE GOTTA GET YOUUU LAID /j

Gem: HELP

Scott: hmmmmm

Gem: BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR GEM: GET HER LAID

Scott: YES

Scott: EXACTLY

Scott: ITS PERFECT

Chapter Text

Cleo —> Pearl
5:18 pm

Cleo: Hey Pearl

Cleo: do u wanna get girlfriends

Pearl: that would be very nice

Cleo: felt

Pearl: why do u ask

Cleo: idk I just thought it would be funny

Pearl: fair

Cleo: do u wanna talk about pretty woman

Pearl: always

Chapter Text

Scar —> Grian

2:21 pm

Scar: whatcha doin gri

Grian: eating pizza :D

Scar: WHAT

Scar: GVIE ME SOME

Scar: actually no i had a burger and im gonna die if i eat smth else

Grian: don’t do that

Scar: too late

Scar: im dead all over you

Scar: bleh

Grian: bleh

Scar: blehh

Grian: blehhhhh

Chapter Text

Grian —> Mumbo
6:18 pm

Grian: what are you up to now

Grian: are you smoking

Grian: beep

Grian: that’s the sound a denotator makes

Mumbo: I am not smoking lmao

Mumbo: I’m reading

Grian: close enough

Mumbo: um

Mumbo: sure

Chapter Text

Can of Soup
9:07 pm

Jimmy: on a completely unrelated note have either of you watched BBC Sherlock?

Lizzie: no :(

Jimmy: once you’ve finished Good Omens? Watch it

Jimmy: they’re so gay

Jimmy: like not fully gay

Jimmy: but I’ve never seen Benedict Cucumber more gay

Jimmy: well actually

Jimmy: he was kinda gay for iron man

Jimmy: like i could see it

Chapter Text

Can of Soup
10:06 pm

Scott: Jesus CHRIST GUYS JULY WAS TWO MONTHS AGO

Scott: oh wait it wasn’t

Scott: sorry I’m a lil dumb

Lizzie: that is incorrect

Jimmy: LMAOOO

Lizzie: Scott 😭

Lizzie: it is July 30th

Scott: IT

Scott: I

Scott: WELL

Scott: WAIT WHEN IS PRIDE MONTH

Jimmy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHH

Jimmy: SCOTT

Jimmy: IM WHEEEEZING

Scott: this is embarrassing that’s too many mistakes in one bit

Jimmy: ITS IN JUNE SWEETHEART

Scott: SHUT UP

Scott: 😭😭😭

Chapter Text

✨Magic(al) Mountain✨

Skizz: shijsjsklf

Skizz: hi chat

Skizz: how we doing

Skizz: ahh

Gem: i’m doing good

Gem: thank u

Joel: Fabulous

Joel: Fantastic

Joel: Flippant

Joel: Fancy

Joel: Fly

Joel: Frickin awesome

Joel: F-amazing

Gem: famazing

Joel: ITS A WORD.

Chapter Text

Grian —> Gem
5:21 pm

Grian: Do you want Starbucks you ungrateful child

Gem: lmao

Gem: yes plz

Chapter Text

Can of Soup
5:25 pm

Lizzie: GUYS THERES A NB PERSON ON MY SCIENCE HW

Jimmy: LETS GOOOOO

Jimmy: GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY

Lizzie: THE GAYS HAVE WON

Scott: YOOOOOOSJSJAKSK

Scott: LETS GOOOSJANABA

Scott: GAYS ARE NOW CANON IN SCIENCE YEAHHHHHHHHH

Lizzie: YAAAAAJDJSJS

Chapter Text

✨Magic(al) Mountain✨
3:47 pm

Joel: y’all I accidentally pulled on my earring and now it’s bleeding shit

Mumbo: how have you done this

Joel: i do not know

Joel: but idk what to do

Mumbo: i am not a professional

Mumbo: with that noted, put a band aid on it

Joel: how am i to do that

Mumbo: good question

Mumbo: i do not know

4:30 pm

Impulse: oh god

Impulse: I assume it’s stopped now?? 😭

Joel: yeah but like

Joel: what if it gets infected like what am i to do

Impulse: die ig 🤷

Joel: oh well

Joel: if i must

Impulse: 😂😂😂

Gem: water maybe ☺️

Gem: drink some water

Joel: that will solve

5:21 pm

Mumbo: guys i think joel died

Mumbo: the water didn’t help 😔

Impulse: Rest in pieces 😇😇

Mumbo: PIECES LMAO

Gem: mumbo i don’t think texting the group chat counts as studying…

Mumbo: SHUT UP GEMMM

Chapter Text

✨Magic(al) mountain✨
6:05 am

Grian: mario

Scar: mario

Skizz: mario

Joel: [responding to an image from Scar] what is the POINT of sending us just a random picture of your hand then??

Scar: mario

Gem: luigi!

Scar: bowser

Scar: …jr!

Impulse: toad

Chapter Text

Scar —> Cleo
9:21 pm

Cleo: where IS HE

Scar: is this ur way of telling me ur trying to fuck my father

Cleo: scar do want a lil sibling

Chapter Text

✨Magic(al) Mountain✨
7:31 am

Grian: guyssss

Grian: we’re getting joel laaaaid

Mumbo: what

Joel: NO WE’RE NOT

Joel: WHAT

Mumbo: ???

Grian: might as well tbh.

Joel: I AM GETTING A NUMBER

Mumbo: ??????

Joel: THAT IS SO DIFFERENT

Mumbo: someone explain?

Grian: HASFHDJSKS

Grian: should i.

Joel: yes lmao

Gem: i look away for FIVE FUCKING SECONDS

Grian: oh my god

Grian: joel

Grian: permission to get a photo from these fuckers

Grian: and give it to “them”

Mumbo: EXPLAIN PLEASE

Grian: JUST WAAAAAAAIT

Grian: let the fireworks happen pretty people.

Mumbo: what the hell do you mean???

Chapter Text

Joel —-> Cleo
9:53 pm

Joel: WHERE DID YOU GET THE BALLS

Cleo: from the dragon 😔

Joel: CACKLING

Chapter Text

Joel —-> Gem
4:46 pm

Joel: gem

Joel: when does being productive get easier

Gem: when you get prescribed adderall

Joel: gem

Joel: can you give me some adderall

Gem: i don’t have any sorry

Joel: wah

Gem: apologies

Joel: do u think i can steal some

Gem: that would be drug trafficking

Joel: yeah can you do tjat for me

Gem: mmm

Gem: no

Chapter Text

✨Magic(al) Mountain✨
4:01 pm

Joel: *screenshot of a notification from Duolingo saying “What’s wrong, babe?”*

Joel: WHY IS DUOLINGO CALLING ME BABE

Grian: STOPPSJSJSJSJS

Grian: duolingo is way to freaky for a language app

Joel: SO REAL

Grian: duolingo promised to send one of my friends “exclusive pictures” 😭😭😭

Grian: LIKE WHAT.

Joel: HELP?? 😭😭

Grian: this bird needs to be locked away???

Chapter Text

Grian —-> Mumbo
5:45 pm

Grian: I made mac and cheese the wrong way do you want a bowl?

Grian: It’s actually quite good

Mumbo: what do you mean the “wrong way”

Mumbo: should I be concerned

Grian: oh, i did it the reverse way

Mumbo: that clears up nothing

Chapter Text

Joel —> Gem
9:33 pm

Joel: wake the fuck up samurai

Joel: we have a cunt to burn

Joel: i’m bored

Joel: and i need your help

Gem: lmao I was just about to text you

Gem: what’s up

Joel: hw

Joel: now

Joel: reflection

Joel: help me

Joel: before i blow my brains out /j

Gem: :((

Gem: *Photo of a google doc with a short paragraph written on it*

Gem: This is literally the kind of thing i’m writing

Gem: super basic

Gem: don’t worry too much about it

Joel: that’s brilliant

Joel: wow i wanna fuck my boyfriend right now

Joel: this writing is putting me to sleep

Gem: IM SOBBINH

Joel: LMAOSIDJSIKD

Gem: WHAT THE FUCK

Joel: DO YOU NOT THINK THAT

Joel: all this time writing

Joel: when i could be putting a baby in this man rn.

Gem: what is wrong with you

Chapter Text

Scott —-> Cleo
10:48 pm

Scott: yk what would make me happy.

Cleo: what

Scott: If i could give you a big hug

Cleo: 😭🫶🫶

Scott: and if jimmy could like sit on my face tbh.

Scott: but i’ll take that

Scott: ily

Cleo: oh

Cleo: LMAOOO

Cleo: I WAS NOT PREPARED

Scott: LMFAOJKSKS

Scott: YOU WERE NOT??

Scott: IM SOBBING

Cleo: ITS TOO LATE FOR THIS

Chapter Text

Traffic lights
11:35 am

Grian: guys i’ve been working on a minecraft server for too long

Grian: help me

Gem: stop working on your minecraft server

Grian: NO HOW ABOUT YOU PLAY ON IT 😡😡

Gem: LMAOOO

Gem: I WILL TODAY IF YOURE FREE

Scar: have you slept grian

2:29 pm
Gem: I’m pretty sure he died

Gem: not enough sleep 😞

Scar: rip 🪦

Jimmy: loser

Gem: the duality of man

Chapter Text

Scott —-> Pearl
8:24 am

Scott: wydd

Pearl: scrolling on my phone

Pearl: procrastinating hw

Scott: mood

Pearl: wbu

Scott: also on my phone

Scott: about to finish dragon ball z :0

Scott: tis such a good show

Pearl: ARE U DEFEATING DUDES WITH DRAGON’S BALLS??

Pearl: oh the show

Scott: THAT IS NOT

Scott: YES THE SHOW

Scott: U SAID THAT ON PURPOSE.

Pearl: ARE THE DUDES DEFEATING OTHER DUDES WITH DRAGONS BALLS

Scott: STRANGELY ENOUGH

Scott: YES

Scott: THATS KIND OF THE ENTIRE SHOW

Pearl: LMFAO

Pearl: balls :3

Scott: shut up.

Pearl: HAH

Scott: balls are NOT FUNNY 😡😡

Pearl: BALLS ARE HILARIOUS

Scott: WHY ARE BALLS HILARIOUS

Pearl: UHH

Pearl: because i don’t have them probably.

Scott: probably.

Scott: i’d hope to christ you don’t

Pearl: LMFAO

Scott: I don’t really want to KNOW if you do though.

Pearl: i have chest balls

Pearl: chesticles

Scott: kill yourself

Pearl: LMFAO

Scott: chesticles should NOT BE A WORD

Scott: INSIDE YOUR LEXICON

Pearl: THEY ARE FOR ME

Scott: WHY…

Pearl: BECAUSE ITS FUNNY???

Scott: NUH UH

Pearl: YEAH??

Pearl: HOW ARE THEY NOT FUNNY

Scott: CHEST BALLS

Scott: ARE LAME

Scott: that’s why

Scott: gottem

Chapter Text

Traffic Lights
10:51 PM

Grian: HII GANGGG

Grian: mumbo im shaking and quacking for the apts.

Martyn: quack 🦆

Grian: HELP MESJSJJSJ

Martyn: quack!

Grian: I MEANT KWEAKING

Grian: WHATS THAT WORD

Grian: LIKE

Grian: EARTH QUAKE

Grian: THE LAST WORD OF THAT

Grian: WITH AN ING

Martyn: quaking?

Grian: YESSSS

Grian: THATTTT

Martyn: NOOO I LIKE QUACKING BETTER

Grian: HELP MESJJSSJSJ

Grian: you’re so smart my child

Grian: raised you well 🫡

Martyn: thank u father

Grian: My bird instincts kicked in!!!

Grian: I GOT YOUUU

Grian: raising a smart one!!! (I’ve forgotten to feed you 😕)

Martyn: STOP LMFAOOOOO

Chapter Text

Scott —-> Jimmy
10:48 am

Scott: wake up

Jimmy: no you

Scott: wake up

Jimmy: no

Scott: i love you 🫂

Jimmy: ilym 🫂🫂

Scott: what’s ur fav kinda tea

Chapter Text

✨Magic(al) mountain✨
2:47 pm

Impulse: I don’t know the purpose of that but i am interested, intrigued, and going to bring the hat the cow and the boy all separately

Mumbo: …where are you getting a cow from

Impulse: Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to… (Also just outside the shopping district there’s like 20 cows in a pasture and surely no one would notice if one just… never came back…)

Mumbo: 😭😭❤️

Grian: steal Joel’s two cows 🫶🫶

Grian: see if they’re real

Mumbo: LMAO

Mumbo: drive to Wales

Joel: It’s not Wales you geographically challenged moron /j

9:23 am
Gem: Joel you can’t point to Portugal on a fucking map

Joel: AT LEAST I KNOW WHERE MY FRIENDS COUNTRY OF ORIGIN IS.
Gem: AT LEAST I CAN POINT TO MY OWN COUNTRY OF ORIGIN.

Gem: YOU HAD TO GUESS TO FIND ENGLAND

Joel: I WAS DOING A BIT.

Gem: NO THE FUCK YOU WERE NOT

Joel: I PROMISE YOU I ACTUALLY KNOW. 😕

Joel: YES I WAS.

Gem: do you know where spain is

Joel: no because I don’t give two fucks about colonizers

Gem: Never gonna beat the stereotypical English allegations

Joel: NEVER GONNA BEAT THE GO FUCK YOURSELF ALLIGATIONS

Joel: *responding to Grian: see if they’re real* THEY ARE REAL

Joel: GRIIIIIANN 😕😕

Joel: 🐄🐄

Joel: They’re right here :<

Gem: How about that coup

Joel: chicken

Joel: chicken coup

Gem: okay.

Joel: chicken egg

Joel: chicken

Joel: egg

Joel: chicken

Mumbo: what did i wake up to

Chapter Text

Traffic Lights

2:55 pm

Scott: HIIII

Pearl: Scott says “i love you” to Jimmy

Pearl: HEYYYY

Gem: gay

Pearl: liked “gay”

Gem: HIII

Scott: HI GEMSHSHSHSDH

Scott: I’m on call with your wife

Pearl: GUYS

Pearl: SAY IMPULSE IS THE SUPERIOR SENIOR

Scott: guysssss do you all know cleo

Scott: they’re cooler

Gem: Responding to “I’m on call with your wife”: wow Pearl are you cheating on me

Pearl: NOOOOOO IMPULSES BETTER

Gem: I have no idea who these people are

Skizz: 😂😂

Pearl: just say impulse is better trust

Gem: impulse is better trust

Scott: disliked “impulse is better trust”

Pearl: THSBK YOU

Gem: OFCKDK

Gem: I like you better than Scott anyway. /j

Pearl: EXACTLY

Pearl: THANK YOU

Scott: Responding to “I like you better than Scott anyway. /j”:  i’m gonna murder tou

Chapter Text

Gem —> Cleo

7:49 pm

Gem: Why is there no girl in this school that’s queer AND single 

Cleo: ahem.

Gem: Loved “ahem.”

Cleo: No i’m kidding i’m not really a girl.

Cleo: well

Cleo: i’m a girl

Cleo: and a boy

Cleo: and i also identify as insane

Gem: LMAOO

Gem: i love you

Cleo: honestly i identify more as insane than anything else

Cleo: i love you too

Chapter Text

Impulse —-> Skizz
3:21 pm

Impulse:https://youtu.be/aUNJ-me_Ojw?si=F2ooEWqjxHYO5NwI

Skizz: MY DOCTOR TOLD ME I HAD AN ORAL FIXAAATION

Impulse: WHICH IS NOT GOOD!!

Skizz: HOW DID YOUR DOCTOR KNOW THAT???

Impulse: I WAS SUCKING HIS COCK!!!! 😃😃😃

Skizz: IIII WAS. I WAS SUCKING HIS COCK!!!!

Chapter Text

Jimmy —-> Grian
5:11 pm

Jimmy: I CANTJDJEHDDJ

Jimmy: i

Jimmy: am gonna

Jimmy: like

Jimmy: throw

Jimmy: a turtle shell

Jimmy: ar you

Jimmy: at you

Grian: green red or blue

Jimmy: FUCK OFF

Jimmy: …blue

Grian: NOOOODHDHDDH

Chapter Text

Joel —-> Etho

3:03 pm

Joel: WAIT

Joel: FUCK

Joel: KIRBY

Joel: I WILL FIND HIM

Joel: i was gonna show you him if you came over LMFAOOO BUT ITS OKAY

Joel: YOU CAN SEE HIM NOW

Joel: ILL FIND HIM

Joel: he is INSIDE MY HOME

Joel: HE WALKS

Joel: he doesn’t

Joel: BUT HES REAL

Etho: HELP I KEEP DISAPPEARING 😭😭

Etho: I POOF AWAY

Joel: LMAODHDDHDH

Joel: ITS OKAYDHDHDH

Joel: ur still hot.

Joel: even though.

Joel: you’re less present in my life than my ex husband

Etho: LMFAOOO

Joel: hru

Etho: i’m good :3

Etho: well

Joel: well :o

Etho: i’m trying to finish this spanish assignment

Joel: EWWWWW i see

Etho: and i have cramps 😞

Joel: oh poor baby 🫂🫂

Joel: i’m sorry.

Joel: is there anything i can do

Joel: do you need water

Etho: it’s okay :)

Joel: juice

Joel: a hug

Joel: some bread

Etho: AM I A DUCK

Joel: YES.

Joel: quack

Etho: quack.

Etho: *picture of a duck*

Joel: LMFAOSJDHD

Etho: ITS A DUCKSJSHXDHD

Joel: THATS YOUUU

Joel: ITS A FUCKDKDJDJ

Joel: fuck

Etho: ITS A FUCK

Etho: SOBBING

Joel: NO ITS NOT A FUCK.

Joel: NOODHDHDDJ

Etho: IT IS A FUCK.

Joel: YOU ARE NOT A FUCK

Joel: YOU ARE A FUCK

Joel: .

Joel: GODDAMNIT

Etho: LMFAOSISHDHS

Joel: YOU ARE A DUCK 😭😭😭😭😭

Etho: PLEASE 😭😭😭😭

Joel: IM GONNA BLOW MY BRAINS OUT

Joel: WHAT ARE THR CUCKING DOODA

Joel: ODSS

Etho: WHAT THE FUCK

Joel: 😞😞😞

Chapter Text

Oli —-> Jimmy

10:18 pm

Oli: i’m gonna sleep soon too dw

Jimmy: “soon”?

Oli: SOOOON

Jimmy: LMAOOO

Jimmy: before 11?

Oli: YES BABE BEFORE 11

Jimmy: OK 😭😭

Jimmy: i love that you’ve started using babe

Oli: LMFAOOO DO YOU LIKE IT??

Oli: i’m glad u do

Jimmy: i do

Oli: it’s cuz ur a babe frfr!

Jimmy: you should start saying it in real life

Jimmy: it would be really funny

Oli: CACKLING

Oli: i’m gonna sound like a mfker

Jimmy: BAD BOYS CALL EACH OTHER BABE

Oli: EXCUSE ME

Jimmy: LMAOOO

Oli: maybe stupid queer italian bad boys

Jimmy: you need to watch the life series.

Jimmy: TRY STRAIGHT BRITISH 30 YEAR OLD MEN

Oli: RU SERIOUS

Oli: shoulda guessed

Oli: replying to: “you need to watch the life series.” UGHHHH

Oli: FINE…

Oli: but only if you start saying babe

Jimmy: i will.

Chapter Text

Gem: “I love the confidence” 

Mumbo: “Thank you! It’s delusion ☺️”

Grian: “yOU probably read fanfiction about 9/11”

Scar: “I forgot to wear my knee bracelet :((“

Gem: “yeah, you’re built like a single grain of cumin”

Sausage: “Like, no context, I just had a baby”

Scar: “Now look at that, you made me drop my Total Hydration”

Jimmy: “I am this close to tweaking out and hitting someone with my Stanley”

Skizz: “So, at 6:30, I actually get up, right,”

Jimmy: “No, I don’t want you to blow me” 

Scott: “…you sure”

Impulse: “I don’t know man, I think my body just likes to hurt”

Chapter Text

Scar —> Grian

3:54 pm

Scar: 🥔✋🥱🫢

Scar: I ate it

Scar: it was delicious

Grian: LMAO

Grian: you’ve stopped the chain i think

Grian: no potato to send 😞

Scar: SOB

Scar: NOOOO

Grian: 😂😭

Chapter Text

Pearl —-> Etho

10:08 pm

Pearl: ur going to bed after this right.

Pearl: cuz it’s like 10

Pearl: and ur an old man

Etho: yes because im normal

Pearl: LMFOAHDDBDH

Pearl: CRYING

Etho: *Replying to: “and ur an old man” NO??

Etho: because i want to be NOT CHRONICALLY SLEEP DEPRIVED

Etho: no. i don’t actually go to bed until like 11 but “going to bed” means like shower and read a book and do drugs

Pearl: do drugs is essential i’m sure.

Etho: it is.

Pearl: we should do drugs together

Pearl: doesn’t that sound lovely

Etho: WAIT HELP I HAVENT TOLD YOU i call my anxiety and adhd meds “drugs” because it’s funny

Pearl: WAIT WHAT LMFOAHDHDD

Pearl: THAT MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE

Etho: we could also do cocaibe that would be funny too

Pearl: YEAH YK WHAT LETS DO COCAINE

Pearl: or fuck it give me your adhd pills

Etho: SOBBING

Etho: THAT WOULDNT EVEN BE DRUGS FOR YOU YOU NEED THEM

Pearl: CRYINGDHDHSH HEY

Pearl: I NEED COCAINE

Pearl: HEROIN

Pearl: THE OTHER SHIT

Pearl: I CANT EVEN NAME EM

Pearl: THEYRE ALL COOL

Pearl: MY BEST FRIENDS

Etho: PLEASEJDH

Etho: *insert elmo cocaine image here*

Pearl: ITS DUMB AND I LOVE IT

Pearl: YES THAT SHIT

Etho: YEAHSSHSJDD

Pearl: THATS YOU

Etho: TBATS ACTUALLY ME.

Chapter Text

Cleo —-> Scott

9:34 pm

Cleo: *Video of a TV showing Billie Eilish playing “BIRDS OF A FEATHER” at the 2025 Grammys*

Cleo: this is a win for the gays

Scott: OH MY GODS

Scott: THE GAYS STAY WINNING

Scott: HOLY SHIT

Scott: HUGE WIN FOR THE GAYS

Cleo: LMAOOO

Cleo: HUUGE WIN!!!

9:47 pm

Cleo: *Video of a TV showing Chappell Roan playing “Pink Pony Club” at the 2025 Grammys*

Cleo: JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE GAYS COULDNT WIN MORE!!!

Scott: HOOOOLYYYYYY

Scott: THE GAYS

Scott: THE GAYS THEYRE BECOMING TOO POWERFUL

Scott: THEYVE HIT THE PENTAGON

Scott: THEYRE UNSTOPPABLE

Cleo: SOBBING LMAOO

Cleo: THEY ARE!!!

Cleo: THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION CAN’T STOP US!!!

Scott: 😭😂😂

Chapter Text

Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss

11:31 am

Scott: GUYS.

Scott: I JUST WALKED INTO ART RIGHT

Pearl: HU

Pearl: OK

Scott: AND WE WERE GETTING OUR SKETCHBOOKS FROM A BIN

Cleo: YEAH

Scott: AND THIS RANDOM GUY IVE LITERALLY NEVER MET BEFORE JUST PASSED ME MINE??

Pearl: UHUH

Pearl: UM?!?

Scott: LIKE IT HAD MY NAME ON IT AND HE KNEW IT??

Scott: IM SCARED???

Pearl: LMAO

Pearl: i wouldn’t worry too much

Pearl: I know like the name of some of my classmates i’ve never talked to before

Pearl: Granted I prob wouldn’t hand them their stuff

Pearl: but still

Cleo: YEAH I WOULDNT PERSONALLY DONT DO THAT

Scott: *responding to: “I know like the name of some of my classmates…” YEAH FAIR

Scott: IT WAS JUST SO UNEXPECTED 😭😭

Cleo: IT IS A BIT UNEXPECTED

Cleo: we should kill him

Cleo: no but im sure it’s fine

Cleo: mfker just seems assertive

Pearl: LMAOO

Pearl: me when I walk up to a random person and just SHOVE a sketchbook at them

Pearl: draw bitch 

Cleo: LMFAOOJIFJFJ THATS A NORMAL THING TO DO

Pearl: it IS

Pearl: I do it all the time

Cleo: SAME HERE

Cleo: I DO IT TO ALL MY RANDOM COLLEAGUES 

Cleo: THEY LOVE IT EVERY TIME

Chapter Text

Martyn: Why the fuck does this DILDO HAVE SPINES IN IT 😕😕

Grian: haha you can’t jacknoff 

Joel: hurting you is fun

Joel: I miss punching you 

Gem: i’m going to start crying on a public bus

Etho: WHOS THIS WHITE MAN

Etho: WHY IS HE CALLING ME AUTISTIC

Joel: JOE BIDEN WILL NOT FUCK ME TONIGHT

Scott: gays don’t provide anything to society

Ren: I FALL IJ LOVEJUST A LIL BITJGFJ WITH EVERYDADYAD FOR SOMEONE NEWHDJFDJ

Martyn: i’ll literally seduce you rn don’t even 😐

Jimmy: IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A THREAT???

Martyn: it’s an invitation ☺️

Mumbo: they’re literally just virgins fucking each other.

Gem: that’s not how virginity works

Scott: flower boy in the streets freak in the sheets

Chapter Text

Grian —-> Jimmy

8:39 pm

Grian: idiot

Jimmy: stupid

Grian: mmm

Jimmy: :P

Grian: rah

Jimmy: 🦖

Grian: indeed

Jimmy: 🫠

Grian: Bones, muscles, ligaments, and tendons compose the bulk of an animal’s body mass. Allowing for variations in tail length, there is an average of 319 bones in the dog skeleton. Bones are complex, rigid, living organs that have their own supply of blood vessels and nerves.

Jimmy: Tl;Dr

Grian: dogs have 319 bones

Jimmy: beautiful

Grian: yes

Chapter Text

Joel —-> Scott

8:22 pm

Joel: by the way can me and Etho use your room for sex

Scott: ABSOLUTELY NOT

Scott: FREAKS 💔💔

Joel: what about your living room

Scott: I DONT KNOW IF THATS WORSE OR BETTER

Joel: YOURE A BAD FRIEND /j

Scott: NOT LETTING MY FRIENDS FUCK IN MY HOUSE. I KNOW IM SO HORRIBLE.

Joel: I KNOW ITS LITERALLY 1984 🤬

Joel: i can’t ask Grian 💔

Joel: and i don’t really wanna put Jimmy thru that.

Scott: someone fuck my internet

Joel: why would fucking your internet help

Joel: someone probably IS fucking your internet rn

Scott: maybe it would erratically give off signal

Scott: instead of nothing at all

Joel: LMAOOO

Joel: I feel like the equivalent of an internet orgasm would be like

Joel: a power outage lol

Scott: PLEASE LMAO

Scott: I feel like it would be the cables exploding and THEN a power outage

Joel: I SEE THAT

Scott: …why are we discussing this

Joel: this is what friends talk about duh

Scott: absolutely 

Chapter Text

Traffic Lights

9:00 pm

Scott: *Image of Jimmy in the middle of saying something, looking considerably derpy*

Scott: my beautiful husband <3

Jimmy: I love you darling

Jimmy: I’m gonna kill you

Scar: i like birds

Scar: awh

Scott: LMAOO

Scar: i also love grian