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Despite Tim’s best efforts along the way, Dick did not let him fall until he was literally standing right next over a bed. Even then, Dick attempted to guide him down onto it. Instead Tim’s body decided fuck that and his entire weight slammed onto the bed all at once anyway.
“Timmy, are you-“
“Fine…” Tim groaned, curling up in a ball.
While Dick was far from convinced, at least now that Tim wasn’t going to collapse he found that he could actually take a breath.
Tim was shuddering, sweat pouring down his face. He whimpered as Dick moved away, then made another miserable sound as Dick set the other hotel beds duvet over him. Tim clutched the fabric close to him, burying into it.
“No no,” Dick said gently, keeping the blanket from smothering him. “You still need to be able to breathe, Bud.”
“I can’t anyway,” Tim muttered. “So why bother.”
All the same, Tim didn’t duck his head under the duvet again.
Honestly, Tim’s breathlessness was worrying Dick. This wasn’t just one of his panic attacks, Tim had gotten pretty banged up in the fight against some goons and while he had promised Dick that he was fine, multiple times in fact, Dick was really started to consider taking him into the cave. Hell, he was even considering taking him into hospital.
Any little illness could be dangerous for Tim, no matter how much he likes to claim otherwise.
Perching on the side of the bed, Dick tried to take one of Tim’s arms out from under the blanket but Tim adamantly refused.
“Tim,” Dick sighed. “I need to check your pulse.”
“Pulse is pulsing.” Tim grumbled. “I’m talking, aren’t I?”
Sure he was talking, but Tim was also shaking and there was barely any colour left in his face. Every breath was more like a wheeze and as the last of the adrenaline from the fight ebbed away, Tim was just getting worse.
“Humour me.” Dick said.
Tim only groaned.
Dick shuffled so that he was ever closer on the bed to Tim, brushing fingers through Tim’s hair. While the teenager stubbornly did not open his eyes, there was no denying that he had leaned into the touch.
Bingo.
“Tim,” Dick coaxed. “Please.”
“Go away…”
“I’ll go away when I know you’re okay.” Dick said. “You know full well I can stay here all night if need be. Hell, I can stay here forever if that’s what it takes.”
Tim groaned louder this time, shifting on the bed as if uncomfortable. He moved this way and that, even covering his eyes at one point as if it were too bright in here despite there being only lights spilling in from the hallway.
Just when Dick was starting to think that this could be evidence of a head injury, Tim stuck out his arm.
The boy was pouting, and while Dick was tempted to tease him about it, he didn’t. Instead, he just took Tim’s wrist into his hand, pressing two fingers against his pulse point. It was normal, or at least normal as far as the ever flighty Tim gets.
“See.” Tim grumbled. “Now can you go?”
Dick chuckled, going back to playing with Tim’s hair. Before Tim could complain, his eyes were already slipping closed once more, though this time his breathing evened out too.
Asleep, a miracle all and of itself, let alone that quickly.
Tim really must be exhausted. The other symptoms are probably nothing, even if the shaking and the tightness in his breath could be some of Tim’s tells that he was trying to hide that he was sick.
While Dick had already checked Tim’s forehead for a sign of a fever when he had first started carding fingers through his hair, he checked again anyway. He didn’t think that his little brother was sick, just tired, but there was still something niggling at the back of Dick’s mind. Tim hadn’t really been himself all patrol.
Sure, he can often get snippy or say the wrong thing not realising that he was being rude, but today was a new level even for him.
Tim had even cursed out Mrs. Robinson after they had brought her some groceries from the food drive because she had dared to ask him how he was going. Tim was frustrated about something, and Dick was going to get to the bottom of what that something is before it all blows up in their faces.
Of course, he was going to do that later. For now, Tim obviously needed his sleep.
Dick rose carefully from the bed, knowing that any movement what so ever could very well wake Tim up, but the boy slept soundly through it.
Sighing, Dick went towards the door. Just as he was about to slip fully away, meaning to check on Tim again later, he heard Tim mumble something.
“What was that, Bud?”
There was no answer.
“Tim?”
Tim breathed in. Out. In. Out. He gave a little half snore, snuggling deeper into his covers.
Dick found himself watching for a little longer, hovering by the door. He didn’t know quite what he was looking for, Tim did not have a fever after all, yet he couldn’t quite bring himself to leave. Finally, after Tim fully settled once more, Dick left.
He found Alfred in the hallway close by Damian’s room.
“Hey Alfred?”
“Yes, Master Dick?”
“I have to head back to Blüdhaven for the night, but do you think you can watch Tim?”
“Certainly Sir.” Alfred said. “Is there something in particular I will be monitoring for? A concussion protocol perhaps, or an escape attempt?”
“Nothing like that,” Dick said. “It’s just… I don’t know, he was weird tonight.”
“I am sure that everything is alright,” Alfred said. “But all the same, I shall indeed watch over our boy.”
“You’re amazing Alfie,” Dick said. “I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon.”
After grabbing everything he needed, Dick got ready to go.
Even with Alfred promising to keep an extra close eye on Tim, Dick didn’t feel right as he climbed onto his bike. He shoved the feeling aside, deciding that he was probably worrying over nothing.
Getting back to his apartment in Blüdhaven, Dick reached to open the door but stopped.
He chewed his lip, fishing his phone out of his pocket. It wasn’t really that far of a distance between Gotham and its Sister City but Tim has gone downhill faster before so maybe he really should call Alfred just to make sure.
But Alfred was often busy and while he was always diligent in watching over people he had cause for concern for, Alfred could very well be doing some other task while Tim be unconscious on the bathroom floor.
Dick really should just check.
No.
No, he was being paranoid. Tim wasn’t all that weird during patrol, just a little annoyed, and he hadn’t had a fever. Tim was tired. He was literally just tired.
“Hey, Alfred, I was just wondering-“
“I have just checked in with Master Tim.” Alfred said. “He is sleeping soundly, no sign of fever.”
Relief crashed into him. He cleared his throat, not knowing when the lump had formed.
“Thanks.”
“You are very welcome.” Alfred said. “And Master Dick? I hope that you too will get a good nights rest.”
“I will Alfie, thanks again.”
Coming fully into his apartment, Dick set his helmet down on the kitchen bench, shrugging off his riding jacket and leaving it on the chair.
Dick eyed the chair. It was out further than how he had left it.
Glancing around, looking for other inconsistencies, Dick saw that it was his Wonder Woman mug out, not the Signal one that he had custom ordered and distinctly remembered using the other night.
“If you ate my waffles, I hope you know I’m disowning you.”
Dick found Jason sitting cross legged on Dick’s bed.
The twelve year old was surrounded by waffle crumbs, and he didn’t even try to hide his grin. His face was covered in ice cream, with… Was those sprinkles?
“Seriously dude?” Dick dragged a hand down his face. “Sprinkles?”
“It’s fine,” Jason waved him off.
Dick tried to shoo the kid off of his bed but Jason was as stubborn as Dick himself was so he just completely ignored him.
“So,” Jason said instead. “What’a we watching?”
“I’ve got shit to do, Little Wing.”
“What shit?”
“Paperwork.” Dick shrugged.
“But that’s so boring.”
You know what, his baby brother was right.
The reports for Patrol could wait until later, B was hardly going to chew him out for the third time in a week over the same thing.
Except he had already done his patrol report. No he hadn’t. Had he?
Yes. Yes the report was done, because he had had to peel an exhausted Tim away from the computer.
Dick blinked, finding that Jason wasn’t on the bed anymore. He must be so excited to have movie night that he was already on the couch, munching on something that Dick wasn’t really sure he wanted to ask.
“Shove over.” Dick told him.
Jason just flipped him off.
Dick rose his own middle finger, shooing Jason to the side.
For the first time in his whole damn life Jason was quick to choose what it was he wanted to watch, that being rerun’s of David Tennant’s episodes apparently.
“I thought you wanted a movie.” Dick chuckled, leaning back.
“And I thought you were going to bring home Tacos.” Jason countered.
“Yeah yeah, I know, I’m the worst.”
“No, Joker is.”
“Joker?” Dick tilted his head. “I mean, I guess.”
Joker was annoying sure, and he had wrought more damage than most of the other villains, but there was something dark in Jason’s voice. When he looked at his younger brother though, he was grinning as if nothing at all had actually bothered him.
They watched just one episode before Jason announced that it was time to sleep.
Dick really did stare at Jason. It was one thing to choose what to watch so quickly, it had been one of Jason’s favourite episodes after all, but it was often Dick or Alfred who insisted that Jason actually get some rest so that he would be ready for school in the morning.
Well, it was already late.
Dick stood, going about his nightly routine. Once he returned to his bedroom, he found that Jason had somehow cleaned up not only the waffles, but the sprinkles.
“Impressive, Little Wing,” Dick called out. “But if you’ve put those damn sprinkles in my shoes…”
Jason did not answer him.
Oh well.
Dick climbed into bed, scrolling on his phone for a while. He had expected Jason to come crawling in here with him, Jay slept best when he felt safe with someone he trusted, but Jason must have chosen instead to sleep on Dick’s couch.
While Dick had known that the next day was going to be a bore of procedural meetings and small talk, it actually passed quickly.
Soon enough Dick was back on the couch, helping Jason with his homework. Well, he was trying to help Jason with his homework while Jason himself was more interested in folding pieces of paper into origami.
“You’re getting pretty good with that.” Dick said.
Jason held out an intricate piece.
“Oh shit,” Dick said. “That’s actually pretty cool.”
“It’s a crane.” Jason said. “This style means death.”
“Oh.” Dick blinked. “Right. How about we call it there, wanna watch something? Or we can play Smash?”
“Smash.” Jason said decisively.
For the entire game, Jason’s Fox did not move from its starting position while Dick’s Bayonetta continued to rack up damage against him.
“Wow Jay,” Dick whistled. “You do know that you have to move the control stick, yeah?”
“It’s time for bed.” Jason said.
“But we just-”
“It’s time for bed.” Jason repeated.
Another day another night. This time Jason had perched on the kitchen counter reading aloud The Yellow Wallpaper as Dick pottered around making food for the both of them. He didn’t question Jason’s continued presence, knowing that Bruce probably just did a Bruce again.
When Dick went towards the couch to eat, Jason left his untouched plate in the kitchen.
Jason was already on the couch. Well, older Jason was. Twelve year Jason was perched on the side of it, doing his best to mirror nineteen year old Jason’s scowl. It was pretty convincing, Dick had to admit, though the effect kept failing because young Jason kept breaking into a grin instead.
In an instant older Jason was up and off the couch.
“Do you know how much of a pain Replacement’s been, telling me that it’s my job to make sure you’re not dead?”
Dick dodged around him, settling onto the couch.
“No seriously,” Jason said. “You should’a heard him. ‘Oh Jason please! I’ve been trying to contact Dick for days but he’s not answering and I’m too much of a coward to break in!’.”
“Tim has broken in here before.” Dick said. “Like, a lot.”
“Okay,” Jason growled. “Not the point. Where the fuck have you been?”
Dick shrugged.
Behind old Jason, young Jason was pulling a face.
“What are you looking at?” Jason demanded.
Dick didn’t answer him, refocusing on real Jason instead.
“What are you doing here?” Dick asked.
“I told you, didn’t I? The Replacements being a bitch about what’s going on with you. He said you haven’t been going on patrol and when he hacked into the security cameras, he saw that you haven’t been going to work either.”
“But I have been going to work.” Dick said. “I was literally there today.”
Jason’s brow quirked. Young Jason had started imitating him again, crossed arms and all.
“Bullshit,” Jason said. “In that? Fuck, Dick, I knew you were stupid but not that stupid.”
Dick blinked slowly. He looked down on himself, finding that he was somehow still in his Nightwing gear. While the existence of the hallucination of Jason before his death wasn’t all that surprising, for some reason knowing that he could have compromised his secret identity accidentally really threw him through a loop.
“Have you even slept?”
“Yeah,” Dick said.
“Then why do you look like shit?”
“You are so kind to me, Jay, truly.”
“Well truly you look worse than like shit, you look like death. Seriously Dick, why the fuck didn’t you tell anyone that you were sick?”
“It’s no big deal.”
Dick could only see the single hallucination. All things considered, that wasn’t too bad.
Unless of course older Jason was imaginary too.
Given Dick’s track record… He could be.
“Hey Jason?”
Both Jason’s looked directly at him.
“Are you fake too?”
Jason’s expression screwed up in a way that was so Jason that Dick knew full well that he was not only indeed real, but it should also be considered as an insult all and of itself.
But then that very same expression softened. Jason’s shoulders dipped, and instead of cursing out Dick for how stupid he was being, Jason just sighed and brought his knees close up to his chest. Beside him the hallucination of young Jason did the same thing.
“It’s me, isn’t it?”
“Ja-“
“It’s just a nightmare.” Jason said. “He’s not… He’s not going to die this time. And even if he does, well…”
Jason gestured to himself.
“You know it turns out somewhat okay.”
Dick’s chest ached. He inched closer to his brother, both versions of him, because the hallucination had dipped its shoulders too and was shaking a little in the way that he only did when he was crying.
The hallucination itself couldn’t cry, it was one of the ways that Dick liked to use to work out what was real and what wasn’t given how many mind altering toxins he had been subjected to over the years.
Look for inconsistencies. No tears. Sprinkles disappearing from a pile on the bed. The fact that twelve year old Jason had been wearing a jacket that he wouldn’t get until two weeks before he died.
“I’ll look after him.” Dick said. “I promise. I… I’ll look after you this time.”
“You don’t have to.”
“What if I said I want to?” Dick snapped back, not understanding why he was suddenly out of breath. “Like you said, he doesn’t have to die this time. He’s younger anyway, he’s only twelve or maybe thirteen. I’ll keep him safe. I need to keep him safe.”
“You need to rest.” Jason said. “You need to get better.”
Dick shook his head, desperate to keep it as it was, desperate to keep not only the Jason of now but the sweet innocent never been killed Jason of before.
“Dick.”
“I’m fine, Jay.”
“You’re seeing a long dead kid knowing full well that it’s not real, that’s far from fine Dickiebird.”
“It’s fine.” Dick insisted.
“And what about Tim then?”
Dick lurched forward.
“I knew he was sick! Fuck, is he okay, what hospital did he-“
“Dick.” Jason grabbed the back of Dick’s neck, squeezing tightly. “Timbo’s okay. He’s just worried sick about you, when he came in the other day you never once even acknowledged that he was even in the room. You, well, apparently you just went to bed instead.”
Not knowing how he could fix this, never having wanted to worry Tim or Jason, Dick could only grip onto Jason’s arm.
That was another way to work out what was real, being able to touch it, though Dick knew from experience that sometimes even hallucinations can feel like they have physical mass.
“You have a fever, Dick.” Jason said. “You’re dehydrated and confused and as far as I can tell, you haven’t had any actual sleep in days. You need to stop.”
“I went to work.”
“No. You didn’t.”
“I’m fine.”
“No.” Jason sighed. “You’re not.”
“But I-“
“Dick.”
Anger flared within Dick. Jason didn’t understand. Jason couldn’t, no one could. Dick was meant to have been the older brother, he was meant to have kept Jason safe, something that he could do now, but Jason was instead just fixated on the fact that it was just a hallucination even though all that mattered to him was the fact that he had a chance to do it right this time.
“Come on.” Jason said.
“What?”
“I’m taking you home. I’m not leaving you here alone.”
“I’m not alone.”
“Is Fake Me making sure you’re drinking? Is he making sure you’re not in the same clothes? Is he even aware of anything at all or is he just always there in the corner doing nothing? You need help, Dickie, and while I’d rather not drag you to the Manor kicking and screaming, you know full well I will.”
When Jason tugged at Dick’s arm, he was useless to do anything but follow.
Jason had the kindness to pack a bag of Dick’s belongings into a bag, even though the younger version of him was watching them silently, his lip wobbling as if he was going to start crying again. Dick’s arms ached to hug his little brother but the thought of making him disappear made him try to refocus on the real Jason.
When it was time to go, Dick found that his feet were planted on the ground.
Jason turned back to him yet he didn’t yell at him to hurry the fuck up.
Young Jason was sitting on the ground in front of the door, head resting on his knees.
Dick kneeled down slowly.
“I’m sorry, Little Wing, I… I wasn’t strong enough.”
Sad eyes slowly looked up at him.
“Can we play some Smash?” Young Jason asked. “Please, I’ll do better this time.”
“We will.” Dick promised. “As many rounds as you want.”
“And I can have waffles?”
“Of course.” Dick said. “But if you get sprinkles anywhere near my bed, I swear I’m going to end you.”
Young Jason shuddered with a laugh.
“Take care of him.” Young Jason said.
“Always.” Dick said. “But I guess that you look after me too, even if you’re an asshole about it.”
“Someone needs to be an asshole to you, Dickie.” Both Young Jason and Older Jason chorused.
Finally, after taking another shaking breath, the hallucination of Jason stood up. He reached out and while Dick knew full well what was going to happen, he couldn’t not hug his baby brother.
Dick just wanted him to stay, he needed him to stay, but at least the hand that held his own on the way to the car felt familiar and real and warm.
“I’ll drive.” Dick said.
Jason’s laugh was loud and pure and real and it was so Jason that Dick felt his eyes burn.
Dick’s little brother was a little different to how he had once been, but he was still here. And, he had another little brother back home that he needed to go apologise to, right after his head stops spinning so much.