Chapter Text
Finally. Finally, after what feels like way too many years Kaveh gets enough money to leave Alhaitham’s house to live on his own. When the realization hits him as he’s buying more furniture for his new place (Furniture that actually fits in!), he feels a huge weight falling off his chest.
He’s free. He’s finally free, isn’t he?
No more annoying questions about his rent payment being late, no more scolding for being noisy in the middle of a night as he’s trying to work on his projects, no more doing chores for someone else, no more eating with a person who pretends not to listen to him as he’s reading a book and then proceeds to explain to him exactly how incorrectly Kaveh is doing things and how he should be doing them to be more efficient - just like him - in the same order as Kaveh talked about said things…
Yeah, he’s finally free.
Well, free from Alhaitham’s house, not Alhaitham. He still sees him at the Akademiya from time to time, and they also share a couple friends. Kaveh thinks he’s going to enjoy a night out with Cyno and Tighnari, but suddenly he’s sitting next to the damn Scribe as they eat and drink at Lambad’s tavern. Kaveh nearly loses his appetite, and drinks till he forgets the stoic face.
It’s not that he hates Alhaitham, no. He appreciates his help a great amount and he secretly admires his wisdom. What he can’t stand is the way Alhaitham lives and talks and thinks, it’s the priorities they have so impossibly different that makes them misunderstand each other. For someone who’s been reading all day long since he was born, Alhaitham lacks any artistic sense. When Kaveh reads a book, he enjoys watching the plot flow, and the relationships and the deeds of characters are what piques his interest the most. When Alhaitham reads a book, he’s all about the phrasing of words, the logic of characters’ actions, the symbolism and archons know what else. Kaveh says Alhaitham’s not enjoying the book properly, Alhaitham says Kaveh’s missing the point of the book.
The two simply cannot agree on a few things.
A few too many, honestly. No matter how smart they both are, they just can’t fully comprehend the other’s point of view.
That’s why Kaveh refuses to believe the news he hears from Cyno barely a month after he moved out.
Alhaitham getting a dog? He’d never let an animal inside his house, he doesn’t even like animals!
“I don’t know what his reason was, but it’s not like I have a reason to just lie to you about this,” Cyno looks like he doesn’t know whether to be offended or amused by Kaveh’s reaction to his delivery of Alhaitham News. What’s the point of yelling at the messenger?
“There is no way that guy got himself an animal. What would he even do with it? He doesn’t even have the emotional capacity to take care of it or have fun with it!” Kaveh fumes. (Deep down, he knows Alhaitham does have that; he knows the best.)
“I simply told you what I know. If you wanna know more, go find out for yourself,” Cyno shrugs and finishes his glass to pour another.
“Why would I want to know more? I don’t care what that guy does!” The architect’s face goes a little redder as he raises his voice before adding more in mumbles. “Apart from him approving my projects.”
Cyno, usually the one (mostly accidentally) teasing everyone, thankfully ignores the color of Kaveh’s cheeks and raises his eyebrows, asking: “You mentioned you were working on one a few weeks ago, how’d that go?”
“Two weeks ago!” Kaveh’s back straightens again, feeling an opportunity to insult his former roommate. “He rejected it for reasons I’ve barely ever heard of before! That bastard, I’ll show him!”
Cyno smirks, hardly feeling empathetic for the blond, knowing well how Alhaitham’s reasons are always logical, true, and wrapped by care.
“Good luck on improving it then.”
“To art!” Kaveh raises his full glass. “Something that the damn Scribe will never understand!”
“To art,” Cyno cackles and raises his glass as well.
*****
It only takes three days for Kaveh to break. It’s not that he cares about what Alhaitham does with his life or his stupidly expensive house, Kaveh is just on a journey to the truth! There is NO way the Alhaitham actually got himself a dog.
When he finally has some time to spend and knows the Scribe will be home (So what if he knows Alhaitham’s daily routine by heart, he’s lived with him for years and his junior loves his boring routine of a life, it’s not that hard to learn!), he makes his way to the familiar front door just under the Akademiya. He takes a breath… or two… or three, just to make sure… and he knocks.
A single soft woof comes from behind the door. No, it can’t be…
Then, the door opens. And he nearly gets tackled by a giant ball of golden fur.
“What the hell?!” Kaveh squeaks as he sees his former roommate appearing behind the furball that for sure did some damage to his clothes.
"Oh, sorry," Alhaitham mumbles with a neutral face and tone, and rushes the dog (An actual living and breathing and salivating and fur-shedding and random-people-jumping dog?!) back inside before letting Kaveh in as well. As if Kaveh wasn't able to recognize the amused glint in his eyes after knowing him closely for so long. That bastard is laughing at me!
"What are you doing here? Miss me already? Or did your fried and sleep deprived brain forget something here?" Alhaitham turns back to his guest. Somehow, he always knows what condition Kaveh is in - the last time they saw each other, he sarcastically congratulated him on finally getting proper sleep. Kaveh has no idea how he knows, he just does, and Kaveh learned to ignore it a long time ago. It is probably for the same reason as Kaveh knowing Alhaitham’s schedule; they were together for too long to not notice even the smallest details.
So Kaveh ignores it.
He clears his throat and says: "I was told you got an animal."
His junior raises an eyebrow. "Technically, the correct term for a domesticated animal is a pet."
The blond has to resist the need to roll his eyes way too hard. Why is he even trying anyway?
"You have a dog.”
They stand there in silence for a few seconds, blankly staring at each other, until Alhaitham breaks it: "Obviously. You somehow still don't need glasses, that's admirable..."
"You. Got a dog."
"Are you short circuiting?"
"You don't like dogs!"
"When have I ever said that?"
Another moment of silence, this time with Kaveh feeling the embarrassment creeping up his back as Alhaitham tilts his head, both his eyebrows raised high in expectation.
"Ehm, ehm..."
"I see. You're assuming other people's thoughts and feelings without having proof again."
"YOU–"
"I've never had a pet, because I didn't have the time or place for it. And now I do. Simple as that,” the Scribe shrugs, his usual poker face and mocking-ishly informative voice back on. Kaveh fights the urge to ask if by the ‘place’ he means Kaveh’s old room. Seriously, if Alhaitham had to remake that (previously beautifully decorated) room, couldn’t he at least have arranged it with most of the horrific furniture he bought, so it would no longer be an eyesore to everyone who came into the house? But he learned such teasing always ends with yet another lecture on logic and critical thinking or something of a similar taste, and Kaveh really doesn’t feel like listening to that right now. After all, it’s no longer his house, so what if one of the bedrooms became a doggy playground? It should be none of his business.
"Great," he sighs and watches the dog's wagging tail as he plays with a toy. It must have a small bell on it somewhere because he hears the constant jingling. He wonders why'd Alhaitham even buy a toy like that if he hates annoying sounds. The never-ending high-pitched ringing surely must frustrate him to death. He used to growl at any sound Kaveh made when he was trying to sleep in another room after all.
Alhaitham moves his head higher, his nose sticking up into the air and his eyes narrowing, as he notes: "You seem to be displeased about my new living situation."
"What? No, of course not! You can do whatever the hell you want! I don't care, why even would I?"
The Scribe's lips curve into a faint smirk – oh, how Kaveh hates that one – and he shrugs his shoulders before looking away, about to get them something to drink, apparently.
"What even is his name?" Kaveh tries to talk away the awkward, stuffy moment.
Alhaitham scoffs above the cups.
"Hey! What's that about?! I just asked you for his name!" Kaveh feels his face unwillingly burning up a bit.
"His name is Fungus."
What.
"What."
"How are your eyes with bags underneath them healthy, but your ears struggle?" And there it is, another comment about his health. Seemingly offensive, yet Kaveh can’t find a sign of malice in that voice.
"Oh, shut it!"
"I said I called him Fungus."
"You called... a dog... Fungus," Kaveh frowns and closes his eyes.
"I'm starting to suspect it's actually not your senses, but your brain that needs help. When was the last time you slept or ate a proper meal? Or maybe it’s a talk that you need?" What’s with him, seriously?! He’s never been this intense about it!
"My brain is doing just fine, thanks for your concern," Kaveh murmurs, finally rolling his eyes, "I'm actually concerned for yours. How are you even taking care of him? Isn't he loud and energetic? I've also heard golden retrievers were quite friendly and cuddly, and he just jumped at me, so it must be true."
"Well, I've had my several-years-long training when living with a roommate~" the jade-colored eyes glow with mischief.
"Ah, why am I even asking…" The moment Kaveh sits on the divan, Fungus is at his side, sitting on the floor and looking up at him like he's expecting something.
"W-what do you want?" Kaveh stutters, watching Fungus open his mouth and let the tongue out as if he's smiling. His tail is wagging slowly on the ground, sweeping the non-existent dust. Kaveh knows how animals behave, he knows what that means.
"I've always thought you're fond of pets. How can you not tell what he wants?" His junior seems to be having the time of his life; the architect doesn't even need to look at him to know he's smirking. "He wants you to pet him."
"I'm not petting him!?" Kaveh's eyes widen.
Alhaitham's eyebrows rise higher as he snorts: "Why?"
"It's your dog, Archons know what you taught him, what if he bites me?!"
"He won't bite you–"
"You don't know that!"
"Yes, I do. He's actually very friendly, you said it yourself." The Scribe turns around and heads to the kitchen. "I'll get some snacks, wait here."
"No! Alhaitham, don't leave me here with him! Hey! Ugh..." Kaveh yells and then eyes the dog up and down with a groan. Fungus's tail never stops moving, and when Kaveh looks back at him, it wags even faster.
Kaveh sighs: "You're way too adorable for him. I'm going to kidnap you, just you wait.”
Fungus silently barks (Probably agreeing, Kaveh thinks.) and 'smiles' again. Kaveh rolls his eyes again and pets his head.
That's how Alhaitham finds them five minutes later – Fungus lying on his back, enjoying Kaveh's attention as the architect scratches his belly with a small smile on his lips, calling Fungus a good boy.
"I told you he doesn't bite," he puts the sliced peaches on the table and hands Kaveh a few treats for Fungus.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Kaveh says, not even trying to bicker anymore, "we actually made a deal, I'm taking him from you."
"Oh?" Alhaitham sits on the divan opposite of Kaveh and by the tension of the muscles in his face Kaveh knows he's trying so hard not to smile at them softly. That'd be a first, Kaveh would be both surprised and happy to see it...
"Yeah, he's way too cute for you, you don't deserve him, right, Fungus? Right?" Kaveh's voice gets higher-pitched, Fungus playfully barking at him as a response.
"Hm," Alhaitham pretends to be deeply in thought, "not that it surprises me that this is the way you've been thinking about relationships... But it brings a question of how you've been able to live with me for years with that in mind."
Kaveh frowns, still processing everything Alhaitham said (because of course he'd make it sound complicated for Kaveh to get angry and bring him the joy of explaining it to him in a normal, simple way, making Kaveh look stupid while he's at it): "What does that mean?!"
As expected, Alhaitham's lips curve... But the curve isn't sharp with victory or belittling. Rather than that, it seems to curl into shapes of clouds and lotus petals floating calmly on the surface of a lake. Kaveh sees Alhaitham softly smile for the first time in his life. And oh, is he beautiful. He can feel his accelerated heartbeat, his muscles relaxing, his eyes focusing on his friend's tender face.
"Figure it out yourself, senior," Alhaitham half-whispers.
*****
That night, tired from going for a walk with Fungus and Alhaitham and from drinking a little bit too much wine in their… in Alhaitham’s living room, Kaveh lies in his bed awake. It’s ridiculous, really, the way he can’t stop seeing that soft expression every time he closes his eyes, as if the picture is carved into the insides of his eyelids.
What’s even less believable for the architect is how much he enjoyed the evening. Not only that; after he got home, closed his front door, and looked around the small, dark house, he felt a tinge of… loneliness. Did he… Did he miss Alhaitham? Nah, it’s much more probable he’s missing Fungus rather than the Scribe! He finally moved out, he has his own house, he spends his free time decorating it beautifully, he loves fully taking care of himself, not having to rely on anyone else. Finally… Right?
He's not so sure. After this evening, he’s not so sure anymore. Those kind, kind eyes, the tenderness of his touches, the soft edges of his face, the worry, care, and fondness in the husky voice he can’t help but listen to (even when it’s not talking to him), creating words he takes his time to think about and answer to… All of that brings him unexplainable doubt and anxiety. Mostly because experiencing it all himself sends shivers down his spine – the good kind of shivers, the ones you get when you’re overwhelmed with affection – or makes his hands ache in need to reach out and get some more.
Has Alhaitham always made him feel that way? Has he always behaved that way near Kaveh? Has Kaveh been blind to it?
No. No way. They’ve never been friendly with each other. They never had a relationship based on emotions. Well… It was always Kaveh’s emotions and rambling, but rarely Alhaitham’s. It’s Kaveh who’s always been kind and friendly and emotional and energetic and loud…
Oh…?
Oh.
“Oh, Archons above,” Kaveh sits up in his bed, “Fungus!”
The name echoes in his room, piercing back into Kaveh’s ears and skin and brain… Fungus. A dog breed known for its friendliness, emotional intelligence, and energy. In Alhaitham’s house. Only a few weeks after Kaveh moved out, leaving the big house to a single person. With no family and very few friends.
“What have I done?” he his hands fly to his mouth to cover it, the guilt showering him in buckets of freezing cold water.
Alhaitham was wrong, he thinks, I do need glasses… Or that talk.
*****
Kaveh basically runs into the tavern. He can’t risk getting embarrassed and ridiculed by Alhaitham, and the General Mahamatra is his only option. At least that’s what he came up with before he fell asleep last night; he didn’t really have time to ponder his new findings till now. He doesn’t have any pressing projects at hand, so as soon as he’s done with all his meetings for the day, he heads to Lambad’s tavern, knowing Cyno’s going to be there this afternoon. He takes the stairs by three, and as soon as he reaches the second floor, he sees the white hair at their usual table.
“Cyno!” He rushes closer. “Be honest with me. Has Alhaitham ever liked me? Hi, Tighnari.”
“Hello to you, too, Kaveh,” the forest ranger greets him with amusement he’s not even trying to hide. Oh, this is going to go just perfect… As expected.
“What?” Cyno’s eyebrows furrow in confusion.
Kaveh urges him to move over so that he can sit down next to him. “Has Alhaitham ever liked me?”
“What kind of a question is that?” Cyno shakes his head, still disoriented. “And how would I even know what’s going through his head?”
“Well, how am I supposed to know?!”
“I don’t know, ask him?”
“Have you ever talked to that guy?!”
“Yeah, he’s rather infuriating…”
“Exactly!” Kaveh’s agrees, his facial expression screaming ‘Thank you, I knew I could count on you to understand me!’.
“So that means you won’t ask him?”
“Obviously!”
“Well, I tried…” Cyno shrugs.
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t help you. Only talking can save you.”
“No can do! Think of something else, please!” Kaveh raises his hands in defense and then clasps them together as he begs.
“He wears a mask of stone on his face, and no one knows what’s underneath it. Not even the great Mahamatra knows what the Scribe feels for his former roommate from the look in his eyes,” Cyno says quite theatrically.
“Come on, Cyno, you know you’re a bad liar,” Tighnari chuckles.
“Yeah, but Kaveh doesn’t,” he rolls his eyes.
Kaveh watches the two of them, boiling inside. “So?!”
“So?” the General tilts his head.
“Stop it,” Tighnari kicks him under the table, making Cyno jump a little. It’s so obvious he’s having the time of his life right now, and Kaveh wants to run away and hide till the other two forget about this encounter. Yeah, this is going absolutely perfectly.
“Tighnari, don’t do this to me,” he whines.
“I just have one question for you,” Tighnari looks him straight in the eyes, “do you even have to ask us if you already figured it out?”
“Well, we did have to deal with their never-ending teasing, arguing, and other horrible ways of flirting,” Cyno pouts, “I’m actually honored that he’s including us in this important part of their relationship~”
“Not you too!” Kaveh wails.
“What else can I say, honestly? We’ve seen it all, by now it feels like watching a Liyuean drama!”
“A Sumerian soap opera,” Tighnari corrects him.
“Right.”
“Ugh, you’re not helping at all!”
“Seriously, Kaveh,” Tighnari calms down, “you know. You’ve always known.”
“I…” Kaveh is at a loss for words. Have I? I don’t think so, I just realized last night… And I’m not even sure of it, it’s just a logical derivation of all the facts I’ve known or noticed about his old and new life.
And my equations are always correct.
But I’ve always taken time to solve them when it comes to him…
“Kaveh,” Tighnari’s voice snaps him out of his head, “you’re overthinking it. Again. Just go to him. You don’t even need to ask him, just watch him closely. You’ll see it. Just keep your eyes open. And keep your mean, doubtful head silent. You’ll see.”
There’s a while of silence again. The two watch Kaveh take it all in, the realization fully hitting him now.
He looks up at them with worry in his eyes: “Did I mess up?”
“Why would you mess up?” Cyno asks quietly, not wanting to appear as if he’s making fun of Kaveh or trying to scare him.
“He really got that dog, Cyno,” Kaveh looked at his hands in his lap, “and he technically said it himself, the dog is just like me.”
He felt his friends exchanging looks.
“Did he… Did he get the dog because it was easier than begging me to stay with him so that he’s not lonely in that house? He doesn’t have any family, you know. Did I abandon him?” Kaveh’s voice breaks at the last sentence. No. I could never! I’d never put anyone through that, especially since I know damn well how awful it feels!
“Kaveh, listen,” Cyno says, “you’re your own person, you’re an adult, and you hate being dependent on someone. If I know this, Alhaitham surely does as well. He’d never keep you from your dreams or your happiness, no matter what he says when you two argue. That’s the way he is, and there’s no doubt you know that.”
Tighnari nods: “Hm. Two people being different doesn’t mean one of them has to change to the other’s picture to have a good relationship with them. It means they learn to live with each other, listen to each other, and learn from each other when they need it. They don’t put each other down for their differences, they seek them out and they’re interested in them. And correct me if I’m wrong, but all of this sounds just like what you’ve had with Alhaitham.”
Kaveh can’t breathe. He has to keep himself from crying, he has to decide what to do next, he can’t stay here and bother his two dearest friends with something that he’s been bothering them with for years, apparently… Gods…
“Thank you,” he lets out as he’s standing up, “both of you.”
“Are you okay, Kaveh?” Cyno’s voice is filled with worry.
“I’m fine,” he replies silently. It’s not me who I’m worried about. It’s not me who you should be worried about.
“Take care, Kaveh. And go see him, eye to eye. I’m serious,” Tighnari gives him his last advice to which the architect only nods and walks downstairs and out of the tavern with his head down.
He keeps walking, deep in thought about what he’s done to the man who’s never been anything but kind and generous to him, and he only snaps out of it when he stumbles upon a root of a tree that is sticking out of the ground, and almost falls. He looks around, figuring out where he is.
Oh, he thinks, internally wailing. He sometimes comes there to look over his magnum opus, to get some inspiration or to make himself feel worthy of the title he was given. The title Alhaitham never fails to remind him of, especially when Kaveh is struggling with a new project or a client… That bastard. Always so annoyingly supportive, secretly lovely, so…
He walks a few steps more to get a better view of the palace and the breathtaking nature all around. The sun hits his eyes and the tears on his eyelashes create small rainbows in his vision.
“Look, Haitham,” a wet laugh escapes him, “even my tears are trying to comfort me.”
What a beauty.
He’s always had eyes for beauty. Why hasn’t he noticed Alhaitham’s fondness for him for years? Was it not beautiful enough for him? How selfish of him, finding something lacking in love. How fucking selfish.
He doesn’t deserve Alhaitham or his love. He doesn’t deserve to show up in Alhaitham’s sight. He doesn’t deserve to see Fungus, a pet that’s more giving and much more grateful for everything than he could ever be.
Even a dog is better than you, Kaveh. Even a dog is better than you.