Work Text:
Ponyboy’s birthday was the first real holiday without their parents.
Well, technically speaking, Darry's birthday was, but that hardly counted.
They'd squeaked past other minor holidays without too much pain. Sure, it was weird to have a Valentine's day without seeing Mom chill a bottle of cheap red wine over ice, and it was difficult to push through the Fourth of July without watching Dad lugging a bag of charcoal over to the lot for a grill. But Soda had gone out with Sandy on Valentine's day and Two-Bit's mother had hosted the Fourth party, so they got through it. They’d completely ignored mother's and father’s day with a houseful of tense silence and anxious avoidance.
They couldn't ignore Pony's birthday.
–
Darry was the first one up that morning, unsurprisingly. He couldn't afford a full day off work, even if Saturdays were occupied by his part-time job at the factory instead of a full day of roofing. Soda and Steve had requested that day off weeks in advance, even though Darry was pretty sure Pony wouldn't have been too heartbroken if Steve had to work. Later, Johnny and Two-Bit would wander in, maybe even Dally around dinner time.
He made breakfast, frying bacon, scrambling some eggs, and toasting a half loaf of bread in the oven. He didn't have time to wait for the boys to get up, so he left everything on low heat to stay warm for them.
Rifling through the kitchen junk drawer, he found a notepad and scribbled: Happy birthday. Take Soda or Johnny to the movies. - D.
He dropped two dollar bills and the note on the table near where Pony usually ate breakfast, then pulled his shoes on, found his keys, and was gone.
The work day was long and boring, and a half dozen times he found himself having to swallow back the guilt of being there rather than at home. Anytime he got feeling too bad about it, he just reminded himself that Pony was probably having more fun without him. Darry wasn't exactly a ray of sunshine these days and the two of them seemed to be butting heads more often than not. Probably for the better that he wasn't hovering over everything today.
He had two stops on the drive home: the bookstore and the Mathews' house.
Bookstore was first. Darry had stopped by a couple weeks before to put in an order, managing to talk the owner into letting him do a down payment so he only had to pay for half the book then. Talk about pinching pennies.
A nice old lady had been working last time he visited. When he'd explained that the book was going to be a birthday gift for a fourteen year old, and that Pony really wasn't picky and would read anything with a spine, she recommended A Wrinkle in Time. Darry had taken care to study Pony's bookshelf before coming to the store, so he knew he didn't own the book. There was always the chance he'd read it at school or borrowed it from the library, but if Pony liked it then he wouldn't mind owning his own copy.
The same old lady was behind the register when he walked in, and she proudly grinned as she produced a nicely wrapped gift. It was the size of a small book, covered in perfectly neat gray wrapping paper with a gold ribbon bow tied around it. Darry couldn't help but smile.
He paid the other half of the book and wished her a good day.
Then, the Mathews' house. There weren't any cars in the yard when he pulled up but he could hear a record being blasted from the driveway.
The volume at which Girls! Girls! Girls! was being played meant that Darry had to knock twice before he heard the volume get turned down and footsteps approaching the door.
“Hey, Kate.” He gave a polite nod to the young girl that opened the door for him, her eyes going wide as she realized it was him.
“Hi, Darry!” She held the door open for him to walk in, “Sorry, I forgot Momma said you'd be stopping by. Your stuffs on the kitchen table.”
She led him to the kitchen and as they walked past the doorway to the living room, he noticed a couple more girls Kate’s age perched on the couch. They started giggling when they saw him.
On the kitchen table sat the most beautiful birthday cake Darry had ever seen. Originally, he'd been planning on just making their old faithful chocolate cake recipe, but Two-Bit talked him into letting his mom make a real birthday cake. That's what this was, a bona fide birthday cake.
Two layers, circular, with smooth chocolate frosting around the sides and frosted peaks on the top along the edge. Each peak was topped with a couple M&M’s for a splash of color, and ‘Happy Birthday’ was piped in cursive on top. She'd even gone through the trouble of already perfectly placing fourteen candles.
A lump appeared suddenly in Darry's throat at the thought of someone else's mother putting so much time and care into a cake that wasn't for their own child's birthday. He knew Ms. Mathews was a good woman, but this act of kindness might've just bumped her up to angel level.
He swallowed the emotions building and glanced at Kate with a small smile.
“Your momma a secret chef or somethin’?”
“She baked her own wedding cake,” Kate informed him proudly. “I think she wanted to be a baker. She used to make cookies and stuff all the time. Don't really have time for it any more. Doin’ this made her real happy.”
“Well, I think it'll make Ponyboy real happy, too.”
Kate smiled and nodded her head in agreement. She grabbed a plastic cover from the counter and clipped it on to the plastic plate the cake was set on. Something to protect it for the drive. Darry carefully picked it up.
“Would you come grab my truck door for me?”
“Course!” She grinned, and suddenly looked almost identical to Two-Bit.
She bounced back to the front door, waving to her giggling friends as she passed them and opening the passenger door of Darry's truck. He set the cake tray on the floor so it wouldn't slide around in the seat. Then, he turned back to Kate.
“Here, make sure your momma gets this.” He fished a few dollar bills out of his pocket, what he imagined the ingredients would've cost, and held it out to Kate.
Kate's cheeks went red and she crossed her arms. Darry almost groaned, realizing what this meant. Ms. Mathews was an angel, maybe too much so.
“Katherine.” He said with a bit more authority, waving the bills at her.
She just shook her head.
“Momma said not to take any money, no way, no how. Said it was her pleasure and she was doing it for free.”
“I’ll give it to your brother if you don't take it.”
Kate laughed.
“You might as soon throw it down the sewer!”
She turned and raced back towards her front door, waving at Darry once she was there.
“Tell Ponyboy happy birthday!”
With one more grin, she slammed the door shut and Elvis resumed playing.
Darry shoved the cash in his pocket and climbed back into the truck. He'd try to offer the money to Two-Bit, but expected to get the same response. As grateful as he was for the cake, he hated feeling like he owed anyone.
By the time he pulled up to the house, he forced himself back into better spirits. He could see a few heads through the window, picking out at least Soda and Two-Bit.
With the book under his arm and carefully balancing the cake, he kicked the screen door as a way to tell someone to open it for him.
Steve swung it open and Darry had to jump back so it didn't knock the cake right out of his hands.
“Sorry, Superman.” Steve winked at him.
As soon as Darry was in the door, the boys surrounded him. Soda snatched the cake out of his hands and took it to the kitchen table, with Steve and Two-Bit over his shoulders, Two-Bit smiling proudly at it. Darry trailed behind them.
“Where's Pony?”
“Movies with Johnny.” Soda glanced over his shoulder, “Said they'd be back around six-thirty.”
Darry looked at the clock. It was just turning six now, so he shooed everyone out of the kitchen to start on dinner.
“Hey,” Darry grabbed Two-Bit's arm as he passed, “Any use in me trying to pay your Ma for this?”
He grinned just like Kate had.
“Afraid not. Woman threatened me and Sis within an inch of our lives tellin’ us not to take anything if you tried. Course, I did help if you wanted to pay me inst-”
Darry shoved him, sending him cackling and stumbling back into the living room.
Soda shouted a half hour later that he could see Pony, Johnny, and Dal coming up the street.
Good timing, seeing as Darry had just finished the big pot of chili on the stove. Everyone inside started rushing around.
Darry set the cake and the wrapped book on the table, setting off to hunt for a lighter as Soda set down his gift (a few boxes of candy wrapped in newspaper), Steve tossed down a fresh box of smokes, and Two-Bit delicately placed a can of beer. As soon as Darry saw that, he threw it back at Two-Bit who gave an unsurprised shrug and cracked it open.
The three of them lined up in front of the table, blocking the cake from view as Darry lit each of the candles. He took a step back once he was done, leaning against the stove.
Everyone shouted when Ponyboy walked in. Soda leapt across the room in one stride and had him engulfed in a hug. Even from so far away, Darry could see the red blush of embarrassment creep into Pony's cheeks. Made sense. He wasn't a baby kid anymore, he was a tried and true moody teen.
Ponyboy was guided over to the table and his jaw dropped upon seeing the cake. He grinned as Two-Bit and Soda sang obnoxiously and he blew out his candles. Even Dally went so far as to give him a gentle punch on the shoulder before going to fix himself a bowl of chili.
As far as gifts went, Pony wasn't exactly spoiled. He was grateful enough for the cigarettes and candy, and smiled when Johnny presented a beautiful leather bound notebook. It had lineless paper that worked great for drawing, which was a hobby that Pony was becoming increasingly more interested in.
Before anyone could pose the question of how Johnny Cade could afford such a thing, Dallas casually recited the story of how him and Johnny had taken a stroll around real nice art store in downtown Tulsa, with Dally pocketing the thing as soon as Johnny picked it out. Johnny muttered that he had planned on paying for it with money he'd scrounged up from collecting bottles for recycling. Dally scoffed at the idea of wasting his coin on something that could fit in his pocket.
The book was the last thing he opened and Darry, eagle eyed and slightly paranoid, caught how his small smile faltered just a little as he looked it over. Still, Pony was a polite kid.
“Thanks, everyone.” He said genuinely, stacking all his goodies to take to his room later.
They cut cake, taking down half of it as a group, and went outside to play football for a while. When it got too dark to keep playing, they came back in and demolished the other half of the cake.
The energy started trickling out after that.
Two-Bit had to go home to babysit since his mom was pulling a double and his sister didn't like being home alone after dark. Darry tried one last time to get him to take the money, but all he took was the empty plastic cake carrier. Dallas went with him to get dropped off somewhere on the drive over. He palmed Pony a few cents on his way out.
Steve and Soda started a poker game between themselves at the table. By the time Darry was done with dishes, it sounded like they were getting pretty heated.
Pony and Johnny were sharing a smoke on the porch. Johnny was probably spending the night, given that his old man tended to somehow be even worse on the weekends. Darry knew if he wanted a second alone with Pony, he'd have to ask.
Once all the dishes were in the drying rack, he snuck past the warzone that Steve and Soda were creating and stepped out onto the porch.
Johnny and Ponyboy were sitting with their legs dangling off the porch. They both looked up at him with matching, wordlessly curious expressions.
“Johnnycake, you mind if I get a second with the grown up over here?” Darry nodded his head towards Pony.
Without a word, Johnny stood and walked inside. Darry stood where he'd been sitting, leaning against their railing and looking out at the street.
“If you don't want that book we can go exchange it for something else.” He glanced down at Ponyboy. “Like, if you've already read it or don't think you'd like it.”
Pony took a few drags of his cigarette, letting a moment pass before he responded.
“It got published in sixty-two, y'know? Mom read it to me when it first came out.”
His voice wavered the tiniest bit when he mentioned their mom. Darry finally sat down beside him.
“It won't hurt my feelings if you don't wanna keep it.”
“I think I wanna.” Pony flicked some ash from his smoke. “I dunno if I can read it again right now, but I think I'd like to eventually.”
“Okay.” Darry nodded.
He understood. It was still hard to do anything that reminded him of Mom and Dad. Once, he'd almost cried because he saw a woman knitting on the public bus, just like Mom used to. Another time, Gene Autry came on the radio and he swore he could hear Dad singing along.
Pony sucked in a breath.
“She said the main characters reminded her of us.” He had a funny, sad smile on his face.
“That so?”
“Yeah. I don't remember too much of it, though. Just know that there's a real charming boy and a super smart little brother.”
Darry imagined that was Soda and Pony. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know what his parallel was.
“But the real main character is this girl who's having a tough time after her dad goes missing. Everyone thinks she's lousy, but she's just sad. She's the oldest kid so she loved her dad the most.”
Darry shifted uncomfortably as Pony's description went on, but Pony didn't seem to notice. Hell, Pony probably didn't even realize how accurate everything he was describing was.
“Well,” Darry cleared his throat, “I hope it's got a happy ending.”
Pony looked at him, squinting a bit as if he was trying to study him.
“Yeah. Me too.”
Darry nodded. He wasn't looking at him any more. They both stared out at the dark street.
“You have a good birthday?”
“Yeah.” Pony nodded. “Good enough.”
Good enough. That was more than they could say about most aspects of their lives lately. In another world, it was a perfect day with a house full of noise and love smothering Pony from the second he woke up. That's what he deserved. At least what he got was good enough.
“I wish…” Pony whispered. “That it wasn't just us.”
Darry knew what he meant without him needing to say more. He wished it too. At least a hundred times every single day, he wished it.
He could almost see how it would've gone. Dad standing behind Pony with his arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding his baby son to his chest while they all sang happy birthday. Mom cradling his face in her hands after he's blown out his candles, peppering his cheeks with kisses. He'd pretend to be embarrassed but everyone would know better. Dad would help Mom with the dishes while everyone else went outside to play football, and when they came back inside the table would be decorated with a few small, nicely wrapped presents.
He'd gotten nineteen birthdays just like that. He suddenly felt very guilty that Pony would never have that many.
Darry reached out and gave Pony a gentle pat on the shoulder. He really had to remind himself to be gentle these days.
“I know, pal.”
Ponyboy nodded, letting out a long sigh before dropping and crushing his cigarette.
He stood up and held a hand out to Darry, who used it to pull himself up.
For a moment, they just stood there– chest to chest, toe to toe, oldest to youngest, brother to brother. Darry contemplated hugging him, but he was out of practice being soft. He worried if he hugged him now, he'd never let go.
Finally, he stepped away and held the door open for Pony to go back inside. When he walked past Darry, he ruffled his little brother's hair to mess with him. Pony whined and pushed his hand off, and Darry smiled.
Pony walked over to join the poker game in the kitchen, fishing a nickel out of his pocket and tossing it into the small pile of coins in the middle of the table.
Darry noticed how Pony's eyes lit up as he sat next to Johnny and was dealt in by Soda. He noticed how Johnny got a little smile when Steve started griping about ‘the little kid’ being allowed to play. He noticed how Soda rolled his eyes with no malice whatsoever and reminded Steve that Pony wasn't a little kid any more.
Seeing them all playing together, Darry understood that good enough didn't have to mean just so-so. This was good enough and it was as good as it possibly could have been given the scenario. This good enough night was the first time Darry thought, with full sincerity, that they might actually be okay. If they could handle this, why not anything else?
Happy birthday, kid. He didn't say out loud. Here's to a million more good enough days.