Chapter Text
Tobirama stares up at the familiar figure on the cliff, long hair blowing in the wind, and wants to throw up.
"Look at him!" He spins around, poking his brother's dō to make his point. "That's your 'gift from the divine' up there and you'd better take responsibility for him!"
"But - but!" Anija waves his hands wildly, a habit Tobirama knows he had long before he met Madara even if no one else remembers it. "The Jūbi!"
"He put your face on his chest!" It's unseemly to shout like this - as an older brother Anija deserves his respect - but Tobirama has long since resigned himself to having no dignity at all when it comes to these two. "He's the cause of all this, and all he wants right now is to fight you!"
"Do you really think so?" Anija peeks up at Madara through his eyelashes, and Tobirama wishes for death.
Again.
"Yes, Anija, I really truly do." He shoves his brother towards the man who was always present in their lives, in sprit if not physically. "Now go and fix this!"
"Alright!" No longer torn between duty and the man who calls to him, Anija smiles cheerfully and pats him on the shoulder. "I'll leave the rest to you then?"
"Yes, yes, as always." Tobirama shakes his head as his brother runs off, leaping onto the cliff face and racing upwards with joy. "Leave me to clean up all your mess, as usual."
He deliberately closes his ears to their gleeful shouts of each other's names, not wanting to know any more than he already does as they vanish into a giant cloud of dust and flame. Instead he turns his attention to the rest of the army, holding his hands up to his mouth and bellowing orders. "Everyone! Battle formations! We're attacking the Jūbi while Anija has Madara distracted!"
"... are you sure?" A man from one of the younger generations, the one Hiruzen claimed as a successor, looks concerned at the idea of splitting their forces. "What happens if the Shodai doesn't win?"
"Sex, Yondaime." Tobirama sighs, wondering when he got so old. "Sex happens."
The young Hokage looks at him, aghast, and he supposes that Anija and Madara do take getting some used to.
"Don't worry," he tries to make his voice comforting, but he was always bad at that. "They'll grind each other into the ground. One way or another."
"They never taught us this in history class at the Academy." The Yondaime seems numb with shock.
"I should hope not, the Academy was always intended for the education of children." And Tobirama hopes it still is. It's worrying that a Hokage, the one man who should know all the secrets of the village, didn't read the notes he left though. There are more immediate problems now however, and he turns away to yell at the troops. "Everyone ready? Let's go!"
He charges the Jūbi, deliberately keeping his pace slow enough for the army to follow in his footsteps, and can't help grinning.
Dead and he's still doing the same thing.
Some things really don't change.