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The first time was an accident, Chat Noir told her later.
(He’d had time to think up an excuse, Ladybug thought bitterly later.)
In the heat of the moment, though, she had barely noticed. The akuma victim had been a younger student, a girl nicknamed Gigi that Marinette didn’t know well but had seen often enough to recognize her signature necklace, even after being warped by dark magic. It had made sneaking out of her own class a bit trickier, but it had been worth it not to battle another friend of her own.
At least, that’s what Marinette had thought. That was before the staircase collapsed on her fleeing classmates. The shrieks caught her attention long enough for Gigi to throw Ladybug off balance. Ladybug landed on her feet on the enclosed courtyard, deciding to ignore the akuma victim even if it cost her later. Right now, she needed to get her friends out.
Alya and Nino had already succeeded in herding most of the students outside, Ladybug realized with a flash of pride. She glanced outside, counting the number of heads in the crowd. Teens, teachers, janitors… almost everyone was accounted for, Ladybug noticed with her keen vision. Something felt wrong, though, something small but painful under her skin like a splinter.
Ladybug turned to Alya. “Where’s – “
“Ladybug!” A voice from back inside, back under the stairwell cried out, a voice Ladybug knew by heart. Alya and Nino both startled as well, moving behind Ladybug before she reached out to stop them.
“Stay here,” Ladybug commanded. “Please, I don’t want you two getting hurt, too.”
Her friends shared a look, but they nodded. That was all the agreement Ladybug needed before tearing back into the school. She couldn’t believe her luck, couldn’t believe she had missed him.
Of course it was Adrien. Of course the thing had Adrien, trapped under a pile of metal where their staircase used to be.
The boy laughed from where he lay under the debris, gazing up at Ladybug. “And here I was thinking today might be my lucky day.” There was a heavy beam across his left leg, part of a plank pinning his right arm across his chest at an awkward angle that made it impossible to remove himself. She stared at the scene in horror before the akuma was at her back, Ladybug barely managing to spin her around and away from Adrien.
She still looked like a person, Ladybug thought, grabbing the girl’s arms and tying them together with her yo-yo. It was her turn to knock the villain off-balance, leaving the shrieking thing to kick at Ladybug from the floor. It wouldn’t buy her much time, but the rope wouldn’t break, and Adrien needed to be her first priority before he was crushed any further.
Ladybug lifted the metal away easily, mostly from adrenaline she reasoned. Steel bars had never felt a light as they did now, when it was Adrien’s life on the line. Despite his protests, Ladybug picked up her friend, darting toward the main entrance. She could hear the akuma struggling to her feet behind them.
Racing to Alya and Nino, Ladybug finally dared to set Adrien back on his own feet. She put a hand on his back to steady him briefly before his friends grabbed his arms. “OK, all of you get out of here,” she panted, feeling momentarily dazed. “I still need to take care of the akuma in there.”
“Wait,” said Adrien, green eyes growing wide, “ I need to – ”
“Dude, come on,” yelled Nino. “You almost got crushed by a staircase, I think your hero-worship can wait!”
It was almost enough to make Ladybug smile. She turned back to the advancing akuma as Alya shut the door behind her.
A few minutes later, Ladybug escorted Gigi outside, handing the tearful girl over to her friends, to a swarm of students she didn’t know but who were all in various states of apology, before turning to look at the crowd once more. Alya and Nino were staring at her but talking between themselves, both looking suspicious. Adrien was surrounded, she noted with disappointment, by Chloe, his driver, and one or two paramedics. He had eyes only for her, though, Ladybug realized. He was looking through the crowd at her like he was hallucinating, like he couldn’t believe it.
Ladybug smiled before taking off into the sky, leaving before she accrued a mob of her own. She spent all night, riding the high of Adrien’s attention well into the lonely hours.
It didn’t matter that Chat missed the situation, and that he missed patrol that night, too, Marinette told herself. She had handled things on her own, even if she hadn’t wanted to. Besides, she had her own thoughts to keep her company.
Marinette worried about Adrien a lot. Ever since the Bubbler and his web of abducted parents led her to Adrien’s home, she worried about finding him under an akuma’s thrall. The possessed butterflies came closer and closer to consuming everyone in their school, in their class, and everyone Marinette cared about in real life. Fortunately during and after the Nino incident, Adrien had kept a level head and stayed out of the way every time the akuma came. It could still happen, though.
The second time Ladybug had chalked up to coincidence. It wasn’t feasible for Chat Noir to always be where she was during the daytime. Until now, of course, he always had been, Marinette thought. That didn’t mean he always would be, though. He might be older than her, attending a different collège or even lycée across town. He might be homeschooled for all she knew. True, he had shown up to fight Nathanael at her school’s library, and to search for Mylène when she was akumatized during their movie filming, but he never struck her as being a fellow classmate, as someone who stood out at their school. She would know that cat anywhere, right? It would be quite the coincidence if they did know each other, but even then, she couldn’t expect her partner to know everything.
For example, how would Chat know she was attending a fashion show in the eighth district? How would Chat anticipate a fledgling fashion designer getting their designs stolen, getting passed off as a competitor’s own ideas? Marinette wouldn’t have known herself if she hadn’t overheard the exchange while wishing Adrien good luck backstage before he took to the catwalk.
It wasn’t awful, though. Ladybug had had the upper hand the whole time, having an idea of who was behind the mask and what she needed to break the akuma out of beforehand. She had panicked when the villain grabbed Adrien to use as leverage, threatening to turn him into a mannequin the entire fight, but that extra motivation had made victory even sweeter. Adrien had even thanked her personally this time. Ladybug blushed at the memory of his lips brushing against her cheek, the moment marred only by the sound of her partner clearing his throat.
“You all right there, my lady?” Chat Noir asked, sounding sincerely concerned before giving himself away with a grin. “If it wasn’t for those black spots I wouldn’t have been able to see your beautiful face.”
Ladybug sighed and shook her head at him. “I’m just thinking about earlier today.”
“Ah.” Chat looked away, gazing out at the night skyline. “I heard about that on the news this afternoon. My sincerest apologies for not being there.”
It struck her as odd that her partner didn’t offer more of an explanation. Not that Ladybug expected him to divulge every detail of his personal life; she just wondered what had kept him and was hoping he wouldn’t make her pry for information. It wasn’t like him not to telegraph every thought and action before now.
Ladybug watched him avoid her gaze for a long moment before replying. “That’s fine, Chat. Just, try not to let it happen again.”
He nodded once, still looking out at the city, before turning to face her with a smile. “So,” he said, nodding sharply to the left. Ladybug followed his gesturing and was startled to see a billboard for Gabriel’s latest perfume. “Everyone apart from the akuma was a model citizen today?”
Ladybug pinched the bridge of her nose. “No comment,” she replied before turning her back on Chat, pretending she didn’t hear his imitation kissy noises as they prepared to patrol.
*****
The third time had been on purpose, on both her boys’ ends. That time Ladybug knew Chat had to be ignoring her. She had known she couldn’t rely on him every time, but she hadn’t known he could be so cruel. She hadn’t known her partner was cold enough not to come as she cradled her unconscious classmate and cried into Adrien Agreste’s bloody hair. Third time was the charm, Ladybug thought bitterly.
Ladybug had been run down, hadn’t had a chance to catch her breath since the crazed villain started tearing up the streets of the city. She didn’t know who or what he was or where he had come from; she hadn’t had time to analyze the situation. All she knew was that he could seemingly manipulate metal. He had twisted lampposts into knots, had pulled the entire side off a skyscraper. Ladybug’s yo-yo hadn’t been affected when she attempted to reel him in, but it was still a struggle to reel him in.
The akuma looked at her over his shoulder, watched with a smirk as Ladybug strained to subdue him.
“So, Ladybug,” the stranger asked casually, “are you ready for a crash course in villainy?”
“What.” Ladybug had to wonder what it was with all the bad puns before remembering angrily that Chat Noir was nowhere to be found, no where to help her out or joke back right now. If only –
“Ladybug!” A voice called out behind her, a voice Ladybug knew by heart, and no no no this couldn’t be happening now, not what she knew deep down was about to happen.
Ladybug turned completely to see a car flying through the air, arcing back toward the earth, toward her. At the exact moment she registered the metal-bender’s projectile, she felt Adrien Agreste’s arms wrap around her waist, felt his weigh slam into her, knocking them both to the ground between two parked cars as the other vehicle collided with the street where they had stood moment ago. Ladybug dropped her yo-yo in the melee, releasing her prisoner in the process.
Ladybug lay underneath her friend, struggling to get air back into her lungs. She watched, helpless to stop, as the akuma ran further into the city, beams bending and breaking in his wake. Breathlessly, Ladybug pushed at Adrien’s shoulder.
“Adrien,” she said, struggling inside and out. “Adrien, get up.”
The boy didn’t move; feeling paralyzed once more despite the air rushing to her lungs, Ladybug rolled him over, sitting up to look at him. Adrien was out cold, a nice, new gash running across his forehead. Ladybug noticed a small streak of blood on the bumper beside him; he must have struck his head as they landed.
Stunned, Ladybug sat with Adrien until she could think straight again. She felt so lost, so alone, and she could do it alone, she could, but she didn’t want to. She wanted Chat to be out there, curbing the problem with her or for her right now. She wanted Adrien to be OK now instead of whenever she had fixed the rest of the city. She didn’t even know what possessed the akumatized man, didn’t know what possessed Adrien to act when he saw her. She didn’t know what to do, but she had to figure it out.
Ladybug cried until the negative thoughts swirling around her mind let up, until she could bear to leave Adrien alone, still unconscious but out of harm’s way.
Four hours later, Ladybug still couldn’t believe she had done it. She was lucky, sure, but it was almost mythical that she had managed to figure out the man was a factory worker and his akuma was a keychain he had received as a present from his wife, with whom he had fought earlier this morning before the akuma found him. In a world of coincidences…
Ladybug shook her head. No. There were no coincidences today. Not when her partner had been spotted helping people two streets over before Adrien Agreste had come running to save her and then vanished into thin air.
He must have seen her with Adrien, Ladybug reasoned as she made her way across town in the waning light of day. Chat was in the neighborhood, had seen her attending to Adrien, and then… then what? Run away? Decided she could manage on her own? Decided she didn’t deserve his help?
She was on the roof of the building across from her house, preparing to leap onto her balcony, when she heard him.
“My Lady.” It was Chat, of course; it had to be. He sounded breathless, as if he had been tailing her the entire time. Why hadn’t he spoken up sooner, Ladybug wondered. Why hadn’t he said something before?
Before.
Ladybug turned to glare at Chat Noir, her hands balling into fists at her sides. “You can’t do that,” she said, her voice quiet, yet sharp enough to cut the stillness between them.
“I know,” Chat countered, plowing on confidently despite his pulled-back ears. “I don’t want you to think I’m weak, or that I don’t care – “
“Do you?” Ladybug snapped. “You can’t abandon me like that! I was counting on you to help me, to help the people of Paris, and you weren’t there! I can’t believe you’re letting your feelings for one civilian get in the way of our partnership.”
Chat took a step back, puzzlement coloring his green eyes. “A civilian? Who is it?”
“Don’t lie to me, please,” Ladybug argued. Playing dumb didn’t suit him. “We’re supposed to trust each other; we need to trust each other, so please don’t pretend you aren’t jealous of Adrien Agreste and then not show up whenever I spend time with him!”
“Adrien Agreste?” Chat Noir squeaked. “What about him?”
“Stop it, Chat,” Ladybug said. “Just because I like him – “
“You… you like him?” Chat Noir gawked at her, looking thunderstruck.
Ladybug bristled at his distaste, her partner’s noticeable emphasis on him. “So what if I do? Are you going to take off on me again, lick your own wounds in private when we could be helping other people in actual harm?”
Chat looked like he was about to speak, looked like he wanted to tell her exactly what he thought if she did, but then his expression clouded. He shut his mouth quickly, his teeth clacking together loud enough for her to hear. It was all the proof Ladybug needed of his jealousy. She only hoped she was wrong about what it meant for their patrol that night.
“My Lady,” Chat Noir said after a heavy pause, sounding more pained than before. “I will be doing nothing of the sort.”
His bright green eyes seemed distant, but he kept his word the entire night.
*****
“A-Adrien? Are you alright?”
Marinette stammered for the first time in forever, not out of nervousness but from fear. Adrien had arrived late to class that morning and had been in a noticeably bad mood the entire morning, deflating only slightly when Nino had put a hand on his shoulder. Sitting next to him now in the courtyard during their break, Marinette could practically feel the anger coming off him in waves.
“I’m fine,” Adrien snapped from where he was curled in on himself. Marinette flinched at his tone, but she persevered, scooting closer until their thighs were pressed together.
At her touch, some of the tension seemed to slip away. Adrien sighed before sitting upright to run a hand through his hair. He seemed more animated than Marinette thought she had seen him lately, less reserved or restrained.
“I’m sorry, Marinette,” Adrien said, turning to meet her gaze. “Really. Something else is bothering me, and I didn’t mean… it’s nothing.”
Cautiously, Marinette took one of his hands and clasped it between both of hers. “Do you want to talk about it?” Maybe it would help to have someone listen for once.
Adrien smiled at her, small and sad. “Not really, no.” He gave her left hand a gentle squeeze before withdrawing into himself again. “I appreciate the offer, though.”
As he turned away, a swell of courage seized Marinette and she laid her right hand on his back, pressing between his shoulder blades. Adrien hunched over again, head in his hands, but he didn’t tell her to let go. Marinette rubbed circles on his back, appreciating the way his muscles rippled under her fingertips, until he made a low noise. It was somewhere between a grumble and a purr, but it snapped Marinette back to reality like a splash of cold water to the face. She drew her hand back, taking it as her cue to stop. Adrien remained motionless, exactly like nothing had happened, like everything would be the same of Marinette hadn’t been there.
Marinette sighed. She couldn’t fix everything, she knew. There was only so much weak Marinette could do.
Ladybug, however, was limitless.
*****
Though they were rarely open (Marinette wasn’t even sure they could open, but here she was), one of Adrien’s mammoth windows was ajar when Ladybug swooped by Agreste manor that afternoon.
Ladybug landed on the roof of his home, hoping there weren’t any security cameras around to catch her mental pep talk. She could do this; Ladybug could talk to Adrien about what was bothering him. If he didn’t trust Marinette, he could definitely trust the heroine of Paris. Who in the entire city was better at keeping secrets?
Securing her yo-yo around a smokestack, Ladybug lowered herself off the roof until she was looking into Adrien’s roof. He sat at his computer, his back to her, apparently surfing the web instead of working on homework. Ladybug braced herself before tapping softly on the glass. “Anybody home?” she called through the crack.
Adrien shot up out of his chair, whirling to face her with startled green eyes. Though alarmed, he didn’t look scared, which Ladybug took as a good sign.
“Ladybug?” Adrien asked, incredulous. He looked over his shoulder at his desk for a moment before turning back to the window. He made his way toward her until they were face to face through the glass. “What are you doing here?"
She wanted to make a cute joke, wanted to say something about a little birdie telling her he needed cheering up, but everything Ladybug could think of pointed the finger at Marinette. Adrien couldn’t connect those dots, couldn’t know as much as she ached to tell him right then about her double life.
Instead she said, “Let me in?” It was a light question, hopefully as polite yet flirty as she intended. She could do this once he invited her in, once she had bought a little more time.
Instead, Adrien’s expression clouded. He took a step back; Ladybug felt her heart sink.
“I,” Adrien began, his gaze darting away from her for a few seconds before resuming eye contact. “I want to, but I can’t.”
Ladybug understood that he wasn’t being entirely literal. “I see,” she replied, trying to remain positive. “Is there… somewhere else you would rather meet? On even ground, so to speak,” she added, throwing a glance over her shoulder to the street below with a small smile.
Adrien gave her a small smile of his own. “In front of the fountain across the street?” he proposed.
Ladybug saluted. “I’ll bug you later there,” she replied before tugging on the yo-yo, cringing at her own comment the entire time the rope retracted and pulled her toward the roof.
She was still replaying the exchange five minutes later, sitting alone on the stone edge of the fountain, when an all-too-familiar, black-clad cat-boy landed on the cobblestone before her.
“What seems to be the emergency, my lady?” Chat Noir asked, bending in a mock bow.
“Uh, there isn’t one,” Ladybug replied harshly. He must have seen her suited up in public and misinterpreted the situation. “I’m meeting a bo— er, friend here.”
“Aww, I didn’t know we were at that stage in our relationship yet, Bug-a-boo,” the boy cooed.
“I wasn’t talking about you,” Ladybug grumbled as her partner took a seat beside her.
Chat Noir sighed, sobering up. “We do need to talk, though, don’t we?” he asked, glancing at her with sad, serious eyes.
“So talk,” Ladybug said, crossing her arms. “I think I said enough of my piece last time.” She hoped her face didn’t betray how hot her cheeks currently felt. It was bad enough Chat had learned of her crush on Adrien; she didn’t need to rehash that confession once again.
Fortunately, Chat Noir nodded, angling himself more toward her. “Well, much as I would like it to,” he began, “my world doesn’t revolve around you. Sometimes things just happen, especially in a city like ours. Accidents happen, prior commitments to other people get in the way… Chat Noir might be super, but me, underneath it all? I… I’m fallible.” Her partner gave her a weak smile, meant to be self-deprecating, but his drooping cat ears exposed his true hand. Ladybug resisted the urge to place her hand atop his.
“You have to know, though,” Chat continued passionately, “I would never voluntarily leave your side.” As if having read her mind, Chat took her right hand in both of his. He gazed at her in earnest. “I never could, rather.”
Ladybug struggled to find words for a moment. She cleared her throat, her eyes never leaving his. “You’re right,” she said, clearing her throat. She felt foolish for doubting him, for doubting his devotion (to her or to their cause, she didn’t want to say). “I’m sorry I doubted you.”
Chat chuckled darkly. “See? I’m not the only one letting my feelings for one civilian get in the way of our partnership.” He turned, looking past the pouring water and the high metal gates to stare back sadly at Agreste manor. “I hope someday you care about me as much as you do him…”
“I do,” Ladybug interjected, not caring whether or not that aside was meant for her ears. “I do care about you, but I know you can take care of yourself, Chat. Adrien – “
“Can I?” Chat asked, turning back to her, his green eyes still sad. “It seems like you’re saving my tail at every turn.”
It was the wrong time and the wrong boy, but Ladybug couldn’t help hearing Adrien’s words, his voice echoing in her mind. “You’d probably do better alone. I’m nothing compared to you.”
“You have my back, too,” Ladybug assured him, giving his hands a squeeze before drawing her hands back to her lap. She thought of the number of sacrifices he had made for her, the number of times he had taken a literal or metaphorical bullet for her. “Ladybug can’t do it alone.”
Her partner raised an eyebrow at that.
“Or, well, I could do it alone, have done it alone a few times lately,” Ladybug amended, wringing her hands nervously. “But I don’t want to, and not just because it makes things easier when there’s two of us. Don’t sell yourself short just because I like someone else now.”
They sat in companionable silence, watching the crowd milling about the square. People looked at them and pointed every now and again, but no one came near, allowing their heroes a moment of peace and quiet.
“So,” Chat began, his voice lighter than she had heard it in weeks, “You really want that prince locked away in the high tower, huh?”
Ladybug’s open palm met her own face.
“No, no, I get it,” Chat continued teasing. “Nothing but the best for you, my dear, but consider this – you, being seen on the arm of another attractive man to spike his interest. I bet there’s some jealousy simmering under that cover boy exterior, and who better to help you bring it out than yours truly?” He punctuated a proposal with a waggle of his masked eyebrows.
Ladybug groaned. “In your dreams, kitty kitty.”