Work Text:
Tango tended to overthink things. Whether that be his redstone, his job, or his relationships. But he had never over thought about his friendship with Jimmy before. Jimmy was the one who had come to him, after all. All those months ago.
Tango can still remember it like it was yesterday. The way Jimmy had come to him, terrified and worried but most of all, sick and hurt from some cat in the apartment next to him. Jimmy had decided to put his trust in Tango, not knowing what was going to happen. Of course Tango helped, why wouldn’t he?
He helped with his wounds and helped nurse him back to health. Over that time, Jimmy and him talked and became friends. And when Jimmy was fully healed and ready to leave he kept coming back and hanging out with Tango.
It had been Jimmy’s decision to come to Tango in the first place and it had been his decision to come back after the fact. So Tango really had nothing to worry about.
Right?
Apparently that’s not what his coworkers thought.
See, borrowers like Jimmy were common knowledge, and while some people unfortunately did take advantage of them and others fortunately tried to help, most seemed to just ignore them for the most part. Tango never really understood that. How could he just ignore a whole person like that? He would if that’s what they wanted but if they needed help he was going to help them. He’d had that thought even before meeting Jimmy and it had only grown since.
So, with borrowers being known, Tango liked to talk about the things he and Jimmy got up to to whoever would listen. Usually that was to his friends but he didn’t mind talking to his coworkers either.
“Jimmy is a borrower, right?” A new hire interrupted his story and Tango looked at her.
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, he is.” Tango answered and then was confused by the sour look on her face. “Why?” He added on, wanting to know what was wrong.
“It’s just…don’t you think it’s been long enough?” She said, arms crossed. Now Tango was even more confused.
“Long…enough?” He repeated and his confusion must have been obvious because she continued.
“You know, borrowers aren’t ones to be around humans. Especially not for that long. You need to let him go already.” She said, not unkindly but also not kindly either. Either way, Tango was starting to get a bit annoyed with her.
“What are you talking about? I’ve never kept Jimmy or-or forced him to stay. He’s the one who always comes back, on his own.” Tango tried his best to explain without letting his annoyance shine through. He seemed to not be entirely successful, because he saw her wince.
“Does he, though?” She asked and it made Tango pause.
“What?”
She sighed. “You met him by him coming to you and asking for help, right?” She asked, and he nodded. “So don’t you think, maybe, he keeps coming back to hang out with you to…I don’t know, repay some sort of debt he feels like he owes you? Or maybe even out of fear. Or both?” She said.
Tango took in her words, trying his best to process them accordingly. “But that’s…I…I don’t…” Tango let his mix of words trail off, not knowing what to say. That couldn’t be the case, right? Jimmy never showed any sort of fear to him, at least, not since the beginning. And he seemed just as happy to hang out with Tango and Tango did with him.
But what if his coworker was right? What if it was all an act? What if this whole time, Jimmy was waiting for Tango to tell him his debt was repaid. What if Jimmy didn’t leave himself because he was scared of what Tango would do?
What if Jimmy was terrified of Tango?
Just the thought hurt more than Tango could’ve imagined. He loved Jimmy, the borrower had quickly become one of his best friends. The idea that that wasn’t reciprocated, that it had been one-sided this whole time…
It made Tango feel awful.
“Borrowers are skittish and solitary creatures.” His coworker said when he didn’t speak for a while. She at least looked a bit sad for him. “They’re scared of us and they like to be left alone. Just because Jimmy came to you for help that one time, doesn’t mean he thinks any differently of you.”
Tango’s shoulders fell and he looked down at his hands. “...Right.” He croaked out, trying hard not to cry in the middle of work.
His coworker came over and patted his shoulder as she passed by him. “You’re not a bad person Tango. You just gotta fix your mistake and let him go.” And with that, his coworker left to get back to work.
Tango put his head in his hands and rubbed at his face. She couldn’t be right, right? There was no way Jimmy was that good at hiding his true feelings, right? Tango wasn’t keeping him there, right? Right?
Tango felt like screaming.
That particular conversation had happened in the middle of the day, which meant Tango had to still work another four hours while trying very hard not to think about what she had said. Of course, try as he might, he still thought about it anyway. And the more he thought about it, the more he began to believe that she was right.
Tango walked through his apartment door feeling exhausted. He had gone through a lot of emotions in the last few hours and all he wanted to do was fall in bed and escape from the world and all his problems.
Of course, he couldn’t do that. Especially when he noticed Jimmy waiting for him in the kitchen. The little borrower was sitting on the edge of the counter, swinging his feet back and forth. Normally, the sight would put a soft smile on Tango’s face but today, all Tango could feel was guilt and dread gnawing at his insides.
Was Jimmy here because he thought that’s what Tango wanted?
“Hey Tango!” Jimmy exclaimed, waving a hand as a greeting.
Tango swallowed and tried his best to smile back. He feared it came out more as a grimace though. “H-Hey Jimmy.”
Jimmy tilted his head, looking confused. “Everything okay?”
Tango sighed, running a hand along his face. “...Yeah, yeah. Just a rough day at work, that’s all.” Tango decided to say, still trying to figure out what he was going to do.
Jimmy winced at that. “I’m sorry.” He looked around the kitchen for a moment. “Well, how about we order some pizza and watch a movie! To help you feel better and get your mind off work.” Jimmy suggested with a smile. Normally, Tango’s heart would go fuzzy at something like that. But with his coworker’s words echoing in his head, all he heard was Jimmy trying his best to make Tango feel better because he owed him or, maybe even, because he was afraid .
“Jimmy, you don’t…you don’t have to do that.” Tango said, not meeting Jimmy’s eyes. Jimmy frowned, head tilted in confusion.
“What? What do you mean?” Jimmy asked. Tango looked at his face. He looked genuinely confused but what if he was just a really good actor? Tango bit his lip.
“I mean that you…you don’t have to hang out with me.” Tango said, feeling awful about what he was saying. He would hate to see Jimmy go but he hated it more that he was forcing him to stay.
If anything, Jimmy just looked even more confused at that. And a bit hurt. “I don’t have to…Tango, I-I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Tango winced. He hadn’t missed the way Jimmy’s voice had stuttered briefly. Tango shook his head. “I know you’ve just been hanging out with me cause you think that’s what I want. Because you’re-you’re scared and you think you owe me. But you don’t! You don’t owe me anything and you can leave and never come back, like borrowers are supposed to!” Tango couldn’t stop the flurry of emotions as he told Jimmy all of this. Getting a little too heated in the moment.
Jimmy flinched, at his words or tone, Tango wasn’t sure. But it didn’t matter. Jimmy had flinched . A sign of fear. Directed right at Tango .
Tango felt sick at the thought that his coworker had been right .
Tango backed away from Jimmy, running a hand through his hair nervously. At this point, Jimmy had stood up, looking at Tango with an expression Tango couldn’t make out with his current state of mind. He wouldn’t be surprised if it was with fear though. “Tango, wait--”
“I’m gonna go.” Tango said, cutting Jimmy off. “I’m gonna go and-and you can leave. You’re free to-to leave and-and yeah. Yeah.” Tango turned around and headed back towards the door. “I’m sorry Jimmy, I’m really really sorry.” He said before leaving his apartment, closing the door behind him and not looking back.
Tango found himself at Impulse and Skizz’s place. He hadn’t had them in mind, he had just gotten into his car and started driving and had found that he was taking the familiar path towards their place. Maybe his subconscious knew he needed friends to talk to.
He got out of his car and knocked on their door before sticking his hands into his jacket pockets. The evening air was chilly, which did well to hide the main reason Tango was shaking.
The door opened, and he was met with a surprised looking Impulse. “Tango? What are you doing here?”
Tango bit his lip. “Can I come in?” He said, his voice hoarse from trying to push his sadness back.
Impulse seemed to pick up that something was wrong because he just nodded and stepped aside for Tango to come in. Tango took the invitation and Impulse closed the door behind him as Tango made his way into their living room. Skizz was on the couch and looked up at him with equal amounts of surprise. “Top? Did I miss a text or something?” Skizz asked, checking his phone.
“No, no I…I didn’t text ahead or anything. Sorry, I just…I wasn’t really even expecting to come here tonight. It just sort of…happened.” Tango said, looking down. Skizz looked concerned and Impulse came up behind Tango and placed a hand on his back reassuringly.
“Come on, why don’t we have a seat.” Impulse said, gently guiding Tango towards the couch. Tango sat a cushion away from Skizz while Impulse took the armchair across from the couch.
“Alright, tell us what happened Tango.” Impulse said, leaning forward in the chair to show that he was listening. Skizz had shifted his body toward Tango to portray the same thing.
Tango shook his head. “Nothing just…someone at work, someone new, told me something I should have figured out a while ago.”
Impulse and Skizz shared a look.
“Something about work?” Skizz asked.
Again, Tango shook his head. He didn’t know why he was beating around the bush. “No, about…about Jimmy.”
“Jimmy?” Impulse asked, confusion evident in his tone. “What about Jimmy?”
Tango sighed and began to explain everything that had happened. “I was telling my new coworker about something me and Jimmy had done a few days ago but she interrupted me and said…she said I had to let Jimmy go. That the only reason he was hanging out with me was because he was scared and thought he owed me for saving his life.”
Impulse and Skizz were silent for a moment. “And…you believed her?” Skizz asked, incredulous.
Tango sighed. “I didn’t want to but she-she made some good points. Borrowers are lone creatures who usually stay away from humans. But this whole time I was forcing Jimmy to keep coming back…”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa .” Skizz said, hands up and waving. “You haven’t forced Jimmy to do anything, Top! I know you, you would never forgive yourself if you did.”
“But I--”
“Tango, we’ve met Jimmy.” Impulse chimed in, his arms crossed and his features pinched. “Nothing about his demeanor ever showed us he was afraid of you. In fact, it was the opposite . I’d never seen a borrower that comfortable with a human before.”
Tango sighed. “That’s what I thought too. But…”
“Have you talked to Jimmy about it?” Skizz asked. Tango winced.
“Uh, I mean…if by talking you mean telling him he doesn’t have to hang out with me and saying he can leave and then leaving myself then…yes?” Tango said, not looking at either of his friends.
“...Top.”
Tango groaned and placed his head in his hands.
“So let me get this straight.” Impulse said with a sigh. “Instead of talking to Jimmy about it, you just assumed that was how he felt, acted accordingly and then just left?”
Tango hesitated before nodding.
“Oh buddy.” Impulse sighed.
“I was running high on emotions, all right! Besides, Jimmy flinched . Because of me . Obviously there’s some truth to what my coworker said, right?” Tango said, not forgetting the thing that had made him just up and leave in the first place.
“Did you think that maybe he flinched because of what you said?” Skizz asked, head tilted. “I know I would be a little shocked if one of my friends suddenly told me that I didn’t have to hang out with them anymore.”
Tango blinked. “I…didn’t think about that.”
“Clearly.” Impulse said, not unkindly.
“Okay, here’s what you’re going to do.” Skizz said with a sudden clap of his hands. “You, Top, are going to march right on back home and have an actual two-sided conversation with Jimmy. Got it?”
Tango nodded. “...Got it.”
“We’ll be right here in case anything happens.” Impulse said. “But I highly doubt anything will .”
“Yeah, you and Jimmy are friends! You just gotta talk to him.”
Tango nodded along but doubt still plagued his mind. Still, he would listen to his friends and talk this out with Jimmy.
He really hoped they were right.
Tango took a deep breath as he made his way back to his door, key in hand. He didn’t know what to expect, if he was being honest. He told Jimmy to leave, after all, it was possible the borrower had done so already. If that was the case, Tango’s plan to talk to Jimmy would be impossible.
Tango opened the door, closed it behind him, and walked into the kitchen. Immediately, his eyes fell onto Jimmy, who was in the same spot he had left him in. Jimmy was sat down, head in one hand, looking…well, sad. But then his eyes looked up and met Tango’s and he jumped up, his eyes wide. “Tango! You’re back!”
Tango paused, not coming any closer to Jimmy. Not yet. “And you’re still here.” Tango said, a bit of shock in his voice. A part of him had really expected Jimmy to have left.
Jimmy’s eyebrows furrowed. “Of course I am. I…I don’t really know what’s going on. But I know something happened. So I waited here for you to get back. So we could…talk.”
“Right, yeah.” Tango said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m…I’m sorry. A new coworker of mine said some things that made me…doubt everything.”
Jimmy tilted his head. “Doubt everything? About what?”
Tango braced himself. “About…us.”
Jimmy blinked. “I…I’m a little confused here Tango.”
Tango sighed and got into explaining everything. “She basically said I was forcing you to be here because you're scared and you think you still owe me for saving your life. I didn’t want to believe her at first but she said borrowers are lone creatures who don’t socialize with humans if they don’t have to. The more she spoke the more I…started to believe her.” Tango shook his head. “Which is why I told you that you didn’t have to hang out with me anymore. You never owed me anything for saving you, so you don’t have to keep this up anymore.”
Tango very pointedly did not look at Jimmy throughout his entire explanation. He didn’t want to see the look of relief he feared would be there.
“Oh, Tango…” Jimmy started and Tango winced. This was it, Jimmy was gonna leave for good now. “That coworker of yours doesn’t know anything .”
At those words, Tango lifted his head and met Jimmy’s eyes. He had something akin to determination in his gaze. “She doesn’t?” Tango asked, hopeful.
“Of course not !” Jimmy exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “Tango, I’m not scared of you or think I owe you or something weird like that. You’re my friend . I come back to hang out with you because I like hanging out with you.”
“Oh…” Tango looked down, his face heating up. He knew that. Or he had known that. Until he had let his coworker’s words infect his brain and let his doubt fester into anxiety. Now he just felt bad for ever doubting Jimmy’s friendship. “Jimmy, I’m so sorry for…for doubting all of this, I--”
Jimmy waved his hand, cutting him off. The borrower smiled. “You don’t have to apologize, Tango. I get it. Doubt and anxiety really suck, don’t they?”
Tango couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at that. “Yeah, they really do.” He then paused, and sighed. “Still, I am sorry. Just, the thought of losing you as a friend…it really got to me I guess.”
Jimmy smiled softly. “I get it. It would get to me too. You mean a lot to me Tango.”
Tango smiled back. “You mean a lot to me too, Jimmy.”
“So, pizza? Movie? I know it’s kind of late, but I think we both might need it.” Jimmy suggested and Tango chuckled.
“Understatement. Yeah, that sounds really good.” Tango said and then Jimmy waved him closer. Tango smiled and bridged the gap between them, placing his hand down next to Jimmy. Jimmy grinned and got on with no hesitation.
Before going anywhere though, Tango brought his hand up and pressed Jimmy gently into his chest, their form of a hug. Jimmy seemed surprised for a moment but very quickly did his best to hug back.
After a few moments, Tango brought Jimmy away from his chest and headed into the living room. “Alright, you pick the movie, I’ll order the pizza.”
Jimmy grinned. “Sounds perfect.”