Chapter Text
Demons were largely a self-sufficient majority. They usually nursed short-term goals and capitulated to the strongest in physical combat. Demons would happily fight over territories and not think about taxes.
But this was all a majority. They were demons like Mobei-Jun and his sniveling rat (demon in spirit) who did not enjoy the unrest.
They wanted order, and some amount of peace and political stability. And there were demons like Luo Binghe who begrudgingly had to take all these into account too, because Shizun was a human and liked other humans and someone had to keep the demon fights from spreading.
A Demon Emperor wasn’t even necessary if you didn’t take the safety of humans into account!
That is all to say, if Luo Binghe had any say in it, he would not be doing his paperwork in the Demon Realm.
He could be on Shizun’s lap while Shizun got his rote complaints in and do the paperwork while Shizun dozed in the afternoons. But when the accursed Shang Qinghua convinced Shizun into speaking for him, and Shizun had said very seriously, Binghe, if you don’t show your face around the Palace outside official meetings, and the demons lose respect for you, Binghe—and here Shizun’s face had turned the slightest bit rosy—you would have to spend more time settling riots. Away from… this master.
He had no choice but to agree.
“My King! You’re falling asleep!” A pest squeaked from the other low-table.
Luo Binghe lifted a serene eye to Mobei-Jun and his rat.
“Mobei,” said Luo Binghe.
Shang Qinghua paled and started shaking the demon by his grand fur coat.
“Junshang,” Mobei Jun said back, making no move to disappear.
It was common for Mobei Jun to drag his little pet around to court. Having a traitorous human spy in court could have been a source of intrigue, he supposed. Mobei Jun's eccentric courtship wasn't all that uninteresting either.
Luo Binghe hadn’t known that this would be true vice versa as well. Why was Mobei Jun here?
Now. “You keep me away from my Shizun, and you dare enjoy yourselves?” was what Luo wanted to roar. But he of course had practice keeping his cool (with anyone that did not answer to Shen Qingqiu).
He was not, however, above terrorizing these two about it.
“Mobei, you and—” your rat—”Shang-shishu dare lay around while this Lord does his work?” Luo Binghe demanded. “Have you nowhere to be?”
“Yes, Junshang,” said Mobei Jun simply. Luo Binghe’s eye twitched.
“Then leave!” he snapped.
Movie Jun dusted himself, and bent down to haul Shang Qinghua up like a sack of potatoes.
“Leave him!” Mobei Jun turned around. “Are you insinuating that I do his work alone?”
“No,” Mobei Jun said. He sat down.
Luo Binghe closed his eyes and smiled. Now he could leave this place and they would write it off as a case of spite.
“Junshang, if I may,” Shang Qinghua said rather shrewdly, “What if my King collects Shen-shixiong from Qing Jing for a short respite? He is familiar with Cang Qiong’s teleportation wards, so it shouldn’t be much trouble.”
“Does Peak Lord Shang take this lord for a fool? Would he not have retrieved Shizun himself if that was an option? Shizun is busy,” Luo Binghe sniffed.
Shang Qinghua immediately betrayed his shixiong without batting an eye. “Ah, actually, he’s handed in all the paperwork he needed to—” or Ming Fan did, he heard the man mumble, “All he needs to do now is a brief foraging mission from Qian Ciao, but I’m sure it’s something he can easily take care of later! You know how Shen-shixiong is, getting excited about all those plants haha!”
“You insult Shizun’s interests?” Luo Binghe glared, although it was perfunctory.
“N-No!” Shang Qinghua shrank back.
“But,” Luo Binghe continued, “If you’re right, it’s truly fortuitous.” At the mere notion of Shizun’s company his mood brightened. “Mobei, bring me Shizun, please. Gently.”
Mobei Jun was nowhere to be seen. It was quite possible he had disappeared the moment the rat proposed his ideas.
Luo Binghe sighed, setting his paperwork down. With vassals like this, it was truly curious how this realm ran so smoothly.
With considerably more cheer, he imagined Shizun’s arrival. If Shen Qingqiu was here, Luo Binghe’s productivity would surely rise. Then he could escape his befuddling retainer and his annoying Peak Lord’s company. If Shizun was here…
“Shang Qinghua!” Luo Binghe said tersely, “Where is Shizun?”
“Junshang!” Shang Qinghua wailed, “How would this one know? My King isn’t responding either!”
“Has it not been a quarter of a shichen already? Have they developed a friendship and gone to the forests to harvest new bodies?”
Shang Qinghua recognized the slight for what it was and winced. He poked at one of the charms hanging from his belt–an orb of dark stone—and pushed and prodded at it before giving up.
He frowned at the thing, before slowly facing Luo Binghe.
“Either my king is so busy he can’t channel qi into this,” Shang Qinghua said, “Or he has none. I can’t find him, Junshang.”
Luo Binghe tensed, leaping out of his place. Without a word, he took long strides to the window facing east, and unsheathed his sword by the hilt. Shizun had gotten kidnapped enough times, or gotten caught up in the most ridiculous situations that put his cultivation in danger in the past for Luo Binghe to settle into a focused state of mind, but this did not make his heart beat any slower.
Quickly mounting his sword, Luo Binghe guided it to Cang Qiong mountains.
When he looked back, he found the pest following him. Shang Qinghua rode the sword like he was on the look-out for safe places to land if he did have to jump in case of an emergency. He was an extremely pathetic cultivator.
“I won’t be trouble, Junshang, haha,” Shang Qinghua said when he caught Luo Binghe looking, “This could just be Liu-shidi waging war on my king or something. There’s no need to panic, he could just be short on qi!”
Liu Qingge did do that a lot to every demon. Bothersome man.
They were panicking.
“Ookay, they aren’t here.” Shang Qinghua said, smiling tightly. They had went through every room of Shen Qingqiu’s bamboo house (very less), the whole of Qing Jing Peak (considerably more) and even Bai Zhan Peak (also a large area) whose Liu-shidi, despite all grousing, found Luo Binghe’s existence surprisingly commonplace.
(“Where is Shen Qingqiu?”
“How sad. Shishu hasn’t even seen Shizun in a while, has he?”
Liu Qingge charged with a cry of Foul demon! and Shang Qinghua hightailed out of there, expecting Luo Binghe to follow him sometime soon. Some stress relief was only good.)
“Junshang,” Shang Qinghua said to a somewhat beaten up Demon Lord. “How about staying at Qing Jing Peak while I ask around the rest of the sect? Liu-shidi is, ah, you know. Just loud. But the rest of the Peak Lords get so uneasy about these things. Better I go without making any fuss.”
Luo Binghe, knowing fully well how Shen Qingqiu’s apparent disappearance would be taken by the Sect Leader acquiesced. He did make threatening noises in Shang Qinghua’s direction, but there was acquiesce.
Shang Qinghua did not find anything of value, however. Qi Qingqi claimed to have seen him in the morning when he left to coo over new plants. “And you’re looking for him because he forgot about the quarter-year reports?” she stumbled. “Ha, how scandalous!”
Qi-shimei, so you haven’t done it yet… Shang Qinghua nodded.
The only secrets he uncovered were news of this fashion. Wei Qingwei blatantly tried to bribe him with a new sword, but Shang Qinghua hurried out. It was truly different to be so popular after resigning just once. Respect for An Ding peak had reached new heights.
With a heavy heart, Shang Qinghua set back to the bamboo house on Qing Jing Peak. He didn’t bother announcing his arrival. Surely, his son would be sharp enough to sense his qi from a hundred cun away?
Still. Opening the door very slowly, he found Luo Binghe with a broom in one hand, looking murderous. In his other hand was a daruma of Mobei Jun.
“My King??I” shrieked Shang Qinghua. He scrambled over to the protagonist and snatched the daruma from his hands. Luo Binghe let go of it easily. “What is this!! There’s no other news of Shen-shixiong either, they shouldn’t have disappeared like that! Where do you even go whe—”
“Cease your mumbling!” the protagonist snapped. “How is this your king? Can you confirm if someone has trapped him in this form?”
“I,I, No,” Shang Qinghua stammered, “I was only. There’s no way Shen-shixiong has a daruma of my king now, is there!”
“I know, “ Luo Binghe said darkly. He produced a daruma of equal roundness from his sleeves, this time in green and white. Shang Qinghua immediately feared for his life.
“Cu-Shen-shixiong!”
“Then why can’t we feel a single speck of qi? How can any talisman do this short of draining qi altogether?”
It was true! How was this possible! Shang Qinghua’s cultivation setting wasn’t that he had ever made a plant that could block both demonic and spiritual qi circulation. If both were hindered, how would Luo Binghe progress? The talismans at work were clearly high grade then, or they’d anticipated to be trapping both a demon and a highly accomplished cultivator. But how is this poor author to know, Protagonist!! I’m not your anti-fan Shizun, able to quote any passage on a whim!!
“Daruma… daruma… wife…Daru—Wait!” cried Shang Qinghua, “It’s the crystal cave!”
“Explain!” Luo Binghe commanded.
“Er, I don’t know… was it blooming? Breathing…? A crystal cave. They have a plant used to make a rare artifact that transports the users into a plane, separating them from their body! The users get stuck there until the artifact is used to reverse it.”
Shang Qinghua was extremely pleased with himself. He looked up to see that Luo Binghe decidedly was not.
“Now how do we get Shizun back?”
“C-Calm down, Junshang!” Ugh, there was absolutely no respect for him around here! The protagonist lost all his green tea bitch chill when Cucumber-bro was involved. “My king is lost too! We just need to find the artifact—or—make a new one ourselves to access the plane!”
“Alright,” Luo Binghe turned back in a swish of robes. Shang Qinghua made a face at him, then immediately cowered appropriately when he looked. “Lead the way.”
He said this with such gritted teeth that Shang Qinghua had the explicable urge to laugh. This protagonist really hated relying on other people.