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As soon as he entered the kitchen, Steve could just tell that something was wrong. Call it...paternal instinct. His eyes fell on Tony, who was sitting alone at the table, and he watched him quietly for a moment. He observed the way Tony had one hand on the table, fiddling with the end of his sleeve, and had his other hand tangled in his dark hair. Trying to self-soothe in the most subtle way he could.
Steve walked from the doorway up to where Tony was sitting, allowing his footsteps to make noise so Tony would hear him coming, because if he was aware that Steve was in the room he didn’t show it. Steve gently put his hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Hey,” he said in a soft voice, and Tony leaned into his touch. “What’s going on? You’re up here all by yourself, you must be lonely.” Tony shrugged, just the tiniest movement that was almost unnoticeable. Steve knelt down so he was at Tony’s eye level. He chose his next words carefully and maintained his gentle tone. “Tony, how old are you right now?” Again, Tony shrugged and avoided making eye-contact. Ever-so-carefully, Steve ran his fingers down Tony’s cheek and under his chin, lifting his head and looking into his brown eyes. “Tony?”
Tony looked back at him as tears began welling up in his eyes. A small whine escaped his throat and he held his arms out to Steve. Steve immediately pulled Tony into him and began rubbing little circles into his back. He felt his shirt dampen when Tony nuzzled his face into his shoulder and a few tears found their way out.
Steve shushed him before he could start really crying. “Tony, sweetie, it’s okay.” He ran his fingers through Tony’s hair. “Baby, I promise I’m not mad, but can I ask why you didn’t come find me or ask JARVIS to get me?” Tony didn’t answer, because he didn’t really know why he didn’t get Steve. He knew that Steve didn’t like him to be by himself when he was little, but he didn’t want to be a bother, and he thought he could handle himself, or will his headspace away to the back of his mind. Steve sighed and hugged Tony a bit tighter to let him know that it was alright.
Steve stood up carefully, holding Tony close to his chest. Tony had his arms around Steve’s neck and his legs wrapped around his waist.
“Do you wanna go lay down for a while?” Steve felt Tony nod against the side of his neck. He carried him into the elevator and they rode in comfortable silence up to Steve’s floor. Steve figured that the rest of the team was either out or preoccupied in other parts of the tower, because if any of them had come across Tony in the communal kitchen they would’ve let him know right away. They were all capable (and willing) to comfort and take care of Tony, but Steve was his main caregiver. Steve couldn’t be certain, but he was pretty sure that Tony had been in the kitchen for one reason or another when he found himself drifting into his headspace. The way Tony explained it once when he was big, his little headspace could sometimes creep up on him out of nowhere.
When the elevator reached Steve’s floor, the doors quietly slid open and they stepped out. The lights were dimmed, and Steve didn’t bother turning them up because he could tell by the feeling of Tony growing heavier in his arms that he was more asleep than awake. Steve carried him through the living room and into the bedroom. He carefully laid Tony down on the bed and settled him into the middle of the king-sized mattress. Steve climbed in next to him and pulled the covers up over both of them. Right away, Tony was cuddled up at his side with his head on Steve’s chest. Steve couldn’t see Tony’s face from where he was lying, but the soft smacking sounds he was making told him that Tony had slipped his thumb into his mouth and was sucking away contently. Normally Steve would’ve tried to find one of Tony’s pacifiers that were always scattered throughout the tower, because who knew when the last time Tony had washed his hands was, but Tony was already sleeping peacefully and Steve didn’t have the heart to wake a napping baby.
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Before he even realized that he’d fallen asleep, Steve had been woken up by the sound of sniffling and a warm wet spot on the side of his thigh. The second his sleep-heavy mind registered that Tony was crying, he sat up and turned to his baby. Tony was still sucking his thumb, though harder now, anxiously, and he had curled in on himself. His eyes were squeezed shut like he was trying to stop the tears from coming out and he was burying his face in a pillow.
Steve reached out slowly and tousled Tony’s hair. Tony tensed for a second and then melted under the touch, and his tears streamed down his cheeks. Steve spoke softly, “Tony, it’s okay. You’re alright, I promise.” Tony sniffled and nuzzled himself as close to Steve as he could get. “That’s daddy’s fault, huh? I should’ve gotten you changed before we laid down. I guess I was being silly and didn’t think about that.” Steve said with a hint of light-hearted laughter in his voice to try to convince Tony that he’d done nothing wrong. Tony had that problem quite often when he was in his headspace. Accidents happened quite often while he was a baby, and Steve liked to have Tony in a diaper at all times when he was little. Steve carefully gathered Tony in his arms and got up out of bed. “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay baby?” Steve carried Tony into the bathroom that was connected to the bedroom. “JARVIS, what time is it?”
“It is four twenty-seven. You and young Sir were asleep for about forty-five minutes.” The AI responded.
Steve set Tony down on the closed toilet, but when he went to go to fill the bathtub he found that Tony did not want to let go of the hem of his shirt.
“Come on Tony, I have to run you a bath so you can get nice and clean.” Steve said. Tony shook his head and looked up at him with his big brown eyes. Steve sighed and bent to give Tony a kiss on the forehead. “Alright, no bath then. But we still gotta get you clean, baby.”
Steve settled for washing Tony from his belly to his legs with a wet, soapy washcloth. He helped Tony strip down, all the while Tony kept a hold of his shirt. He dropped Tony’s soiled clothing in a pile on the floor and got him washed and patted dry with a soft towel. Steve decided it would be best to get Tony completely taken care of before he cleaned himself up, even though the damp spot on his leg was cold and uncomfortable. He took a diaper and a container of power out from the supply he kept under the bathroom sink and made quick work of getting Tony into the diaper.
He carried Tony back into the bedroom, not putting him down while he dug through the dresser drawers for something for him to wear. Steve found a nice fleecy light blue onesie and he helped Tony get his arms and legs in. He zipped the front of it up up up until he reached the top and then he gave Tony’s nose a little poke, making the baby smile.
Steve had Tony sit criss-cross on the edge of the bed. “Wait right here while I go get cleaned up, okay sweetie?” Steve took a pair of boxers and sweatpants into the bathroom with him, and left the door open so Tony could still see him.
Tony sat quietly and waited, slipping his thumb into his mouth. Steve came back into the room with the towels and dirty clothes. He had Tony move off the bed while he bundled the clothing and towels up in the soiled sheets and blankets and tossed them all into the laundry, to be worried about later. Steve picked Tony up and Tony rested his head on Steve’s shoulder.
“There we go, isn’t that so much better?” Steve asked, hugging his baby tightly.
Tony nodded and softly, around his thumb, asked, “Bear?” Steve looked around the bedroom but didn’t see the bear anywhere. Before he had a chance to think about where it could’ve gotten to, JARVIS spoke up.
“Captain Rogers, if I may- Young Sir’s teddy bear is in the living room on the communal floor.”
“Thank you, JARVIS.” Steve said, remembering that the last time Tony had been little, he’d had his bear with him while he was taking a nap in the living room, and it must’ve gotten left there.
Steve carried Tony out of the bedroom into his personal living room. Steve grabbed a red pacifier off of the coffee table as he walked past and coaxed Tony into swapping his thumb out for the paci during the elevator ride down to the communal floor. It wasn’t hard for Tony to be convinced that he needed both of his hands to play with his bear, and he couldn’t do that if he was sucking his thumb. Steve liked Tony’s pacifiers almost as much as Tony did. Not only were they nice because they kept Tony’s hands away from his mouth, but there was something Steve found comforting about watching the pacifier bobbing rhythmically while Tony sucked on it and knowing that Tony was calm and content.
The elevator doors opened to the communal living room. Natasha and Clint were sitting on the couch watching television, and they both turned to look when they heard the elevator. Steve stepped out and walked up to the couch, shifting Tony’s weight over to one hip. “Hey, have you guys seen Tony’s bear?” They scanned the living room, and then Natasha checked under the coffee table where they kept spare blankets. She reached under and pulled out the soft off-white bear in question. She smiled warmly as she offered the bear to Tony. Tony gave a small smile back from behind his pacifier and he took it from her. He held it in the crook of his arm and cuddled it up to his face. “Would you watch him for me for a minute? I’m gonna fix him a bottle.”
Clint scooted over and patted the spot on the couch between him and Natasha. “Of course.” He said. Steve thanked them and sat Tony down on the couch. He planted a kiss on the top of his head and left for the kitchen. Clint adjusted himself so that he was sitting facing Tony and he smiled. “Hey kiddo.”
Tony mumbled a ‘hi’ around his pacifier and hugged his teddy bear to his chest tightly. He liked Clint and Natasha, they were always very good with him when he was in his headspace, but he couldn’t help but feel just a little shy around them.
“I can’t hear what you’re saying with that in your mouth, silly boy.” Clint teased lightly and he pulled the pacifier from between Tony’s lips.
“Paci…” Tony whimpered quietly and drew his knees up closer to his body.
“Clint,” Natasha said in a warning tone. She held her hand up in a manner that read as a ‘what the hell?’ and she shook her head. “Give it back.”
Clint ducked his head sheepishly and held the pacifier out to Tony. Tony eyed it for a second, then opened his mouth to take it. Clint pressed the pacifier to Tony’s lips and then ruffled his hair. “Sorry kid, I was just playing.”
Natasha rubbed Tony’s shoulder. “Don’t mind Clint, he’s just a silly goose. Totally harmless.” Tony nodded, not making eye contact with either of them, instead just staring down at his bear. “I’ll tell you a secret,” Natasha said, and Tony looked at her curiously. “I’ll bet you that Clint’s just jealous because he doesn’t have a paci as nice as yours.” She winked, and Tony smiled. Clint made a face at her and she smirked when Tony shifted so he was sitting just a little bit closer to her. Natasha combed her fingers through Tony’s hair and he sighed contently, sucking on his pacifier.
Steve walked back into the living room holding a bottle and he stood in front of the couch. Tony held his arms up, reaching for his daddy. Steve scooped him up and sat at the end of the end of the couch, using the armrest to help support Tony. Steve gently pulled the pacifier out of Tony’s mouth and set it on the end table and replaced it with the bottle. The milk in the bottle was warm and it made Tony feel so nice inside that he forgot about the distress he’d been in from Clint’s teasing. If Tony were an adult, he would’ve had a snarky comeback to whatever Clint could say to him. But he wasn’t an adult, he was the farthest thing from it in his headspace. There was a small part of him, way in the back of Tony’s mind, that told him that Clint was joking around with him and not being mean by taking his pacifier. When he was a baby, he wasn’t as good about figuring that kind of stuff out, things were more black and white and he couldn’t really focus on a grey-area: something was good or it was bad, someone was nice or someone was mean. Jokes tended to go over his head.
Steve shifted Tony in his lap, moving just enough that Tony was pulled from his thoughts. He looked up at Steve, then at the bottle Steve was holding to his lips and he saw that he’d already finished half of the milk. He considered drinking the rest of it much slower because he didn’t want to be done so soon. Being fed his bottle by Steve was one of his most favorite things. The whole experience made him feel so safe and comfortable and he wished that Steve could just cradle him like that all the time.
As Tony worked the bottle, he found himself growing sleepier, and he had to take a break from drinking to yawn and rub at his tired eyes. He glanced to the other end of the couch and saw that Clint and Natasha were still there, watching TV again. He’d almost forgotten that they were in the room.
“Hey baby,” Steve cooed and held the bottle off to the side. “You’re getting sleepy, huh? I know, you didn’t get to nap as long as you wanted to.”
No, he didn’t, but the warm milk and the way Steve was rubbing his back was almost a guarantee that Tony would be finishing that nap sooner rather than later. Steve held the bottle back to Tony’s lips, offering it to him, and Tony took it without any hesitation. He drank and drank until there were only a few drops of milk left that just didn’t want to come out. Steve whisked the empty bottle away and adjusted Tony so that he was sitting up, chest-to-chest with him and his head was on Steve’s shoulder. Steve patted and rubbed his back until he burped. It was small and quiet, but Steve thought it was good enough and he let Tony make himself comfortable, curling up on his lap and leaning his head on his chest. Tony began drifting off as he listened to the thumping of Steve’s heart.
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When Tony woke up, the lights were dim and he could hear voices and laughter coming from the dining room, but he was still sleepy and everything looked and sounded a bit fuzzy. He looked down at himself and saw that his bear had been tucked under his arms and someone had draped a soft blanket over him while he napped. He sat up and yawned so wide, and his pacifier that he didn’t remember falling asleep with fell out of his mouth, landing in his lap. He rubbed his eyes and picked up the pacifier, holding the ring tightly with one finger, and gathered his bear in his arms. Tony didn’t really like walking around when he was in his headspace but right now he just wanted to find his daddy, so if he had to walk, he would. Well, it was more of a toddling-waddle than a walk with the way his diaper made him a bit bow-legged. And it definitely didn’t help that the diaper squished with every step he took. Tony made his way to the open doorway that separated the living room from the dining room, where the grownups were all sitting at the table and talking over empty dinner plates.
“Daddy?” At once, the conversations came to a halt and everyone turned to look at Tony.
Steve smiled. “Hey baby, whatcha doing?”
“Want you,” Tony said shyly, ducking his head.
Steve got up from his chair and walked over to Tony. He picked his baby up, kissing his forehead. “Well, honey, I'm right here. Did you have a nice nap?” Tony nod-nod-nodded and put his legs around Steve’s waist. Steve supported him with a hand on his bottom. “I think someone needs a change, huh?”
Tony nodded again. “Wet.” He said quietly, and he pushed the pacifier in his hand back into his mouth. He didn’t feel much like talking, he just wanted his daddy to get him out of his wet diaper and into a nice dry one, and then maybe they could cuddle a bit. Tony thought that sounded like the best idea ever.
“Come on, sweetie, let’s get you taken care of.” Steve kissed the tip of his nose, holding his baby close.