Chapter Text
Todd Anderson felt like an outsider.
At the dinner table, his father was deep in conversation with their guest, talking about business and profits, while his mother sat beside him, smiling politely, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She was there, but it felt more like a presence than a person. Across from his father, his older brother, Jeffrey, was trapped in a boring exchange with Uncle Jerry, who was grumbling about his kids and his ex-wife. The rest of the Andersons were scattered around, engaged in small talk that seemed more like a chore than real conversation.
Todd just sat there, feeling like he was on the outside looking in.
He sprinkled more salt onto his tasteless, overpriced dinner, clinging to the hope that it might somehow improve the flavor. But deep down, he knew it was a losing battle.
"Sit up straight, Todd," his mother's sharp voice cut through the evening noise, a reminder as piercing as ever.
Todd sighed, straightening his posture, aware that trying to meet her expectations was just another futile effort. Once she was satisfied, her attention shifted elsewhere, leaving him to fade back into the background.
As he toyed with his food, his thoughts drifted to the well-worn copy of Anna Karenina that Mr. Keating had gifted him for his birthday. The book's first line echoed in his thoughts: "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." What made them all alike? He couldn’t help but wonder why happiness seemed so predictable, and where exactly his own family had taken a wrong turn. It seemed the more they tried to appear happy, the further they strayed from it.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Haggins."
Tired of Uncle Jerry's endless complaints, his brother smoothly slid into the conversation with their guest, Mr. Haggins, giving Todd a much-needed break. As Todd chewed on the soggy, bland meatballs, he watched Jeffrey greet their guest with his usual effortless charm. It was just another example of how naturally Jeffrey seemed to fit in.
Mr. Haggins, a burly man with a round face and gray hair, had been a close friend and investor in Todd's grandfather's business for years. Despite his long-standing role in the family's financial matters, this was Todd's first time meeting him.
"You must be Jeffrey," Mr. Haggins said, his voice friendly yet reserved. "Your father always has great things to say about you. It feels like I’ve been hearing about your achievements from a distance."
Todd stared at his meatball, pushing it around his plate with disinterest. The evening seemed to drag on forever, and he entertained the idea of switching to eating with his left hand just for a change. The thought made him chuckle quietly to himself, reminding him of fun times with his friends at Welton Academy and silently counting down the minutes until he could be with them again.
"And who might this young man be?"
Todd snapped to attention, his heart skipping a beat as he realized Mr. Haggins was talking to him. "Oh, I'm—uh, I—" he stumbled over his words, trying to piece together a coherent response.
Before he could gather his thoughts, his father chimed in smoothly, "This is our youngest, Todd." Todd offered a timid smile and a nod, feeling a blush creep up his cheeks under Mr. Haggins's scrutinizing gaze. He caught a brief flicker of surprise on Mr. Haggins's face but tried not to let it bother him. "Todd's at Welton Academy, the same school Jeffrey attended. It's a fantastic place, Garret. I'm sure it'll be a great fit for your son next year."
Mr. Haggins's curiosity was evident as he tilted his head slightly. "So, is Welton still living up to its reputation, young man?" he asked, his gaze fixed on Todd.
He gave a small, thoughtful nod and replied, "I believe so, sir."
Mr. Haggins nodded back, then shifted his focus to Todd's uncle Jay, the youngest of Todd's father's siblings. Although Mr. Haggins hadn't spent much time with the younger Andersons due to his frequent travels, he'd witnessed Todd's father and uncles grow from boys into men over the years.
A soft, unexpected whisper broke through his thoughts, pulling him away from the clock on the wall. "Todd," his cousin Sherri called gently, drawing his gaze to meet hers.
He remembered the hours they'd spent together as children, lost in the imaginary worlds of dolls and tea parties—activities he'd joined more out of obligation than enjoyment. But looking at Sherri now, he couldn't help but notice how much she had changed. She looked different now—grown up, poised, with her curls falling perfectly around her face and a touch of makeup that gave her an air of elegance and charm. It was clear that they weren't childen anymore.
Todd's confusion grew as Sherri came closer. Her smile was genuine and warm, but her eyes held a glimmer of something playful.
"You know, Welton's standards are pretty demanding," she said, her tone light and teasing. "But maybe a little diversion could be just what you need."
Before Todd could fully grasp what she was saying, Sherri added, "A friend of mine saw our family photo and is really intrigued by you. She's asked me to find out if you'd be interested in going on a date with her."
Todd's mouth moved up and down like a fish struggling to breathe as he tried to find the right words. He was at a complete loss, caught between wanting to decline Sherri's unexpected offer and not wanting to sound rude. He searched for a way to turn her down politely, but all he could think was that he'd rather face a root canal than go on a date with her friend.
"Well, would you look at that, Todd," Jeffrey said with a playful whistle, catching Todd off guard. Todd's head snapped up, his cheeks flushing a deep red as he met the mischievous glint in his brother's eyes. "You’re turning heads without even trying. Guess you're living up to the Anderson reputation, huh?"
Todd quickly shook his head, feeling the warmth creeping up his neck. "No, I’m really not—"
Sherri jumped in, her voice tinged with a teasing curiosity. "So, Todd, just how much experience do you have with kissing?" Her eyes twinkled, and her smile hinted at someone eager for juicy details. She leaned in closer, and Todd felt his face grow even hotter under her gaze. "Not saying my friend's anything too wild, but she's definitely the kind who wouldn't mind a kiss on the first date."
Jeff leaned back with a knowing smile, casting a sideways glance at Todd. "You know," he started, a hint of nostalgia in his voice, "I had my first kiss with a girl from Henley Hall when I was thirteen." There was a spark in his eyes, like he was sharing a secret only the Welton students would understand. Todd's puzzled look showed he had never even talked to anyone from Henley Hall, much less shared a kiss. Jeffrey's grin widened. "But honestly, the girls from Ridgeway High? They’re the most fun."
Sherri's face tightened with a flicker of annoyance at Jeffrey's comments, her eyes narrowing slightly.
"Henley Hall girls can be fun too," she said, her face brightening as she turned her attention back to Todd with a warm, encouraging smile. "So, what do you think, Todd? Are you up for it?"
Todd's eyes remained fixed on Sherri, a swirl of reluctance and discomfort swirling in his mind. The thought of going on a date with someone he wasn't truly interested in felt awkward and unsettling. But then his gaze shifted to Jeffrey, and he couldn't shake off the echo of his brother's casual comment about living up to the Anderson name. At eighteen, Todd felt a sting of embarrassment at still being unkissed, especially when Jeffrey had already made quite a name for himself in that area at Welton.
Jeffrey had always been the one who seemed to effortlessly excel in everything—whether it was academics, sports, or social status. It wasn't just that he was older; he always seemed to be ahead in almost everything. Todd had come to terms with being in his brother's shadow, accepting his role as the one who followed rather than led. However, Mr. Keating's encouragement about making one's own path sparked a small, rebellious fire in Todd. For once, he wanted to stand on equal footing with Jeffrey, even if just in one small way.
With a resigned sigh, Todd finally spoke up, "I guess I don't mind kissing on the first date."
As Todd wandered through the shadowy hallways of Welton, the hour growing late and lights-out looming nearer, he felt an intense urge to let out a scream of frustration.
The silence around him only seemed to magnify his worries, his anxiety about the upcoming date and his lack of experience with romance weighing heavily on him. The whole idea of diving into this unfamiliar territory filled him with dread, especially since his grasp of love and affection was so limited.
He finally pushed open the door to his bedroom and saw the soft light of a lamp casting a warm glow over Neil's desk. Neil was deeply engrossed in a book, but when he looked up and saw Todd, his face broke into a bright, welcoming smile.
"How'd it go?" his roommate asked, setting the book aside and focusing all his attention on Todd. But as he noticed Todd's downcast expression, his smile faded into a look of worry.
Todd trudged over to his bed, flopped down, and buried his face in the pillow with a weary sigh.
"It was awful," his voice came out muffled and heavy through the mattress.
Neil, feeling the weight of Todd's distress, turned his chair to face him. His brown eyes, filled with warmth and understanding, spoke volumes more than words ever could. "Is it about your parents again?" he asked softly, his voice carrying a genuine concern.
"Sort of, but not really," Todd mumbled, his eyes tightly shut as if trying to erase the evening from his mind. He let out another long, tired sigh, as though it could carry away all his grievance, and squished his cheek against his pillow to face Neil. "The night turned out to be just as dull and bothersome as I feared. Then, out of nowhere, my cousin asked if I'd be okay with kissing on a first date if I went out with a friend of hers. Jeffrey was there too, bragging about how he'd kissed half the people at Henley Hall and Ridgeway High. And before I knew it, I'd somehow agreed to this ridiculous date."
Neil's eyes widened slightly as he absorbed Todd's words, offering a quiet, "Oh."
"Yeah, oh," Todd repeated wearily, his voice flat.
The room grew heavy with a thick silence, almost like a damp blanket that pressed against everything and everyone. Startled by how quiet it had become, Todd looked over at Neil. Neil was focused on the floor, his face etched with worry and deep thought. He bit his lips, a sign of the storm of feelings and thoughts swirling inside him. The furrows on his brow and the faraway look in his eyes hinted at a deeper unease that went beyond just the awkwardness of their current conversation.
After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Neil finally spoke, his voice breaking through the quiet. He looked up, meeting Todd's eyes with a gaze that was both sensitive and hesitant. "So," Neil began, his voice trailing off as he searched Todd's face for any sign of a decision. His fingers were busy with the hem of his shirt, twisting and turning it as if it held all the answers. "Are you going?"
Todd's eyes followed the restless movements of Neil's hands, which seemed almost frantic. He had seen Neil fidget before, but this time, it felt different—more intense. It made Todd uneasy, unable to grasp what was causing Neil's anguish.
He sat up in bed, clutching the pillow to his chest as if it could offer some comfort or clarity. "I don't know, maybe," he said slowly, his eyes wandering and a faint blush coloring his cheeks. "It feels like there's this expectation, like I’m supposed to do something. But the thought of her thinking I'd kiss her on the first date makes me nervous. I told my cousin I was okay with it, but now I'm really second-guessing myself."
Neil let out a small, hesitant laugh and asked, "Why?"
Todd flung the pillow onto the bed with a heavy sigh, then covered his face with his hands. The groan he made was filled with regret and frustration over the decisions he'd been wrestling with all day. "Well, for starters, I don't even really know this girl," he said, his voice muffled and distant. "And also, I…"
Neil stayed silent, his calm presence a gentle nudge for Todd to keep going.
Todd tried to keep his composure, his shoulders lifting and falling in a shrug that did little to hide his unease. "It's nothing," he mumbled, more to himself than to Neil. He stared down at the wooden floor, avoiding his roommates's gaze. "It's just… I’ve never kissed anyone before."
Despite reading about it and seeing it in movies, those portrayals never quite moved him, but his curiosity lingered. As a child, he had been unfamiliar with warm hugs or affectionate gestures. His parents had a relationship that felt distant, almost mechanical. Their interactions were courteous but lacked the warmth and closeness that seemed to come so naturally to others. He often wondered if they ever shared gentle moments when no one was around.
On the other hand, his older brother Jeffrey seemed to have an effortless charm. Girls were drawn to him, and despite their mother's insistence that Todd tag along on Jeffrey's summer dates, he never saw the romantic gestures he had hoped to. All Todd had were brief glimpses of romance in films, books, and the occasional couple holding hands in the park.
"Seriously? Not even a tiny peck?" Neil asked with a kind smile, his voice warm and full of sincere interest. It was one of the things Todd appreciated most about Neil Perry—his ability to ask questions without judgment.
Todd shook his head, feeling a flush of embarrassment as he struggled to find the right words. Even though Neil's approach was warm and nonjudgmental, Todd couldn't shake the suspicion that maybe he had revealed too much to his roommate.
Noticing Todd's discomfort, Neil quickly moved to reassure him. "Hey, it's totally fine," he said soothingly. "There's no rush. You don't need to worry about having your first kiss until you're ready. If you're not feeling it with this girl, don't force it. You should never feel pressured to do something just because you think you have to."
Neil's words were meant to simplify things, but for Todd, the issue was far from straightforward.
Todd's mind was a tangled mess, questions spiraling endlessly and feeding off each other. He couldn't shake the nagging worry that the girl now showing interest in him might be drawn more to a reflection of his older brother's looks rather than seeing him for who he really was. The thought of potentially going out with her weighed heavily on him. He found himself torn, unsure if he was ready to dive into something he wasn't fully committed to.
The fear of misleading her ate away at him. He fretted that his urge to live up to the Anderson family name might be distorting his judgment. Stuck between the pressure to conform to a role that didn’t feel right and the anxiety of letting down someone who might truly have feelings for him, Todd felt ensnared, unable to find a way forward.
"Neil," Todd said, his gaze fixed on the ground, shoulders sagging as if weighed down by his own frustration. "I might have accidentally led my brother and cousin to think I've kissed someone before. I don’t even know why I said that," he confessed, his voice tinged with exasperation. "But if they ever find out that I didn't go through with it, I'd be so humiliated that I'd want to stay away from Jeffrey forever. Just the thought makes me want to vanish."
Neil took a deep breath, his hand moving to the back of his neck as he thought over Todd's words. His expression turned serious. "You know," he said slowly, "I've had to fake kisses on stage more times than I can count. It's all about making it look real, but it doesn't mean it's more than just acting."
"What do you mean?" Todd leaned in, his pulse quickening as he tried to understand what Neil was getting at.
Neil tilted his head, a playful sparkle in his eye as he spoke. "What I'm saying," he said with a teasing lilt, almost too relaxed for the seriousness of the topic, "is that practice is the best way to get comfortable with something. If you're really eager to get that first kiss out of the way, I'd be more than happy to help."
Todd's response was immediate—he started coughing uncontrollably, clutching his chest as if something had suddenly caught fire.
"W-wait, are you serious?" Todd's voice wobbled, and he winced at the surprise in his own tone.
"Absolutely," Neil said, his eyes lighting up with the kind of excitement that was always infectious. There was a familiar spark in his voice, the one that came alive whenever a new idea took hold of him. With a broad, reassuring grin, he pushed his chair back and knelt down in front of Todd. His presence was warm and comforting, like a hug wrapped in a smile and a kind look. "We're best friends, remember? It doesn’t have to be anything more than trying something new together. If it doesn’t work out, that's okay. It’s just me, the person you trust most."
Todd managed a smile, his nerves showing through with a shaky laugh. "I'm not sure, Neil. This feels a little… weird," he admitted, his thoughts swirling with worries about what others—his parents, Jeffrey, or anyone who might not be okay with two boys sharing a kiss—might think. He had faced disapproval before and wasn't eager for more.
"Todd, it'll only be weird if we let it be. Let's just think of it as another rehearsal," Neil suggested, his tone persistent and encouraging.
This was their shared understanding, a language they both knew well. Neil would come home with new scripts, excited to explore different characters or refine old ones, and Todd would be right there with him, ready to step into whatever role Neil needed. Their practice sessions were more than just routine; they were a dance of mutual support. If they decided it wouldn't be weird, then it wouldn't be.
“Okay,” Todd agreed at last, his voice unwavering but soft as he nervously bit his lower lip.
Neil's face softened into a comforting smile and he settled down next to Todd on the bed, their knees lightly touching. The mattress sank slightly under their combined weight, making Todd's already jittery nerves feel even more on edge. His heart seemed to leap from his chest as he tried to hold Neil's steady gaze, feeling like he was under a spotlight—vulnerable and exposed, yet desperate to stay composed.
Todd swallowed hard, his voice shaking as he asked, "What should I do?"
"Just breathe for now," Neil said softly as he moved closer, his smile a calming presence in the quiet room. "Take a deep breath and let yourself relax." Even with Neil's soothing tone, Todd couldn't ignore the whirl of emotions stirring inside him—comfort mingling with a flutter of nervous excitement. The warmth from Neil was almost palpable, making Todd's heart race a little faster. "Now, close your eyes," Neil instructed, his voice tender yet firm.
Todd nodded, a knot of expectancy tightening in his throat as he braced himself for what was to come. He shut his eyes, holding his breath as if waiting for the world to shift around him. The silence stretched on, thick and almost tangible, and Todd nearly opened his eyes to check if Neil was still there. But before he could give in to the urge, a soft brush of Neil's lips caressed his cheek.
The kiss sent a shiver down his spine, leaving his skin tingling with the warmth of Neil's touch. His lips were cool, a gentle contrast to the heat that now spread across Todd's face. It was a fleeting moment, but one that left Todd yearning for more. As Neil slowly pulled away, Todd kept his eyes closed, sensing Neil's steadfast gaze fixed on him. The air between them was charged with unspoken intent, as if Neil was committed to seeing this moment through to its end.
Todd wasn't ready for the next kiss to be so light, falling softly on his forehead. It was such a tender and surprising touch that it threw him off balance for a second. He had braced himself for something stronger, more passionate, but this gentle moment left him lingering in its warmth. When Neil's lips grazed his eyelid, a subtle thrill spread across Todd's face, and before he could stop it, a quiet laugh bubbled up, making him break into an unplanned smile.
Neil leaned back slightly, his voice a soft whisper. "Are you ticklish?" he asked, a playful edge dancing on his lips.
Todd, eyes still closed, let a small, knowing smile tug at the corners of his mouth. "Sort of," he murmured, his tone laced with quiet amusement.
Even without seeing him, Todd could sense Neil's grin, warm and tender, as he moved closer. His lips found Todd's other cheek, brushing against his skin in a slow, deliberate kiss. The room seemed to fall into a hush, as if the world itself had paused to listen to the gentle rhythm of their breathing and the faint rustle of sheets with each of Neil's movements. His kisses continued their subtle exploration, trailing along Todd's jawline, grazing the curve of his ear, before finally hovering at the corner of his mouth. Todd's anticipation grew with each touch, a quiet ache building within him, his patience wearing thin under the slow burn of Neil's touches.
"Neil, just do it," Todd's voice broke the silence, trembling with an intensity he could no longer contain. His mind raced, but he pushed the thoughts away, refusing to question the depth of his desire—he just wanted to feel it.
Neil's gaze sparkled with mischief as he broke into a teasing smile. "You do it," he replied, his tone light yet infused with challenge.
Todd's eyelids fluttered open, and for a moment, the world shrank down to just him and Neil, holding each other's gaze.
In the past, Todd would have taken this as a signal to withdraw, to retreat into the protective shell Neil had often teased him about. But not now. Not after Neil's soft, lingering kisses had kindled something new within him—a craving to feel those lips on his own, to bridge the gap between longing and reality. In this moment, Todd was just as determined as Neil, both of them bound by a shared desire that felt incomplete, waiting to be fulfilled.
"Tell me if I get it wrong," Todd murmured, his voice barely audible, shivering with agitation as he leaned closer.
He watched as Neil's eyelids fell, a subtle surrender, and Todd closed the space between them. His lips met Neil's in a tentative kiss, weak and unsure. The touch was brief—Todd pulled away almost as soon as it happened, nerves getting the best of him. His heart raced, pounding in his chest as he searched Neil's face for any sign of what he was feeling. All he found were Neil's brown eyes, now open and filled with a mixture of surprise and something else—curiosity, perhaps, or maybe just confusion.
"That was a bit quick," Neil whispered, his voice soft and warm, the words tender but still enough to make Todd's stomach twist with embarrassment. Neil didn't pull away, though. Instead, he inched even closer, the mattress dipping beneath his weight as his intent gaze held Todd's with unwavering patience. "Let's try again, but slower this time. There's no need to rush, Todd."
Todd nodded once more, though this time with an uncertainty that made his heartbeat echo like a drum in his chest. His palms were slick with sweat, revealing the anxiety that churned within him. Yet, Neil's gentle, reassuring smile was a steadying force, lending Todd the courage to give it a second chance.
He took a deep breath, letting the cool night breeze seep into his lungs, calming the chaotic state of his thoughts. With unswerving resolve, Todd began to close the gap between them. He moved slowly, each step measured, as if each inch gained was a victory.
Neil caught sight of Todd approaching him and tilted his head slightly, a silent gesture of welcome. The tension between them seemed to hum with a quiet, charged eagerness that made Todd's heart beat faster. Yet, as Todd drew near, he noticed a brief flicker in Neil's eyes—a hint of shock or maybe uncertainty. It was a subtle shift, almost too quick to catch, as if Neil had truly expected Todd to pull away rather than press forward. Perhaps Neil, too, was feeling the vibrant thrill of the moment. Still, in the dim light of their shared room, everything outside their world faded away, leaving only the magnetic pull between them.
Their kiss began softly, like a delicate question suspended in the air, searching for the right moment to deepen. Neil's lips were warm and inviting but carried a certain hesitation, as though he was waiting for Todd to set the pace. Sensing this, Todd moved closer, hoping his earnest touch would offer the reassurance Neil needed, letting him know that he was entirely at ease with all of it.
Todd watched Neil's eyes slowly close, an unspoken invitation that urged him to do the same. He wasn't bothered by the idea of kissing another boy anymore, especially not Neil, but once his own eyes were shut, a flicker of doubt crept in. His ease began to slip away as he wondered if he was doing everything correctly, if Neil was enjoying the moment. Todd wanted it to be special for Neil, yet as he focused intently on making sure Neil was happy, he found that his own enjoyment seemed to fade into the background.
Neil leaned in again, and as their lips touched, Todd felt a sudden rush that left him momentarily dazed. This kiss wasn't like the others; it was charged with a fervor that seemed to sweep away his thoughts. Todd's hands found their way to Neil's shoulders, gripping them with a hectic force, and he wondered if every kiss held this kind of intensity or if it was something unique to Neil. Each embrace left him breathless, his mind spinning and heart racing in a way he had never experienced before.
At first, finding their rhythm was a bit awkward. Todd mimicked Neil's movements, feeling uncertain and tentative, unsure how to contribute beyond simply following Neil's lead. Gradually, their movements began to align, as if they were discovering a pace that felt almost natural. Todd's initial hesitation melted away, and he allowed himself to take in the kiss with increasing confidence and abandon.
What started as timid, fleeting touches soon grew into something more profound. Each kiss, once delicate and brief, deepened and lingered, as if they were slowly peeling back layers of their connection. From very early on, there had been a quiet comfort between them—an unspoken ease that Todd, normally so guarded with his personal space, found surprisingly natural with Neil.
Todd's mind wandered back to Neil's past, wondering if their kiss could ever measure up to those Neil had shared before. He couldn't quite understand why the need to impress Neil felt so intense. It was as if he wanted this kiss to leave a mark, much like he hoped his writing would impress Mr. Keating. Perhaps this drive to prove himself was what pushed him so fervently.
"You're thinking too loud," Neil murmured, his warm breath mingling with Todd's as his voice cut through the blur of their shared kisses. Todd's nervous laughter came out stiffly, his shoulders rigid with a jittery energy. However, when Neil's tongue lightly traced Todd's lower lip, a jolt of electricity ran through him, silencing his laugh instantly.
Oh my.
The feeling hit Todd like a thunderbolt, snapping his eyes wide open to meet Neil's gaze. Startled, he blinked rapidly and then shut his eyes again, a warm flush creeping up his face as he shilly-shallied, his lips slightly parted as a final response.
Neil leaned in with a mischievous glint in his eye, gently capturing Todd's lower lip between his teeth in a playful nip. The unexpected gesture drew a sharp gasp from Todd, louder than he had intended, making his cheeks flush redder with embarrassment. Neil paused, hovering just above, and quickly glanced toward the door, listening intently.
They had been so lost in each other that any noise beyond their world had become irrelevant. But it seemed even strict old Dr. Hager, who never missed a thing, hadn't noticed the sudden noise. Relief washed over Neil, and a warm smile spread across his face, his eyes sparkling with affection as he looked back at his bashful roommate.
"I’m really sorry," Todd whispered, his eyes darting away as self-consciousness took hold.
Neil took a slow, steady breath, and in the quiet that followed, Todd could almost feel the weight of Neil's gaze. "You don’t have to be," Neil murmured, his voice gentle and inviting, encouraging Todd to meet his eyes. "Do you want to give it another try?"
Todd's nod was slow and shy, his eyes darting nervously, but just as Neil began to close the gap between them, Todd's voice halted him. "Wait, Neil, do you think we could pull the blanket over us?"
Neil paused, his head tilting slightly, curiosity evident in his eyes. Rather than feeling unsettled, Todd seized the opportunity, words spilling out in a rush, as if they were escaping faster than he could control them. "I thought it might be easier to explain why we're under a blanket than to explain why we're… you know, this close."
A low chuckle slipped from Neil's lips, its gentle sound seeming to merge with the warm glow of the room. He nodded, a silent agreement, and reached for the blanket, wrapping it around them with careful hands. As the fabric settled over them, Todd felt an unexpected comfort, as if the blanket had not just covered them but had also eased away the weight of the world, making everything feel a bit lighter.
The room, once bathed in the warm glow of Neil's lamp, was now wrapped in a tender, muted light that seeped through the blanket. Shadows played softly across Neil's face, highlighting the softness of his features in the dim glow. Todd's gaze was drawn to Neil's dark eyes, the subtle curve of his lips, and the sharp contrast of their forms against the white fabric. In that moment, as the outside world blurred, Todd saw only Neil, and it brought him a quiet, unspoken comfort.
Then Neil leaned in, his lips brushing against Todd's in a kiss that sent a shudder down his spine. It started lightly, a tender exploration that quickly deepened. Neil's gentle bite on Todd’s bottom lip, a playful tug, brought a smile to Todd's face and a rush of warmth to his chest. Their lips met again, more confidently this time, and Todd responded, gently nibbling on Neil's lip. The soft, muffled moan that escaped Neil sent a thrill through Todd, making his smile widen.
It felt like an intimate secret shared between them, a silent promise growing stronger with each tender touch.
As their tongues finally touched, Todd was overwhelmed by a sensation both strange and exhilarating. It was as if he were discovering something new within himself, a thrill that sent waves of excitement through him. They moved closer, their actions becoming more eager and passionate as they navigated this new sort of intimacy together.
Todd's hands found their way back to Neil's shoulders, responding instinctively to Neil's gentle pull, bringing them even nearer. Their bodies shifted together, eventually leading them to settle on Todd's bed. Todd's arms wrapped around Neil's neck, while Neil's hands softly traced along Todd's waist. Their kisses grew more intense, their hunger for each other deepening, slowing only momentarily as they caught their breaths.
Feeling emboldened by the moment, Todd took a tentative step forward, initiating a deeper kiss. His tongue sought out Neil's, reaching for a new level of closeness. He wanted to ask Neil if he was doing it right, if this was what he was supposed to feel, but the intensity of their connection left him unable to think clearly. Neil seemed equally entranced, whispering Todd's name between breaths, but it was evident that neither could find the words to express what they were experiencing.
The last flicker of logic that clung to Todd's mind was the nagging thought of soccer practice awaiting them the next morning. Despite it being the weekend, the reminder seemed almost cruel, persistent in a way that refused to let go. It was clear neither he nor Neil seemed willing to let go of the night, as if it were too precious to surrender to something as mundane as rest.
Neil's head tilted slightly, his lips lingering just above Todd's with an intensity that suggested he, too, wasn’t in any hurry to end their time together. His fingers traced delicate patterns along the contours of Todd's face, each touch a soft caress that spoke of their mutual desire to hold on a little longer.
As Neil's kisses began to wander down Todd's neck, Todd's mind felt like it was unraveling, lost in a haze of pure sensation. He blinked rapidly, trying to anchor himself in reality, but his heart quickened with an urgent rhythm, perfectly in sync with the warmth of Neil's breath brushing against his skin. Each soft kiss sent shivers cascading down his spine, leaving him breathless, his throat tightening as he tried to swallow past the swell of emotion. Neil's touch was gentle yet electrifying, tracing delicate paths along Todd's arms and jawline, stirring a torrent of feelings that made it impossible for Todd to focus on anything but the intoxicating closeness between them.
The only sounds in the room were their quickened breaths and the soft, steady movements of their kisses and caresses. Todd silently hoped that the frantic pounding of his heart wasn't so loud that Neil could hear it; he didn’t want anything to break the spell that had wrapped around them. The idea of disrupting this perfect, evanescent moment with awkwardness was something Todd quickly dismissed, clinging desperately to the remnants of the night.
Todd instinctively tilted his head, offering more of himself to Neil, who accepted eagerly, letting his lips trail softly from Todd's neck up to his lips. Their kiss evolved into something more profound and urgent with each passing moment. Neil's hands grew more daring, his touch becoming more insistent, while Todd, driven by an intense need to pull Neil even closer, shifted his grip from Neil's neck. His fingers tangled into Neil's hair, drawing him nearer, every part of him yearning the devotion and fire that Neil provided.
Neil pulled back just enough to catch his breath, his gaze heavy with desire as it locked onto Todd's. A slow, knowing smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "You’re catching on fast," he murmured, his voice a low, intimate whisper. Before Todd could fully grasp the words, Neil's lips were on his again, this kiss deeper and more consuming.
Todd had never thought of himself as a quick learner. Jeffrey, his older brother, seemed to pick up new things effortlessly, while Todd often struggled to grasp concepts on the first try. Yet with Neil, something felt different. His body seemed to instinctively know what to do, guided by a deep, unerring instinct. Every touch and movement flowed naturally, as if he and Neil were perfectly in tune, responding to each other's needs with a wordless understanding.
Their kisses became more demanding, driven by a hunger that neither could fully understand but both found thrilling. The space between them crackled with a stirring tension, almost discernible in the air. Their hands roamed freely, exploring each other's hair, pulling each other closer by the waist, and gently stroking their faces with a tenderness that contrasted with the ardour of their embrace. Each touch seemed to plead silently for them to stay connected, to relish the closeness they both pined for.
Eventually, they pulled away from each other, their breaths coming in uneven, shaky bursts. The outside world, which had seemed so far away, began to press in on them as the sound of approaching footsteps grew louder. Neil hesitated, lifting his head from their gentle embrace. His eyes darted nervously toward the door, where the footsteps approached with a slow, steady rhythm. His hand hovered over the mattress, unsure, poised to switch off the lamp. But before he could act, Todd's hand gripped his arm firmly, a silent reassurance that seemed to say: hold on.
In a barely audible whisper, Neil said, “The lamp,” his eyes drifting to the desk where the soft light created delicate shadows on the walls.
Todd shook his head, his reply just as quiet but firm with conviction. "The floor will creak."
Neil went still, every muscle tensed as he strained to catch any clue of how near the footsteps were. His heart thundered in his chest, the sound echoing loudly in the silence that settled over them. Time seemed to stretch endlessly, each second dragging as he waited for the faintest sign—a turn of the doorknob, the groan of the door opening. Instead, after what felt like forever, the footsteps faded into the distance. Relief surged through him, his body gradually relaxing from its tight, anxious coil.
As Neil turned his head, a new understanding seemed to settle between him and Todd, each acutely aware of the closeness they had just shared. The room felt hushed, as if holding its breath, and their uneven breaths were a quiet echo of the moments that had just passed. Neil's cheeks held a faint blush, and his lips were tender, slightly swollen and deeper in color from their earlier kisses. Todd's eyes were drawn to these details, lingering on Neil's lips longer than he meant to. When their eyes met, Todd quickly looked away, a flush of embarrassment creeping over his face as he realized how clearly he had been staring.
"You did really well," Neil said with a playful grin, his eyes twinkling.
Todd felt a flutter of butterflies in his chest, like a delicate swarm finding its home in his stomach. For a moment, he struggled to pin down the rush of emotions swirling inside him. “It's—it's really because you’re such a great teacher,” he replied, letting his eyes wander to the wall, finding solace in its steady, unchanging surface.
Neil, now up and standing casually, raised an eyebrow and let out a soft chuckle. "Oh, is that so? I don’t think I've actually taught you that much," he said, taking a step away from Todd. The sudden shift from Neil's warm presence left Todd with an unexpected pang, a hollow space that tugged at him, that made him feel as though he were missing a part of himself.
Todd suddenly sat on the edge of his bed, his eyes gleaming with earnestness. "Yes, you have!" he exclaimed, his voice urgent but faltering as he glanced away from Neil's startled expression. "I've learned so much from you, and I feel like there's still so much more I want to understand. If you don’t mind, that is. I don't want to impose or take up too much of your time, especially since you've already done so much for me." His words spilled out in a hurried stream, each phrase blending into the next, creating a tense pause that hung heavily in the air like a thick fog.
Neil's expression softened as he approached the desk, his steps measured and calm. "You know I'll always be here for you, Todd," he said, his voice a soothing balm. "It's never a burden."
With a final, reassuring smile, Neil flicked off the lamp, allowing the room to surrender to a deeper, restful darkness.
"Thanks," Todd murmured, his voice barely rising above the quiet stillness of the room.
He pulled the covers close around him, seeking their shelter as a barrier against more than just the night's chill.
After quietly wishing each other goodnight, Todd turned onto his side, facing away from Neil. A serene smile spread across his face as he lay there, feeling a warmth that seemed to bloom from deep within him. It was more than just butterflies—something richer and more enduring. He touched his fingertips to his lips, still tingling with the memory of their last kiss, and the feeling lingered, leaving him with a tender, quiet joy that would stay with him through the night.