Work Text:
It’s not hard. But every time they think about it, it feels like they’re walking on a tightrope. They’ll just admire from afar, not reaching out. It’d be embarrassing, and it’d be their own downfall if they do make a move. If they ever have to make a difference.
As best friends, Tsubaki and Ume always leave the office at the same time. They both would wait at the bus stop for their bus ride, though Tsubaki would go a different way to relieve their self from their daydreaming.
Ume likes to advise them, always telling them to be careful whenever they’re alone down the street. Tsubaki wished they could have been neighbors, and if so, it’d be another one of their reasons for living.
Tsubaki tries hard enough not to be an open book, but it’s all useless. They’re the one who won’t get the conversation going whenever Ume’s colleagues will snatch Ume for lunch. Tsubaki and Ume are quite in a different world even though they’re in the same place of work.
“Have you heard of a new pancake house opening in the district? It’s just a few blocks from here. Do you guys want to try it?” One of Tsubaki’s lady colleagues says in an excited voice. She wears a knitted purple cardigan with flowers and her dyed hair is tied up in a curly ponytail.
“Yeah, that sounds great! Pancakes aren’t just for breakfast. Right, Tsubaki-chan?” By chance, Shizuka joins Tsubaki in their job and both of them have been helping a lot ever since Shizuka started.
Tsubaki seems to be out of this world. Rather, they have been staring a lot to the other side where Ume is talking with his acquaintances beside the water station. Tsubaki’s co-workers and even Shizuka are exchanging glances until they become aware of where Tsubaki’s attention is mostly nailed at.
“Tsubaki-chan, you know you can’t keep doing this yourself. You and Umemiya-kun have been close for years. Why can’t you two talk about it?” Shizuka says with concern in her tone.
Tsubaki finally returns to their normal stance. They merely shake their head to wade off anymore distractions. Believe it or not, Tsubaki getting their reasoning caught off by staring at Ume across from them is an irresistible distraction. They can’t help it. Their colleagues will think they’re going crazy whenever they’re smiling over nothing.
It’s not over nothing, though. It’s obvious from the colleagues that Tsubaki will always let their guard down whenever Umemiya talks to them.
“What exactly is there to talk about?” Tsubaki’s expression becomes somber.
Their eyes glower down the ground, not caring if the other might step on it and startle them. Tsubaki fumbles their fingers altogether, as if overthinking what should have been possible.
“How much you like him, of course!” Shizuka chirps in her singsong voice.
Tsubaki widens their eyes with their cheeks flushing in red. They raise their head still with the obvious reaction, and their heart skips a beat when they and Umemiya lock eyes with each other. Umemiya only nods and grins at Tsubaki before going back to his working station.
“Oh, right! Tsubaki-chan has a huge crush on Umemiya-san. We almost forgot that!” Tsubaki’s colleague says in an almost loud and squealing tone.
“Aww, Tsubaki-chan, you don’t know how much both of you look so cute together! I’ve always seen you leave work together either,” the colleague with the purple cardigan acquiesces with adoration.
“Shh! You girls! What if the others hear you?” Tsubaki whisper-shouts in embarrassment. They chew a part of their bottom lip, and turn their head from side to side to see if someone is eavesdropping on their conversation.
“Let them hear, Tsubaki-chan. We rarely experience any romance around here!”
“Haha, and I thought romance in the office is forbidden,” Shizuka adds in a half-hearted laugh.
It’s entirely forbidden, and that’s why Tsubaki is most careful. It discourages them from being so obvious and no matter how much they try to hide it, their own eyes can’t lie. What they feel is not some illness that needs to be cured. Most of all, they’re not keen on pretending.
Tsubaki just can’t pretend that they doesn’t care about Ume. When will they even call it “their Ume”?
The manager of the marketing department decides to have a company dinner. It’s a success to persuade the clients to buy the company’s products. It’s the best printing machine the company has to offer with the monthly refilling of ink. The company also provides high-quality papers, and a million yen of it got sold out in just a week.
The company couldn’t have done it without Umemiya’s guidance. Everyone knows he has been working hard ever since day one. This must also be one of the reasons why Tsubaki holds such great affection for him, even though Umemiya doesn’t quite see it yet. Tsubaki hopes he will, but with their habit of hiding in his shadow, the hope is bleak.
Umemiya doesn’t get tired of leaving the office with Tsubaki. It’s just like the same old things they tried to do when they were still high-schoolers. When some gimmick hits the clock, all the workers head to the restaurant just walking distance from the office.
From his periphery, Umemiya is aware of Tsubaki’s presence behind him. There can never be any possible interactions between both of them when Umemiya is surrounded by most of his co-workers who look up to him. It almost feels like they’re all his subordinates. Some lady acquaintances can’t stop swooning over him much to the discomfort of Tsubaki.
Even in one long table for fifteen of them, Tsubaki is a few feet away from Umemiya. They can't see him because one of the colleagues keeps blocking the view whenever they try to lean over.
Tsubaki goes to the restroom to freshen up a bit, and puts lipstick on. Their lips are appealing and plump with a hot pink color, while their eyelashes are longer from the eyeliner that it makes them look fiercer. Tsubaki ties their long hair dyed with red in a bun.
As always, they still have a knack for cute knee-length skirts and long coats that goes well along with their high heels. That’s how Tsubaki will always express their self.
Tsubaki participates in a little drinking game especially Shizuka doesn’t hold her liquor well. Tsubaki plays for her, and their colleagues become worried because of that. They have never seen Tsubaki drink so much before. As for Tsubaki, it’s their first time to do it.
If that is going to impress Umemiya, then Tsubaki has no reason to back out.
“Tsubaki-chan, that should be enough. I’ll drink the next round for you,” Shizuka’s lips pull up a tight smile. She furrows because of worry that she sees Tsubaki’s cheeks burn hot in red.
“Aww, sis. Don’t worry about me. I can still hold up,” Tsubaki grins, winking. One question gets thrown by a colleague, then Tsubaki takes another glass just to avoid answering the question. “If this will impress him, then I won’t ever disappoint…”
“Impress him? You mean…” Shizuka blinks at Tsubaki.
She feels quite uneasy when Tsubaki’s eyes are nearly closing. She scans the whole room then one by one at their co-workers but no sign of Umemiya still enjoying the company let alone the game they’re having.
“Tsubaki-chan, Umemiya-kun’s not here anymore.”
“W-What?” Tsubaki stammers. They forcefully open up their eyes and raise their face to read the situation.
“Tsubaki, you okay?”
“I think you had enough covering for Shizuka–chan!”
“Shizuka-chan, drink up!”
Tsubaki doesn’t care at all about the voices clamoring around them. Even Shizuka and their closest colleagues within their group are trying to console Tsubaki, saying that they should get going.
Instinctually, Tsubaki gets out of the restaurant almost swerving from side to side. They support their self on the side of the wall, their warm hands colliding with the cold surface. They don’t know much if it’s their own vision that’s blurry or is it just because of the blinding radiance of the streetlights.
They should have listened to their friends and Shizuka. It’s a dumb idea that they have to leave an impression when the person they try to entertain isn’t there at the table with them at all.
All Tsubaki wants is to leave the office with Umemiya whenever working hours are over. But tonight’s different, and Tsubaki doesn’t like what they see.
It’s entirely them against the people who try to leave a mark on Umemiya.
“Umemiya-kun…I-I like you! Is it okay if we date?”
Before Umemiya can give his answer to the young woman before him, he hears someone on the verge of throwing up. It catches his attention that he averts his gaze to the surprised young lady which makes the both of them look at Tsubaki who, in a sudden shame, turns their back on the two and finds another way to seek concealment.
He knows this will happen. Not entirely, because he finds out that Tsubaki’s drunk enough to understand what’s going on around them. Shizuka also tells him that after she and her friend group gets anxious and plans to go after Tsubaki.
In the end, it’s Umemiya who goes after Tsubaki and after a few minutes of searching for them in every district’s stores and restaurants, Tsubaki is finally found sitting on the stairs from an empty storehouse.
It’s hard to see Tsubaki’s face, let alone what they’re thinking. Umemiya blames himself for it. He’s been too naive to care about what Tsubaki feels for him. He’s been so damn busy catering for other people’s businesses that he doesn’t quite realize what Tsubaki wants from him.
If only, if only he asks for Tsubaki to beat him up, then he’ll wake up and face some kind of truth.
“Tsubaki,” Umemiya lays a hand on Tsubaki’s shoulder, crouches down with them and stares at them with a saddened expression.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Tsubaki mumbles with their face hidden between their arms and knees.
“I want us to leave work together,” Umemiya says in his gentle tone with a soft grin that Tsubaki hardly sees right now.
Tsubaki can’t believe what they’re hearing. Is he fucking joking or what? They only raise their head and a frown shows on their face with streaks of mascara-stained tears on their cheeks. Behind those tears, Tsubaki’s face is still red. They can’t hold their liquor, and that makes Umemiya feel more guilty.
“Why are you doing this? Why can’t you just go back to your new girlfriend and freaking date?”
“What are you…I didn’t give any answer,” Umemiya lets out a deep sigh, holding his forehead with his hand. He can’t be too sure if he should laugh or remain serious in this conversation.
“Wow, I feel bad for her,” Tsubaki mutters, their swollen eyes flit on the ground, their face contorted with hurt.
“I can’t do it. I’m more worried for you. I wasn’t able to help back at that table when the others dragged me outside to answer some confession. That was stupid of me.”
“Will you feel more stupid if I tell you how I really feel?”
Umemiya is caught off guard. Not knowing what to say back when both of his and Tsubaki’s eyes meet with enough conviction from Tsubaki’s stare. That conviction with a little fear and pain.
Tsubaki hates to face situations like this, because it still reminds them that they’re not entirely normal. They’re not normal enough to experience this, that’s why they intend to just hide it. Admiring Umemiya from afar is the least they can do. Nothing more.
But if there aren’t a lot of people watching over them, then this might be their only chance to say what they want to say. Even if it means to let it all out of their system.
“I like you, okay?! No! I-I love you! I fucking love you! I’ve loved you for a long time! I’ve loved you enough to hide it, because you wouldn’t understand…”
Tsubaki’s deep sobbing sends shivers on Umemiya not because of spite. He’s guilty just remembering what was once before. Tsubaki has definitely bottled all their feelings up, that they’re suffocating and Umemiya didn’t even see that. He’s quite shaken that he doesn’t know what to do.
Yet instincts are better off than getting it controlled.
Umemiya wraps Tsubaki in his embrace. It’s a little tight, but it’s securing Tsubaki as if telling them to keep letting all the tears fall. Because they’re safe, and nothing will ever pull them back into the dark closet.
“Geez, Tsubaki-chan. Can you feel that?” Umemiya chuckles, presses his arm around Tsubaki and doesn’t hesitate to pat them on their head. “You just made my heart beat so fast.”
“Serves you right,” Tsubaki mumbles, sniffling. Their eyes become more teary. They nuzzle their face on Umemiya’s shoulder and keep on sobbing, this time, softly.
Umemiya laughs in a resounding melody, still embracing Tsubaki. A sigh escapes his lips as if something heavy has been lifted off from his chest. His hand caresses Tsubaki’s face so carefully and unconsciously putting his lips on them. He’s been looking forward to it rather than being surprised by what he did.
Tsubaki is surprised though, it sends their heart to beat faster than it ever does before. They only fancy the warmth and security, and the taste of a bitter aftertaste of alcohol from Umemiya’s lips. Still, they don’t let go and kiss Umemiya back like they were really born for it.
It really feels as if they’re winning, and it’s such the best kiss they ever had with Umemiya—signifying a kind of long-awaited confession. They will never be able to forget it.