Chapter Text
“How long will you be gone?” He sighed, pressing his cheek into the top of her head. He had become nearly dependent on her, in the past year Ben had felt the darkness tugging him away. He kept it all a secret, even from her, hidden away in the darkest corner of his mind only to be taken out when he was alone and under the cover of darkness. She alone was his lighthouse, that small point that he clung so desperately to, knowing it was only a matter of time.
“Just about a month” she sighed and traced patterns lazily into his thin sleeping shirt, “I leave in the morning.” Stars, a month! It would be agony. Ben prayed memory of her would be enough to tide him over.
“Our last night,” he said, with an odd finality even he didn't understand, “better make it a good one then.”
The body of his father fell away, and Kylo couldn't bring himself to watch it fall into the mist. Instead he turned the opposite direction and made his way off the bridge. Or he would have, had there not been a ghost waiting for him on the other side.
“I didn't think you would come” he said, not any louder than he had to for only her to hear as he began to lessen the large gap between them. He thought proximity might soften her, but her face remained stony in it’s hateful expression.
“I had to. Thought it might burn through the last lingering threads of my feelings for you” she seemed to laugh, but there was no trace of mirth in the sound as he neared the end of the bridge.
An eyebrow raised, just slightly, “Still holding on hope, are we?” His tone was near mocking as she glared daggers at him
“Stars, you don't even know” her voice was nearly a growl, in the corner of his eye Kylo saw her hand tighten around a weapon, he hadn't even thought to check if she had one.
“Tell me then.” His tone was forced, yet somehow still flat, how much emotional toil could one day put him through?
“That day will always be burned into me. I lost far more than you could even imagine”
“What do you mean?” Something changed in him then, was it confusion? Curiosity? Whatever it was he didn't like the feeling.
Something changed in her too, a sudden softness as if for a moment she was living another life. She was again that cheery girl he trained with, who snuck out of her room at night to be with him, and in the same instant the sad and broken woman he had left in his wake of turning to the Dark side, “I was so excited to come back, I remember, so excited to tell you..” Her hand drifted sadly down her stomach, as if comforting the memory itself.
“I have… a ch--”
“No, Kylo!” She spat, tense again, “ Ben Solo and I had a child.” The poison rose again in her voice as the images of destruction flashed through her mind. He could see them, he could see the scorched buildings and bloodied ground, images of her weeping over the mangled bodies of her friends, as Luke stood on silently, still in shock, “did you know that great emotional trauma can cause early labor? Or, in the case of my barely budding life, miscarriage ?”
The horror was evident on Kylo’s face as he watched the woman he once loved (still loved?) break down.
“That day you murdered, my friends, my family, the man I loved, and my child ” she nearly screamed, emotion getting the best of her as she crumpled in on herself and he caught her by reflex. It felt like a miracle, even under such circumstances as these, to have her in his arms again
“Please, Ben” she whispered, looking up at him with shining eyes, “I'm so tired. Just put me out of my misery.” She begged and laid her head on his chest, “you took everything else, have my life as well.”
This moment was vital, he could see the path before him splitting clearly. The darkness said to kill her, to let this newfound pain further fuel his rage, it would be so easy in this vulnerable position. He could split her in half with his saber, would barely have to flick his wrist. He could just as easily squeeze the life from her broken form with the Force, or even drop her over the rail to join his father.
On the other hand, he could break. He could give in and kiss her, forget about the girl he should be pursuing and take her away, what was one fleeing Tie Fighter among the masses? To whisk them away into hiding until she trusted him again, until it was safe for him to return to his mother and beg forgiveness. He could see it all laid out in his mind, a happy life somewhere green, playing outside with a toddler that had his dark hair and her bright smile as she stood by the door with his mother fussing over her as she smiled at them and contentedly rubbed her pregnant belly.
But then something hardened deep in his chest, pushing the sunshine away, the voice of Snoke, “this will be your greatest test yet”. And he pushed her away, refusing to look at her.
“That would be showing mercy” he said coldly, brushing past, “I suggest you get out of this facility rather quickly if you don't wish to be incinerated, I have a suspicion that fool and his dog have compromised the structure”
And with that, she knew. Ben Solo was well and truly dead.