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The mid-afternoon sun drifted slowly down towards the horizon, acting as a reminder of the time that Tango felt he was missing. The crops were ready for harvest again. It was too bad Tango wasn’t around anymore to take care of them. The ranch was empty now. The horses and goats were long gone, as were the chickens, the cows, and the donkey. Every one of them had been stolen or killed. And of course the ranch house had been yet again reduced to rubble and ash. It was only fitting, Tango supposed, that Grian finished what Scar had started only days ago. Grian and Scar had held a funeral for Tango and Jimmy that ended in arson. Tango had been present, though he hadn’t been in much state to pay attention. All he heard anyway were a bunch of jokes regarding his and Jimmy’s misfortune.
Tango had been wandering in and around the remains of the ranch for roughly a day now. He couldn’t bear it to leave yet. He had to get his mind in order first; a task that had been unsuccessful up until this point. At the moment, Tango found himself out in the wheat field. The breeze blew through the wheat, the swaying stalks giving the illusion of a rippling lake of gold. It was pretty, Tango had to admit. It was peaceful. It was just a shame Tango’s mind wasn’t the same way.
Tango wasn’t perfect. Far from it, if you asked him. He obviously couldn’t stay alive, nor was he capable of keeping his soulmate from death either. It really was a hopeless cause. It was a wonder Jimmy had stuck with him for so long. Jimmy didn’t deserve him; Tango was certain of this. He had been the one to lose their first life. If that wasn’t proof enough, Tango didn’t know what was.
“You’re still here?” came a voice from behind him. Speak of the devil.
Tango recognized this voice without looking to be that of his soulmate. Tango looked down at his feet with a sigh, thinking for a moment over a response. “We should still be alive, Jimmy.”
“Yeah, I know, I’m so sorry-”
“No,” Tango interrupted; he couldn’t let Jimmy feel sorry for what happened. There was already too much sorrow going around as it was, what with Tango feeling like a failure and all. “no, it’s not your fault. … I mean… Heh, I killed us first anyway.” Tango shrugged his shoulders and bit back a gasp of misery.
“Noo, Tango, I know you, don’t try to turn this on yourself. It was all an accident, you can’t hold yourself responsible for this.”
“Then why couldn’t I save us, Jim?” Tango turned to look his soulmate in the face, his eyes wide. “I could’ve reacted quicker, eaten more! I could’ve saved us, so why didn’t I?”
Jimmy looked back at Tango with an expression of concern. “Tango, there wasn’t time. Even if you could’ve reacted quicker, it wouldn’t’ve mattered.”
“I could’ve made it matter, Jimmy! I- there must be something I could’ve done differently. If only I could’ve had another chance, maybe we could have lasted longer.” Tango turned away in shame, rocking back and forth on his feet. He huffed out a breath of defeat.
Jimmy sighed. Tango felt his concern like a judgemental stare that made him feel numb inside. He crossed his arms in emotional self-defense as Jimmy responded. “It wasn’t your fault, Tango. Don’t tell yourself that. You’re not the one who’s cursed.”
Tango gave a half-hearted shrug, doing his best to ignore the lingering pressure behind his eyes as he answered. “Then why do I still feel responsible?” A sob escaped his lips and he mentally cringed at the noise. Pathetic.
“Tango-” Jimmy tried to speak but Tango was too deep in his own head to hear him properly.
Words of frustration began to fall out of Tango’s mouth. He started pacing restlessly. “Why do I feel like if I had more sense, maybe I could’ve protected you!? Jimmy, why do I feel like such a stupid fool for not being able to-”
“Tango!” Jimmy shouted in a way that sounded all too similar to a bird’s cry. He stopped Tango in his tracks, grabbing him by the shoulder and using one hand to guide his face upwards, forcing eye contact. “Stop. Look at me. You’re not responsible for this. We were going to die soon anyway. Every one of us does. You died once, I died twice! It’s my curse! I’m not gonna be mad at you for what happened because it wasn’t. your. fault. Stop thinking it was, cause it wasn’t. I’m not mad at you, Tango. You don’t need to be mad at yourself either.”
There was a moment of silence that came as Tango looked away again, shutting his eyes momentarily as he took another breath to collect himself. “I’m sorry…”
Jimmy pulled Tango into a hug, though Tango couldn’t help but curl into himself, quietly forbidding himself to start crying as he attempted to swallow down his everlasting guilt. “I know… Me too,” Jimmy responded softly. “I know it hurts; I wish I knew how to fix it.”
Tango stayed quiet for a few moments before attempting words again. “Why am I so bad at this?” He cringed again at how small and helpless his voice sounded when he spoke. He covered his face with his hand.
“No, stop that. You’re brilliant, Tango.” Tango could hear the thickness that coated Jimmy’s voice as he spoke, paired with the occasional sniffling. Was Jimmy crying? “I wouldn’t ask for anyone else to be soulmates with.”
Tango let out a laugh of disbelief. “You can’t mean that.”
“But I do, Tango, believe me. I’m sorry all of this happened the way it did, but I couldn’t ask for anyone else… I’m glad I have you.”
Tango let out a long breath. “I’m glad too… and sorry. So sorry, still. I just- can’t understand… why?”
“Why what?” Jimmy asked, lifting a hand to wipe away tears.
“Why are you still here?” Tango pulled away from the hug. “Anyone else would be long gone by now, but you haven't left. Why do you care so much about someone who can’t do anything right?”
Jimmy sighed again and shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s just the way I am? I suppose I understand what it’s like to die first. I should, anyway, after three seasons of it.”
Tango nodded in acceptance, sniffling again and wiping his nose.
“Are you gonna be alright?”
“Yeah, yeah I’ll be fine. It’s gonna be a while, but I’ll get over it.” Tango wondered how much of that statement would turn out to be a lie.
“Ok.” Jimmy paused momentarily before responding. “I’m so sorry, again.”
“It’s ok. It wasn’t your fault either.”
Jimmy nodded slowly, quietly. “Oh, I forgot.” He said after a moment, prompting Tango to turn and look again. Jimmy pulled out of his pocket a golden feather. “When we died, I was on my way home to meet you. I was gonna give you this.” His voice shook as he carefully held out the gift. Tango’s jaw dropped as he gently took the feather, terrified at the idea of hurting it. “It fell out earlier; I felt a death coming and figured I should give you this in case it was us. It’s to remember me by. I wasn’t sure how long it would be till we saw each other again.”
“Really?” Tango questioned, his voice shaky and quiet. The tears were back again; there was no stopping them this time.
Jimmy nodded again, tears in his eyes, however, a smile was painted on his face now.
Tango rushed forward into another hug. He was definitely crying now. Surely he didn’t deserve this. “Thank you!~ This means so much, thank you…”
“Of course, you’re welcome!” Jimmy sniffled, laughing softly.
“I figured- I mean- I just expected- I- Gah, I have no words, thank you so much.”
“Your welcome…”Jimmy cooed, “Now do me a favor, remember this? Remember how much I love you; how much we all care for you?” Jimmy paused again to wipe his messy face, “This game changes people, Tango, but outside of this server, each one of us loves and cares about you. Remember that for me? Please? I don’t want you to feel bad like this anymore.”
“I’ll try. Thank you,” Tango cried.
“Remember you’ll always be my soulmate, my rancher.”
“My rancher…”
The two sat in the grass on the ranch into the evening, until the last blast rang out and the winner was decided. The ghostly server had one final meeting, then came the time for the contestants to depart. It was over, they said.
Go home.
Go.
And Tango woke up safe at home in his base on Hermitcraft. The gifted feather was held tightly in his grip. He didn’t want to let go.