Archive of Our Own ^beta

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”we’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know wheeeeenn! But I know we’ll meet again, some sunny dayyyyy!”

Ford had Bills statue containing Bill’s consciousness inside. In an odd twisted way he can’t believe he feels slight remorse for the little guy…’little’ he grunts to himself. He looks at it, feeling the bad aura coming of from it. A shiver going up his spine, he shook his head out of it, and turned back to the growing body they had been ‘cooking up’ in a green large tube.

A small, slightly old man, skin head with a weak chubby body, it’s what they’ll need to keep Bill from being naturally strong to do anything, let alone escape out of it. Just in case Bill, DOES break out the body, the tube is also Bill proofed to immediately freeze him back into the statue he once was or will be.

Fords notes:

Why make a body Ford? Oh, well (flashback) after finding Bill’s statue in the forest, with also a suspicious book that took me by utter panic attack, despite that, I kept my cool, trying not to look suspicious even though no one is watching, except possibly Bill through his solid eye, with his hand out waiting to make a deal with someone gullible enough to fall for it, then again his is a mastermind of almost everything, mostly because their end of the deal would be giving them all the secrets to use as blackmail and use against them. Ford grabs the mysterious book, dusted it off and gasped.

It was called… “The Book of Bill” ‘impossible!’ He gasped to himself, shoving the book on his inside coat pocket. He left the statue and came back with a wheelbarrow, silly choice in the moment of panic, because Bill’s statue weighed a tone. “Oof” Ford grunted to himself weakly picking it up and tossing it into the barrow making a ‘CLUNCK’ sound, luckily, Bills fat ass didn’t break it, surprisingly. Ford wheeled it back and flashback to now on why he grew a body.

The body floated lifeless, pal, and could see a few pink vines and imperfections, which would suit perfectly for Bill. “Are you ready, fiddleford?” “Ya darn right I am! You’ crazier than me, you darn bastard!” Ford chuckled “right back attcha’” mcgucket pulled the switch, an electrical surge going around the old rusty port. The Bill statues eye starts to glow blue, as the light gets sucked out of it and shot into the body.

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As the blue aqua green light shines within the grown body, the body twitches, kicking its legs and moving its fingers dramatically. An alarm starts to blair out, as the generator is waking Gravity Falls, which causes an earthquake; shaking the trees, ground and making the cars beep. Ford starts to panic, looking at the twitching body. He looks at McGucket in fear. Ford starts combing his sweat ridden hair ‘What have I done?’ He thought to himself.

Ford grabs McGucket, and they duck behind a metal shield (a nocked over filing cabinet) luckily enough, the alarm stopped and the generator cooled down. Ford nodded at McGucket to stay put, while he checked on the body to see if it exploded. As the steam clears out, the body was fine… no Bill to be found… ‘so did that mean it worked? Or…’ Ford goes up to the tube, also looking at his reflection and thinks ‘this was another crazy idea’ just as he sighed, the body opened its mouth.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” Bill cackled, bubbles coming from his mouth.

Ford stepped back in shock, holding his arm up to his face for protection.

As Bill opened his eyes, Ford smirked, knowing the trap worked because, Bills eyes were normal! Not the insane, crazed shiny yellow with cat pupils that they usually were went possessing a body. Although the success, Ford still stood at bay, not yet opening the tube. He’s not fully sure if Bill is actually fully contained within the body, Ford had to wait for sign until Bill would be able to come out.

Ford walked over to the keyboard that was merged within the desk, with a flick of a button, the water flushed away, so Bill didn’t accidentally drown himself. As the water slowly drained out Bill stood perfectly up, staring at Ford as he creepily grinned at him. Ford was amazed at how out of proportion his smile was, but always hid that reaction away from his enemies. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t my muse fordsy! I knew you wouldn’t be able to last without me!” Bill prepares to snap his fingers, and Ford stands strong but wincing, waiting…and waiting for something to happen. Nothing happened “ha! ‘I can’t believe how dumb you are!’ As you would say, Bill?!” As Ford pointed and mocked at Bill.

Bill widened his eyes, clenching his teeth “WHAT!?” Bill looks at his hands “WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE YOU MEATBAGS! ITS MY WORST NIGHTMARE TO BE ONE!” Bill screeched as he banged on the glass. Ford couldn’t help but laugh at Bills decline in confidence, Ford rubbed the tears of joy from his eye, coughed and smirked “Yeah, me and ol’ pal McGucket here, cooked up a body in the lab that basically makes you, how do I say it? Not a ‘mastermind of dimensions’ anymore” ford chuckles a bit at the last part. Bill was enraged, in fact furious with the situation he was in, after 'long last of waiting' the first thing he wakes up to is being in a freak show of a human body.

Ford walks over to the tube and places his six fingered hand on the scanner, which is a security idea he came up with when thinking about one of his many three journals as sort of legacy. once it scanned his handprint, the green computer words popped up illuminating "ACCESS GRANTED." As the air steamed out the door, it slowly opened, causing a moment of awkward silence. Ford and Bill darted their eyes towards anything other than each other, every so often catching each others glance Bill would snarl, causing Ford to frown while rolling his eyes.

The door finally opened. Bill franticly ripped off the Holter monitors attached to his chest, and lunged towards Ford attempting to attack him. Ford thought fast and whipped out weighted cuffs, dialled it to 250 pounds, with a press of a button he confirmed the setting and slapped the cuffs onto both of Bills wrists to weigh him down, almost making him fall to the cold dirty floor.

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"ughhhh!" Bill frustratingly grunts, trying to punch Ford with the weighted cuffs, Ford smirks at Bill’s pathetic attempts, chuckling “ah, good luck getting out of these bad boys!” Ford knocks on the cuffs “Weighed cuffs, yep, that’s right! Don’t go trying anything crazy, because I have prepared for your ‘return’ this time! Haha.” Bill clench’s his teeth looking at Ford in anger, he smirks and try’s to headbutt Ford, which he dodges “whoa! Haha, I’m surprised how much energy you have there, we made this body specially for you Bill” Ford stands proud of his work “I didn’t ask for this…” Bill muttered “I heard that. And! The town didn’t ask for weirdmageddon! Yet you betrayed my trust in you and did it anyway! So fair is fair.” Ford grins evilly at Bill. He looks away knowing, for his right…’wait, I’ve never had a doubt before in my life, Ford is not right at all!’

“Whatever you say, Sixer! It’s only a matter of time before I figure out how to get out of the cursed body, you’ll see…” Ford rolls his eyes, but in the back of his mind, what if Bill was right? What if he finds out? “Nah!” Ford says all cheerful again “Now Bill, you’re going to live in Gravity Falls with me! Why’s that? Because! If you somehow escape you gotta remember- “Gravity falls has a magnetic ‘werid’ force field’ yeah I know, smartass!” “My, you do remember! I thought you would have been so embarrassed you would have wiped it from your mind!” Bill grunts “Anyway. I have prepared an ID for you Bill, from now on you’re known as ‘Osward Gabrielson.’” “Os.. ward” “that’s right, the name Bill was banned as a birth name from Gravity Falls after weirdmageddon, anyone who heard the name would either, have a heart attack or died from sleep deprivation.” “HAHA that’s hilarious!” Bill felt charmed that his event left a mark in everyone’s brain still to this day. “I also gave you this name because we didn’t want to give you a name out of the ordinary. Anything mystical would have lead people into suspicion, and we wouldn’t want that.” Bill looks at Ford with a angered frown. “From now on Bill you will be living with me, in the mystery shack” Bill rolls his eyes “have to live with a six fingered freak like you? You wish.” Bill grunted “I don’t like it as much as you, Bill, but I need to study and collect answers for my new journals, and now you don’t have your powers anymore, you won’t be able to burn these ones!” Ford waves a shiny journal in Bills face “you’re not concerned about me tossing them into the fire” “Nope!” Ford interrupts happily “because! These are ‘everything proofed’. Cant be ripped, burned, shredded, soaked, bleached, electrocuted” “okay, yeah, whatever, I get it!” Bill groans “great! Now come along.” Ford roughly grabs Bills arm and pulls him up onto his feet and leads him to a dressing room

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“Right…before we ‘release you,’ we’ll need to figure out what you’ll wear…” Ford ponders looking at the almost naked human Bill, the only thing his wearing is plastic pants. While Ford is tossing through rugged clothes Bill walks over to a mirror “You couldn’t even give me a bit of colour, Sixer? I look paler than awkward teen vampire.” “Bill was you not listening to what I said, I didn't want you to look ‘interesting’ or ‘out of the ordinary.” “That was my name, dumbass.” “Hm you have been listening. Well, it wasn’t just your name, basically everything about you.” “Oh Fordsy, you make me blush!” Bill flutters his eyes awkwardly, making Ford grunt “Stop talking to me.” 

Bill rolls his eyes and crosses his legs, only to realise he can’t float anymore, he stumbles to the ground, greeting the floor with an angered sigh. Ford laughs trying not to give Bill eye contact, obviously laughing at him. “Go fuck yourself, Sixer!” “Bill if you’re going to keep behaving like the child you are, then why don’t you pic out your own clothes?” Ford demands in a passive aggressive tone, Bill clenches his teeth at him and stumbles upwards to gaze at the materiel these humans have to where to hide their hideous bodies. Bill obeys “Fine.” He lazily pulls at the clothes feeling its contents, he feels a warmth in his chest ‘what the…? Why does this feel so…com-fort-ing?’ Bill struggles to think to himself as he auto pilots his face into the clothe, rubbing his cheeks, forehead and nose into it. Fords eyebrows give Bill a confused look, Bill captures Fords gaze and embarrassingly darts the clothes out of his grasp “Stop looking at me!” Bill shouts, causing Ford to shake his head. Bill pulls out a vanilla yellow and chestnut brown checkered cardigan vest with a black collared undershirt, he throws on some dark brown trousers and puts on black boots “Now will you stop complaining?” Bill struts “Wow! Not too shabby, cyclops!” Ford grins genuinely, Bill can’t help but turn his head to hide his tinted cheeks “Shut up, freak!”