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"Quit your whining. I'm off to work now. Tidy the place up, will you?" Alhaitham says before walking out of the door, leaving Kaveh all by his lonesome. A heavy sigh escaped Kaveh's lips.
Kaveh really wanted to figure out who he actually was. More than anything, he just wanted to get a grip on his feelings and understand what kind of guy had his heart racing. Did he even have a penchant for guys?
He needed to know if he was the only one feeling this way. The fear of it all being one-sided gnawed at his heart, leaving him restless with uncertainty.
He longed for the reassurance that this wasn’t just him feeling things alone, but a real connection between him and Alhaitham.
On top of all that, he was sick. "Okay, it’s just a cold—but still." Kaveh thought, a wave of frustration washing over him. Memories from earlier that morning flickered in his mind, the moment Alhaitham had inquired whether Kaveh intended on going out or not.
He felt an overwhelming reluctance to tidy up the mess that surrounded him, and the very thought of it filled him with a sense of defiance. All he longed for was the comforting embrace of his bed, where he could lose himself in daydreams of Alhai- "..No, why on earth would I want to think of him..?" Kaveh grappled with his thoughts, frantically searching for reasons, any reasons at all, to justify the tumultuous feelings he held for Alhaitham, clinging to the notion that he “hated” him as if it could somehow quell the storm inside.
With a reluctant resolve, he dragged himself from the couch after finishing his cereal, its bowl clattering against the sink. Slipping into his soft house shoes, he rolled up his sleeves, steeling himself for the task ahead.
He started picking up stuff off the floor, returning it to where it belonged, muttering all the reasons he “hated” Alhaitham for each item he picked up.
"I hate when he ignores me and continues to read his dumb books when all I ask is to simply help me clean." Kaveh spat, hurling one of Alhaitham's precious volumes onto a shelf as if to cast aside the weight of his feelings.
"And it drives me mad when he shoves those stupid earpieces in while I’m pouring my heart out, sharing his burdens as if they mean nothing to him!" He flung Alhaitham's earpieces onto the bed, each toss echoing his growing ire.
"I despise it when he goes out to eat, leaving the damn to-go plate half-finished! What’s the point of saving it if he won’t even touch it?!" Kaveh growled, smashing the plate into the trash can.
"I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him…" he muttered through clenched teeth, the words spilling from his lips like a mantra as he swept the floor with wild fervor, pouring every ounce of his emotions into the task at hand.
With a frustrated huff, Kaveh cast the broom aside as if it were a weight too heavy to bear and collapsed onto the sofa, his heart feeling like it might just shatter. "I love him so much," he confessed into the emptiness, a sigh escaping his lips that was heavy with longing and despair. "I'm so fucked."
Hot tears prickled his eyes as the reality of his jumbled emotions hit him. He quickly wiped his nose, the cold making him feel worse. Stumbling into the kitchen, he opened the fridge and went for a bottle of red wine—his little lifeline—and grabbed a wine glass, wanting to drown out the feelings swirling inside. He poured himself a glass and set a box of tissues next to him on the couch.
Later that evening, around 9 PM, Alhaitham returned home from the Akademiya, appearing puzzled by the dimness of the living room. His eyebrow raised, becoming a tad bit concerned upon hearing Kaveh's groan. "The hell…? Kaveh?" Alhaitham inquired, working to maintain his composure. He turned on a nearby lamp and noticed Kaveh sprawled on the couch, lazily holding a glass of red wine, which had tipped over, spilling onto the coffee table and rug.
A slow, languid murmur floated from Kaveh's lips, laced with a haze of intoxication. "Mmm? Back already...?"
Alhaitham couldn’t suppress a weary sigh as he tenderly pried the wine glass from Kaveh’s unsteady grip. "It’s 9:34. I would’ve returned sooner, but I got caught up at the library, searching for a new book to dive into."
Kaveh rolled his eyes, a childlike stubbornness tainting his demeanor. "Give meeee.."
"You've had more than enough," Alhaitham countered firmly.
"No, I haven't! Give meeeeee!"
Alhaitham couldn’t help but smile faintly at the absurdity of it all. "You sound like a petulant child," Alhaitham teased, a hint of warmth creeping into his tone as he walked over to the sink, the glass clinking softly as he deposited it inside.
"Wha…my name is not Kyle, for your information! Give me the cupppppp.." Kaveh whined, his frustration palpable.
"I said you've drank enough," Alhaitham insisted, his voice unyielding, yet filled with an earnest concern for Kaveh's well-being.
Kaveh let out an exasperated huff, his eyes sparkling with stubborn longing. "But I neeeeeed it!"
"And why exactly do you “need” it? Drinking your small problems away won't help you, I hope you know." Alhaitham shot back.
"They're not small! He's important!"
"Who's important?" Alhaitham pressed, genuinely intrigued as he moved closer to the sofa.
Kaveh’s gaze flickered up, eyes heavy-lidded, his state of intoxication becoming even more evident.
"The person I hate…why is he so important?" Kaveh asked with genuine curiosity as he stared at Alhaitham.
"Hm. Why do you think he's so important?" Alhaitham sat down on the couch, his back pressing against Kaveh's legs.
"I'd be anything for him..I'd do anything for him. I just don't know what he likes. What he's into..and…I don't want to try to make myself think that…."
Alhaitham felt a rush of desperation but held it back, fighting the urge to lay bare all the feelings he had. Kaveh was clearly lost in his drunken haze, but it made Alhaitham's heart race—was he talking about him? Or was it just the wine making him speak? He honestly had no idea why he even bothered. Kaveh was drunk. Really drunk. He doubted he’d get any clear answers from him.
"You don't want to let yourself think what?" he pressed gently.
"I can’t admit that I love him…especially since he doesn't love me back..." Kaveh sneezed, letting out a sigh afterwards.
"Who doesn't love you?" Alhaitham asked, a hint of urgency lacing his words as he tried to mask his own rising curiosity.
"My roommate…the scribe…he doesn't love me." Kaveh replied, and Alhaitham felt a crushing wave of guilt wash over him. There was a flicker of confusion in Kaveh's downcast eyes, a hint of sadness that twisted Alhaitham’s heart. How could Kaveh believe he was unloved? The truth burned within Alhaitham’s soul, longing to pour forth, as he realized that his own feelings for Kaveh ran deeper than the ocean. He just didn't think it was so unnoticeable.
"Hmm… But he does love you," Alhaitham murmured softly, lifting Kaveh’s chin so their eyes could meet—the world around them fading into insignificance. "I love you."
Kaveh found himself lost in the depths of Alhaitham’s vibrant green eyes, which brightened the dim room with warmth. The gentle smile that curved Alhaitham’s lips sent shivers down Kaveh’s spine, the kind that made him feel cherished, special. His fluffy hair that he’d let Kaveh play with occasionally.
"Al… Alhaitham? He loves me..?" Alhaitham’s smile slightly got even bigger as he stared at Kaveh, not letting his hand move just an inch away from Kaveh’s soft face.
"More than you know. Much more." Alhaitham whispered, pulling Kaveh into an embrace that was both protective and passionate, burying his face in Kaveh's shoulder. In that moment, he understood just how much Kaveh needed this—needed love, needed connection. It broke Alhaitham’s heart to see him so alone.
"Wha… Huh?!"
Suddenly, like a bolt of energy, Kaveh tugged Alhaitham closer, intertwining their fingers and guiding them to his waist with a daring, dangerous yet playful grin that filled the air with charged expectancy.
"Show me then," Kaveh challenged, the spark of courage shining through.
Looks like Kaveh was a lot bolder when he was drunk than Alhaitham ever thought.