Chapter Text
Diluc returned from his three-year 'adventure' a shadow of his former self. He had grown, now standing slightly taller, but that only accentuated how gaunt he'd become.
His once broad shoulders were still there, but they seemed more like a frame, the muscle clinging too tightly to his bones. His clothes hung on him differently now—what once fit snugly now appeared oversized, as if he'd shrunk within them.
The sleeves of his coat drooped at the wrists, and the collar, which once rested against a strong neck, now gaped around something thinner, more fragile.
His hair, that vibrant crimson, had lost its luster. It was thinner, less full, almost as if the color had drained out along with his vitality. It fell limply around his face, no longer cascading in the thick waves it once had.
His skin had paled, the healthy flush gone, replaced by a pallor that clung to him like a sickly hue. And those eyes—once so bright, burning with determination—were now sunken, ringed with dark circles.
They still held that fire, but it was muted, buried under layers of something heavy, something that aged him beyond his years.
When he moved, there was a certain weariness in his motions, a carefulness that hadn't been there before. His hands, steady but too thin, trembled slightly when he reached for a bottle of wine. As he stretched, his coat lifted just enough to reveal the sharp outline of his rib cage, a stark contrast to the powerful figure he once was.
His breath was audible in the quiet of Angel's Share—deep, yet strained, carrying with it a rasp that made him sound older, harsher. Yet, paradoxically, there was something almost youthful in his frailty, a vulnerability that hadn't been there before, as if the man had been hollowed out, leaving behind a delicate, fragile shell.
His gaze often wandered, unfocused, like he was lost in thought or perhaps seeing something that wasn't there. He was quieter, too, speaking less and with a voice that, though deeper and rougher, somehow made him seem more like the boy who left at eighteen than the man who had returned.
There was an air of detachment around him, a sense of being elsewhere, even when he was right in front of you. The strength was still there, but it was as if it was being drawn from a well that was quickly running dry.
Kaeya arrived at Dawn Winery later than he'd planned, the sun long since dipped below the horizon, leaving the sky a deep shade of blue. The estate, usually bustling with life, was quiet—eerily so. The familiar scent of grapes and wine hung in the air, but tonight, there was something different about it, something heavier. He let himself in, his boots making soft thuds against the wooden floor as he walked through the halls, following the light that spilled from the kitchen.
Adelinde was there, as expected, tending to the dishes from what must have been a solitary dinner. She looked up when she saw him, and her stern face softened into a warm smile. “Kaeya,” she greeted, her voice as comforting as ever. Kaeya grinned, stepping forward to plant a light kiss on her cheek.
“Adelinde,” he said, his tone carrying a playful lilt. “I’ve missed you.”
“And I you,” she replied, wiping her hands on her apron. There was a pause, a moment where her eyes searched his face. “You didn’t just come to see me, did you?”
Kaeya chuckled, though there was a slight edge to it. “You know me too well,” he admitted. “I heard about Diluc… figured I’d drop by, make sure he’s not causing you too much trouble.”
Adelinde’s expression faltered, just for a split second, before she straightened up, resuming her usual poise. “He’s upstairs, in his office,” she said. “He’s been overworking himself again. I’ve tried to get him to rest, but you know how he is.”
Kaeya nodded, his grin fading slightly. “Stubborn as always.” He tried to keep his tone light, but the worry bled through. He’d heard the rumors circulating through Mondstadt—the whispers of how Diluc had returned from his mysterious journey a changed man, and not for the better. He’d shrugged them off at first, refusing to believe that his once indomitable brother could be reduced to a mere shadow of himself. But as the stories grew more persistent, more detailed, the concern gnawed at him until he couldn’t ignore it any longer.
“Don’t worry, I’ll go check on him,” he assured Adelinde.
She gave him a small, grateful nod, but the worry in her eyes was unmistakable.
Kaeya made his way upstairs, each step feeling heavier than the last. The hallway was dimly lit, the flickering candlelight casting long, distorted shadows on the walls. He paused outside Diluc’s office door, taking a deep breath before slowly pushing it open.
The sight that greeted him was far worse than anything he had imagined.
Diluc sat at his desk, hunched over a pile of documents. The room was dark, save for the lone lamp that cast a sickly yellow glow over the papers, casting his gaunt face into sharp relief. His hand moved mechanically, the pen in his grasp scratching aimlessly across the parchment, but there was no real intent behind the movement. It took Kaeya a moment to realize that he wasn’t even writing—just drawing erratic circles, over and over again.
“Diluc,” Kaeya called out, his voice light and cheerful, masking the concern bubbling beneath the surface. “Burning the midnight oil again, I see.”
Diluc didn’t react immediately, his head moving almost in slow motion as he lifted it to look at Kaeya. When their eyes met, Kaeya felt a cold shiver run down his spine. Diluc’s eyes were clouded, unfocused, as though he wasn’t really seeing him. It was like looking into the eyes of a stranger—no, worse, it was like looking into the eyes of someone who wasn’t fully there.
“Kaeya,” Diluc finally acknowledged him, but his voice was distant, monotone, almost as if the word was a chore to utter. “I’m busy.”
Kaeya’s eyes flicked down to the papers, noting the erratic circles littering the pages. “Busy, huh?” he mused, sinking into the chair across from Diluc’s desk. “Looks more like you’re perfecting your abstract art skills.”
There was a faint twitch at the corner of Diluc’s mouth, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He simply returned to his ‘work,’ his hand continuing its aimless motion. Kaeya watched him closely, taking in every detail—the way Diluc’s fingers tapped rhythmically against the desk, how his leg bounced with an almost frantic energy. It wasn’t just restlessness. It was something else, something that set Kaeya on edge.
“Diluc…” Kaeya started, leaning forward slightly, his tone shifting to something more serious. “What’s going on with you?”
Diluc didn’t look up, his pen still scraping against the paper. “I told you,” he muttered, his words slightly slurred. “I’m busy.”
Kaeya frowned, his eyes narrowing. There was something off about the way Diluc spoke, the way he moved. It was uncoordinated, like he was struggling to keep himself in check, to maintain some semblance of normalcy. But he was failing, and it was painfully obvious.
The air in the room felt heavy, oppressive, and Kaeya could hear the faint, repetitive tap-tap-tap of Diluc’s finger against the desk, the sound grating on his nerves. It was so unlike Diluc—he’d always been controlled, composed. But this… this was something else entirely.
The longer Kaeya sat there, the more uncomfortable he felt. It wasn’t just the sight of his brother looking so worn down, so frail—it was the way Diluc seemed to be slipping away right before his eyes, like he was losing himself to something Kaeya couldn’t see.
Kaeya cleared his throat, forcing a smile as he stood up. “Well, I won’t keep you from your… important work,” he said, trying to keep his tone light, even as the unease gnawed at him. “Just don’t forget to eat something, alright? You’re looking a little… thin.”
Diluc didn’t respond, didn’t even acknowledge Kaeya’s words. He just kept staring down at the papers, his hand moving in those endless, meaningless circles.
Kaeya hesitated, his hand resting on the doorknob. He didn’t want to leave things like this, but something told him that pushing Diluc any further tonight would only make things worse. He sighed, turning back to the door. “Goodnight, Diluc,” he said softly, not really expecting a response.
As he opened the door to leave, Kaeya couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that had settled in the pit of his stomach. He was halfway out the door when something made him stop—a nagging feeling that urged him to look back, just one more time.
When he turned around, his breath caught in his throat.
Diluc was staring at the ceiling, his head tilted back, eyes wide and unblinking. There was a strange intensity in his gaze, as if he were watching something only he could see, something that danced just out of reach. His eyes darted back and forth, tracking invisible sparks across the ceiling, and a slow, unsettling smile spread across his lips.
Then, he laughed.
It was a low, loopy sound, completely out of place and utterly disturbing. It wasn’t the laugh Kaeya remembered, the deep, hearty laugh of his brother. This was something else, something hollow, almost manic.
Kaeya’s heart pounded in his chest, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. “Diluc…?” he called out, trying to keep his voice steady, though it was laced with worry. “Is there something on my face, or did I miss the joke?”
But Diluc didn’t answer. Instead, his eyes rolled back into his head, his pupils disappearing beneath his eyelids, and his body began to tremble, the first signs of a violent shake.
Diluc's body convulsed violently, the suddenness of it sending his chair crashing to the floor. Kaeya froze for a split second, his heart skipping a beat as he watched his brother collapse, his once rigid frame now writhing uncontrollably on the cold, unforgiving floor. Diluc’s eyes, still rolled back into his head, showed nothing but white, while foam started to leak from the corners of his mouth, dribbling down his pale, strained cheeks.
Panic seized Kaeya’s throat, choking him. All the knightly training he’d undergone, all the battles he’d fought, none of it had prepared him for this. For watching his brother’s body betray him in such a horrifying, grotesque way. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but the words tangled in his throat, refusing to come out. His mind screamed at him to move, to do something, but he was paralyzed, rooted to the spot by sheer terror.
“Adelinde!” he finally shouted, his voice breaking with fear. It was loud, louder than he’d ever spoken in this house, and it echoed through the halls with a raw, desperate urgency. “Adelinde!”
His heart pounded in his ears, drowning out every other sound as he rushed to Diluc’s side, his hands hovering uselessly over his brother’s seizing form. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to help him. It was fucking terrifying.
Adelinde’s footsteps thundered up the stairs, faster than he’d ever heard her move before. When she burst into the room, her eyes went wide with horror, taking in the scene before her. Kaeya could see the shock, the terror in her usually calm, collected demeanor, but she didn’t freeze like he had. She moved with the quick, efficient grace of someone who’d seen too much and had learned to act on instinct.
“Stay with him,” she commanded, her voice steady despite the fear that laced it. She didn’t wait for Kaeya to respond, turning on her heel and sprinting out of the room, shouting for help as she ran down the stairs, her voice cracking under the strain.
Kaeya knelt beside Diluc, his hands trembling as he reached out to touch him, to try and offer some comfort, some connection. But Diluc was far beyond that now, his body still jerking, though the violent convulsions were starting to subside. His breaths were ragged, labored, as if every inhale was a battle, his lungs fighting against something unseen, something terrifying.
“Diluc… Diluc, please…” Kaeya whispered, his voice thick with emotion. But there was no response, only the faint, erratic rise and fall of Diluc’s chest, each breath sounding more strained than the last.
Minutes passed in a blur, every second feeling like an eternity as Kaeya knelt there, helpless. When Adelinde finally returned, she wasn’t alone. Several people from the Cathedral followed her, their faces grim but resolute. They moved quickly, efficiently, lifting Diluc’s now limp form from the floor and placing him on a stretcher. Kaeya watched with wide, unblinking eyes, his mind still reeling from what he’d just witnessed.
Diluc was no longer shaking, no longer foaming at the mouth. But he was still unconscious, his body unnervingly still. Kaeya couldn’t tell if he was breathing. Panic clawed at him, tearing at his insides, but he forced it down, swallowing the bile that rose in his throat.
As they carried Diluc out of the room, Adelinde turned back to Kaeya, her expression torn between duty and concern. “Kaeya… are you coming with us?”
Kaeya hesitated, his mind racing. He wanted to go, to be there when Diluc woke up, to demand answers. But something else tugged at him, something that whispered in the back of his mind that there was more to this, that he needed to find out what had caused this. He couldn’t shake the image of Diluc’s erratic behavior, the way his brother had looked at the ceiling as if he were seeing something Kaeya couldn’t.
“I’ll join you in a bit,” Kaeya finally said, his voice hoarse. “I’ll be there before he wakes up, I promise.” He pulled Adelinde into a quick, tight hug, something he hadn’t done since they were children. She didn’t question it, only nodded before turning and following the stretcher out of the room, leaving Kaeya alone in the dark, suffocating silence.
As soon as the door clicked shut behind them, Kaeya’s resolve hardened. There had to be a reason for what had just happened. Diluc had never had a seizure before, had never shown any signs of such a condition. This was something new, something sinister, and Kaeya wasn’t about to let it go without answers.
He stormed back into Diluc’s office, his eyes scanning the room with a newfound determination. The room was immaculate, as always, every book on the shelf, every document perfectly in place. But Kaeya wasn’t fooled by the surface calm. He began tearing through the room, his movements frantic, desperate. Books were ripped from shelves, papers scattered across the floor, drawers yanked open with a force that sent them crashing to the ground.
Nothing. There was nothing. No hidden letters, no secret documents, no clue as to what had caused this sudden, terrifying episode. Kaeya growled in frustration, running a hand through his hair as he tried to think, tried to piece together the fragments of his brother’s recent behavior.
His eyes landed on the door to Diluc’s bedroom, slightly ajar. Without hesitation, he pushed it open and stepped inside. The room was a mess, even more so than the office. The bed was unmade, sheets tangled and strewn across the mattress. Cabinets were already open, their contents spilling out onto the floor, and clothes were littered everywhere, as if someone had been searching for something in a hurry. It was unlike Diluc, whose quarters were usually kept with military precision.
Kaeya’s heart pounded in his chest as he scanned the room, looking for anything that might explain the nightmare he’d just witnessed. Then, his eyes caught on something small, something out of place on the table beside Diluc’s bed.
A small bottle.
Kaeya’s breath hitched as he moved closer, his stomach twisting into knots. The bottle was tipped over, the cap unscrewed, and white pills were spilled across the surface of the table, some scattered on the floor, others still in the bottle. His hands trembled as he carefully picked up the bottle, examining it. It was unmarked, no label to indicate what it was, but the pills inside… there were too many. They shouldn’t have been there, not in a place like this, not next to Diluc’s bed.
His eyes flicked around the room, his heart pounding louder in his ears as he began to search in earnest. It didn’t take long to find more. Empty bottles, identical to the one he held, were strewn about the room, hidden beneath the bed, tucked away in drawers, even stuffed into a corner of the closet. Each one a silent testament to the depths Diluc had fallen to.
Kaeya’s breath came in sharp, ragged gasps as the reality of it all began to sink in. Diluc hated drugs. He despised them, pitied those who sought solace in their numb embrace. Kaeya could still hear his brother’s scornful words from years ago, condemning those who chose to poison themselves rather than face their demons head-on. And now, here he was, surrounded by the very thing he claimed to loathe.
“Damn it, Diluc…” Kaeya whispered, his voice breaking under the weight of his emotions. He wanted to scream, to tear the room apart, to unleash his fury on the walls and the floor and everything within reach. He wanted to punch Diluc, to shake him, to demand to know why he’d done this, why he’d turned to this, of all things.
But he didn’t. He couldn’t.
He forced himself to take a breath, deep and shuddering, trying to steady his trembling hands. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe these were just pain medications, something prescribed to help him with the aftermath of his so-called adventure. Or maybe they were sleep aids, something to help him rest, to quiet the nightmares that Kaeya knew plagued him. There had to be an explanation, a reason that didn’t involve the devastating conclusion his mind was jumping to.
But even as he tried to convince himself, the truth gnawed at him, a dark, insidious whisper in the back of his mind. He knew what he’d seen in Diluc’s eyes, what he’d witnessed in that office. This wasn’t just medication. This was something more, something dangerous.
Kaeya clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palms as he fought to keep his composure. He needed to go to the Cathedral, to be there when Diluc woke up. He needed to see his brother’s eyes again, to hear his voice, to ask him what the hell he was doing to himself.
But most of all, Kaeya needed answers.
He took one last look around the room, his gaze lingering on the disarray, on the small, empty bottles that lay discarded like broken promises. Then, with a heavy heart, he turned and left, the small bottle of pills clutched tightly in his hand, a bitter reminder of the darkness that had claimed his brother.
Kaeya arrived at the Cathedral, his boots echoing ominously against the polished marble floors as he made his way down the dimly lit corridor. His breath was heavy, each step a laborious effort as if the weight of what he had just discovered clung to him like a suffocating fog. The bottle of pills he had found in Diluc’s room was a cold, unforgiving lump in his pocket, its presence a constant reminder of the dark truth he had uncovered.
As he turned the corner, his eyes immediately fell on Adelinde. She was sitting on the floor, her back against the wall, just outside one of the infirmary rooms. Her usual poised demeanor was shattered, her figure hunched over, small and fragile, like a flower wilting under a relentless storm. Her head was bowed, her hands trembling as she held them to her chest, and Kaeya could hear the faint, muffled sound of her sobs even from where he stood.
His heart twisted painfully in his chest. Adelinde had been like a mother to them, raising them after Crepus’ death with a stern but loving hand. She was the one constant in their chaotic lives, always there with a gentle smile or a firm word when they needed it most. And now, here she was, broken and vulnerable, reduced to tears by the sight of her beloved Diluc in such a dire state.
Kaeya’s breath hitched as he approached her, his footsteps slower, more hesitant. He knelt beside her, not saying a word as he gently pulled her into his arms, cradling her trembling form against his chest. Adelinde didn’t resist, didn’t even flinch. She just buried her face into his shoulder, her sobs growing louder, more desperate.
“Adelinde…” Kaeya whispered, his voice thick with emotion. He rested his cheek against her head, his arms tightening around her as if he could shield her from the pain, from the reality of what was happening. “I’m here. I’m right here.”
She shook in his embrace, her hands clutching at his shirt as if she were afraid he might disappear, leaving her to face this nightmare alone. Her tears soaked into the fabric of his clothes, but Kaeya didn’t care. He held her close, his own heart breaking with each sob that escaped her lips.
Kaeya’s own tears, hot and unbidden, began to slip down his cheeks, his vision blurring as he fought to keep himself together. He wanted to scream, to yell at Diluc for putting them through this, for making them worry to the point of breaking. He wanted to storm into that room and shake his brother until he woke up, until he explained why the hell he had turned to drugs, to something so destructive, so unlike the Diluc they knew.
But then there was the other part of him, the part that whispered that he should have known. That he should have seen the signs, that he should have been there for Diluc when he needed him most. That it was his failure as a brother that had allowed this to happen. The guilt gnawed at him, tearing at his insides, and he hated himself for it. Hated that he hadn’t done more, that he hadn’t been enough.
Time passed in a blur of grief and silence. The hours dragged on, each minute feeling like an eternity as Kaeya and Adelinde sat there, huddled together outside the infirmary door. Their tears had dried up long ago, leaving behind only the hollow ache of despair. They leaned against each other, motionless, the exhaustion from worry and heartbreak weighing down on them like a heavy shroud. The Cathedral was eerily quiet, the usual bustle of people and activity muted, as if the world itself had stilled in mourning for what had happened.
Three hours had passed before the door finally creaked open. Kaeya’s head snapped up, his heart leaping into his throat as a healer stepped out, her expression serious, but not without a hint of compassion. Adelinde straightened immediately, wiping at her tear-streaked face, though the fear and hope in her eyes were still painfully evident.
“How is he?” Adelinde asked, her voice barely above a whisper. It was raw, hoarse from crying, and it trembled with the weight of her emotions. She clutched Kaeya’s arm, her fingers digging into his skin as if she needed to hold onto something, anything, to keep herself from falling apart.
The healer spoke softly, explaining Diluc’s condition in gentle, clinical terms. She talked about the effects of the seizure, the damage it could cause, and the steps they were taking to ensure his recovery. But Kaeya wasn’t listening. His eyes were fixed on the slight crack in the door, just wide enough for him to catch a glimpse of Diluc’s form lying on the bed inside. He could see the outline of his brother, still and pale, a ghost of the man he once was.
The words of the healer faded into the background, becoming nothing more than a distant hum in his ears. All he could focus on was the sight of Diluc, his once strong and commanding presence reduced to this fragile, vulnerable state. His skin was even paler than before, almost translucent in the dim light of the room, and his chest rose and fell with shallow, uneven breaths. The dark circles under his eyes were more pronounced now, stark against the ashen tone of his skin. He looked younger, somehow, as if the years of pain and burden had peeled away, leaving behind the lost, broken boy Kaeya had once known.
Kaeya’s heart ached as he watched Diluc, his thoughts swirling with a mixture of anger and sorrow. He wanted to rush into the room, to hold his brother, to demand answers, to tell him how much he had hurt them by keeping this from them. But at the same time, he wanted to shield him from the world, to protect him from whatever demons had driven him to this point. He wanted to be the older brother now, to be the one who could carry the weight for once, who could take away the pain.
“You can see him now,” the healer said softly, her voice cutting through the fog of Kaeya’s thoughts. She offered them a small, reassuring smile before stepping aside, allowing them to enter the room.
Kaeya didn’t wait. He was on his feet before the words had fully registered, his heart pounding in his chest as he practically sprinted into the room. The door swung open wide, and there he was, finally at Diluc’s side.
Up close, the sight was even more heartbreaking. Diluc looked so small, so frail lying there on the bed, his fiery red hair splayed out against the pillow like a stark contrast to his pale skin. His breaths were slow, labored, each one a painful reminder of the struggle he had been through. His eyelids were closed, hiding the once vibrant, determined gaze that had always made Kaeya feel both reassured and challenged at the same time. Now, that spark was gone, replaced by a hollow stillness that made Kaeya’s chest tighten with grief.
He reached out, his hand trembling as he gently took hold of Diluc’s. The warmth he expected wasn’t there; instead, Diluc’s skin was cold, clammy, like the life had been drained from him. Kaeya squeezed his hand, trying to offer some semblance of comfort, but it felt like he was grasping at shadows, trying to hold onto something that was slipping away.
“Diluc…” Kaeya whispered, his voice breaking as he finally let the tears fall again. “What have you done to yourself?”
Adelinde entered the room a moment later, her movements slow and hesitant as if she were afraid of what she might find. She settled into the chair next to Kaeya, her eyes locked onto Diluc’s still form, her expression a mixture of sorrow and relief. Without a word, she reached out and placed a hand on Kaeya’s shoulder, a silent gesture of solidarity, of shared pain.
Kaeya didn’t speak. He couldn’t. He just sat there, holding Diluc’s hand, trying to make sense of everything. The anger he had felt earlier, the urge to scream and demand answers, had dulled into a heavy, aching sadness. His mind was filled with questions, with doubts, but for now, all of that was pushed aside. All that mattered was that Diluc was here, alive, even if he was barely hanging on.
Minutes turned into hours as they sat there, watching over him, waiting for some sign that he would wake up, that he would be okay. The Cathedral was quiet, the only sound the faint, steady beeping of the machines monitoring Diluc’s condition. It was a stark contrast to the chaos that had consumed Kaeya earlier, to the frantic search for answers that had led him here.
But now, sitting by his brother’s side, Kaeya realized that the answers could wait. For now, all that mattered was being here, holding his brother’s hand, and silently promising that he would do whatever it took to protect him from now on. Even if that meant shielding him from himself.
The weight of the pill bottle in Kaeya’s pocket was a constant reminder of the truth he had uncovered, of the darkness that had taken hold of his brother. But that was a conversation for another time, another day. For now, Kaeya would just sit here, by Diluc’s side, and hold onto him as tightly as he could, hoping that it would be enough to keep him from slipping away entirely.
The day stretched on like an eternity. Kaeya remained in the chair beside Diluc’s bed, his mind swirling with thoughts he couldn’t quite pin down. Adelinde had left hours ago, her concern etched deeply in every line of her face as she promised to return with fresh clothes for both of them. That left Kaeya alone in the still, sterile room, with nothing but the faint beeping of the monitors and the rise and fall of Diluc’s chest to keep him company.
He hadn’t slept. How could he? Every time he closed his eyes, the image of Diluc seizing on the floor replayed in his mind like some twisted, nightmarish loop. The sight of foam dribbling from his brother’s mouth, the way his body convulsed uncontrollably, haunted Kaeya to the core. And then there was the guilt—the crushing, suffocating guilt that clawed at his insides, reminding him over and over again that he should have seen this coming, that he should have done something before it reached this point.
He rubbed his eyes, trying to ward off the exhaustion that threatened to drag him under, when a faint groan broke the silence. Kaeya’s head snapped up, his heart racing as he turned his gaze to the bed.
Diluc’s eyes were barely open, just narrow slits that reflected the dim light of the room. His lips parted in a small, weak sound, and Kaeya’s breath caught in his throat. He’s awake.
“Diluc?” Kaeya’s voice was hoarse, thick with worry and exhaustion. He leaned forward, placing his hands on either side of Diluc’s face, trying to get a better look at him. “Diluc, can you hear me?”
Diluc’s reaction was sluggish, his movements slow and uncoordinated. His brow furrowed in irritation, and he let out another groan, this time pushing Kaeya’s hands away as if it was the most natural thing in the world. As if nothing had fucking happened.
Kaeya felt a surge of frustration, his patience fraying at the edges. How could Diluc act like this was nothing? Like he hadn’t just nearly died? But he held his tongue, his focus shifting to alerting the healers. He needed to make sure Diluc was stable, that there were no lasting effects from the seizure. He needed to know that his brother wasn’t going to slip away from him again.
Leaving the room for a moment felt like a reprieve, like coming up for air after being submerged in dark, turbulent waters. The cold air of the corridor bit at his skin, and he took a deep breath, trying to clear his mind. He alerted the healers, his words clipped and precise, before leaning against the wall, closing his eyes just for a second.
But the reprieve was short-lived. The healers soon exited the room, offering Kaeya a nod and a few words of reassurance that he didn’t fully process. He was already moving, his feet carrying him back to Diluc’s side as if by instinct.
When Kaeya reentered the room, the sight that greeted him made something deep within him fracture. Diluc was propped up against the pillows, his body appearing even smaller and more fragile in the large hospital bed. His eyes were clear now, fully open, and fixed on Kaeya with a look that sent a sharp, twisting pain through his heart.
It was as if nothing had happened. As if the events of the previous night were just a bad dream, and Diluc was the same stubborn, distant brother he had always been. But Kaeya knew better. He knew that behind those calm, indifferent eyes was a secret that had been festering for who knows how long.
And then something inside Kaeya snapped. The anger, the frustration, the worry—all of it boiled over in an instant, and before he knew what he was doing, he had pulled the small bottle of pills from his pocket and dangled it in front of Diluc’s face.
“What’s this, Diluc?” Kaeya’s voice was low, controlled, but there was a dangerous edge to it, a barely restrained fury that made the air around him crackle with tension.
Diluc’s reaction was immediate and telling. His eyes widened, and for the briefest moment, panic flashed across his features. He reached out instinctively, trying to grab the bottle, but Kaeya was faster. He yanked it out of reach, holding it just high enough that Diluc, weakened as he was, couldn’t hope to snatch it back.
Something shifted in Diluc’s expression then. The panic was replaced by something else—exasperation, maybe, or resignation. He drew his hands back, folding them across his chest as if trying to protect himself from the confrontation, from the truth that Kaeya was forcing into the light. His face fell into an all-too-familiar mask of indifference, his lips curling into a faint, tired smile.
“What is that?” Diluc asked, his voice carefully neutral, as if he hadn’t just tried to take the bottle from Kaeya’s grasp. He even had the audacity to tilt his head slightly, feigning curiosity, as if this was just another trivial matter.
Kaeya could have laughed. The absurdity of it all—the lies, the deception, the way Diluc was still trying to hide even when everything was laid bare in front of him—was almost too much to bear. A bitter, humorless chuckle escaped Kaeya’s lips as he shook his head, the anger and sorrow roiling within him like a storm.
“You know damn well what it is, Diluc,” Kaeya said, his voice tight with suppressed emotion. He dangled the bottle again, making sure Diluc’s eyes were fixed on it, forcing him to acknowledge the truth that was staring him in the face. “So, why don’t you tell me?”
Diluc hesitated, the mask slipping for just a fraction of a second. His eyes flickered with something—a mix of fear and desperation—and his breath hitched slightly as if he were trying to find the right words, the right excuse. But when he spoke, his voice was rushed, stumbling over the words like a child caught in a lie.
“It’s… It’s medicine,” Diluc stammered, his tone unconvincing even to his own ears. He glanced away, avoiding Kaeya’s piercing gaze. “For… for pain.”
Kaeya didn’t react. He simply stared, his expression unreadable, but the intensity in his eyes made it clear that he wasn’t buying any of it. Diluc’s words faltered, and he quickly added, “For migraines. To help me sleep.”
The excuses tumbled out of him, one after another, each more implausible than the last. His speech was hurried, disjointed, as if he were grasping at straws, trying to piece together a story that could somehow explain away the damning evidence Kaeya held in his hand. But the more he talked, the more desperate and pitiful he sounded, and the more Kaeya’s heart ached.
“It’s… It’s for an injury,” Diluc finally said, his voice trembling slightly as he fumbled over the words. He met Kaeya’s gaze then, his eyes wide and pleading, as if hoping that his brother might somehow believe him, might let this go and allow him to keep his secrets.
But Kaeya’s expression didn’t change. He let the silence stretch between them, the tension in the room thickening with each passing second. And then, finally, he spoke, his voice quiet, but laced with an edge that cut straight through Diluc’s lies.
“What is it really, Diluc?” Kaeya’s eyes bore into his brother’s, refusing to let him look away, refusing to let him escape. “Tell me the truth.”
Diluc’s breath caught in his throat. His eyes darted around the room as if searching for an escape, but there was none to be found. The mask of indifference shattered completely, and in its place was raw, unfiltered fear. His mouth opened, a broken, awkward laugh spilling out, but it was hollow, lacking any real humor or confidence. It was the laugh of a man cornered, with nowhere left to run.
“I don’t… I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Diluc mumbled, the words barely audible, as he tried to cling to the last shreds of his facade. But it was no use. The truth was out, hanging in the air between them like a guillotine, ready to fall at any moment.
Before either of them could say another word, the door to the room creaked open, and Adelinde stepped inside. Her presence, usually so comforting, now felt like a stark intrusion into the raw, vulnerable moment between the brothers. Kaeya’s grip on the pill bottle tightened, his heart pounding as he looked over at her, his mind racing with conflicting emotions.
But Diluc… Diluc’s reaction was immediate and telling. The fear that had gripped him only moments ago vanished in an instant, replaced by a carefully crafted calmness, as if he had flipped a switch, shutting down everything he had been feeling. His hands, which had been trembling, now rested casually on his lap, his expression perfectly composed, as though nothing had happened.
“Adelinde,” Diluc said, his voice even, almost too calm, as he turned his gaze towards her.
Adelinde’s breath hitched as she saw Diluc’s tired form, the shadows under his eyes stark against his pale skin. The second she stepped inside the room, Kaeya could see the fear and relief war in her expression. She dropped the fresh clothes she’d brought for him onto the floor and rushed to Diluc’s side, pulling him into a tight embrace as if she could protect him from whatever demons had driven him to this point.
Diluc hesitated, his body stiff and unyielding at first. But then his arms came up, and he awkwardly patted her back, the gentleness in his touch almost painful to witness. Kaeya watched as tears slipped down Adelinde’s cheeks, soaking into Diluc’s hospital gown. It was a heartbreaking, tender moment—one that should have brought a measure of solace to the three of them. But Kaeya’s anger, a dark and simmering thing, would not be quelled so easily.
He clenched his teeth, the bottle of pills still in his grip, and before he could stop himself, he stepped forward, his voice cutting through the quiet like a knife. “What is it, Diluc?”
Adelinde pulled back slightly, her brows knitting together in confusion as she glanced between the two of them. Kaeya didn’t give Diluc a chance to respond. He held up the bottle, letting it rattle loudly as he shook it in front of Adelinde, the pills inside clinking together in a hollow, mocking chorus. The sound seemed to echo in the small room, a cruel reminder of the reality they were all now forced to confront.
“Go on,” Kaeya continued, his tone sharp, almost mocking as he fixed his eyes on Diluc. “Tell her. Tell her what it is.”
Adelinde’s expression crumpled, her hand flying to her mouth as the reality of what Kaeya was suggesting sank in. She turned to Diluc, her eyes wide with a mix of disbelief and heartbreak. “Diluc?” Her voice trembled, the single word carrying the weight of a thousand unspoken fears.
Diluc’s mask of calm cracked under the weight of her gaze. He let out an awkward laugh, the sound grating and hollow as he looked between Adelinde and Kaeya, his mind scrambling for a way out, a way to preserve the carefully constructed facade he had been hiding behind. “I—I don’t know what he’s talking about,” Diluc stammered, his voice wavering as he tried to hold onto his last shred of dignity.
But Adelinde wasn’t so easily fooled. She’d raised Diluc, watched him grow from a boy into the man he was now. She knew him better than anyone, and the look of disappointment that settled on her face was like a dagger to the heart. Her eyes, once filled with love and concern, now reflected only sadness and pain.
“Diluc…” she began, her voice barely above a whisper, but the weight of that single word was enough to shatter whatever resolve Diluc had left. He glanced at her, his eyes wide and pleading, then back at Kaeya, who stood unwavering, his expression cold and unyielding.
Diluc opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He was stuck, cornered, with no excuses left to offer. His breath hitched, and his hands trembled as they moved to cover his face, hiding from the reality that was closing in on him from all sides. He took a shuddering breath, his body seeming to fold in on itself as the weight of his actions pressed down on him, crushing him beneath their unbearable force.
Kaeya’s patience snapped. The anger that had been simmering beneath the surface erupted in a fiery explosion of frustration and hurt. “For Archons’ sake, Diluc, just confess already!” he shouted, his voice raw with emotion. “Tell us the truth! Stop hiding behind your lies!”
Adelinde flinched at the harshness in Kaeya’s tone, but she quickly stepped in, placing a calming hand on his arm, her own emotions held tightly in check. “Kaeya, please,” she whispered, her voice thick with unshed tears. “Let him speak.”
The room fell into a tense, suffocating silence. Kaeya’s chest heaved with the effort to contain his anger, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. He stared at Diluc, willing him to say something—anything—that would make this situation less unbearable, less tragic. But the silence dragged on, each second stretching into an eternity.
Finally, Diluc spoke, his voice barely audible, a fragile whisper that seemed on the verge of breaking at any moment. “It’s a drug,” he confessed, his words falling like stones into the quiet of the room. “I don’t even know the name…”
Adelinde’s breath caught, and Kaeya’s heart twisted painfully in his chest. He wanted to look away, to block out the sight of his brother—so strong and proud—reduced to this trembling, broken figure before him. But he couldn’t. He owed it to Diluc to hear him out, to listen to the truth, no matter how much it hurt.
“It was supposed to be a pain medication,” Diluc continued, his voice trembling as he spoke. “Something you take after a severe injury. You’re only supposed to take one pill… once a day.”
His hands dropped from his face, and he stared blankly at the wall, his expression distant, as if he were reliving the moments that had led him to this point. “But… one wouldn’t work,” he said, his voice hollow. “So I took two… and then three… and then four…”
Kaeya’s stomach churned with each word, the cold reality of Diluc’s situation sinking in like a lead weight in his gut. This was worse than he had imagined, worse than anything he could have prepared himself for.
“And more recently, five.” Diluc chuckled coldly, the sound bitter and self-loathing. “I guess the fifth one’s what put me here.”
Adelinde’s sob broke through the air like a sudden storm, loud and broken, the sound of a mother’s heart shattering for the child she couldn’t protect. She buried her face in her hands, her body shaking with the force of her grief. Kaeya’s throat tightened, his own tears threatening to spill over as he watched the woman who had raised them both crumble under the weight of Diluc’s confession.
But Kaeya couldn’t look away from Diluc. His brother sat there, his head bowed, his once proud shoulders slumped as if the weight of his sins had finally crushed him. His hands trembled, his eyes dull and lifeless, the fire that had once burned so fiercely within him now reduced to ashes.
Kaeya wanted to scream, to rage at the unfairness of it all, to demand why Diluc—who had always been so strong, so steadfast—had allowed himself to fall into this abyss. But all the anger, all the fury drained out of him in an instant, leaving behind only a deep, aching sorrow.
He moved closer to Diluc, his steps slow and hesitant, as if he were afraid that any sudden movement might shatter what little remained of his brother. When he finally reached the side of the bed, he reached out, taking one of Diluc’s hands in his own. The gesture was small, almost insignificant, but it was all Kaeya could offer in that moment.
“We’ll figure this out, Diluc,” Kaeya said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. The words felt inadequate, hollow even, but they were all he had. “We’ll get through this. Together.”
Diluc didn’t respond. He didn’t even look up. But Kaeya could feel the slightest pressure in the hand he held, the faintest acknowledgment of his words, of his presence. It was enough for now.
Adelinde moved closer, her sobs subsiding into soft, broken breaths. She gently placed a hand on Kaeya’s shoulder, squeezing it in silent thanks for his support, before turning her tear-streaked face to Diluc. “We’re here for you, Diluc,” she whispered, her voice tender, maternal. “We’ll help you through this, no matter what.”
The room was filled with a heavy silence, the weight of everything that had been said and everything that had yet to be said pressing down on them.