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"It doesn't make sense!" Goshujin-sama complains, slapping the table in frustration. "Happiness is a thing we just are, why does he have to be so determined to be happy?"
"I don't know, but he is." It's the same question they've been debating for months and Tobirama rubs his forehead, trying to make what feels like the permanent headache he's been carrying around go away. "His chakra doesn't match his face, he's hiding something all the time, I just can't figure out what."
"Ugh." Strong fingers take over, massaging his temples, and Tobirama sighs with relief at his husband's touch. "We're both sensors, we're smart people, why is this so hard!"
"Because it's Izuna, that's why." The answer is obvious and he laughs under his breath at goshujin-sama's disgruntled hum of agreement. "He doesn't avoid me, he doesn't avoid you, he just won't be in the same room with both of us."
"He will though? He'll eat with us, he'll work with us, he just won't - " goshujin-sama's hands freeze and Tobirama can feel the spike of alarm in his husband's chakra.
"What," he grips goshujin-sama's wrist. "What is it."
"... he just won't be near us when I kiss you." The words come out slowly, with all the force of an unwelcome revelation. "Oh gods. He's in love with you."
"He's not, he can't be," Tobirama argues back. "I told him I loved you before I told anyone else, even before I told my brother, and he never said a word against it. He encouraged me!"
"Because he already knew I was in love with you." Goshujin-sama sounds absolutely horrified, and well he should be if this is the truth. "Because he wanted us to be happy. Even at a cost to himself."
Oh gods.
That... that is like Izuna.
In fact, it's exactly what Izuna would do.
What have they done!
"I have to talk to him." Tobirama stands up and heads for the door, already kneading chakra to search for his best friend, when a hand on his shoulder stops him.
"No, it should be me." Goshujin-sama's voice is firm, unyielding. "I'm his brother. More, I'm the man who took you away from him."
"Absolutely not." Tobirama meets those dark eyes with his own glare. "This is my choice, and I'm not about to be something the two of you fight over!"
He doesn't expect the shove, just enough to get him out of the way while goshujin-sama dashes past him for the door, and Tobirama curses the way peace has dulled his instincts. That would never have worked during the war, not with any Uchiha, but not for nothing is he known as the fastest shinobi in Hi no Kuni. He reaches out for the Hiraishin marker closest to Izuna's location and pulls, hurling himself through time and space to appear just in front of a closed shoji.
"That is cheating!" It's a yell as goshujin-sama tackles him, and the two of them go crashing through the thin paper, rolling across the tatami in a confused tangle of kicking legs and pushing arms.
"What the - ?” They both freeze at the sound of Izuna's startled exclamation, and Tobirama looks up into the pattern of a spinning sharingan that he knows as well as he knows himself.
Even if he didn't know the heart of the man who carries it.
"Izuna, I'm sorry we disturbed you." That's the least of the apologies Tobirama owes his friend and he pauses, unsure how to proceed.
"You're in love with my wife!" Goshujin-sama seems to feel no such hesitation however, and Izuna goes white at the accusation.
"Goshujin-sama!" Tobirama yanks hard on his husband's hair, a silent reprimand, before leaping up to grab his friend, knowing that Izuna will flee if he doesn't. "Izuna, wait."
"... why." Izuna looks away, out into the moonlit garden, and the expression of shame on his face is one Tobirama never wants to see again. "I should go."
"That's the last thing you should do." Goshujin-sama's arms wrap around Izuna's waist, dragging him down onto the tatami where they can pin him securely between them. "Izuna, it's fine."
"How can it possibly be fine," Izuna hisses furiously, held firmly within their embrace. "Tobirama is your wife! I'm in love with him! And you! The whole situation is crazy!"
Oh.
Tobirama blinks, the pieces of the puzzle they'd been trying to put together suddenly snapping into alignment to make a hitherto unknown picture.
"That's why you should marry us." He gets twin bewildered stares, but he's never let that stop him before and he doesn't let it stop him now. "Think about it. You love us both, I love you both, goshujin-sama loves both of us. Why should we not be married? It's the logical outcome."
"You and your logic, Amaterasu help us all." Goshujin-sama rolls his eyes, before taking Izuna's hand and tangling their fingers together. "Izuna, I do love you. Both of you. What do you want to do?"
"... you can't be serious." Izuna looks incredibly dubious but there's the slightest glimmer of hope in his eyes, Tobirama can see it. "You'd be willing to marry both of us? For me to marry Tobirama? That's an insane idea!"
"Izuna, I agreed to peace with our ancestral enemies. I helped to build a shinobi village." Goshujin-sama is grinning and his love feels like the rising sun - warm and unstoppable. "I married a Senju. How is marrying you crazier than any of that?"
"... if you don't already know, then I'm not going to be the one to tell you." Izuna may grumble but there's the tiniest smile on his face as he leans into his brother, and Tobirama exhales with relief. "You're just lucky that I apparently love crazy people."
"Yes, we are." Tobirama bends down and claims his best friend's lips for the first time. "Very lucky indeed."