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“What’s goin on with you, Mac?”
Those words seemed to ignite something within him. A weird, unbridled anger took hold.
“What’s going on with me? What’s going on with you? Since I first met you, it’s been your job to keep me safe. You were my Overwatch in the army and you appointed yourself my bodyguard at DXS and The Phoenix. I can understand that. You got paid for that. You got paid to keep me safe and out of harms way. But now? We’re out. There’s nothing anymore. There’s no imminent threat or— or man with a gun pointed in my direction. You’re not getting paid for it anymore. You weren’t even getting paid enough to almost die nearly every day, and god knows I’m not paying you anything. I just don’t understand how you can continually put your life on the line for me.”
Jack stayed silent for a moment, letting Mac’s words wash over him, before finally speaking.
“It’s not about the money, Hoss. It ain’t ever been about the money. Sure, signin up in the first place, money was nice when bein fresh outta school, and yeah, it was a job for a while. But meetin you? Pain in my ass for a little while, and lookin out for ya was literally my job. Comin back? It wasn’t for the money. Bein with ya at the Phoenix? That wasn’t for the money either. It was for you.”
The anger holding on to Mac fell.
“Everythin after those first couple months on the sandbox, it’s been for you. Yeah, the money was nice and all, but if you wanted to up and go AWOL, or just stop everythin from the Phoenix all together at any point— money don’t got anythin on yer happiness. If someone told me I’d have to live out the rest of my life without ever seein a single penny again in order for you to be happy and content with yer life, I’d do it. If I had to go live in the godforsaken sandbox until I died, just to see a smile on yer face, I’d go all in.
“And, yeah, maybe lookin out for you is a job, but it certainly ain’t the kind yer thinkin bout right now.”
Jack’s words were said with such certainty, so matter of factly, that it left Mac with zero room to doubt or argue, yet it was said with such simplicity, that he felt stupid for even attempting to try to doubt them. They were words that were soft, words that weren’t meant to be said in more than just a whisper, and yet it was like Jack was shouting at him, trying to make sure they actually sunk in to his very being.
The thing was, Jack knew Mac needed to hear it.
Mac knew that Jack knew he needed to hear it.
It had been something that was engraved in Mac’s subconscious for such a long time.
Jack got up from where he was sitting and closed the gap between them. His hand went to the back of Mac’s neck and pulled him forward so their foreheads were resting against each other.
“Yer not a burden, and ya never were. Ya ain’t perfect, but neither is anyone else. And I will admit, it’s a bit of a handful sometimes, but I got two perfectly good hands to hold ya with.”
Mac felt his eyes start to sting.
“Ya ain’t gonna get rid of me anytime soon. Lookin after you is a full time job and I’m always gonna be workin overtime. Remember, you go kaboom, I go kaboom.”
Mac tried to blink away oncoming tears, but they started flowing down his cheeks with no hope of stopping.
“C’mere.” Jack pulled him into a hug, and Mac gripped the back of his shirt like his life depended on it.
“Sorry. I’m sorry.”
Jack gently shushed him. “None of that. Nothin to apologize for.”
“I— I shouldn’t—”
“No, Mac, no. It’s alright. You’ve had yer emotions bottled up for so long, was only a matter of time before the cork shot off and everythin came pourin out. Ain’t no shame in it. Only thing wrong with it is ya shouldn’t of had to. Ya shoulda been able to cry, or shout, or laugh whenever ya wanted. Ya shoulda been able to ask for help, but you were robbed of alla that.
“I wanna let ya know that you can do all that with me. Ain’t no need to shove everythin into a bottle, or compartmentalize anymore. You wanna laugh, scream, cry— hell even if you wanna take a swing at somethin, I’ll be here to do it all with ya.”
Mac sniffled. “I know.”
“You ever need somethin, you just gotta ask.”
“You’re here.”
Jack rubbed circles on Mac’s back. “I’m here, and I ain’t gonna go anywhere without you.”
“Thank you.”
“Yer welcome.”
“We’re a team.”
“Now until the end.”