Chapter Text
“I was going to tell you, I promise.”
“When? After you made that whole speech about not hiding who I am?”
“Jesper I’m sorry but there’s more to it than me running away because I felt like it-”
“I trust you Wylan, I’d trust you with my life. Don’t you? Did I do something?”
“I do trust you just-” That was when Wylan had tried to reach for Jespers hand, Jesper had pulled it back and stepped away from Wylan. Wylan’s mouth shut at Jespers reluctance, he didn’t finish whatever he was going to say.
“I just- don’t want to talk to you right now, I don’t know how to feel about any of this.” Jesper had said, he needed to think about everything. Wylan looked hurt, Jesper just looked away from him. “Okay.” He’d heard Wylan say softly before hearing the sound of him walk away. Jesper had simply turned to the other direction, away from Wylan.
—
It had been two weeks since that conversation, since Kaz had told Jesper and Nina about Wylan’s father. Inej probably knew as well, she’d probably known before she left and no one had bothered to tell Jesper anything. He’d told Wylan he didn’t know how he felt, right now he just felt cold. Cold and confused in his bed, without Wylan.
He was still angry at Wylan but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t mind Wylan being there.
Jesper still cared about him. But maybe Wylan didn’t know that. Jesper rubbed his eyes and stared at his window. It was probably nearing 7 bells, he’d needed to meet Kaz at 8.
Jesper groaned and rolled his way out of bed, eventually finding and putting in some clothes Nina would call “atrocious” but Jesper would call it “charming”. Jesper was thankfully able to leave his room with enough time to make it to the meeting point.
—
After walking a block or so he spotted Nina leaning against the building of a restaurant she seemed to be obsessed with, Nina smiled and tipped her hat at Jesper once he was close enough.
“I stopped by for breakfast and figured you’d pass by.” Jesper gave her a half smile and kept walking once she’d matched his pace beside him. “You could at least thank me for giving you company- you don’t have to be so gloomy just because you're mad at your boyfriend.”
Jesper elbowed her lightly. “Hey, I don’t ever complain when you daydream aloud about your fjerdan.” Jesper hoped Nina couldn’t tell how her comment had made his stomach twist. Jesper had never even called Wylan his boyfriend. He’d continuously avoided anything that sounded too official, and now he really wished he hadn’t.
Couples argued, they argued but they stayed together and worked it out slowly. Jesper had never thought of them being a couple, maybe he was a coward for that. Wylan had kissed him, taken him out and had even started moving in with him, and Jesper had remained a coward.
“Jesper?”
Jesper snapped out of his thoughts and looked over at Nina. “What?”
“Didn’t you hear anything I said?” Jesper didn’t answer and Nina scoffed. “Well I had thought of a pretty witty insult and told you a piece of information but now you will not be hearing either.” She dramatically quickened her pace to walk ahead of him.
Jesper rolled his eyes and caught up with hey. “Sorry, gorgeous, I’m all ears.”
Nina eyed him before sighing. “Apparently Wylan’s been receiving letters from his father, all begging him to come home.”
“Oh.” Was all Jesper managed to say, he nearly stopped in his tracks but stayed beside Nina.
“He might have been lying when he told you there was more to it.” Nina said reluctantly. “I heard he’d gotten caught snogging his tutor-”
“What?” Jesper half-shouted, his voice sounding a little high pitched in shock.
Nina snorted. “Seems like you both had your romantic endeavors before you met.”
Jesper suddenly stopped in his tracks. “You said his fathers been sending him letters?”
Nina tilted her head, confused. “Yes, unless there’s some rich merchant way he’s been secretly communicating with Wylan without being present I’d assume he’s been sending letters. Why?”
Jesper started walking again. “No reason- it’s nothing.”
Nina pursed her lips, possibly considering asking Jesper more, then she only shrugged. “Well- it’s my turn to complain about my love life then. Apparently Matthias-”
Jesper zoned out again after that, he felt a bit bad about it but he also had no information about Matthias Nina would be interested, so there was no need for him to comment during her rant.
Eventually the two of them made it to the meeting point, an odd building that was being renovated to be the new crow club.
Nina and Jesper quickly moved through the crowds of people and up the stairs to Kaz’s office. He didn’t bother knocking, he knew Kaz didn’t appreciate that but he didn't mind annoying him.
Wylan was already there, sitting down on one of the three chairs surrounding the table Kaz stood at. He looked a bit paler than usual. He hadn’t looked up at Jesper or Nina when they’d entered, his eyes were fixed on the notebook he seemed to be scribbling in, so Jesper tried not to look at him.
“What business, Kaz?” Nina asked before Jesper could.
“An offer has come up, we’re going to need money.”
Jesper raised his eyebrows and pulled one of the chairs out from the table and sat down. “So who are we stealing from?” He asked as Nina sat down in the last chair between him and Wylan.
“The Van Verent’s.” Kaz said with no explanation.
“Any reason why?” Nina asked, scratching out her words.
“No one will care if Van Verent loses any money, there’s already rumors surrounding him, he’s bound to lose his good reputation and lose all his money, we’re only speeding up the process- so Wylan says.” Nina and Jesper briefly glanced over at Wylan, who hardly reacted. “Wylan who also knows the layout of Van Verents warehouse.”
“Not that well.” Wylan finally spoke. All eyes turned to him, he raised his head and looked around. “Just don’t ask about anything past the first floor.” He went back to sketching, which Jesper now assumed was a map of the warehouse.
“Which is all we need, right?” Jesper asked, leaning back a bit in his chair.
Kaz nodded briefly. “It should be-”
“It’s easier breaking into those buildings than breaking out,” Nina interrupted. “these merchants like to catch you in the act rather than prevent it and not have any proof, does Wylan know how to break out of the warehouse?” Nina looked over to her side. “I’m assuming you were invited in.”
Wylan pressed his lips together. “I was, but if we need resources quickly this is our best bet.”
The room filled with silence for only a few moments, Jesper sighed and spoke. “What do you want us to steal?”
Kaz looked down at Jesper. “Guns, bombs, anything useful we can sell.”
“What’s it for?”
“I mentioned the Jurda Parem a few weeks ago, there’s something much bigger in store involving it, and it will involve us.”
Nina sighed. “Kaz, how do we know Parem is even real? Many people think it’s a rumor and that the rogue Grisha at the coronation was just to scare people.”
“Nina it doesn’t matter what many people think, all that matters is one person is paying us.”
Nina and Jesper exchanged a glance. “When will you need us?” Jesper asked.
“Tonight, 10 and a half bells.”
Jesper gazed around the room, waiting to see if there was anything else to be said, Nina pushed her chair away from the table and stood up nodding at Jesper to follow her out. Jesper slowly stood up from the table to follow her, before he stepped out he gazed at Wylan, Jesper felt his breath nearly hitch when he saw Wylan looking right at him, his brown eyes searching. Jesper felt Nina tug him out of the room a split second later.
“You’re not going to get any answers by mindlessly staring at him.”
—
That night, Jesper and Kaz had snuck through the back window of the warehouse, Wylan and Nina had gone through a different entrance. There were more people outside who would transport the supplies once they’d gotten to it.
“Have you found anything?” Kaz whispered as Jesper looked around.
“Only that Van Verents workers are horrible at storing things, all this is a fire hazard.”
“Just get the explosives Jesper.”
Jesper grinned but did what Kaz said, they were slowly moving crate after crate out through the window. Jesper lifted another box and held it out to Kaz, he nearly dropped it when Kaz’s arms fell to his sides.
“Do you smell smoke?”
Jesper squinted and looked, through the near pitch darkness he saw the small rise of smoke.
“That’s where Wylan and Nina should be.” He heard himself say, then he heard a thump, a crash, and after a moment, an explosion.
He and Kaz started running, a pet of Jesper wanted to run in the opposite direction, was Nina okay, was Wylan? What had started the commotion? But Jesper forced himself to not walk toward the fire and the alarm that had just sounded. Jesper followed Kaz back through the alleyways around buildings where no one would see them.
“Where are the others?” Jesper practically shouted, they’d been running with no answer and no sign of their friends for too long.
“If they listened properly they should be right behind us.” Kaz said, straightening his coat. Jesper felt a slight urge to punch him, he knew now wasn’t the time but did he really have no worry at all for their friends? If Jesper had been the one near the explosion would Kaz have cared so little about him?
“Kaz!” A voice echoed through the alleyway, a silhouette emerged from the other side. Jesper felt a rush of relief seeing Nina’s angry expression.
Jesper looked over her shoulder, his heart finally went back to beating normally when he saw Wylan a few paces behind her. “Your arm is on fire.”
“Shit.” Wylan said as he shook of his coat, the coat that somehow had caught fire and been unnoticeable enough for so long. Wylan’s coat fell to the ground and he stomped on it until the flame went out. Wylan quickly put his coat back on, not quick enough for Jesper to notice the burn that had formed on his arm.
“Thanks for waiting on us, Brekker.” Nina said, gritting her teeth.
“You seem fine now, which one of you started the outburst?” Kaz said, ignoring Nina’s anger.
Wylan stepped beside Nina. “Neither of us, the crates are just stored really unorganized.”
Jesper crossed his arms. “See, that’s what I said who on earth puts fire hazards next to dynamite-”
“You’re saying the fire just started on its own.” Kaz said, glaring accusingly at Wylan.
Nina put her hands on her hips. “He’s not lying Kaz- maybe something happened when everything was being moved around but if it’s anyone’s fault it isn’t ours.” Nina and Kaz glared at each other for a few moments, Jesper sighed loud enough for them to hear.
“We stole enough, didn’t we? And we burned down some spoiled merchants warehouse in the process. We don’t need to point fingers at anyone.”
Kaz snarled but he turned around and kept walking through the alley. “We should get back to make sure everything got back properly.”
Nina groaned and followed Kaz, Jesper walked beside her but looked over his shoulder at Wylan briefly, he seemed to be looking at his now slightly burnt coat sleeve. Jesper felt a twist of worry, if Wylan wasn’t alright he probably wasn’t going to ask for help.
—
The moment Jesper had confirmed that everything made it in one piece, his gaze darted around the crow club for Wylan.
He spotted him in his own corner, he wasn’t speaking to anyone and even seemed to be trying to purposely keep his coat on so no one would see his arm.
“Wylan.” He called through the noise of the club, Wylan’s head turned slightly, then he grabbed his things and started making his way to the exit. Jesper called his name again, he knew Wylan had heard him, but was being stubborn.
Wylan was already walking down the street when Jesper caught up to him, he lightly grabbed a hold of his arm before remembering it was the one with the burn. Wylan winced and turned around sharply towards Jesper.
“What?” He spat.
Jesper motioned toward his arm. “Are you okay? I saw you burned it.”
Wylan was already preparing to turn away. “I’m fine, you don’t need to act like it matters to you.”
“What are you-” Wylan begun walking away. “Wylan!” Jesper shouted, he quickened his pace, taking a hold of Wylan’s wrist on his other arm this time. “Wylan if you hurt yourself we should tell Nina to-”
“Didn’t you hear what I said?” Wylan’s voice didn’t sound entirely angry, Jesper couldn’t pinpoint whatever else it was. Wylan was still walking away, Jespers hand still wrapped around his wrist.
“Wylan I was upset you lied- just because I was angry doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you. It doesn’t mean I don’t love-”
Both Jesper and Wylan stopped in their tracks, Jesper hadn’t even processed the words as they nearly left his mouth. Love? Did he love Wylan? When was the last time Jesper had loved someone like that? Wylan was sweet and smart and breathtaking. Jesper knew he’d do anything for him but sometimes couldn’t understand why he felt that way.
Was the answer really that simple? Nina had said Wylan’s father sent him letters, why would he if Wylan couldn’t read? There was more to it, he had to know. He needed this- most of all he needed Wylan.
Because without realizing Jesper had fallen in love with him.
“I love you, Wylan.” He said slowly. “That didn’t change when I heard about your father.” Jesper tried to speak with all the sincerity he felt.
Wylan exhaled slowly, then he narrowed his eyes. “Sure you do.” He said sourly.
Wylan left, and Jesper found he couldn’t move, his mind shouted at him to run after Wylan and beg him to believe him or kiss him until he could understand. But Jesper couldn’t move. And the boy he was in love with was gone.