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waves lapped against the side of the boat. gillion sighed as he stretched his legs out, dangling over the railing, where he sat, looking out at the water.
it was a calm evening.
sometimes calm evenings were the worst. they'd just left edison kingdom, and their newest crew member, alphonze, stood on the deck awkwardly, looking around as if he wasn't sure what he was supposed to be doing.
and gillion would've surely helped him out a bit, by pointing out every single fish he could name in the clear waters that night, but jay got to the robot first, and so gillion continued to gaze at the horizon.
as soon as they'd set off, away from the kingdom, chip had gone downstairs, yawning so hard he looked as if he was about to pass out on the spot, his new bandanna wrapped firmly around his head.
gillion stayed away from him.
it had seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but every time he looked at chip's hand, he felt a strange sort of unease rise inside of him, his stomach turning over as though he was riding a particularly nasty current.
unconsciously, he flexed his own hand, turning it over so he could stare at his fingers.
scars littered the back of his hand, and gillion could recount the story behind each one. he squeezed his hand into a fist, save for the finger that chip had just lost, and held it up to the sky, watching the setting sun blur around it.
and he swallowed as he remembered the blade coming down on chip's finger, slicing through his flesh and bone too easily. gillion was no stranger to injuries. hell, their crew didn't know the half of it.
but something about chip's finger falling away with such ease made his throat close, and he fixed his gaze on the horizon, stretching endlessly in front of the albatross .
the sword that hung by his side had sliced through chip's skin and bone only a day prior. it was an odd sensation that buzzed under his skin, a mix of shame and guilt that coursed through his veins and stopped up his throat, threatening to squeeze the air out.
next to him, ollie stretched out his too-long arms, and leaned against the ship's railing, looking out at the sea as well.
and gillion looked over, startled. "how come you aren't with chip?" he asked, still not used to the boy being so much taller than him. "wouldn't you prefer to be down there? keeping him company?"
"he actually told me to come up an' find you." ollie looked down at him, and gillion blinked in response.
"really?" gillion furrowed his eyebrows. "i wonder what for.."
huffing out a little laugh, ollie stretched out his fingers, pointing out to gillion the very finger that he'd cut off of chip. "whaddya think?" he wiggled the finger cheerfully, a little grin crossing his face. "i think he just wants t'talk to you a bit. make sure you're fine. don't tell him but i've been thinkin.. he's not as bad as he says he is, yknow?"
a little grin crossed gillion's face, and he patted ollie's shoulder —he was too tall to do anything else— and turned away from the ocean, daring to brave seeing chip.
"make sure you get something to eat as well," gillion remembered to tell ollie. "we need you at your best, especially after your first adventure with us. go and check what kind of juice earl is making, and if it is good.. bring some to me."
a smile stretching across his face, ollie gave a goofy salute, and dashed off. gillion exhaled, as he turned back to face the doors that lead to where chip was.
for some reason, he was nervous. he had battled countless monsters, above sea and below sea. he was a champion, damn it! and yet the thought of having to see chip's mechanical finger, set there by the actions of his own blade in the heat of the moment- made him want to retract his head inside his armour and wither away.
the consequences of his actions... gillion shivered. the scariest opponent of all.
the door creaked open as gillion stuck his head inside, heading down to their room, the one that he shared with jay and chip.
jay's bed was bolted to the wall, on the opposite side, away from chip and gillion. she'd left the sheets a mess, hanging precariously over the dirty floor, her clothes in a rumpled heap atop her pillows.
chip and gillion slept in the same area of the room, chip's bed bolted to the wall just like jay had hers. his sheets were pushed back to the foot of his bed, and he lay there, eyes closed, mouth open, as though he'd just fallen asleep while waiting for gillion.
gillion stepped around his barrel to make his way over to chip, dipping his hand in the water as he moved for some semblance of comfort.
placing a hand on chip's shoulder, he shook him gently, determinedly looking anywhere but at the amputated finger.
chip woke with a snort and a grunt, and blinked up at gillion, drool dripping from the corner of his mouth.
"ew-" gillion muttered, removing his hand.
"wh- what?" chip sat up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, groggily rubbing his eyes. "sorry dude. must've dozed off for a second."
"i didn't know you could also produce water," gillion said, his eyebrows furrowed. "what was that?"
"huh? oh, like drool? i dunno man, shit just comes from my mouth. hey, i wanted to like- actually talk to you about something."
and dread began to pool once more.
"if this is about what happened," gillion started. "i don't know what to say, chip- i-i- acted rashly. this was not a joking matter, it was a part of your body and i-" he broke off, unsure of how to word the uncomfortable feeling growing inside him. "i broke your trust. i said that we would find another way, and i was wrong, and because of me, you were hurt and- and- damaged, and it's not that i do not think you aren't any more capable without a missing finger, i just grieve at the fact that it was done by my own hand, because i was supposed to be your ally."
chip's eyes widened, and gillion finally cut himself short, swallowing down the rest of his words. "hey-" chip started, exhaling slightly with a slight grin on his face. "i don't- i don't blame you, y'know. sure, yeah, it was my finger, but it was like- the least important one. also i didn't really see any other way outta there. i know i said i had a plan and all that, but the truth is gillion-" he lowered his voice, leaning in, his white shirt stretching as he moved "i didn't really know what else to do. i think any other plan i would've had might've been caught by that guy and so- if i needed to lose a finger, i lost a finger. it's fine, really."
"are you saying that honestly, or are you just saying that to placate me?" gillion asked back, sitting down at the edge of chip's bed. "sorry i'm getting your sheets wet by the way."
"it's fine-" chip said absently. "they'll dry. and i am being serious. a little bit. sorta. i mean a finger is a lot, and i'm honestly trying not to think about it. or just like- get used to this new one that i've got."
and he held up his hand, and for the first time, gillion properly looked at the mechanical pinkie that chip was gifted, looked at the smooth steel appearance, and the gold accents carved carefully into it.
"it's pretty." gillion muttered, his eyes roaming across it. "how does it work?"
chip shrugged, making his mechanical finger bend. "i've got no clue. kinda wish it did something cool like shoot a laser out of the top though. that would be fuckin' awesome. but for now it's just a normal ass finger. made of metal. here, check it out."
and he placed his hand on top of gillion's hand, the warmth from his palm contrasted by the cold metal of the prosthetic.
"you can't feel anything here right?" gillion asked, pressing the tip of his steel finger lightly. "no nerves or anything?"
chip shook his head. "nah, not really." he pointed at where his skin met the prosthetic and said, "this is the furthest i can feel something. the rest of it's kinda empty. sometimes i'll bang it on something, and i'll think that it hurt, but i think that's like a medical phenomenon. phantom finger or something like that. without my brain playin' tricks on me? doesn't feel like anythin'."
gillion ran his finger down the carved metal slowly, deep in thought. from the corner of his eye, he saw chip shiver almost slightly, as if a gust of wind had blown past a puddle and made it ripple.
"i thought you said you could not feel it?" gillion asked, his voice low. the guilt resting at the back of his throat had yet to dissipate, and gillion was doing his best to ignore it. "why did you shake a bit?"
"ah- i mean, it's kinda weird, having you touch me, and not being able to feel it at all. kinda feels like a part of my brain's turned off."
dropping chip's hand like it was burning him, gillion's cheeks warmed, and he coughed. "should i stop?"
"i mean if you wanna, go ahead. i just wanted to make sure you were like- fine, i guess. you seemed like you got into your own- your own head, and i wanna make sure everything's like, cool between us. because it is, you know. i'm not mad or anythin'. i knew it had to be done, and we got out of there fine. it's just a finger."
gillion gave a little sigh, and nudged one of chip's real fingers with his own. "i feel shame. and guilt. and i do not know if that will go away any time soon. i feel responsible for your injury.. and i think- i think it will take some time for me to become adjusted to it. is that strange to feel, even if it was not my finger, but yours instead? my sword will carry your blood for the rest of time, and for that i cannot forgive myself."
"i've already bled on your sword though," chip pointed out, his hand twitching in gillion's grasp, but not pulling it back. "we had that whole battle and you cut me up. so it's really fine."
not replying, gillion only rubbed chip's hand with his thumb, making slow circles as he thought. chip's hand was warm against his, the cold metal slowly becoming warmer while he was holding his hand. and he moved his fingers to press gently against chip's knuckles, hesitating at the intersection of flesh and metal, before pressing there as well, with a gentleness that a weapon could only dream of having.
and he could hear chip breathing quietly, but not saying anything, and gillion traced the grooves of the prosthetic. "it's pretty." he said. "i could not expect anything better from this kingdom. and it suits you."
chip grinned, an awkward, crooked smile that took up his face and bunched up his cheeks. "right? i think it's pretty sick. makes me look badass. like ooh who's that guy with the missing finger? better stay out of his way. he looks dangerous and hot and cool. bet he's the best pirate around, huh? i bet when lizzie sees this she'll get all shocked and surprised and ask me what happened and i'll be like oh it's no big deal lizzie you gotta do what you gotta do."
letting chip take his hand back, gillion could feel the unease in his stomach subside as he stood, finally at peace with the aftermath of visiting edison kingdom.
"have you talked to alphonze yet?" gillion mentioned, as they headed up the stairs, chip standing and walking after him. "i wonder if we could ask him to speak in an undersea accent. to help me feel more at home on land."
"dude, no fucking way i'm gonna let you do that. i want the guy to speak like he's from the fuckin’ west."