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29 umber, 1485
dear jay,
i know you just left, but i can’t keep the news to myself for very long.
my period is late.. really late. i think i’m pregnant.
and i really think we should keep them, and start a family together. i know your work is important for you, but i think that this would really start the next phase of our life together. when you come back, let’s talk more about this.
i really want you to be just as excited about our children as i am. we might be a little young for this, i know, and i know you want me to live my life before we even think about settling down but i think the truth is that this is part of what i’ve wanted all along. and i think that starting it early isn’t so bad.
anyway, my days without you have been tiring, to say the least. my mother keeps me busy, but i know she’s really upset with me right now.
you can imagine why.
aside from that, she keeps me busy, in the back of our tavern. she’s been getting frazzled lately, and i’m worried about her. i hope this news doesn’t affect her too badly. i should look into learning how to help her, calm her down a bit.
she’s been talking a lot about the trees, and telling me stories about their magics, when she isn’t as angry at me.
the birds are beginning to trust me once again. i think you scared them off when you tried to make friends with them last week, and they haven’t quite forgiven me for bringing you around. but don’t worry, i’ll make sure they love you as much as i do.
it’s easy to do, loving someone like you.
i hope my mother comes around as easily as the birds will. i think you’ll have to put in some more of your effort.
but i’m not worried. i’m sure that everything will turn out alright in the end. with you, it always seems to somehow.
the tavern is busy these days, full of folks that seem to come from all over mana. it makes me miss you even more, despite you having left so recently. i promised myself i wouldn’t get emotional in this one, but i think it’s the pregnancy hormones already kicking in.
i’m really worried for your reaction. not that i think you’ll react badly or anything, but i think that you’ll be scared.
and honestly, i’m scared too. i know we’re young, as my mother keeps saying under her breath, but i think as long as i have you, and as long as you have me, we’ll be able to raise the most capable children mana’s ever seen. i think they’ll change the world one day.
they’ll take after you.
it’s embarrassing how much i miss you. i miss you. i saw the back of your head and i started missing you. and i’m sure i’ll miss you until i see your face with my own eyes.
aster, this is so cheesy. look at what you’re doing to me, jay. this is so stupid.
i don’t know a lot about pregnancy, but if i love you this much, surely our unborn child can feel it too, right?
this sucks. this fucking sucks. come home soon, i miss you. i’m including some of the drawings i tried to make of the birds, so that you don’t forget what they look like. despite their anger, they’ve said that they miss you too.
when you come back, we can go visit the trees, and ask them how pregnancy works, because i don’t really have a clue.
i’m mostly joking. not about the pregnancy part, but about the trees. i mean, i think we should do it because the tree that my mother tells me about is part of the trees near our house, and that’s where we draw everything we live on from.
i’ll tell you more about the great tree when you return. but i think we should visit them. when i turn eighteen like you, we should get married in the forest, where they can wish us well. i think maybe our families would be more sympathetic to our situation if we hurried up and got married. i’m ready to marry you. all i’m waiting for is you to ask me. i’d spend the rest of my life with you, if you’d let me.
my hand is starting to hurt, so i’ll end my letter here. if you reply, my next letter will be twice as long, and the second page will be full of anecdotes about how much i miss you. it’ll be even worse than this one.
i love you,
may ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
05 selune, 1499
mom,
it’s been a while since i’ve been home. i hope you’re doing alright. ever since dad’s put me in this school, i feel like i’ve learnt a lot.
i am really homesick though. i miss you, and i miss kiwi village, and i miss the den, and i miss jay. i miss daddy sometimes too, even though he’s usually around. but he’s not my daddy here, he’s a high ranking officer, and i have to address him as such. so i miss him too.
i turned thirteen last week. did jay cry when she realised i’m an actual teenager now? when my next break comes, can we make a cake, like we did for her birthday?
i really want to go home. it’s fun here sometimes, but i want to be home. i liked being at home with you and jay and daddy a lot better.
i think i’m making friends with the girls that i sleep near though. one of them has really long, dark hair and i told her it was pretty. and then she said she liked my red hair, and thought i should grow it out to be long like hers.
what do you think, mom? do you think i’d look good with long hair? i know yours is short, and jay’s is getting longer, but i think i might look too much like her. i already got mixed up with her a lot at home, what if growing out my hair makes it worse?
went to daddy’s office because he said he had a birthday present for me a couple days ago. he got me a pin and it’s really pretty. he wasn’t there or anything, but he wrote me a card and told me about the bird on it. i’m gonna try and wear it as much as i can.
oh, i have class now. i have to go, but i’m gonna post this as soon as i can.
bye mom,
ava ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
13 maerin, 1500
to elizabeth,
i hope this letter finds you okay, if i’m even allowed to send it at all. i miss you. i miss everyone. do you miss them as much as i do?
the orphanage here is fine, but sometimes i wake up at night and think that i’m back on the ship with everyone, and i get so happy, but then i realise i’m not actually moving at all.
i hope this letter is readable. my friend reuben said that i have really bad handwriting and spelling, so i’m trying to be really careful. i met him here, when i first arrived.
he said he’d look after me coz i’m so much younger, so you don’t have to worry about me.
one day we’ll all be on the ship again soon. but right now it’s dinner time, and i’m really hungry.
maybe it’s dinner time for you now too.
bye bye,
chip
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
23 augoose 1505
dearest captain ferin,
what an honour it is to write to you.
is that what you want me to say? i don’t know what you have planned, to give me your current address like nothing ever happened, and to tell me to write to you, when you know damn well that i would never fall for something as easy as that.
obviously i know you’re gonna ambush me as soon as i post this letter, from where i’m staying in allport. you’re too easy to read. i’ll be ready for any underhanded tactics you pull. you can’t hide from me, you or your navy family.
i will be captain of my own ship one day, so you’d better get used to calling me as such.
your game is up, ferin. and i can’t wait to see the look on your face when you realise.
captain lafayette
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
14 folun 1506
dear jayson,
it’s been a while, hasn’t it? now that jay’s gone to school again, i have no one at home but the birds and the trees. things used to be simpler when we were younger.
i haven’t seen you in a while. i know you’re working, but when you’re free, please come and visit me. take my mind off of things.
the tavern is as busy as ever. now that i’m the only person who works here, i’m thinking about hiring some of the kids who live here. ones who aren’t going to leave me anytime soon.
you should’ve seen jay the night before she left for school. her and her friend saying goodbye to every regular at the bar, solemnly, as if they’d never come home again.
i tried to interject that they’d be back in a couple weeks, that this wasn’t really necessary, but you know how headstrong jay can get. it wasn’t even her first time away, i think they just like to do that.
she takes after you a lot. i know i keep saying this in every letter, but since you’re not really around to see it, i’ll just have to keep reminding you.
i miss you, of course i do. sometimes i can still feel the remnants of the lovesick teenager i used to be. i hope you do too.
come home with the girls, won’t you? now that ava’s been promoted, i haven’t seen her around in months. youngest captain in a while, isn’t she? you must be very proud of her.
of course, i am too, but i think it means more to the girls coming from you. you are after all, the one they want to impress.
enclosed i have a blueprint jay wanted you to have before she left for school. since you aren’t in that area anymore, i think she misses you, and wants you to remember her while you work.
she was talking to me while she worked, and she mentioned that she wanted to go to the navy camps here in featherbrooke after she completed her school next year.
did she bring this up to you? i’d love to hear your thoughts. i know she thinks being a navy officer is expected of her, and i know you’d love for her to carry on the family name, as ava is, but i really hope you think this through, if you decide to talk to her about it.
jay is very stubborn when she wants to be. a learned trait from you, i assume. she wanted me to enclose some of the things she’s made, to send over to you, but i told her that you’ll just have to come home and see them yourself.
so come home soon please.
your wife misses you.
all my love,
may ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
08 hellis 1506
to jay,
congratulations on graduating! i always knew you were one of the smartest girls in your grade. and tell kira i said congratulations to her too. i’ll be home for a couple of weeks to celebrate before i leave again.
our father wants to send me on a special assignment, one that i haven’t been on in a while, so i’ll tell you all about it when i get back. it’s a revisit into an older group that i went to scout out a couple months back. had a run-in with a few people, but dad was pretty happy with the way i handled it so he wants me to do it again.
but i’ll be home to see you off to navy camp, so wait for me a little longer, will you?
and if you write back, please tell me what you’ve been up to. we haven’t seen each other in so long, and i miss you and kira both. i want to know what you got up to at school, and if you need any help from me with literally anything at all.
or if you want to hear me talk, i’ll gladly tell you about everything that’s been going on, as a captain. it’s pretty fun, most of the time. i love sailing, and i love being on the seas, and i can do it all without being a criminal. pretty fucking cool.
i’ll see you in a few weeks, so think about what you want me to share!
your big sister,
ava ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
08 hellis 1506
dearest captain,
i can’t wait to see you again.
your dear companion,
captain ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
17 hellis 1506
captain ferin,
eat shit and die.
love,
captain lafayette
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
17 hellis 1506
dear ava,
yeah, i do miss you. it’s been so long. every day i check to see if you’re back yet, and every day mom laughs a little bit at me and kira shows up to keep me company. but you know, she’s no you.
i love kira, i really do but aster, she’s really not you.
don’t tell kira, but i want to do something for her when you’re here. if you want to help me with that. she’s been so good to me for so long, and anyone who puts up with me for that long deserves something, especially for her birthday, especially for graduation, especially since i know dad has his eye on her for a captain role.
it won’t be me, i know that. and i think i’m okay with that. low ranking officer is more my thing anyway. you’re the captain ferin out of the two of us.
i don’t think i have what it takes to be a navy captain, and i think dad already knows. i kept messing up whenever i saw him, calling him dad , instead of sir . i don’t think he’s very happy. you’ll have to be extra cool to make up for it i guess.
unrelated, but mom still hasn’t found out you took her good comb with you on your last trip. she keeps tearing apart both the tavern and our home looking for it. please spare her the worry and bring it back with you, if you read this before you start packing.
her sanity’s on the line i think.
ever since i’ve been at home, i’ve been helping her out, and my goodness ava, i think mom must be a saint. she puts up with dad, she tends to the entire tavern, i don’t know how she does it.
i mean surely her magic must be helping her a bit, right? the birds and the plants or whatever?
all i can say is i think dad made a pretty good choice when he chose her, the bird whisperer, to join the bird family.
kira needs me. she’s knocking on my door right now. she just comes and goes as she wants, but you already knew that. i’m glad she’s comfortable here. i’m definitely comfortable with her around.
don’t read too much into that.
see you when you get home,
jay ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
14 selune 1506
dearest captain ferin,
you always do have the tendency of popping up when you’re least wanted. you have your own crew this time. am i supposed to congratulate you for going further up into navy ranks? are you here to mock me about how you won’t leave me alone?
if you are, spare me the pleasantries. you’re a thorn in my side, and why you insist on looking at me in particular whenever we cross paths has pissed me off in more ways than you know.
i’ll say it once, and i’ll say it every time i meet you: leave me alone, and run back home to your father.
captain lafayette
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
23 selune 1506
not-captain-lafayette,
believe me, false captain, i don’t want to be here either. thankfully i am a real captain, with a real title, and a real crew, and so i have no need to pretend like i’m someone i’m not.
do you insist your fellow crew-mates call you captain lafayette too? i pity any crew that pledges their loyalty to you. you’ll earn the record of fastest mutiny, and i have it on good judgement that that’ll be the only record you ever set as your legacy of captain.
how cute of you to think i’m here because i want your attention. i’m not a schoolgirl, lafayette. i’m a trained soldier.
believe me when i say i’ll be haunting your every step for the rest of your life.
faithfully yours,
captain ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
03 salacia 1506
my jay-jay,
happy seventeenth birthday. please wear this pin that i have enclosed.
your father,
jayson ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
30 salacia 1506
dear ava,
it’s been a couple of months since your father gave you this job. i hope the sea life treats you well. i think this is the longest you’ve been from home. we all feel your absence greatly. i think jay misses you most of all. she’s been spending a lot of time with kira lately, holed up in her room whenever she has the time.
i’ve asked the birds to keep an eye on you, and let me know how you fare on your journey. i hope that’s alright, i didn’t really ask. but i know you, and i know that you’ll always put work first. you’re so much like your father in that way.
i know you two never like being compared to him, but i can’t help it. i see so much of him in your eyes, whenever you’re determined, whenever you’re angry, whenever you laugh.
you and jay both carry so much of him, that it makes the ache of missing him dull.
i hope you’ll both visit me soon. but don’t worry about me, okay? i have your sister and i have kira to keep me company and help me out.
speaking of kira, she’s due for a promotion soon, according to your father. but don’t tell him i told you, he mentioned this under strict confidence last time we were together.
i know my letters are shorter than they used to be, and i’m sorry i can’t write often. but these days i’ve been feeling a bit more tired than normal.
i’m sure it’s just a temporary thing, so don’t spend too much time worrying about your mother, and just enjoy the time you have.
don’t work yourself too hard my dear. you’re a ferin, but you’re my daughter first. don’t forget that.
jay wishes you the best of luck, as always. she’s been doing well, but i’m sure she wants to tell you herself, so i won’t say anything more.
i love you my darling. enjoy yourself
may ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
02 umber 1506
captain ferin ,
as much as i adored hearing back from you, get the fuck away from me. you don’t know anything about me. how dare you pity me. i don’t need anything from you, and i sure as hell don’t need anything from the fucking navy.
you keep stalking me like a fucking weed, and it’s getting annoying. our correspondence means nothing to me, and yet it would be traitorous if word got out on your side, wouldn’t it? i could leak our letters to the navy, and you’d be condemned, ferin or not.
watch yourself. we leave at dawn. if i see your hair anywhere near my ship, i’ll cut it off, so help me.
lafayette
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
17 umber 1506
lafayette,
dropped the captain sign already? what a shame, i thought you were more stubborn than that.
your ego is immensely concerning. do you think everything i do is because of you? do you think i lie awake at night, thinking of how to spite you specifically?
you think too highly of yourself. i’d love to bring you down a peg personally. you talk as if you’ve been through hell and back, but i’d like to reiterate, by telling you that you have no idea what i’ve lived through either.
for all you know, i could’ve walked out of the sea as a baby, and parted the sun’s rays, blessed by aster herself. you don’t know a thing about me, and don’t act like you do, just because you’ve heard of the infamy of my family on your crew’s lips.
and a little note, captain to captain? your ego is what’s gonna get you overturned someday. you’ll go down in history, i’m sure. i can’t wait to be there when it happens.
i do love these conversations, you know. you’re so easy to get mad. how childish.
captain ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
04 astris 1507
dear jayson,
thank you for the necklace. i love it. and i love that you’re still thinking of me, even over twenty years later. i’m sending you something i made myself, to keep my well wishes close to your heart.
jay taught me how to make them, and it’s with all the love i have, that i hope that you keep this pin near to your heart, as i keep your love with me.
our anniversary is somewhere in the middle of our two letters, and so i only hope that the wishes that i send carry well, and land wherever you may be.
and i don’t want to sound like a broken record, but i miss you again. i found the first letter i sent you, when you went away for the first time, when i was first pregnant with ava. you came home only a few weeks later, and spent every day by my side, fending off letter after letter from your mother, demanding you come back to work.
i thank aster every day for you, and how attentive you were. and sometimes i do miss it, i miss being foolish and in love, like we used to be.
but everyone needs to grow up. i suppose you just had to grow up long before i did.
it’s not your fault, really. i know the real you in there, buried under all those titles and layers. but sometimes, i feel selfish, and i want you to hurry home to me, as you did before all those years ago.
our daughters have grown into capable adults, and now it’s our duty as their parents to stop trying to raise them, and continue trying to love them.
i hope you have some empathy for their lives, wherever their paths may lead them. think about your own brother, and his life, and promise to treat your coworkers kindly, even if you don’t think they deserve it.
do it for me, if you can’t do it for yourself. and remember that i’ll always be cheering you on, and i’ll always be loving you, when the world can’t.
i know you’ll extend the same branch for me someday, so i can be the selfish one for now.
look at me, rambling off like a teenager again.
i’ll end this letter the way i end all my letters to you now.
please visit featherbrooke soon. we miss you. don’t come home as a soldier, but come home as my husband. as a father. as the man that i love.
yours,
may ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
06 astris 1507
captain ferin,
it is with a smile on my face that i inform you, maybe foolishly, that we are getting out of here, and you’ll never see me again. and that’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, seeing the back of your head.
or rather, you’ll be seeing the back of mine, because our ship is gonna sail so far away, you won’t even know what hit you. hope that by the time this reaches you, you’ll be relaxing in your little hotel room bath, and you won’t even bother to come after us.
a life of luxuries, how nice that must feel. it’s made you soft, you know. exchanging letters with me, is what some would consider soft and treacherous. i still hold the cards, you realise. i’m the one in fucking charge here.
it would be best for everyone if you stood down and finally realised that.
worst,
captain lafayette
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
18 astris 1507
lafayette,
it’s so cute to see you so delusional. even using the name captain again. it made me laugh, as i was reading your last note. your ego is unparalleled as always, your wit always five steps behind your brain.
as for standing down, i don’t think you know who i am. should i reintroduce myself to jog your memory?
my name is captain ava ferin, and i hunt down my goals until the day i die. if that includes your captain’s crew, so be it. you’re just another pawn in my path, lafayette. don’t think you’re so important.
you hold the cards? my dear not-captain, you’re completely out of touch with the real world. you don’t think everything i read is scanned by my superiors? by the people i am sworn to duty for? you really know nothing about the real world, do you.
you’re as charming as ever.
captain ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
02 folun 1507
i’ll fucking take you any day.
you think you’re all that, ava ferin? i’ll fight you anywhere you want, fist to fist, to prove that you’re not as high up the food chain as you think you are. all you navy folk are the same. you talk a big fucking game, and you don’t have any of the skills to back it up.
you’ll just sit up in your tower and watch your little minions die for your cause. i bet your superiors are just waiting for you to keel over any minute now, so they can parade your dead body on a stick as an example of how devoted you are for the cause.
you make me sick.
you don’t know who you’re messing with either. i was on the black rose crew, the most infamous pirate ship known to man. i was one of the wards to captain rose himself. do you really think i’m scared of a little authority?
remember my name, ava ferin. it will be the last name you speak.
elizabeth lafayette
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
14 folun 1507
jay!
before you get mad at me, know that i have a really good reason for ghosting you, i swear. i can practically see the look on your face as you find this letter in your room, and i really hope you’re not mad at me for totally flaking on our plans.
but i got a huge letter from someone really important, and i needed to attend this meeting. jay, i think i might be getting promoted tonight. you didn’t hear this from me, i still want you to act surprised when they announce it next week.
but what other reason could there be, right? a personal meeting?
i hope you’re not too upset. i don’t know if you wanted this promotion or not, this is the only part of you that i could never read and be certain about. but i want you to be happy for me, and cheer me on like you always do.
can you tell i’m rushing? is my handwriting that bad? i don’t have a lotta time, but i just wanted to tell you, so you didn’t wonder where i was or anything.
i’ll come around after dinner and tell you how it went.
keep your fingers crossed for me jay! this could be a huge step for me.
- kira
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
15 folun 1507
captain ferin,
my offer to fight you one on one still stands. unless you’re too much of a coward to face me. i get it, i’m pretty intimidating. but i’ll be at darkport alone, if you have all this strength that you claim to have. you think i’m so egotistical, might be a good chance to beat it outta me.
elizabeth lafayette
= post script i’m a little bit drunk right now, i have no clue if this is a bad idea. guess i’ll find out.
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
24 folun 1507
elizabeth lafayette,
never send a letter while you’re drunk ever again, holy shit. do you have any self preservation? you could’ve killed your entire crew if it wasn’t someone like me that you addressed your letter to. you’re lucky my mother raised me well. are you stupid when you’re drunk or are you just stupid in general?
i’ll meet you, but only because i want to shut you up for good. how does your letter paper stink of booze too? you pirates are all degenerates.
captain ava ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
06 marin 1507
captain ava ferin,
of course i’ll be sober for a fight, who do you take me for? i’m not going to handicap myself for a fight just because i know i’ll be able to beat you.
as for your concerns after my health, very sweet by the way, but you don’t need to worry about me. i’ve been a pirate since i was a little girl. being a degenerate, as you kindly described me, is in my fucking blood. i think more booze runs through my veins than blood at this point.
that’s the way it is with pirates.
is that a yes on the fighting location, because i will show up. i may be a pirate, but i’m not navy luring scum. pirate’s code, captain ferin. ever heard of it?
i’m going to knock your ass into the ground, and you’re gonna taste the dirt.
elizabeth lafayette
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
10 marin 1507
hey chip,
i don’t know if you’re out there. hell, you didn’t even cross my mind until just now. but happy birthday, wherever you are. don’t turn out like me, okay? gods knows at least one of us needs to live a decent life.
i hope you’re alive.
lizzie
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
18 auruna 1507
elizabeth lafayette,
had enough? or do you want to taste the mud again? kind of pathetic really, i like my fights to be at least somewhat entertaining. that was just sad.
was it the drinking that got you? or do you just smell like alcohol because you’re on a pirate ship all the time, and that’s the new perfume that’s in style? can’t say i’m a fan.
i’ll give you the honour of a rematch though, elizabeth lafayette. you did manage to keep up, even if i was the one who won.
i lied about my letters being screened. could you tell, by the fact that it was just me who showed up to your little ring?
this isn’t the end lafayette, it’s far from it.
captain ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
28 maerin 1507
dear ava,
it’s been a while now, hasn’t it? i know i just sent you a letter yesterday, but consider this an addition to the message i sent you. jay is at my elbow right now, complaining about how you never answer her, but always answer me. she’s looking for a set of clothes, that you apparently share, and she needs to wear it to go to kira’s promotion ceremony in a few weeks.
you already know this, maybe because my first letter’s just arrived as well, but kira’s becoming captain, just as you were. she’s on her way up the ranks, and i’m afraid that jay thinks she’s falling behind.
not that she’ll ever admit it, i don’t think she’d ever tell me when she’s truly upset. she’s always been someone to stand by herself and take things her own way.
she’s still growing, you know, she’s so much taller than the last time you were here. i think you two are about the same height now, and that’s why she’s been rummaging through your clothes, trying to find something that fits her, and something that’s appropriate for the event.
be well out there my daughter.
i love you as always,
may ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
05 juno 1507
mom,
i swear to aster, jay’s letters just never reach me anymore, and i don’t know why. i think she’s just bad at writing the address on them, because the dps only comes to me with letters from you anymore.
i got your letter, i’ll give you a better response when i’m back out on the sea. tell jay to behave like an adult, and to look in my room, in the third drawer of my dresser. seriously, she’s not a kid anymore, she doesn’t need to do this.
i’ll send her a letter too, before you ask. i know i should’ve sent her more, but she never sent me any, and so it’s not really my fault.
best,
ava ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
05 juno 1507
dear jay,
i think i’ll be on a break soon, dad just wants me to take care of this one pirate group, and it’s getting really annoying because they’re actually really talented at what they do.
i guess that’s why pirates have evaded us for so long.
i wish i could go into the specifics more, but you know how the navy works.
not getting your letters has been boring, but i know you’ll get this one, because at least i know how to address my letters correctly. maybe you should use this one as an example so yours don’t get lost this time. just a thought.
please tell kira that you wearing my clothes symbolises the fact that i’m there supporting her as well, in spirit. and tell her that she can talk to me for advice any time. i’m really proud of her.
and even if you’re not doing the same thing, i’m proud of you too, for what it’s worth. i’ve missed having your company, even if you are a pain in the ass. not following in dad’s footsteps is i think braver than being a copy of me and him. he told me last week that he didn’t want you in the middle of it all anyway. so just leave this kind of work to me, and keep being the person that you are.
tell mom that i wrote you back, and i’m not just saying that to appease her. maybe even show her this one as proof, if you want. i love her, but she worries way too much.
maybe don’t show her that last part.
sincerely,
ava ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
23 hellis 1507
happy birthday lizzie.
i hope you’re alive. i hope everyone’s alive. i want to go back to the way things used to be.
- chip
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
01 augoose 1507
ava ferin,
the day you socked me in the face so hard my nose started bleeding was my birthday. hell of a present, i’ll tell you that much.
not that you fucking care, but i got a drink after, and my friend asked me what happened.
obviously i tried to keep it a secret, but i think he just knows me too well. he’s as annoying as you, but better because he’s not navy trash. i might bring him along next time, just so i can have a witness for the next time, when i win, and kick your ass.
be ready, ferin. you won’t get away this easily.
elizabeth lafayette
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
19 augoose 1507
elizabeth,
next year, i’ll be sure to buy you a drink before slamming your face into the pavement. that’s a ferin promise.
so sorry you didn’t like your birthday present. i thought it was pretty fitting. some blood on that face of yours could do you justice, you know. a pretty face that’s never seen blood before is like a ship without a navy flag.
completely illegal.
that being said, you’ve lost twice in a row, and you still think you have the chances to beat me? bring it on. i’ll snuff back that ego if it’s the last thing i ever do. you’re going down.
ava ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
30 augoose 1507
ava,
same spot as last time then. i’ll be waiting.
elizabeth
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
30 augoose 1507
captain ava ferin,
it is with great regrets that i must recall you to your home base for a few months. upon the arrival of this letter, you are ordered to retreat until further notice.
new revelations have been discovered, and new strategies must be planned out.
i trust that you will listen to me, my daughter. do not disappoint me. your mother is waiting.
your father,
jayson ferin.
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
15 selune 1507
captain lafayette,
it is with regret that i must inform you that our correspondence has come to a close. i regret my actions deeply, and i pen these words as the last things you will ever hear from me.
exchanging private letters with a criminal is a very clear sign of treason. and for this reason, i must withdraw my contact with you.
the next time we speak, you will be where all pirates belong. and i will speak to you behind bars only.
cordially,
captain ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
03 salacia 1507
jay,
i have great news. or bad news, depending on which way you look at it. but i think it’s great news for you.
i’m coming home! for the foreseeable future anyway. dad wants me stationed at home while he figures some things out, and he mentioned that i would be in charge of the soldiers at the base back at home. so i can officially spend time with you and mom again.
he said something about a strategy meeting, so i know i have that to look forward to, as soon as i touch down. maybe you could help me with that. thinking through offensive actions has always been something you were pretty good at, even if dad pretends not to notice.
i probably won’t be able to work with you guys or anything, or help mom out as much as i used to, but i’ll still come home every night and spend time with you and kira, just like before.
that’s great, right?
something bothers me about this, but i’ll talk to you more about this when i get home. i think i really just liked being at sea.
of course, i love being home, but i wonder if i’ll get homesick for my ship. can you get homesick for a place that isn’t technically your home? can you get homesick for a person?
count the days, jay. i’ll be back before you know it.
your sister,
ava ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
14 deluna 1507
captain ava ferin,
fuck you. fuck you for standing me up, fuck you for not having the decency to tell me in person, fuck you for getting my hopes up, for pretending to be a decent navy person when you’re just like the rest of them.
i feel used. i feel fucking betrayed, for some reason. i hate you. and the only reason you’ll never see me again is because i refuse to be put in jail, just to spite your stupid navy ass. the entire ferin family may have earned my wrath when you stood me up, but you, ava ferin.
you’re the worst of them all.
at least the rest of the ferins have the balls to say they hate me to my face. you strung me along, replying to my letters, meeting me to brawl, looking at me with that fucking face of yours-
i hate you. i despise you from the bottom of my heart. i wish you were dead.
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
10 marin 1508
happy birthday chip.
i still think about you.
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
19 auruna 1508
jay,
by the time you come back home, i’ll have set sail again. dad’s put me back on the ocean, he’s learnt a thing or two, and by the time you’re done with your training, i’ll already be halfway across mana by now.
i hate saying goodbye like this. lately it’s become a trend, to say goodbye in the worst ways.
but at least with you, i don’t have to worry about burning any bridges. so don’t be too upset, and wait for me, until i get home.
i wanted to tell you about how much you helped me at the strategy planning meetings that dad was holding, but i didn’t get the time, and now i’m already gone. so i’ll say it here.
aster, you’re so fucking smart. you always have been. you notice things that others don’t, and you come up with such insane ways to execute them. i think dad’s wasting your talent, by not assigning you anywhere else.
but don’t tell him that. obviously he’s just worried about you. with everything that happened to uncle drey, i’m sure it’s .. nevermind. i’ll write to you more from now on, i promise.
see you soon,
ava
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
23 hellis 1508
this is such a bad idea,
captain ferin. don’t throw this letter away when you see my name at the top. but read it first, at least. you’re the fucking worst, but no one else is as fun to talk to as you are. i know you’re back to hunt us down, but isn’t there a chance that you could come back and fight me again, just like you did before?
you had no problem with it before. i hate you, but i hate that i want to see you even more.
elizabeth
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
04 augoose 1508
elizabeth lafayette,
as you so politely pointed out in our previous exchanges, these letters are akin of treason. if you even liked me a little bit, consider it a favour to keep me out of jail, and out of shame from my family.
can you not do even this one thing? are you really that selfish? stop talking to me. stop writing to me. this will not work, no matter how hard we try. you don’t understand how much my job means to me.
captain ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
03 salacia 1508
hi jay,
i hope you like your birthday present. come and meet me at the dock before i leave, okay?
kira
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
17 umber 1508
burn this when you get it,
but i miss you too.
that is what you were telling me, wasn’t it?
ava
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
06 deluna 1508
captain ava ferin,
“burn this”? you don’t get to say that to me. you don’t get to put it all on my shoulders. that’s not fair. you can’t be serious.
“burn this when you get it” but “it will never work out”.
you need to make up your fucking mind. and quickly. do you want to talk to me or not. do you want to risk your family and your job or not. i can’t keep being strung along by your whims.
i may be a pirate, but fuck you, i’m a person too. don’t talk to me. i can miss you, because you were the one who disappeared on me.
but you’re not allowed to feel the same way. i won’t let you. not when you’re being such a coward.
elizabeth lafayette
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
10 marin 1509
elizabeth,
i’ll be at allport next week, with my crew.
please.
ava ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
20 marin 1509
captain ava ferin,
you do not get to beg. stop. stop talking to me, stop trying, stop it. i can’t do this.
i won’t let you.
elizabeth lafayette
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
01 auruna 1509
elizabeth,
i’m really sorry. please let me make it up to you. it’s been months, and it was an order, you don’t understand elizabeth.
i had to leave, it wasn’t my choice. i don’t just work for myself, i’m not an independent role in the navy. i have to listen when i’m being told to do something, please don’t blame me.
i really do want to see you. i know i’m being selfish here, but please indulge me.
forgive me,
ava ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
09 auruna 1509
captain ava ferin,
how do i know this isn’t a trick, ferin. how do i know that i’m not walking into an ambush, and you won’t slap your handcuffs on me as soon as i walk out onto the docks?
we were never friends, but at least you held some degree of trust.
there’s nothing there anymore, ferin. how on earth am i supposed to believe you?
elizabeth lafayette
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
18 auruna 1509
elizabeth,
it’s not a trick, i promise. i’ll meet you there, i’ll be the one waiting for you.
you don’t have to show up. you can return the same thing that i did to you, last year. i just want to see you again, and i want to prove who’s better.
we could get into a fight. it’s been too long since i talked to you. face to face. not pen to pen.
i know you’d forgive me as soon as you saw me. is that why you’re refusing so adamantly?
ava ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
02 maerin 1509
ava,
gods, you’re right. you always are right.
did you let me defeat you tonight out of shame? out of retribution? to atone for the way you acted? of course you’re right in that i can’t be mad at you if i see you.
every time i see your face, i think i go a little deeper into this hole that i’ve dug for myself. you always have a way of making me talk, even from the very first response that you gave me.
did you know i sent that letter to you, thinking i wouldn’t get any reply? that i would just taunt another officer in the navy, that caspian told me not to do because it would put a target on our back?
i’m so glad that target was you, ava. i could live a thousand lives before i met you, and i’d still think the life with you is better than anything else i could’ve ever experienced. you’re fucking incredible, you know that?
from,
lizzie
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
15 maerin 1509
lizzie,
meeting you is always a rush. i prefer talking to you, face to face, fighting you, than writing like this. when i write, i’m forced to think about my own feelings, and pen them down for you. it’s embarrassing, frankly.
i want to put the pen down, i want to run over to you, and i don’t ever want to stop running.
but my duty is to the navy, and so i have to keep writing, instead of succumbing to my impulses. i was taught a long time ago to hold myself back, for the good of my family, and it’s so nice to meet someone like you, who just doesn’t give a shit.
you remind me of my sister in that way.
you really are the highlight of my day. i’ll see you soon, before you even get this message, in fact. writing it down, aster, i’m even worse than my mother and her letters to my father.
ava
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
05 juno 1509
ava,
what’s wrong? too afraid to admit your love for me? that’s alright, i’ll see you later, and you’ll show me exactly how you feel, with every blow you make, every hit you land.
you never hold back, and that’s just another thing that i love about you.
you’re right, it is embarrassing to write this down. i guess it’s easier for you to say it aloud, but for me, you could only get me to confess these things with a drink in my system.
even now, i have a bottle next to me while i write these next few words. ava ferin, over the course of the last month- no, the last few years, i think i have loved you since your first response to me. i think i loved you even more when you beat me last year. i’ll never say it sober, so i’ll say it a thousand times now.
oh, caspian’s here to take me to bed. goodnight ava.
lizzie
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
13 juno 1509
lizzie,
it feels silly, writing back, even though we meet nearly every other day. but a log of our relationship is the one thing that scares me the most. i can’t write it back, because the thought of treason still lurks in my brain, like something i can never get rid of.
my impulse control is growing weaker and weaker these days.
my one flaw, i suppose, is my loyalty to my family. and in a way, yours is too. your family and mine, they’d never get along. and we must stay content with this thing in the middle that we have for now.
it’s ours, pirate. the fleeting moments at night, in the dark, are all ours.
just as i am faithfully yours,
ava
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
09 hellis 1509
ava,
faithfully mine, but you can’t pen down three simple words?
i can’t fault you, i’m no better. you’re always braver than me, saying this shit, in writing and to my face. i don’t think i could ever stomach saying this out loud, for fear that i’ll be overheard by someone who isn’t meant to hear it, and isn’t meant to see me this way.
i have a reputation, you know.
it’s embarrassing, liking someone this much. it’s even more embarrassing when the person that i like this much is someone i’ll never be able to be seen with yet.
have you ever thought about defecting from the navy, and being with me instead? food for thought. quit your job, become a pirate with me.
tell me you love me to my face, or to my mailbox, i’ll cherish it all the same.
lizzie
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
23 hellis 1509
lizzie,
i’ll say it once, but you have to get rid of this letter. i’m serious, this can’t be shown to the navy. my life is on the line, but i guess i’ll risk it for you.
what do i have to lose besides you? i love you lizzie. i’ll buy you drinks for your birthday today, and i’ll tell you i love you, and get you drunk enough so you can say it back. because i know you, and i love you, and i want to hear you say it too.
and because i’m selfish, i want to hear you say it over and over again.
ava
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
24 hellis 1509
dear ava,
it’s been a long time. you were right, i was mad at you when i found your note. i didn’t write to you until now because i held my anger to you for a while.
but mom told me to get over myself, and send you a letter to let you know how i’m doing.
and i’m doing fine. kira’s a captain now, so she’s away, and now i am just by myself, with mom. i’ve finished my navy training, but dad doesn’t really want me away just yet, so i stay at the tavern and i help mom these days.
have you seen dad at all?
he came by once a couple weeks ago to talk to mom, but that was only for a day. and he spent most of his time at the navy base, instead of here, with his family.
i’m mad at him. i’m mad that he can’t put in the effort to see me. he sends one of his kids off to war, and the other one locked away in safety, and he can’t find the time to even send a stupid letter.
he’s always never really cared or looked after us. i don’t know what mom sees in him.
i wouldn’t forgive him if i were her. i hope i never marry someone like that. someone so caught up in their work that they forget about the people around them that they’re supposed to raise and cherish for the rest of their life.
don’t tell mom. but i’m really beginning to resent him. and don’t you dare tell me it’s not unfounded and that he’s trying his best. i can count on my hands the number of times he’s talked to me in the past five years, regarding stuff that isn’t about the stupid navy. when was the last time he was just our father?
visit me and mom soon.
jay ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
17 augoose 1509
ava,
you know my birthday, but i don’t know yours somehow. this is just small talk, i want to keep your letters for the rest of my life.
when we grow apart, i want to keep these memories tucked into my fucking heart, so that it has a reason to beat. because i still fucking love you, way too much.
meeting you right now. caspian promised he’d let me know if shadowbeard needed me while i was gone.
i’m gonna beat you today, for sure. guaranteed. you’re good ava, but i’ve been getting better.
lizzie
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
14 selune 1509
lizzie,
i found this letter on my desk a month later, and figured it would be rude not to reply. now my birthday will forever remain a secret, because it’s already passed. guess you’ll never know.
as for your friend, you really need to be careful. i really like meeting you, but i think i’ve become sloppy in the past few weeks, giddy with love. because i do love you, but we need to remember our place in the world.
this won’t last. and keeping my letters isn’t going to make it last. if anything, it’ll just make it hurt more when i have to leave, and you’ll be here by yourself again.
my loyalty is to the navy, and yours to your crew. in the future, when we aren’t useful anymore, we can do this again. but right now, please be careful.
there are so many things at play that you don’t know about, and my selfish wish is that you don’t get caught in the crossfire.
ava
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
03 salacia 1509
dear jay,
happy birthday! oh aster, twenty years old is such a big milestone, we need to celebrate as soon as i get back home.
my best birthday present that i have is news. news that i’ll be able to visit soon! in a few months, hopefully.
i keep hearing wind of this plan that the navy has, that will take out this crew once and for all, and i know that as soon as this is all over, i’ll finally be able to come home for a little while, just as i did before.
i’m also including something i got for you while i was on an island, i thought maybe you could put it to good use, since you’re always making odd things here and there, i found an odd material that you can use to put into it somehow. i can’t wait to see what you do with it.
i also wanted to show you this medal i got last week! including that as well, just because i know you’ll be able to take care of it better than i can. i’ll probably lose it on my ship, knowing me. please take care of it until i get back.
i still firmly believe that dad is wasting your talents, no matter what you think of him. even if he is more our superior than our father, i continue to believe that you could do so much, if he just played his cards right. even now as adults, you surpass me in so many ways. and you are a proper adult now, twenty years old.
i can’t wait to see you, i know i keep saying it, but i’ve really missed you and being home. i’ll be home soon, i promise.
your sister,
ava ferin
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
03 salacia 1509
ava,
i’ll be okay. i’m better than i was the first time you left. now that you’re more transparent about it, i know i can trust you. even if you are navy, even if you are a ferin, you’re ava first.
i know you, i’ve known you for what feels like an eternity. i read your letters over and over. the ones you’ve told me to burn, i’ve shamefully kept them close to my heart, like a fucking idiot.
i’ve included something important with this one. i want you to meet me here. this is where we’ve been keeping our stuff this entire time.
i trust you.
lizzie
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
16 umber 1509
you’re never coming home again.
you promised me that you were coming back, ava. you said you missed me, and you missed mom, and you missed home, and you promised you’d come back and show me the things you got, and tell me about the places you’d been.
i don’t even know what happened, no one will tell me. dad came home, he came back, and he told me and mom while we were at the bar, cleaning up.
i need to figure out what happened to you. who did this? why did they do this? what the fuck is wrong with them? where the hell did you go?
i can’t be a part of the navy anymore, not without you. you were the only reason i wanted to be. it was never dad, it was always you, so please tell me this is a joke, and please sail back into the harbour right now, and laugh it off.
i have your stupid medal that you sent over, don’t you want it back? don’t you want the honour and valour that comes with this thing? why did you give this to me with your last letter?
i don’t want to disappoint dad, not when his only hope is dead, and he has nothing to say to me or mom about this. but i don’t think i have any choice.
you promised you would come home, so just hurry up and come back already, or else i’m gonna go and find you. i need to find answers. i’m going to uncover the truth.
this isn’t funny ava.
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
20 umber 1509
ava ferin,
i’m so sorry. i’m so fucking sorry. it’s all my fault. it’s all my fucking fault. i never should’ve replied to you. i never should’ve talked to you, or begged you to come back, or called your name that night when you came to our base.
maybe if i had kept my distance from you, you’d still be alive. you wouldn’t be mine, but aster, you’d still be alive.
i’m such a coward, ava. i never could say anything to you unless i was taking a drink of something strong. you were always stronger than me in that regard. i never got to tell you anything about how you made me feel, because i was always scared that you’d never look back after you left.
something tells me you wouldn’t have, but at least that way i would’ve at least tried, and things would’ve ended differently.
please forgive me for killing you.
it was all my fault, and i’ll never forgive myself for it. i’ll carry this grief with me for the rest of my life if it means i’ll never forget what i fucking did to you.
forgive me ava, because i’ll never forgive myself. i loved you so much. i’m sorry i never told you how much. i loved you so easily it was like breathing. i loved you more than the moon loves the stars. if i could change the way things happened, if i could trade places, or do anything to prevent your death, i would. a thousand times over, i would.
i don’t regret knowing you, but i regret being the cause of your death.
elizabeth lafayette
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
21 umber 1509
why did they shoot?
every night i replay your death, and every night i’m gripped with the terrifying realisation that they shot you, knowing that you were there, knowing that you were going for my captain, knowing that you were this close to success. and they shot you. you had a clear line of success. were they really just covering their bases? did they have such little faith in a captain of the navy?
even if i had begged you to stop, i know your duty to your job is more important than anything i do, no matter how much you loved me. how much i think you loved me.
did you know about this plan? did you die, knowing that things were going to end this way? is that why you kept telling me that you would leave?
i can’t be mad at you, never you, ava.
but some part of me feels like you had to have known. was it part of your plan to fall in love with me too, or was that part an accident? did you ever love me at all?
why did they kill you? for some fucking agenda that they’d had all along? ava, they were your crew. did you tell them to do it? did someone get an order? did you call the backup, or did someone else?
i have too many questions and not enough answers. i’m not going to take any of this lying down. i’m not going to feel sorry for myself. i’m not going to feel sorry or guilty or whatever the hell the navy wants me to think right now. i’m going to have a fucking drink, and i am going to be the best fucking pirate captain that mana has ever seen.
i’ll figure this out, if it’s the last thing i do. i won’t let them make an example of you. i won’t let this turn into a witchhunt for pirates. i won’t let this be the end.
it’s not what you would’ve wanted, right?
┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・
10 juno 1510
dear ava,
you ferins look so alike it’s terrifying. do you know how i felt, seeing you walking alive again? you never showed me photos of your sister, why didn’t you tell me she looks just like you?
she even sounds like you, ava. don’t be mad at me for pulling a gun on your sister, when i know the track record of every ferin who comes through these pirate islands. and this girl has the nerve to show up to a pirate competition, pretending to be a pirate, when she looks so much like you.
i felt my heart stop beating, i was so terrified. i was so terrified you’d come back to haunt me, to tell me it was my fault, or that it was orchestrated from the beginning, or something even worse than that.
ava, i’m going to start a war. the way they killed you was just the start of the navy’s fucking reign. they’ve been worse and worse since you died, as if that was the catalyst for their fucking takeover. they’ve been killing pirates nonstop, ava. they’ve been taking over neutral grounds, they’ve been spreading their bases.
i’m finally a captain now, did you know? you can call me captain lafayette now. i’m finally good enough to be on your level.
just as your death started this ordeal, i’m confident that i’m going to be the one to end it. i’ll prove myself worthy of someone you once loved, and i’m not going to go down easy this time.
the navy can throw all the ferins they want at me, i’m never being beaten by a single ferin ever again.
captain elizabeth lafayette