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Eddie had always loved late-night drives. Something about it made him feel at peace in a way few other things could. With the radio turned down low and the roads empty save for the occasional headlights, he could feel the tension and anxiety from the day fading away. It was just him and the open road and nothing else mattered.
After moving to Los Angeles, those aimless drives became more and more infrequent. Whether it be the constant traffic, inflated gas prices, or his busy schedule, Eddie always had an excuse stopping him from giving in when the urge arose.
On a day like today, though, when he couldn’t quite get out of his head and shake away the restless energy buzzing within, Eddie felt the familiar itch to grab his keys and just go.
As he sat on his couch alone in the quiet of his empty home, his leg bouncing and mind racing, Eddie knew he needed to do something to ground himself. He started thinking over his mental checklist of things he probably should be doing with the next twenty-four hours he had to himself. He had just gotten to thinking about the seemingly never-ending pile of laundry that needed to be done when he heard the soft click of the front door opening.
Eddie turned his head to see Buck kicking off his shoes. “Hey,” Buck said with a smile, ”I hope you don’t mind me stopping in. I know we didn’t exactly have plans tonight.”
Despite the feelings of anxiety that still coursed through him, Eddie couldn’t help but return Buck’s smile. “Buck, of course, I don’t mind. You know you’re always welcome here.”
Buck didn’t quite meet his best friend’s eyes as he made his way to join Eddie on the couch. Eddie wondered if he had imagined the way Buck’s face seemed slightly flushed in the dim light of the living room.
“So, is there a reason for this surprise visit or did you just miss me already?”
Buck drummed his fingers against his thighs and Eddie took that as a sign that the other man was working through what he wanted to say. “Well, I noticed that you were a bit off at work today. I worried maybe there was something wrong, so I just wanted to stop by and see how you’re doing.”
Eddie wasn’t surprised that Buck had picked up on Eddie’s behavior. Even though Eddie did his best to go through the day with a smile on his face, Buck knew him better than anyone. Eddie was pretty certain nobody had ever known him as thoroughly as Buck did.
Eddie rested his head against the back of the couch and turned to look at Buck. “I’m fine. I, uh, I guess I’ve just been feeling a bit on edge today. It’s not even really about anything specific. It’s just one of those days, ya know?”
Buck nodded slowly and only hesitated a beat before jumping up from the couch. He held out a hand to Eddie, “Come on. We’re going out.”
Eddie looked at Buck’s outstretched hand and didn’t think twice before reaching out his own hand and allowing Buck to pull him to his feet. Eddie trusted his best friend fully. There was no doubt in Eddie’s mind that he would follow Buck anywhere. “Alright, where are we going?”
Buck didn’t turn to look back at Eddie until they had both reached Buck’s Jeep. “I dunno. Anywhere you want.”
“Oh-kay,” Eddie said slowly and claimed his spot in the Jeep’s passenger seat.
Buck started the engine and safely backed out of the driveway before glancing at Eddie again. “I was just thinking about when you told me how you used to go out for a drive at night after having a tough day. So I thought we could do that now- just get out and see where the night takes us.”
“I, uh, yeah. That sounds great, Buck. Thanks.” Eddie looked at Buck with an expression that was undoubtedly too fond to be considered friendly. Even after the years they had spent as best friends, Eddie was still in awe of the way Buck always knew how to take care of him. How he was always there when Eddie needed him.
Eddie lost track of time as the two rode in comfortable silence. Eddie could feel himself slowly relaxing into his seat. It was that time of day when the sun was nearly set and everything was basked in a golden glow. It was Eddie’s favorite time of day. He’d never really been a morning person, so the times he saw the sunrise certainly weren’t by choice. The evening hours, however, Eddie could appreciate. He rolled his window down, knowing Buck wouldn’t mind, and allowed himself to revel in the warm breeze.
Buck spoke softly as if he didn’t want to disturb the serenity that had enveloped their little bubble, “How do you feel about stopping to get some ice cream? I know how you are with mint chocolate chip.”
“And what do you mean by that?”
“C’mon Eddie. How many times have I caught you nursing a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream after a bad shift? I’ve practically had to pry the tub out of your hands on more than one occasion.”
Eddie rolled his eyes at Buck but didn’t hold back the soft smile that followed. “Okay, I see your point. Ice cream sounds great.”
A few minutes later Buck pulled into the drive-thru line of a Baskin-Robbins and recited their orders. Not for the first time, Eddie was overwhelmed with the love he felt for his best friend. Not just because Buck knew his favorite ice cream flavor, but because of how Buck always treated him with a softness, kindness, and care that nobody else ever had. Eddie had spent his entire life feeling as if he had to do everything on his own, constantly feeling like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. But Buck never made Eddie feel that way. He was always there with an outstretched hand to lift Eddie up when he didn’t feel like he had the strength to do it on his own. Eddie never had to ask, Buck was just there.
Suddenly, Eddie wondered why he had spent months pretending he wasn’t in love with his best friend. He had spent days, weeks even, going over every reason why telling Buck how he felt was a terrible idea. Yet, at that moment, Eddie couldn’t remember a single one.
“Hey-Eds, are you good?” Eddie saw the cup of ice cream outstretched between them and realized Buck had been trying to get his attention.
With a newfound resolution, Eddie settled his gaze on Buck. For the first time since realizing his feelings, Eddie didn’t bite back the three words that had become a natural thought any time he was in Buck’s presence. Instead, Eddie decided it was time Buck heard them too, “I love you.” Eddie said the words with unexpected confidence. Even as the car settled back into silence, Eddie didn’t regret letting the words free. Falling in love with his best friend was one of the greatest things Eddie had ever done, so why shouldn’t Buck know? Buck deserved to know that he was loved so effortlessly and so wholeheartedly, regardless of whether that love was reciprocated.
“What?” Buck muttered the word with a tremble in his voice. “Do you-what do you mean?”
“I mean I’m absolutely, hopelessly in love with you. I’m not expecting anything in return, I just want you to know. You’re my best friend and you deserve to know just how much you mean to me.” Eddie looked into Buck’s eyes and noticed how the blue of his eyes seemed to shine in the darkness that had now fallen outside. The look of hope behind the tears that had started to pool in those eyes is what gave Eddie the courage to go on. “I know a Baskin-Robbins parking lot isn’t exactly the most romantic of places for a love confession, but I just can’t go another moment pretending I’m not in love with you. I’ve spent too much of my life pretending, putting on a performance, and I realize now that I don’t have to do that around you. You-you’ve always had my back, even on my darkest days-especially on my darkest days- and I want that forever Buck. I want you by my side forever.”
“Oh my god, Eddie.” Buck choked back a sob. “I do not care where we are. That was the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.”
Buck pushed the long-forgotten ice cream to the side and laid out his hand on the center console. Eddie looked down at Buck’s hand briefly and then back up to the man’s eyes. With a smile, Eddie rested his hand atop Buck’s and threaded their fingers together.
“Honestly, I don't know how to follow that except to say that I am absolutely, hopelessly in love with you too. I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life by your side. You and Christopher mean everything to me and that’s never going to change.”
That was all Eddie needed to hear. There might have been a lot that still needed to be said, but at that moment Eddie didn’t care. They could have those conversations later and Eddie knew they would get through it together. Buck loved him and for now, that was enough. Actually, to Eddie that was everything. “Can I kiss you now?”
“Please,” is all Buck could say before Eddie used his free hand - the other still intertwined with Buck’s- to gently pull him into a kiss. It was sweet and unhurried, yet all-consuming in a way Eddie had never experienced before. It wasn’t a performance or pretend. He was kissing Buck, his best friend, and it was real. Eddie knew then that he never wanted to kiss anyone else. Not when he knew it could feel like that.
Eddie only pulled back far enough to look into Buck’s eyes. This time Eddie was certain he wasn’t imagining the pink tint adorning Buck’s face. “I love you,” Eddie said simply because he could. He didn’t have to fight the impulse to say those words anymore and, well, that was a feeling Eddie could get used to.
“I love you too.” Buck lifted their clasped hands and kissed the back of Eddie’s sweetly. “And as much as I want to go back to kissing you, I think we should probably eat our ice cream while it's still somewhat frozen.”
“Hmm, you’re probably right. It’d be a shame to let something as good as mint chocolate chip go to waste.”
Buck pulled back onto the road and continued driving without a destination, all the while they both enjoyed their ice cream between sneaking glances and sharing giddy smiles. Once they had both finished off their sweet treats, Eddie’s hand found its way back into Buck’s and remained there until they finally pulled back into Eddie’s driveway.
Later that night, lying in bed with Buck’s warm body pressed against him, Eddie decided that maybe his days of late-night drives were a thing of the past. He realized that perhaps the real reason he’d ever stopped was because he much preferred being in the passenger seat with Buck behind the wheel.