Chapter Text
It was difficult to explain, honestly. Not that Noel had ever tried, or that he had ever had the desire to need to explain it to anyone, but if he had to, it would be nearly impossible.
Where would he start?
Would he start with Liam being born? Or with his parents meeting?
Would it even be worth it to try to explain anything anyway?
Probably not.
"Liam, where are you, darling?" Noel rounded the corner into the kitchen, and his face dropped as he saw his younger brother sitting on the floor, bowl and spoon in hand, surrounded by loose pieces of cereal and some spilt milk. Thankfully, most of it had ended up in the bowl.
He was surprised to see that Liam had even tried to clean up his mess, even if it was barely successful. It was the thought that counted. The pieces of cereal had been gathered into a pile beside where he was sitting, and there were some completely soaked paper napkins still lying in the puddle of milk.
"What's all this? Are you making a mess in daddy's kitchen, big man?"
"No," Liam whispered, his eyes shifting away from his older brother and to the floor in front of him. "Was hungry."
"Well, now I've got a mess to clean up, haven't I? Making a mess in daddy's kitchen, what am I gonna do with you, hmm?"
Liam giggled a little bit, quietly enough that Noel knew that it had been a genuine accident. Had it been intentional, Liam would've made an effort to not laugh at all.
"Go on and put on some dry clothes, and I'll make some breakfast for you, yeah?" Noel said. He noticed Liam's shirt had been soaked by the milk. "Wash your face, too. Daddy'll help you brush your teeth after we eat something."
He watched Liam head off to his bedroom, shaking his hands of the milk that remained on them. He chuckled a bit. It was a bit cute, honestly. That shirt was going to absolutely stink if Noel forgot to wash it immediately, but something about the way Liam was made it seem insignificant.
Noel cleaned the mess of cereal and milk off the floor and prepared toast (with butter and jam) and tea for them both, only stopping when he realised Liam was taking quite a long time.
"Daddy."
"Yeah, Liam?" Noel shouted back.
"Help."
Help is one of those words that you just shouldn't shout without context. Noel thought it was one of those times he was going to have to give Liam a proper telling-off for shouting help for no reason, but he was genuinely surprised when Liam needed help getting facewash rinsed out of his eyes.
"Christ, Liam, what's gotten into you today?"
"I don't know," Liam whined.
"Let daddy help you."
Noel helped him rinse his eye out, finally getting the pain to subside. As he watched Liam dress himself, he made a mental note to buy a more gentle facewash the next time they had to stock up. He couldn't have this happen again. After Liam successfully put a clean shirt on, Noel gave him a gentle tap on the ass and told him to head to the kitchen for breakfast.
They ate together, mostly in silence that was occasionally broken by Liam narrating what he was doing, like stirring his tea or putting more jam on his toast.
"Daddy, d'ya know that strawberry's my favorite?" Liam asked, stumbling a bit over the difficulty of the word 'strawberry'.
"Yeah?" Noel replied.
"Mhm."
This was something that no one could ever, and would never, know.
It wasn't a difficult secret to keep; it's not like it was something that would come up naturally in conversation and that a guilty conscience would let slip. It wasn't even something, in Noel's opinion, to feel guilt or shame over. Liam had always been like this, for as long as he could remember. And he was the only one who knew, and he was the only one who could know.
Despite it not being a shame thing, it was something people didn't, or wouldn't, understand.
The closest they had ever come to someone else finding out was at a party one evening, when Liam was particularly drunk and had almost let a "daddy" slip out as he was trying to find Noel to ask to leave. He had caught himself, though, even though he was as drunk as he had been that night.
"Daddy?"
"Yeah, darling?"
"To the pitch?"
Noel ruffled his brother's hair a bit and gave him a sad smile, giving himself a moment to think of a lie. "Not today, Liam. I don't think it's too much of a good idea. It's gonna rain a bit."
It wasn't supposed to rain at all, but Liam didn't know that.
Noel tried to avoid taking him out in public when he was in this state. It would be risky, and it would be a lot to explain why a grown man was acting like a child and calling another grown man, who wasn't much older than him and certainly wasn't his father, "daddy." So he lied. For all Liam knew, it was going to rain. And Noel wasn't going to have him track mud through their flat.
"Oh."
He felt guilty, really, but it was for the best.
"But," Noel continued, "we can just have a day where we watch telly and eat lots of Monster Munch, yeah?"
Liam was rarely in this state all day. It did happen occasionally, but it was rare. Maybe twice a month. They would go to the pitch when he was older.