Chapter Text
Next to a secluded beach in a modest town in the state of South Carolina, Jonathan Joestar has his home, though in reality, very few people refer to him by his birth name. He always introduces himself to others and prefers to be called Johnny, and that is how he will be referred to from now on.
Johnny is a young man with blond hair, blue eyes and a slim build. He was born in Danville, Kentucky, and despite being raised in a landlocked area, Johnny was fascinated by the sea from the moment he first visited a beach. What truly captivated him that day and led him to define his purpose in life was discovering surfers. People who, with just a board, mastered the sea and rode the waves at will.
From a very young age, Johnny began surfing. During summer vacations, when they could travel to the coast, he surfed in the open sea, and the rest of the year, he practiced in artificial wave pools. Johnny's parents were financially well-off, so they supported their son in everything he asked for, and he never lacked anything. However, there was a limit his parents were not willing to cross. They supported his surfing as long as it was just a hobby, but they were against Johnny's idea of pursuing it professionally. This led to many arguments and fights, and the relationship with his family became strained to the point where Johnny, after finishing high school, gathered all his savings and ran away from home, moving to a coastal town in South Carolina to start his new life and chase his dream of becoming a professional surfer.
Everything started well for Johnny in his new life: the house he moved into wasn't too large, nor ostentatious, nor in optimal condition. In fact, compared to his old home, it seemed ridiculous, but it was actually very spacious for one person and was located in what he considered a prime spot. In fact, the location was the reason he chose to live there: the property included a small private beach where Johnny could always stay in touch with the sea and train whenever he wanted without anyone disturbing him.
Johnny entered every competition he could, traveling to places he could afford, and although he didn't always come in first place, he frequently made it to the podium. At the beginning of his newly launched career, he didn't care much about his placement. It didn't matter to him whether he came first, fifth, or twentieth. He was pleased with any reward, even if it was just a $25 gift card from one of the sponsors. But one could say that when he thought that way, he was still a kid, and over time, he realized that to even approach the lifestyle he once had, he couldn't live off gift cards—he needed money, and the more, the better.
After a couple of years competing, Johnny was beginning to become more and more well-known in the world of surfing, at least along the coast of Carolina, and he was often among the favorites. Several prominent figures offered to become his coach, but Johnny turned them down. He wanted to be free and do things his own way, and for the moment, he felt that it was working out well because he was getting what he wanted.
Money gradually began to change his personality. Always chasing the biggest prize possible led Johnny to be consumed by greed and competitiveness. It was not even enough for him to made it to the podium anymore. Anything less than first place made him feel like a failure. He had gone from surfing out of passion to doing it out of duty. He forced himself to train more frequently and for longer periods, pushing past his limits again and again.
A significant local competition was approaching, offering exorbitant prizes due to the area's large, powerful waves, which were suitable only for advanced surfers. The first prize in that competition was the largest sum of money Johnny could earn since the start of his career, so he couldn't afford to lose. And Johnny would learn the hard way that constantly pushing beyond one's limits comes with consequences.
Johnny arrived at the competition site exhausted, anxious, and irritable. He had barely slept the night before. And without knowing for sure whether it was due to human error, the unpredictability of nature, or a bit of both, a tragedy was looming that would change his life forever.
Despite not being in optimal condition, Johnny was determined to impress the judges by attempting a risky maneuver. He decided to ride a massive wave to perform an aerial. Ignoring the difficulty and potential risks, he aimed to attempt a 540-degree spin during the jump. Executing it correctly would guarantee him first place. Johnny positioned himself masterfully and flawlessly on the wave, but after the jump, something went wrong.
While in the air performing the spin, he destabilized for some reason, lost control, and fell from a significant height. He landed on his back against his board, which then struck the surface of the water with great force. Following this, Johnny was engulfed by another massive wave that came right after.
The sudden impact of his back against the board violently compressed his spine, causing sharp pain in the area of the impact and numbness in his lower limbs. Johnny tried to get out of the water, but he could feel himself on the verge of losing consciousness from the blow.
He was quickly rescued by the competition's medical team. Given the seriousness of the incident, the organizers decided to cancel the event, and Johnny's accident made headlines in almost every media outlet.
"Surfer Johnny Joestar Paraplegic Following Serious Accident at Competition"
When he woke up in the hospital and the doctors delivered the news, his reaction was so violent after the initial shock that they had to sedate him and prioritize psychological treatment over surgeries. The doctors confirmed that, despite any operations they might perform, the damage appeared to be irreversible, and it was highly likely that he would never walk again.
He struggled greatly to emerge from the state of denial. Every night, he went to bed with hope, believing that the next day he would finally wake up from the vivid nightmare tormenting him, but that was not the case. Johnny was devastated each time he woke up to find himself still on the hospital gurney, with the lower half of his body completely immobilized.
Many people from the surfing community who knew Johnny and had interacted with him offered their help during these difficult times. While he was hospitalized, they came up with the idea of raising funds to adapt Johnny's house to his new situation and to build ramps leading down to the very edge of the beach, so he could access it with his wheelchair. When they asked if he liked the idea and if they had his permission to carry out the work, Johnny simply managed a polite smile. He didn't want to be rude to those trying to help, but at that moment, he was in a state where he had lost the will to live. He wasn't even sure he wanted to return home. He was bound to a wheelchair for the rest of his life, unable to walk again, let alone surf. All Johnny could think about was that he would rather be dead.
The psychological support he received in the hospital gave him just enough strength to cling to life, accept his situation, and learn to be as independent as possible with his disability, although occasional intrusive suicidal thoughts still lingered. It was difficult to fight against something like that, especially considering that, despite having many acquaintances, he had no one truly close or confidant in his daily life with whom he could express how he felt.
The closest person he could count on after leaving the hospital was Erina Pendleton, a very polite and kind older woman who lived not too far from Johnny's house. When he moved there, Erina welcomed him into her home as if he were one of her own grandchildren, so it was no surprise that, after the accident, Erina offered to visit him from time to time to bring homemade food, clean his house, and help him with anything he needed while he was regaining his independence. He knew he could talk to her about anything without being judged, but Johnny didn't want to burden poor Mrs. Erina with his troubles. She had always been so kind to him that he didn't want to make her sad by sharing all the dark thoughts that plagued his mind.
A couple of weeks had passed since Johnny had returned from the hospital. Mrs. Erina had come for her routine visit to bring him some food. She had a key to Johnny's house in case of an emergency, but she preferred to ring the doorbell first. Although Johnny took a little while to answer, she waited patiently until he opened the door.
"Hello, Johnny!" -Erina greets him with her usual sweet and loving smile- "How are you feeling today?"
"Hello, Mrs. Erina." -Johnny moves away from the door to let her in- "Well... I'm getting by, as always. And how are you?".
Erina briefly shows Johnny the various containers of homemade food she brought before heading to the refrigerator to store them, while she continues their conversation.
"I'm doing very well, dear. Today my son told me they're coming to spend the summer holidays with me. And my granddaughter Lucy will be coming too—do you remember her? You won't recognize her, for sure! She has grown a lot! ... Look, today I brought some crab soup, salmon with roasted vegetables..."
Erina interrupts herself, pulling a container from the fridge with a mix of indignation and affection in her voice.
"Do you still have potato salad from last time? I left you too little! You need to eat more or you'll get sick!"
"I'm sorry, but I've told you, you bring too much food" -Johnny responds, approaching her- "You see... I don't burn as many calories as I used to."
"And what about what we talked about?" -Erina says, placing her hands on her hips- "Have you tried getting out of the house?"
Johnny hesitated and looked away. He hasn't left the house since he got back from the hospital. He doesn't want to face the negative feelings that the outside world, especially the beach, generates for him. Just hearing the waves from his living room creates a constant anxiety that he usually covers up with the TV or loud music.
After his previous visit, Johnny promised Erina that he would start making the effort to go outside, but he hasn't found the strength to do it, and now he feels bad because he has disappointed her.
"Oh Johnny, dear." -sighed Erina, placing a hand on his shoulder- "I know it's hard, but you must take the step and do it. It's for your own good."
"I know, but..."
Johnny is unable to finish the sentence. He sighs heavily and rubs both hands over his face.
"Do you want me to go with you the first time? Things are easier when done together."
Johnny doesn't know how to respond. Part of him wants to do it for Erina, because he knows it's a step he needs to take if he wants to overcome this and rebuild his life, but at the same time, he's terrified of facing his trauma and doesn't want to break down in front of her. He would prefer to do it alone, but he knows he's not capable of taking the step without a little push. In the end, Johnny makes a gesture that is somewhere between a nod and a shrug.
"Can you come with me to the backyard? I haven't seen the platform to the beach yet. I'd like to start from there."
"Of course, dear."
After putting away everything she brought, Erina heads to the door that leads to the backyard, which connects to Johnny's small private beach. She opens the door and steps outside. Johnny follows her, leaving his house as well. He lifts his gaze and freezes. There was his beach, where he used to go for swimming or training with his board.
Everything was as he remembered. The only difference was the platform his acquaintances had built to make wheelchair access possible, since there were some uneven areas between the backyard and the beach that he used to cross with ease, but no longer could.
He tried to look away but didn't know where to focus. Fragments of happy memories on that beach began to come back to him, mixed with vague recollections of the day of the accident. The pain of the impact, the wave swallowing him, the water entering his lungs, the panicked screams of people… He clenched his hands tightly against the wheels, trying to suppress those feelings before continuing to move forward.
Erina noticed that Johnny wasn't doing very well and held him by both shoulders, offering words of encouragement.
"That's it. You're doing great. Keep going. You can do it."
That simple gesture and the calm voice of Mrs. Erina made Johnny's intrusive thoughts dissipate for a moment.
"Do you want to go down to the beach?" -Erina asked, almost in a whisper- "May I join you?"
"No, thank you, this is enough. You can leave for today, Mrs. Erina." -Johnny raised his hand and waved it back and forth, indicating negation- "I want to go to the beach, but I also want to do it myself. I'm very grateful to you, as always."
"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" -Erina insisted- "I don't mind, and you'll need support."
"No, really, I'm fine." -Johnny let out a forced smile- "I'll be okay. Don't worry, really."
"Alright, I'll leave you then. I don't want to pressure you. But will you let me stay up here until you reach the shore? Or as far as you feel capable of going. Just to make sure everything is okay and to be here for support if you need it."
Johnny wants to refuse, because what he really wants is that she should not be there, but he finds himself unable to say no to Mrs. Erina when she looks at him with that pure, unmalicious expression. So, Johnny agrees, and Erina stays at the beginning of the platform, while Johnny starts to descend, trying to hide the trembling of his hands. If it had been up to him, he would have turned back halfway, or even earlier, but he wanted to push himself for her, as he had promised to start going outside and didn't want to disappoint her again.
The platform they had built was solid, sturdy, and wide. As he descended, he thought of all the people who had contributed to both the platform and adapting his home, which were things that had required a significant investment. People had helped selflessly, and at that moment, he felt he hadn't been grateful enough to everyone. Now, along with the growing anxiety with each forward movement, there was also guilt.
He reached the shore, just before where the sea began to recede. Johnny turned towards Mrs. Erina, giving her a thumbs up with a wide, false smile. Erina gave a slight wave as a farewell, then made the gesture older people use when referring to a telephone call. Johnny understood that she meant to call her if he needed anything. Erina began to walk away. As soon as Johnny saw her go through the back door of his house, he stopped holding back and pretending that everything was okay.
Johnny broke down in tears. His breathing became rapid and irregular. His hands moved between his face and his chest, in a vain attempt to stop his tears and try to calm his breathing. Intrusive thoughts swirled in his mind at a dizzying speed, and he couldn’t stop them.
You’ve dedicated your whole life to something you’ll never be able to do again.
All this happened because of you, you could have prevented it.
You’re like this because you’re a failure destined to fail.
You’re worthless, just a burden to those around you.
You have no purpose in this world, you’d be better off dead.
Die.
Die.
Die.
He tried to remember the techniques he was taught in therapy to break out of the cycle of intrusive thoughts, but they weren’t working, at least not as quickly as he wanted. This crisis seemed to be the strongest he had had since the one he experienced waking up at the hospital, and this time, there was no one to give him a sedative.
After several minutes that felt endless, he finally was starting to calm down. The tears continued to fall down his face, but he had managed to slow his breathing a bit. Now, his mind was filled with some positive messages mixed with the negative ones.
It’s not the end. You can find another purpose in life.
You’ve wasted your life. There’s nothing you can do. You should give up.
You need to keep fighting. The world is full of wonderful things.
And you’ll miss most of them for being a fucking disabled piece of shit.
You are strong enough to overcome this!
With trembling hands, he placed them on his chest and began to force himself to breathe more slowly, taking in air for longer periods, as he had been taught. After a few more minutes, he managed to calm down completely and return to normal.
It cannot be said that he had completely overcome it just with that, but he did feel somewhat a little less pressure and mental burden. Johnny was glad he had forced himself to try and had taken a step, even if it was tiny, in the right direction.
His eyes were stinging a bit. They were probably red from crying. Since he was alone and didn't have any tissues, he wiped his tears and snots with his hand, then, with resignation and a look of disgust, wiped his hand on his pants. He had to wash those clothes anyway, so... did it matter?
But Johnny wasn’t actually alone.
Suddenly, just before he turned to leave, a voice was heard.
"Are you okay? What happened? I thought you wouldn’t come back!"