Chapter Text
The one day in a long time that he's actually off, you bring him right back to his place of work.
Was it some kind of punishment for that one time he scratched up the door frame by the laundry room? Or maybe because he accidentally backed his car into your neighbor's son's tree house and now you can't say hello without feeling awkward or their son giving you the evil eye. Why was the tree house in the front yard anyways? Really it was their fault, not his.
But honestly, if you weren't his beloved girlfriend and didn't live together, he would pitch the biggest of bitches the world has ever seen.
He almost openly weeps when you gesture over to...another monster...a..cat? Sitting by a window on one of those tall chairs, in a white blazer, leg delicately crossed over the other with the stinkiest look of arrogance radiating off him. It makes his ears peel back on his head. But because he's a civilized monster, he doesn't actually hiss.
Oh my fuck, Burgerpants has competition.
You glance over to the orange feline beside you, smiling and bump your elbow into his arm. "Relax. He's...a friend. C'mon."
He lets you grab his arm and drag him forward and unfortunately closer to the awaiting red feline. If Burgerpants had boots he'd be shaking in them because THIS guy is creepy as FUCK. But oddly enough he looks cool? It's a weird combination.
"Afternoon, Katz! It's been awhile." You say, pulling out a chair, consciously making an effort not to drag it too much against the floor before taking a seat. The cat blinks and nods his head, politely, trying to ignore the screeching of the chair as Burgerpants pulls out his own, passive aggressively knowing its annoying before sitting down as well.
"Hey." Katz, huh? Yeah, not a pretentious name at all.
"Afternoon and its good to see you too, darling."
You take it upon yourself to lay out what it is you are all exactly doing here. Burgerpants tries not to fidgit under Katz' gaze, feeling smaller by the second. "Yeah, so this is Burgerpants. Burgerpants, this is Katz."
"Cool."
"Hmm."
Okay, you make a mental note about that being the worst introduction ever. "...so I asked Katz to help you with your self-esteem.." Cue the glare.
Burgerpants gives you the 'why are you doing this to me' look briefly before covering his face with his hands. He didn't deserve this. He only then looks up when he hears a deep chuckle.
"Your cowardice is strong, my dear boy."
"What!?"
"And that can't actually be your real name, right? Pleassse, tell me it's not." The amusement in his voice is as strong as the so called cowardice Burgerpants shows.
You're itching to answer for him but you force yourself not too.
"My name's Calvin."
Invisible eyebrows raise as Katz eyes noticeably widen. "That's wonderful. We're one step closer to you being more...confident. We'll be another step closer after you change those rags you're wearing."
You almost choked.
".....rags?"
Katz leered. He didn't like having to repeat himself. "Yesss. What are you a duck? A dog?...Cats don't wear such pathetic pieces of garb. But do not worry, I'll give you the help you so, so need, old sport."
Burgerpants slowly turns his head to not just look or glance but glares at you.
Maybe this wasn't the best idea after all.