Work Text:
Salvation -Gabrielle Aplin-
A puff of white smoke haunted the black sky with no stars. In this cold weather of February, Shizuo was walking in monotonous steps along the row of colorful shop displays. Time sure passed by in a flash, he noted. A cigarette hung loosely on his lips as his mocha-brown orbs were swimming through the passersby.
Work had been tough that day. A few clients were as stubborn as shit and he went all hulk in just a countdown of three. The evidence was clearly shown in his torn vest, battered shirt, and bloodied scarf (his blue-tinted glasses fell and went missing). Again, another Kasuka’s present had gone to waste. Even just remembering the annoying pests and the fight that afternoon had re-summoned angry vein on his head.
He continued to walk, feet brought him closer to a certain apartment building without the order of the brain as if already programmed to do so. It was scary, how a routine did to your body. The more paths he took, the lessened the people he met. Without him realizing, there was only him in the empty snow-covered road, leaving trail of footmarks on the surface of this white heap.
The cold was never a bother to him thanks to his insane body heat, nevertheless his fingers tightened the brown scarf he received from a certain flea on his birthday. Yeah, time sure flies. It’s scary.
Shizuo put off his cigarette in his new portable ashtray—which was also a birthday present from Celty—and dumped it back on his pocket. He almost took out another cancer stick to calm his raging nerves when a familiar scent hit his nostrils.
Snorted in amusement, he put back his cigarette pack.
Nah, nicotine for another day then.
He was brought to a nearby park which overlaid by a glorious silvery white. No sign of human, but he knew that flea must be there.
“Izaya, come on out.”
A silky voice came afterward as a response.
“Shizu-chan’s nose is sharp as usual, eh.”
Shizuo snorted at that, making his way to sit at one of the old swings.
“It comes in handy all the time.”
The metal creaked warningly at the sudden weight, but the blond paid no attention. A shadowy figure sneaked up from behind and took a seat in the swing next to him.
“Of course, of course. Since Shizu-chan is very much like a dog.”
The said shadow chuckled; his feet pushed to the ground and forced the swing to sway his petite body back and forth.
“A dog, huh? Better than a lazy-ass cat, then.”
“There’re advantages to a lazy cat more than what Shizu-chan thinks~”
Shizuo looked to his side for the first time since he made himself comfortable on that old swing, smiling briefly.
“And what are those?”
Yeah, I have no more need of nicotine today.
You are the avalanche
One world away
My make believing
While I'm wide awake
“Many, many things, of course~” Izaya chirped, hands spread wide open as he gazed to the colorless sky.
It made Shizuo do the same, eyes gazing up and meeting no stars. “Give me example.”
It was ridiculously amusing, Shizuo genuinely thought, that he and Izaya became friends after all the things they had been through. Not surprising, but highly amusing. The thought of losing the raven-haired male triggered his impulse to propose the restarting thing.
“Well, lazy-ass cat makes sure that he has a good master that will feed him good, highly nutrient food. Thus, he won’t have to frantically dig the dumpster for a mere fishbone.”
“Sounds like cozy life, indeed.”
“Of course it is!”
Scarlet eyes glittered in delight; lips curving in that all-too-familiar coy smirk. Shizuo returned the smirk as casually.
“And you think a dog can’t do that?”
Hilarious indeed, how their relationship turned out. Their roller-coaster dynamic used to have much more killing intent since the first time they met. Thinking back on that time, Izaya had always been a special case.
Standing up on the highest ground and looking down on others like a detached god whilst flashing that mocking smirk at his so-called beloved humans, furthermore enjoying to test out emotions through the dirtiest methods possible in childlike mannerisms—Shizuo never really grasped Izaya Orihara’s thoughts.
Izaya was a self-claimed god, and Shizuo was what people called a monster. They were one world apart, yet the biting of loneliness they felt were one and the same. It knew no hierarchy, the kind of feeling that mirrored oneself to another.
Izaya Orihara decided to observe humans, thus detached himself from humanity. He avoided human emotions at all costs for the sake of his unilateral love. Meanwhile, Shizuo Heiwajima was a unique being, feared by people because of his insane strength. With temper as thin as a thread, he could easily be lost in a supreme wrath.
“Dogs are loyal, independent being. He won’t manipulate humans just for food.”
Izaya said with a sigh, as if that was already obvious and Shizuo should know that already.
The blond nodded in return, “I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right.”
Shizuo Heiwajima couldn’t stand Izaya Orihara for everything around Izaya Orihara screamed bad and insane. He was the storm in Shizuo’s life, bringing the heap of madness and shoving away his concord. He was also the stubborn ghost that had no fear of his brute strength, continuing to rip him off his control and tripping him off his balance.
If Shizuo had to give one exact word to describe Izaya, there was one that suited him the most.
Avalanche.
Izaya Orihara was the avalanche, burying his unconscious in the coldest world so that Shizuo Heiwajima would stay awake—awake and see only him, pay attention to only him. Thus, Shizuo obliged—putting aside his layer of sanity.
Since when the blond didn’t know, but Izaya became the pivot of his world—his consciousness. He was the only person whom Shizuo believed would come back to him when no one else did.
Shizuo stared at the raven-haired male who was swinging innocently like a child.
“What is it, Shizu-chan? Something’s on my face?”
Came the sultry voice when Izaya caught his gaze.
“Nothing…” Shizuo scratched his nape, “Just your confidence of being right never ceases to amaze me.”
Izaya snorted, and then laughed wholeheartedly.
Just a trick of light
To bring me back around again
Those wild eyes
A psychedelic silhouette
Shizuo was sure it was all because of the light from the street lamps. Yeah, it must be. Because for a second there, he caught those scarlet eyes sparkled, as if a fairy appeared and decided to dump her pixie dust on Izaya—in that instant moment, his heartbeat came to a halt.
“Shizu-chan?”
“Yeah?”
His muffled answer resounded in that empty park. Palm covering the lower part of his face as red decided to drop by and splashed his face.
I even thought he was cute…
“Your face is funny, here let me take a pic!”
Izaya pulled out his phone and shoved it to the blond’s face without warning, ready to commemorate his embarrassing moment.
“You bastard! Put it away or I’ll break your phone in half!”
Shizuo directed his face elsewhere and glared threateningly at the pile of snow whilst Izaya was grinning like a Cheshire cat.
“But Shizu-chan’s face is hilarious! I have to take your picture no matter what! Aaaand, don’t worry, I’ll even send it to Shizu-chan too~”
“You really have a death wish, huuuhh, flea bastard?!”
The constant pulling on his vest made Shizuo turned around again and decided to confiscate the damn gadget. But, of course, Izaya wouldn’t go down without a fight.
He even hopped off his swing and dared to throw snow on Shizuo’s face.
Spitting the white abominable off his mouth, Shizuo started to chase the raven-haired male. Izaya only laughed and kept on hitting Shizuo with précised-thrown snowballs.
Shizuo also threw his ‘own version’ of snowball, but the pest was fast. Of fucking course! He should have known better.
Izaya Orihara was very fast; a silhouette which Shizuo had been chasing for years. Very much just like now, though he preferred the present more than the past.
This moment was unnaturally natural for him. Joking around and making snarky remarks without the actual bite to it.
Even the cheerful, laughing figure who kept on hiding and running from him felt unreal. Maybe, it is unreal.
Maybe, he was hallucinating. What if he was just imagining things?
Was Izaya even really there? Shizuo’s mocha orbs followed the flash of furry coat, wondering if he actually had a psychedelic dream—and that petite figure before his eyes was just a bewitching illusion.
A hit square in the face by a frosty snowball woke him up from his trance.
“Shizu-chan has a wide opening there! Has your brain fallen asleep because of the cold weather?”
Izaya cackled, looking like that annoying neighbor kid who would put a dog crap in your garden.
“Bastaaard…”
Shizuo growled; clearly disliking the numb on his face.
“Wake up, you brute! I am here!”
His eyes went wide at that. Slowly, a smile crawled back on his face as his gaze was fixated on the man named Izaya Orihara.
Yeah, you’re really here… always here.
I never meant to fall for you but
I was buried underneath
And all that I could see was white
My salvation, my my
My salvation, my my
The teen Shizuo would have never imagined a person who was not afraid of his well-being. That taunting smirk and challenging scarlet eyes were carved too deep. Izaya Orihara was really something else.
While the others gleefully made a beeline to avoid him, Izaya was the only one who came up to him with wild fascination in his eyes, clapping joyously on how he could be the last man standing.
Though he immediately disliked him, Shizuo couldn’t help the words ‘finally… finally, someone who isn’t scared of me’ in his line of thought.
Shizuo could count the number of people who wasn’t scared of him—Kasuka, his parents, Simon, Shinra, Celty, Kadota, and Tom. Well, Kadota and Tom weren’t exactly fearless of him, but they never did anything to make him angry. Simon never feared him because he possessed the same insane physical strength.
As for Kasuka and his parents, it was obvious they weren’t afraid of him since they were his family—and Shizuo had always been grateful for the affection and attention. Then, there were Shinra and Celty. Celty was a dullahan—an urban legend herself (and only feared alien), so there was no reason for her to be afraid of Shizuo. As for Shinra—if his crazy childhood friend could be afraid of him, there was no way he was able fall in love with a headless rider.
With them, Shizuo could find a reason why they didn’t fear him like everyone else. It had become a normal thing for him. Yeah, those people were normal to be fearless.
But, Izaya Orihara isn’t.
Unlike them, Izaya Orihara didn’t have a reason to be fearless of him. He was an exception.
With his reputation of being a monster, Shizuo was shunned by society. He was never a socialized person to begin with, and his strength ruined more of his possibility of having new friends.
When Shizuo had accepted his fate of being alone, he had to come.
“HA! Got you, flea!!”
Shizuo barked and laughed out loud, holding his stomach at the dumbfounded Izaya who had snow splattered on his face.
It turned out Izaya tripped on the heavy pile of snow and fell on his butt; Shizuo used this chance to throw his ugly snowball at the raven-haired male’s face.
“That doesn’t count!”
“Hell yeah, it does!”
Izaya’s pale skin was sensitive to the cold, it only took a bit of cold and his nose as well as his cheeks shaded with vague red. The raven-haired male sniffed and glared at the laughing blond.
“What’s with that face, flea? Can’t stand the numb? Serves you right!”
Shizuo walked to where Izaya was sitting. He patted and swept the snow off the raven’s hair.
“I really hate you, Shizu-chan…”
“Yeah, sure.”
Shizuo snorted at the pouty lips. Adorable flea.
Yeah, long ago, he had given up on befriending someone. He gave up before he tried, actually. Deep down, he was a coward—afraid of hurting people with his superhuman strength. So, he sealed away the idea of seeking friendship.
He was devastated, hopeless, with thought ‘there won’t be anyone who isn’t scared of me’ engraved too deep in his heart it turned into his belief.
Until one day, a fearless teenager appeared.
Though he wasn’t the most decent human being, Shizuo still felt relieved. It was as if the shackles had been broken.
Izaya Orihara came and liberated Shizuo Heiwajima.
It was the beginning of his everything. Yeah, Izaya was—is—his everything.
You are the snowstorm
I'm purified
The darkest fairytale
In the dead of night
“I’ve been wondering, why are you out here anyway? I was on the way to your apartment.”
Shizuo crouched down in front of the sitting (and still pouting) flea; his expression was full of questions.
“It’s none of Shizu-chan’s business.”
The said flea looked away, but Shizuo swore his already red face turned a shade deeper.
“Wait, were you actually waiting for me?”
Izaya flinched a bit and turning to look at Shizuo, wearing a nonchalant mask immediately.
“Your over confidence is really something, Shizu-chan~”
Ignoring that remark, Shizuo cupped his face. “Sorry, I took so long. Today was a bit hectic.”
Izaya froze on the spot, trying his best not to look away. Looking away meant weakness, weakness meant losing. Izaya hated losing.
“I said I wasn’t waiting for you, dumb brute.”
Shizuo snorted at the childishness, “Yeah, yeah, whatever flea. Let’s just stand up first.”
Shizuo recalled the year after they graduated from Raira. Izaya had built quite a reputation of his own in the underground. A reputation that rivaled Shizuo’s.
His orchestrated chaos made him shunned by society more than Shizuo. Truth be told, Shizuo didn’t know how to feel about that. With all the madness Izaya created in Ikebukuro, he accidentally cleaned Shizuo’s image of being a monster.
Izaya Orihara made Shizuo Heiwajima a hero by letting Shizuo stop the chaos he extracted. Thus, the name ‘monster of Ikebukuro’ was no longer a bad omen. It resulted in more people came to befriend the no longer lonely Shizuo.
It was just like a storm—the eye of the storm that purified the ground below. How ironic.
“Ah! Look, Shizu-chan! Snow!”
Izaya stood up and gazed at the flurry. Shizuo followed suit.
“It’s almost spring, yet the snow flurry still comes.”
“Wonderful!”
Izaya ran and spun around gleefully, making some sort of a welcome dance to the snow.
Again, Shizuo could see the sparkle around Izaya’s eyes. It pulled him into a trance.
The eye of the storm… the snowstorm, it’s hard to look away.
“Shizu-chan, stop making that dumb face and join me!”
Shizuo opened his mouth and closed it again; his mocha brown-eyes stuck to that scarlet gaze and couldn’t break free.
“Uhh… I’ll pass.”
“Party pooper.”
Izaya stuck his tongue out before continuing to spin around again.
Let the band play out
As I'm making my way home again
Glorious we transcend
Into a psychedelic silhouette
“I just don’t feel like doing shitty dance.”
Izaya turned to look at him and faked a gasp. “Such a foul mouth, Shizu-chan!”
Shizuo rolled his eyes at that, “Whatever, flea.”
“Shizu-chan is no fun~”
Seconds later, Izaya spun his petite body again in that childish manner.
“You really love spinning, huh? I recalled you often spin in that stupid swivel chair of yours.”
The raven-haired male turned to him in horror, “My swivel chair is not stupid, you dumb brute!”
Shizuo laughed loudly at the furious Izaya. He kept on laughing even when the raven-haired male shouted “Stop laughing”.
Shizuo made a walk to Izaya and immediately received a playful punch to his chest.
“Such a sissy punch, flea.”
“I really, really hate you, Shizu-chan!”
“Sure, sure.”
Shizuo’s laughter kept on resounding and Izaya tried to hold in his anger.
“I wish you die out of laughing!”
“Too bad, that won’t happen.”
Shizuo patted the angry flea’s head and received a scarlet glare which he thought was adorable instead of scary.
Your voice is like nicotine to me, you know. That’s why I don’t need a smoke.
It was like music, the kind of pleasant song a good band would play out. To think that he used to hate Izaya’s voice—since when he changed his thought anyway? No matter how tiring his day was, his spirit was always cured at the soft, silk-liked voice.
For him, it sounded like home.
“Shizu-chan, would you kindly stop your petting? It’s distracting enough.”
“But my hand is feeling comfortable up here.”
Shizuo grinned, annoying the raven-haired more.
“Would you like for me to bite your hand off?”
“Tsk, such a grumpy cat.”
Instead of retracting his hand, Shizuo let it wandered to Izaya’s cheek once again.
“Shall I enlighten your brain that I am, in fact, a human being, Shizu-chan?”
Izaya rolled his eyes, but did nothing to swat the blond’s hand away.
The light from the street lamps befell on them, creating their silhouettes which were peacefully standing together.
If it was two years ago, the scene had been an impossible, psychedelic dream. Yet, here they were—sticking close to each other without malicious intent.
For Izaya, it was a dream came true. For Sizuo, it was a peace he was always craving.
I never meant to fall for you but
I was buried underneath
And all that I could see was white
My salvation, my my
My salvation, my my
Izaya Orihara was Shizuo Heiwajima’s avalanche.
He was the avalanche that buried Shizuo underneath, and all Shizuo could see was a peaceful, glorious white universe.
Ironically or not, it was all Shizuo needed—white salvation.
I never meant to fall in love with you, but I do anyway.
“Hey, Izaya…”
“Hmm?”
The red that stained those white cheeks had grown darker again, and Izaya decided that looking at Shizuo’s chest was a better choice.
“Wanna date?”
Once again, the raven-haired male froze as soon as his scarlet orbs met Shizuo’s mocha-brown ones, and Shizuo swore he saw those cherry red lips trembled slightly.
Using this rare opening, Shizuo leaned down and captured those lips, making the owner widened his already wide eyes.
The kiss didn’t last long as Shizuo retracted himself to look at Izaya’s expression.
The reddening face and glassy scarlet eyes were already an obvious answer to his previous question. Shizuo couldn’t help the delight chuckles that escaped afterward.
He pulled the flea statue into his warm embrace, hands ruffling the raven hair affectionately. As soon as a quite sniffle was heard, Shizuo pulled back and stared at Izaya who was looking at him in disbelieving gaze.
“Can I take the silent as a yes?”
“…I didn’t… I—“
Izaya tripped on his words, and he could never be as clumsy as now. This satisfied Shizuo enough though.
“You didn’t want to?”
“…That’s not it, I…”
“I love you.”
Izaya looked surprised, but immediately looked down. His bangs shaded his beautiful scarlet eyes but Shizuo could see a single tear came down.
Chuckling, Shizuo cupped Izaya’s face again and kissed him to chase away the doubt.
“Let’s date, Izaya.”
Shizuo said afterward, smiling brightly and reassuringly. His hands went down to place themselves on Izaya’s shoulders.
As the raven-haired male looked up, a smile brighter than his came into view, along with glossy eyes that sparkled with strayed pixie dust.
A silent, confident nod came as his answer.
And that was enough, enough for Shizuo.
It salvaged him enough.
“You always be my salvation, mine and mine only.”