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Martyn shouted at the sky, his fists shaking beside him as he fell to his knees in front of the secret keepers temple. He swore as his fist hit the ground and tears began running down his cheeks.
"Fuckin' pricks.." he whispered in a defeated tone running a shaking hand up to his face and aggressively wipping away his tears, blinking harshly in attempt to make them stop. He had been at this for hours, screaming at the sky for answers about why they chose to talk to him of all people. Of all the people why did it have to be him? And now, now they leave? Stop speaking to him for months out of nowhere just for what. Just to talk to someone else? He won last season, he has a right to be their favorite! It's not fair!
"You're only making it worse, you know that right?" Grians slightly agitated voice spoke up and snapped Martyn out of his train of thought. He whipped his head towards him and sniffled as he stood back up.
"Listeners, Watchers, they're both the same. They don't care about any of the players, just about what they can gain. They find it funny" Grian walked over towards one of the three buttons in front of him and pressed down the 'task complete' button. Not even bothering to look at Martyn as he spoke. Martyn scoffed at Grian as he spoke in an almost monotone voice, as if this was just another normal conversation.
"Yeah, you would know more than anyone huh?" Martyn's voice cracked slightly but held a cocky tone.
Grians expression faltered in slight offense but it went unnoticed due to having his back to the other man. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it with a gentle huff of irritation from his nose and shook his head lightly, ignoring Martyn.
"Isn't that right, Iris" Martyn crossed his arms over his chest and leaned forward. Grian couldn't tell if his tone was malicious or upset but either way he hated how the name he used to be called fell from his lips in such a casual tone. He turned around to face him with a mad expression, he eyebrows were stitched together and his wings puffed out in attempt to make himself look more intimidating.
"I don't know who or what you're talking about, Martyn" He spat in a defensive tone, clenching his fists by his side and tilting his chin up subconsciously.
"Oh, right so sorry. I must've been thinking of a different watcher"
"Where is this even coming from?" Grian asked, his almost calm demeanor finally slipping as he took a step towards him.
"Just admit it! You talked to The Listeners somehow a-and made them turn on me!" Martyn pointed an accusing finger at him, his voice was filled with more grief than anything else.
"Why would I talk to them? I'm not a-" He stopped himself and thought for moment before inhaling and speaking in a more calmed voice. "I'm not like that anymore, you're thinking of someone else. I've never had any connection to The Listeners, barely had a relationship with The Watchers. You're just looking for someone to pinpoint the reason of your abandonment on"
Martyn huffed out a frustrated sigh and looked Grian up and down. He shifted his gaze to the floor, blinking harshly again to force small tears from showing themselves. It made sense. He hated to admit it but Grian was right. Grian was now in front of Martyn and grabbed his shoulder harshly. Martyn didn't react.
"You should know by now that they don't care. They never cared, and they won't start caring anytime soon. You're nothing but a pawn to them" Martyn slapped his hand away at his final statement.
"Don't say that! They cared about me more than anyone else ever did!" his voice was hoarse and desperate and his eyebrows were furrowed together as he almost shouted at him.
"You actually believe that?" Grian said with an amused scoff.
"Yes!"
"More than anyone?"
"Anyone"
"Even Ren?"
Martyn froze. His mouth was open in preparation to respond but his expression softened. His eyes scanned Grians stubborn expression and he felt tears sting his eyes again.
"Exactly.." Grian mumbled as he walked away from Martyn, leaving him standing there alone. A depressingly familiar feeling.
"Oh, and don't forget. You were the one that betrayed everyone else. Don't try and turn yourself into the victim here" he turned his head to the side as he spoke, his vibrant colored wings folded neatly against his back.
Martyn let out an offended scoff and turned around to face Grian "I never abandoned Ren-"
"But you thought about it. I know you did" Grian finally turned to look him in the eyes
"I did not-"
"Stop lying to yourself, Martyn!" He exclaimed, painfully frustrated.
"I'm not! I never thought about betraying Ren, ever! I-" he cut himself off with a hitched breath, his aggression slowly turning to desperation. "I swear.. I never- I- I never wanted to hurt him.. I didn't hurt him.. right..?" his voice grew quieter and quieter as he spoke into an almost whisper, wrapping his arms around himself as he took a step back. It sounded as if he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else, unsure if he was speaking to himself or the avian.
Grian looked at him with an unwavering expression. He understood where he was coming from, he really did but with Martyn it was hard to empathize with him after all he did. Betraying Scott and Impulse, killing him when he was the boogeyman- it was all too much. He felt empathy, but to a basic degree. He didn't feel.. bad, but he also didn't feel like he had a right to slip and crumble like this.
"Scar killed him before you got the chance" Grian spoke up again and finally walked away without another word, his wings twitched with irritation as he made his way back to Cleo and Etho.
Martyn shook his head harshly with his hands over his ears and looked back up to the unforgiving sky. "They wouldn't lie to me.. right..?" and within seconds the sky began to grow cloudy and a dark grey. He bit back a loud string of swears and he spoke with a crack in his voice.
"I-if.. if you guys actually- if what he said was true.. give me a sign" almost instantly it began to pour a heavy rain, thick droplets of water speckling on Martyn's face as he stared up to the sky with disbelief and ran a hand through his hair before letting it drop to his side.
"Fuck.." He muttered under his breath as he finally let tears fall from his eyes again. "I'm horrible aren't I?" he ran two hands through his hair as he spoke with an almost manic smile on his face, a defeated laugh was twisted in his voice as he spoke. The sky let out a low rumble and a loud shock of thunder could be heard immediately after he spoke. He stood there for a while. Trying to let everything sink in as he fidgeted with the old, now copper colored, necklace around his neck. Moving the charm side to side on the thin chain, clutching the old and rusted magnetic bone charm between his rough fingers as he bit the inside of his cheek. He let out a quiet whimper as he wiped a stray tear from his face sniffled softly.