Chapter Text
Sarah wasn't quite sure how she had been roped into this evening, but here she was, trying to figure out if any of her work blouses could possibly be considered “sexy” with some slight adjustments.
That's what she gets for drinking during the neighborhood gardening club. Too many glasses of red wine and suddenly her and Yan were lamenting the lack of dating pool over the age of 50, when Jane chimed in with knowledge of a local singles night, and before she could protest they were signed up. Well, not Jane. She was coming for “entertainment” purposes.
They were a mismatched group - all in their mid-50s with growing or grown children. Yan and Jane had sons who had just finished 6th form and were heading off to uni next year. With David working and Nick off in uni, Sarah’s life was suddenly open to new possibilities.
The plan was simple enough - convene at Yan's house to walk to the singles event, meet prince charming, and hope your carriage doesn’t turn into a pumpkin.
As she stepped out of her room she was met with a piercing wolf whistle. Rolling her eyes she looked over at her teenage son home from uni, just as he doubled over in laughter.
“Honestly Nick, I don't even know why I'm going.”
Nick dried his tears through the laughs and laid all 19 years of his wisdom on her: “Go live a little Mum! Get out there!”
“And you’re one to talk? How is your dating life?” she teased, momentarily feeling bad as he dramatically grabbed at his chest, miming being shot. One last eye roll and she was out the door, headed over to meet the girls from the gardening club.
Maybe, she thought to herself, checking out the over 50 singles night wasn’t such a terrible idea.
Checking out the over 50s single night was an objectively terrible idea.
Each of their two free drink tickets, compliments of the price of admission, were used quickly. They soon moved on to the overpriced box wine at the cash bar. Jane, the only one not single, was having a blast while Yan and Sarah hid in a secluded corner and turned Jane’s antics into a drinking game. The rules for the game were unclear, but seemed to be: drink when Jane introduces them to another walking example of why they should remain single, and then Jane would huff and drink as each victim eligible bachelor receded in humiliation, unable to get a word in through Yan and Sarah’s giggling.
As far as dating prospects go it was grim, but for a night away from the house with the girls, remembering that life existed outside of ferrying kids to and from sports events, paying bills, and washing laundry, it was an utter success.
Thankfully, no numbers were given out or dates arranged, initially due to Sarah’s and Yan’s exacting standards (meaning they had some), and later due to teh fact they couldn't actually remember their numbers. As the event ended the three walked arm-in-arm to Yan’s. (needed because the road was spinning terribly - they should call council about that), eventually making it back and collapsing on the small patch of grass near the front door.
“Jane,” Sarah slurred, “you are the worst wingerpersonman that ever existed.”
“Look! Stars!” Yan said, laying back to look at the cloudy and not-at-all-starry sky.
“Don’t hate the gamer, hate the player… wait… don’t hate the game … no, wait, I don’t know. Just, don’t blame me. I am so so very good at matchermakering.”
“I think my butt is wet from the grass,” Sarah giggled, grabbing her phone as Jane did the same. “I need nickerless to come get me.”
Sent Message: 🎵🎶 Matchmaker matchmaker come pick me up... The road is spinny and my butts wet...🎶🎵
Received Message: OMG
OMW over now
Sent Message: Chaaarrrllieeeee…
pick me up from Yan’s house?
Sarah said I’m wingless and Yan is in the bushes
imma show her my wings Charles!
Received Message: Mum?
OMW🤦🏻
Yan emerged from the bushes as Sarah and Jane started singing a mashup of “Matchmaker, Matchmaker” and “Wind Beneath My Wings,” in different keys, with Yan chiming in with “I can show you the world” from Aladdin. Right as they were reaching the crescendo of their performance, two cars pulled up, each with a teenage chauffeur glancing about at the height of embarrassment, ready to pour their respective mothers into their vehicles.
“Nickerless!” Sarah called out, “Save me from Jane’s wings!” She laughed, and laid back down on the damp grass, much to Nick’s chagrin.
“I can fly, Charlie-boy! I have wings! Watch me!” Jane called out, not noticing the panic across her son’s face as he no doubt pictured his mother jumping off a ledge. Instead he found himself being dragged over to the only other sober person, who appeared to be oscillating between mortification and holding in laughter.
“That's not how you do it Janey!” Sarah called, as she slowly crawled over, not wanting to be caught in the vortex of the spinning lawn that had clearly learned the idea from the neighboring street. “Nicky baby, I would like to formerly introducing you to Charles Springerlingerling.”
At this Yan sprang out of nowhere and looped an arm around each of the boys’ shoulders, despite their height differential, and began singing again, this time opting for “Kiss the Girl” from Little Mermaid.
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
The next morning, as flashes of the evening before came back to her, Sarah curled up in mortification. No way was Nick going to let her live this down. She was shocked that he hadn’t said anything yet. She cautiously crept down the stairs, finding the house empty, and a note on the kitchen table.
“Taking your advice - grabbing coffee with Charlie.”
Just then her phone dinged. Glancing down she saw the group chat update with a “red bull gives you wings” gif from Jane, filling her with righteous indignation.
Because hell no. This was HER match. No way was Jane taking credit for this.
